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bitterhope
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Very much our choice. After being in DC it has been like heaven! We both grew up in a similar type of environment. City living is not for us. We will be living on post in MO though.
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pianistclare
Guest
I imagine finding an Uber driver with a a capacity for a large family and car seats is hard to find anyway.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
You could be my mom’s neighbor! She makes a little money (I lovingly call it her “side hustle”) by driving the Amish around and charging per mile, essentially acting as their Uber service.
Setting aside all of the previously mentioned points about running water, shelter, etc, I would say that I live in enormous luxury, but it’s all perspective. I grew up in the world described above and I hated and resented every day of it. My mom, however, believes it’s paradise and her privilege to live there (and she’s very poor). She loves the space, the privacy, and the people/community feel.
I live in a place that allows me easy access to public transit. We have two cars, but we keep one at my mom’s and only use the other every few weeks. I can walk to several different, high quality grocery stores, any type of restaurant you can think of, and countless shops, stores, and bars. I can order sushi, cookies, or Mexican food and have it delivered to my front door at 1 am if I want. I love the anonymity living in a city provides.
My parents are pretty sure my lifestyle is hell on earth. They see bad traffic, noise, impossible parking, small apartments, high prices, and tons of busy people all rushing around.
The real luxury is knowing how you want to live and being able to make that choice. I’m beyond blessed in that regard.
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bitterhope
Guest
It probably would be. Here many people have 12-15 passenger vans to drive the Amish. Some even have full time jobs driving for them (like a school bus in the morning and afternoon for the kids, delivering groceries, trips to Nashville for dr appts.), but when we lived other places, our van would be the only one we saw for weeks sometimes.
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bitterhope
Guest
And my oldest daughter would agree with you. She’s counting the days to move back to Europe. Nothing at all wrong with preferring something different.You could be my mom’s neighbor! She makes a little money (I lovingly call it her “side hustle”) by driving the Amish around and charging per mile, essentially acting as their Uber service.
Setting aside all of the previously mentioned points about running water, shelter, etc, I would say that I live in enormous luxury, but it’s all perspective. I grew up in the world described above and I hated and resented every day of it. My mom, however, believes it’s paradise and her privilege to live there (and she’s very poor). She loves the space, the privacy, and the people/community feel.
I live in a place that allows me easy access to public transit. We have two cars, but we keep one at my mom’s and only use the other every few weeks. I can walk to several different, high quality grocery stores, any type of restaurant you can think of, and countless shops, stores, and bars. I can order sushi, cookies, or Mexican food and have it delivered to my front door at 1 am if I want. I love the anonymity living in a city provides.
My parents are pretty sure my lifestyle is hell on earth. They see bad traffic, noise, impossible parking, small apartments, high prices, and tons of busy people all rushing around.
The real luxury is knowing how you want to live and being able to make that choice. I’m beyond blessed in that regard.
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BoomBoomMancini
Guest
Yeah, different strokes for different folks. I don’t necessarily enjoy big city living (although I currently live in DC) but I don’t know that I could live where you live either. My ideal is a mid-size city of a couple hundred thousand. I don’t necessarily want to be in Manhattan, but I don’t want to have to drive 90 miles for some decent sushi, either. To each their own.
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DarkLight
Guest
And I’d be quite happy in a big city where I didn’t feel like I had to own a car. I like being able to walk to everything, and not having a lot of space to take care of, and taking public transit.
You meet some interesting people too - it’s good to learn the stories of those not like you (other than 18 year old boys
).
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pensmama87
Guest
hey hey hey, ever hear of Pittsburgh?
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Allegra
Guest
Your kids don’t have to miss the eclipse. Ft. LW is only an hour and a half drive from the best view of the eclipse path. It’s passing right over central Missouri, including southern St. Louis country. If you go up HWY 63, you could be in the premium
viewing zone in no time.
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Rosebud77
Guest
sushi? Oh my ! A different world you live in …
I am longing to get back to a real isolation. And to giving up driving if truth be told. Just simplifying and detaching. … Been seeking this a long while now. Just the sky and sea, my Lord and me.
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Xantippe
Guest
Very nice!
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Xantippe
Guest
Oh, wow.
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Xantippe
Guest
It is nice.
I’m not sure if we have decent sushi (although the kids love the grocery store stuff), but we have been known to make a special trip just to go to a good Indian lunch buffet.
yelp.com/biz/red-onion-indian-bistro-killeen
(They’ve closed. NOOOOOOO!)
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bitterhope
Guest
Thank you so much for that information! The kids are so excited to hear that.
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bitterhope
Guest
sushi? Oh my ! A different world you live in …
I am longing to get back to a real isolation. And to giving up driving if truth be told. Just simplifying and detaching. … Been seeking this a long while now. Just the sky and sea, my Lord and me.
That sounds so very lovely.
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ToeInTheWater
Guest
I think the “is Uber a luxury” discussion shows how the idea of “luxury” vs. “necessity” is to some extent relative, for lack of a better word. I don’t have much access to Uber where I live and even calling a traditional cab is a pain. And when I was growing up, even riding a traditional cab or taxi was considered a luxury. We either took public transit, or walked. An old friend of mine, now makes a comfortable income, but still routinely walks almost 5 miles a day to commute.
