Do you know about depression?

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Perlita

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My 26 years old son in having some problems, he believes is depression and is having his first apointment with a psichiatrist this friday. He wants to go alone to the apointment, I would like to go with him…what would be better?..He lives with us, is a good person, but growing up and maturing has been hard for him.
Please pray for him.
 
Hello,

I once struggled with a very troubled mindset until I prayed once the Prayer to St. Dymphna. I just prayed to her once and it seems that I was cured. Come to think of it I have not made thanksgiving to her yet. Try asking for her intercession and say thank you to her for me.

Tell your son to pick the right friends - sometimes depression is caused by people who are insensitive.

Depression is hard to deal with but with your love, friendship from true friends, the intercession of St. Dymphna and most importantly the love of God, it is but nothing.

May your son be cured of his depression!
 
I have bipolar disorder, so I am familiar with depression and going to psychiatrists. My advice would be to let him go alone. There may come a time that the doctor will want you there, but for this first visit, let him go solo. If his first visit is anything like mine, it will be intensely emotional for him, and he may not want you to see him in such a state. if he feels like he cannot drive himself home, he can always phone you. And pray to St. Dymphna! She helped me; she will help your son too.

Lord Jesus Christ, You have willed that St. Dymphna should be invoked by thousands of clients as the patroness of nervous and mental disease and have brought it about that her interest in these patients should be an inspiration to and an ideal of charity throughout the world. Grant that, through the prayers of this youthful martyr of purity, those who suffer from nervous and mental illness everywhere on earth may be helped and consoled. I recommend to You in particular those for whom we now pray: Perlita’s son

Be pleased to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna and of Your Blessed Mother. Give those whom I recommend the patience to bear with their affliction and resignation to do Your divine will. Give them the consolation they need and especially the cure they so much desire, if it be Your will. Through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.
 
Yes I know about depression, this is a short journey he needs to do on his own,

Give him a hug everyday of the week, when he goes for his appointment ,

Make it clear to him, you are just a phone call away,and give him a hug,

And tell him just how important he is to you, because everyday he needs reassurance ,
 
I am saying a prayer for your son.
I would let him go by himself.
Sometimes there is a chemical imbalance in the brain regarding seretonin, and medication may also be needed for the depression to lift. It’s very good that he is seeing a doctor.
 
Your son is 26–a grown man. If he doesn’t want his mama to take him to a doctor’s appointment, you need to untie the apron strings and let him handle his doctor visits himself. Would you have wanted your mother along on such a visit when you were 26? I realize you love him and want to help him, but you may find out that if your love is strangling him --in his mind anyway–that his taking control of his own mental health needs will be a good step toward his own maturing and ending his depression. The same goes for any medication for depression the doctor may prescribe for him. Let it be—and pray for him–which, as the mother of 5 grown kids–I know is the hardest thing to do of all!
 
At 26 your son is an adult. Unless he is handicapped he sould go alone. Praying for both of you.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion — inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.
 
Perlita said:
My 26 years old son in having some problems, he believes is depression and is having his first apointment with a psichiatrist this friday. He wants to go alone to the apointment, I would like to go with him…what would be better?..He lives with us, is a good person, but growing up and maturing has been hard for him.
Please pray for him.
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Your son is an adult and needs to see his doctor on his own. I would think one of the first things he needs to do, while being treated for depression, is get a place of his own. (This is true unless he is disabled enough to be incapable of working or being on his own.) Part of his depression may be related to still living at home.

There are programs and networks of help he should familiarize himself with that will help him deal with depression and making it on his own should that be needed. He has to learn this if he has not already. One day you won’t be here to help him, so he needs to start the process of independence now, not when you are gone.

Let him do this on his own. He will share what he wants to when he wants to. And make sure you are not prying. Let him relay information on his own and in his own time.
 
Mature or not at 26 he is a grown man. Even if he were just 16 it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to accompany him to this visit. If and when the psychiatrist, or therapist if your son is referred, wants to do family counseling, you will be informed.

I suffer from depression and it may be a short road back, it may be a long road back. Please be patient and mother him but don’t smother him. Take a step back, letting your son know you are there for him but let the therapy and medications, if prescribed, do their work. Please, don’t interrogate him after this or any session. Ask gentle questions - “How did it go?” - etc., but don’t try to drill down for every little detail. Sessions are meant to be private so please respect that.

You and your family will be in my prayers.
 
Thank you very much. I needed reassurance that he needs to do this on his own. God has answered through you all. Thank you for your advice and your prayers. My gratitude is with you. God bless you.
 