However, renting a car for a week is pretty cheap, especially if the reason is because my car is in for repairs and I use the rental reimbursement offered by my car insurance company. About $25 a day, if that, so a week would be $175. Still more expensive than the rates bitterhope mentioned, but not $300-$400 either.
I also did purposefully choose to live in a place with bus service available. The bus only comes every hour or so, but two lines stop within walking distance so I can expect service about every 20-30 minutes. I like to know I wouldn’t be totally stranded if I was without my car for a day or two. And taking the bus would be cheaper than renting a car. I’d only rent a car if I knew I needed to go somewhere either very early or very late, when the bus service isn’t running. I’ve also used the bus on snow days and left my car in the garage.
There is also commuter train service available not in walking distance from my apartment. I’d have to drive or take the bus to the station. And it would take 20 - 30 minutes to walk to work from the nearest train station. I did do that once on a very bad snow day, though, when the buses weren’t running and the idea of driving the whole way caused me agita.
However, renting a car for a week is pretty cheap, especially if the reason is because my car is in for repairs and I use the rental reimbursement offered by my car insurance company. About $25 a day, if that, so a week would be $175. Still more expensive than the rates bitterhope mentioned, but not $300-$400 either.
I also did purposefully choose to live in a place with bus service available. The bus only comes every hour or so, but two lines stop within walking distance so I can expect service about every 20-30 minutes. I like to know I wouldn’t be totally stranded if I was without my car for a day or two. And taking the bus would be cheaper than renting a car. I’d only rent a car if I knew I needed to go somewhere either very early or very late, when the bus service isn’t running. I’ve also used the bus on snow days and left my car in the garage.
There is also commuter train service available not in walking distance from my apartment. I’d have to drive or take the bus to the station. And it would take 20 - 30 minutes to walk to work from the nearest train station. I did do that once on a very bad snow day, though, when the buses weren’t running and the idea of driving the whole way caused me agita.
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SuperLuigi
Guest
It’s not avoiding kids altogether. There’s an interesting synergy here where couples who don’t have kids don’t have the added expense, but most people are not having more than 2 kids, which really was is necessary to replace pop.
It was a specific example of a larger point. Don’t get so rooted in the specifics that you lose sight of the larger picture.
It’s not forgoing kids so much as it is thinking they need all of this stuff.
It’s not neglectful, and it’s understanding there are choices and consequences with those choices.
No social support from school—well, that’s the problem with the government running such things. And people need to stop dancing around and look that square in the eye.
That’s the best super-effort post I’ve seen in some time.
People who send their kids to private school (although some of those are questions I have to say) are going to get dinged twice. I am staunchly against such policies as they are in effect paying for a service (public education) they aren’t even using. Of course, a lot of them still VOTE to do this, so it’s hard to feel sorry for them…
As far as college goes, pretty soon that’s going to be too expensive for anyone to go to. A lot of teenagers today are listening to the tales of woe of Millennials and are being more cautious. And the universities still want programs where the scholarship, management, and leadership are rancid and to send their football folks to bowl games at a loss.
Your post does a really nice job of breaking down costs and mentions the big one which is daycare, but we need to get to the bottom of the increased costs which in many cases is an expensive local government that people keep voting for over and over and over and they keep volunteering to give money to school and unis that in many cases de-catechize their kids and laugh in their sleeves while doing it.
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DarkLight
Guest
It depends on a lot of things.
Where I am, not having a car is almost a luxury. Housing in the same area as most jobs is very very expensive and the bus schedule is somewhat limited, especially on weekends. Not having a car means either you can afford to live in a good area or that you can manage to get a job that works perfectly within the bus schedule (most lower-end jobs do not allow this sort of flexibility).
Most of my coworkers live around an hour’s drive away from work.
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Monica4316
Guest
I am single too and live separately from my parents… but I am not seeking a married vocation, and I don’t want to burden my parents financially. I wouldn’t call myself a feminist, I’m sort of a traditionalist really and attend the Latin Mass whenever possible. As for luxury, compared to the rest of the world probably it is luxury… compared to “north American standards”, not really, I rent an apartment with a roommate, I don’t have a car, or dishwasher, or even cable or internet. I use internet on my phone, which is a smartphone. I have a lot of books. 
I don’t know if “cafeteria” Catholics live in luxury or not… maybe being overly concerned with money and possessions could make it difficult to concentrate on a spiritual life. Someone could have these things but not be too attached to them, but this takes a lot of self control and it can be difficult.
I don’t know if “cafeteria” Catholics live in luxury or not… maybe being overly concerned with money and possessions could make it difficult to concentrate on a spiritual life. Someone could have these things but not be too attached to them, but this takes a lot of self control and it can be difficult.
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Xantippe
Guest
That’s true.
When we lived in suburban MD, it was a major perk of our neighborhood that there was a grocery store 5 minutes from our home and a metro station a 15 minute walk away.
And speaking of luxuries–being within walking distance of goods and services is something that used to be expected but is now seen as something exceptional and luxurious.
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