Perlita said:
My 26 years old son in having some problems, he believes is depression and is having his first apointment with a psychiatrist this friday. He wants to go alone to the apointment, I would like to go with him…what would be better?..He lives with us, is a good person, but growing up and maturing has been hard for him.
Please pray for him.
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He might need to talk about things that are bothering him, and he probably wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about all the issues in front of you. If you were to accompany him, he’d need to censor his conversation.
 
If you went, the doctor would probably not invite you into the office. Treating depression is intensely personal and private. Imagine going to the gynecologist… With a parental audience!

I’ll pray that your son can be healed. Try to be supportive of what the doctor recommends, be it medication or lifestyle changes. He may even suggest your son become more independent and not rely on his parents as much. You will need to pray for strength to accept that.

As a nurse, I’ve noticed quite a bit of depression in young men is related to their “failure to launch” in life. They are often living at home, overly connected to parents, without a stimulating career or educational path. Their moms are still making haircut appointments, doing their laundry, paying their car registration. At 26, your son should be FULLY independent - living outside the parental home, supporting himself financially, and socializing with his own friends. Sometimes the depression and a failure to accept adult responsibilities is a vicious circle. The man becomes depressed because he’s still living as a child, and feels ashamed and like a failure. The depression makes it harder for him to go out and get a life and be successful. Parents become concerned and are reluctant to push their son to leave them. It’s all very unhealthy.

I hope and pray that this situation passes and your son is restored to good mental health quickly. Depression is a mental illness and is no one’s “fault” - but lifestyle choices can promote better mental health and I hope those choices come to pass for your son.
 
He needs to go alone. It is beautiful and truly a blessing that you support him and he will need you to be an integral part of his support team if he receives a depression diagnosis (which he likely will because we are the first to know when this is going on with us). His appointments need to be a completely safe space to discuss with candor how he feels and what he needs. Having a parent present, often leads to editing and rephrasing if for no other reason that respect for the parent and their expectations. There may be opportunities for you to be invited to a future session if the care provider feels it necessary or advantageous.

Until then the best thing you can do is be supportive, be approachable. If your son wants to discuss something discussed, be open to that but never ask him what was discussed. You can try saying something along the lines of “I hope you had a good session” or after a few sessions, “do you think this therapist/Dr is a good fit” general/ generic questions like that let him know you are invested without pressuring him to give details unless he really wants to.

HTH
 
Avocadomom said:
If you went, the doctor would probably not invite you into the office. Treating depression is intensely personal and private. Imagine going to the gynecologist… With a parental audience!

I’ll pray that your son can be healed. Try to be supportive of what the doctor recommends, be it medication or lifestyle changes. He may even suggest your son become more independent and not rely on his parents as much. You will need to pray for strength to accept that.

As a nurse, I’ve noticed quite a bit of depression in young men is related to their “failure to launch” in life. They are often living at home, overly connected to parents, without a stimulating career or educational path. Their moms are still making haircut appointments, doing their laundry, paying their car registration. At 26, your son should be FULLY independent - living outside the parental home, supporting himself financially, and socializing with his own friends. Sometimes the depression and a failure to accept adult responsibilities is a vicious circle. The man becomes depressed because he’s still living as a child, and feels ashamed and like a failure. The depression makes it harder for him to go out and get a life and be successful. Parents become concerned and are reluctant to push their son to leave them. It’s all very unhealthy.

I hope and pray that this situation passes and your son is restored to good mental health quickly. Depression is a mental illness and is no one’s “fault” - but lifestyle choices can promote better mental health and I hope those choices come to pass for your son.
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You are so right, he needs to go ahead with his life, he makes plans but fails to acomplish them, he says that looking back discovers that he was depressed since adolescence, is hard for me not having noticed, he was such a nice kid…but know, with his studies unfinished and without work he says he is so tired…Please pray for him…and thank you
 
You wouldn’t be allowed in for his consultation with his therapist if he were ten, let alone twenty-six. Still, you might offer to drive him, or to take him out for coffee or dinner afterwards. IOW, offer to support him. If nothing else, tell him beforehand that if there are trials in his life that stem from his childhood or even your relationship as it stands right now, for which you were unintentionally responsible, you are not going to attack him for saying so. Let him know that if he complains about you to his therapist, you will not take it as disloyalty. He has his craft sideways to the flow, and getting himself straight is the main thing.

When he has started therapy, be ready to welcome some constructive criticism when he finishes talking with the therapist. If it never comes, so much the better, but if it does, at least your son will not have to dread bringing it up with you. If the conversation becomes too difficult, be ready to say, “This is really hard for me. Do you think we might do this together, but with a therapist there to help us?” It is OK for you to accept help, too, after all! If he has stuffed a lot of things that ought to have been expressed over time, you may need the help to bear the blast of it all. Don’t hesitate to ask for help! It is well worth it to get this right with as few false starts as can be managed.

Most of all, I’d say to remind him that he ought not punish himself over depression any more than you’d want him to punish himself for getting a rash or having a trick knee. Praise him for being wise enough to get professional help. Let him know that although he’s going through something hard, you believe he is up to the challenge. In other words, take the stigma away by treating this as you would any other problem a man might have. Be on his side. Then stand back and let him handle this as he sees fit. It may be hard, but he is a man, and you owe him that much. Our Lady went through this, and earned for herself the title, “Our Lady of Sorrows.” Ask her to help you.
 
Perlita said:
You are so right, he needs to go ahead with his life, he makes plans but fails to acomplish them, he says that looking back discovers that he was depressed since adolescence, is hard for me not having noticed, he was such a nice kid…but know, with his studies unfinished and without work he says he is so tired…Please pray for him…and thank you
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I think I would take the tack, “I am so sorry you went through that. It breaks me heart to think about it; you were such a delight to me as a boy. I wish we could undo the past. As it is, what we can do is to work to free you from here on. This is your discovery and your life. You are going to be re-drawing boundaries for yourself. You let me know how I can help, and what ‘helpful’ things aren’t helpful after all, and we will gradually learn to do better together.”

Also, encourage him to allow his therapist to help him discover why he has trouble following through, rather than to go in with a pre-conceived self-diagnosis. He may have a form of ADD, and not depression. The depression may be a side-effect of not having the skills to compensate for his particular collection of psychological strengths and weaknesses. That’s medicine; let the psychiatrist practice it, since he has been to medical school.

If your son is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, I’d suggest the books of Ed Hallowell, a psychiatrist who also has ADD, but I get ahead of myself. I only mean to say that your son will do well to go into his meeting with his psychiatrist with an open mind. He won’t know his diagnosis until he gets one, and even then it will be a working theory for his treatment, not a once-and-for-all definitive reading of his situation. There is a reason they call medicine an art, after all!
 
I am so glad that I ask for your help, I never been in this sittuation, when you don’t know much about depression you don’t know how to help. I know my son tries to do things, but he can’t. My husband and my grown kids say to him “just do it, you have everything to succed, you can do it” but when he talks to me he explains that it is so hard, he is tired of trying and believes he can’t take another failure…I am hopeful this doctor would help him to know how to manage his life. My son is a very bright and good young man, All I want is for him to be alright. Thank you for your words…EasterJoy and framing your advice.
Thank you all. I love my son very much, but I am sure God loves him much more.
Thank you for giving me St. Dymphna prayer…I am praying to her for my son and all those who suffer mental illnesses.
 
Perlita said:
I am so glad that I ask for your help, I never been in this sittuation, when you don’t know much about depression you don’t know how to help. I know my son tries to do things, but he can’t. My husband and my grown kids say to him “just do it, you have everything to succed, you can do it” but when he talks to me he explains that it is so hard, he is tired of trying and believes he can’t take another failure…I am hopeful this doctor would help him to know how to manage his life. My son is a very bright and good young man, All I want is for him to be alright. Thank you for your words…EasterJoy and framing your advice.
Thank you all. I love my son very much, but I am sure God loves him much more.
Thank you for giving me St. Dymphna prayer…I am praying to her for my son and all those who suffer mental illnesses.
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I have likened living life with depression to be like flying an aircraft on instruments only. It is extremely tiring to see one thing intellectually and yet to feel either nothing or else things that contradict what you know in your mind to be true. You can tell yourself all day long that you are worthwhile, but if you feel nothing or feel worthless, it is a hard day to live as a worthwhile person does.

Commend your son for his courage. It is hard to have a real problem that is felt, rather than seen. Let him know that he deserves praise for looking for a doctor to help him see the truth about his value more naturally and easily, so he doesn’t have to work so hard at it. He deserves praise for keeping up his efforts after disappointments, too. He deserves this help. It isn’t going to get easy, but even if it gets easier, that will make a huge difference. In any event, encourage him to take the care of himself that he’d naturally take if he had a debilitating disease that was more visible. That self-care and compassion for himself will make a huge difference. He doesn’t need self-pity or pity from you, but he does deserve understanding,* especially* from himself!
 
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