Do you notice this at Mass?

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anon65111186

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It happens more with women than men, but it seems ubiquitous at every Mass I attend, but unique to Catholic masses, I don’t see it at any other large gathering of people.

It may seem a trifle, but…

When standing, people fixing / adjusting / pulling down / obsessing over the back of their shirt / dress. Sometimes I see this done vigorously and conspicuously. Do you see it often, and does it distract you?

Is this just what appears to be a Catholic obsession, or do you see it a lot somewhere else?

I once saw a women try and pull down her blouse what had to be 50 times during a mass, every other minute. The thing was, her blouse covered her back and looked fine and not needing adjustment, which was even more distracting.

I like to pay attention to Father or what is going on at the altar, and this for me seems to be an eye catching diversion that is not needed. It leaves me thinking and wanting to say, “how many times do you need to pull your shirt down in the back people? I can’t see your bare back anyhow and you look fine, stop fiddling and just participate in Mass!”

Am I completely alone in this trifle?

Thanks,
Tim
 
I’d suggest reframing the issue a little. The concern actually isn’t a woman adjusting her clothing. The concern is how easy it is for you to get distracted.

Since I’m ADD-prone, I find it helpful to when my attention wanders to cling to a single word or phrase in a reading or homily and repeat it over and over in my head. Then I can reflect on it and reign myself back in. Also, it helps me to decide to surrender to the Mass; just letting your spirit get sucked up into the beauty of it can direct your attention to the right place. 🙂

`
 
anon65111186 said:
I like to pay attention to Father or what is going on at the altar, and this for me seems to be an eye catching diversion that is not needed. It leaves me thinking and wanting to say, “how many times do you need to pull your shirt down in the back people? I can’t see your bare back anyhow and you look fine, stop fiddling and just participate in Mass!”
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Perhaps you’ll do better on the front row?

Wherever there are large groups of people standing up from a sitting position it’s pretty typical to see people adjust their clothes. This is certainly not restricted to Catholic gatherings. It also happened often at the Baptist gatherings I grew up attending.

No, it does not bother me. I spend my time in mass looking at my missal, looking at the ambo or altar, or with my eyes closed in prayer.
 
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When we were little kids, my parents always sat us in the first pew or two, just so that there would be nothing in front of us to distract us. It’s a technique I use for my own kids, and it seems to work pretty well.

You might try it yourself, and see if it helps you stay focused?
 
Maybe the church that you are attending is a “sick building” and there is some kind of irritant in the air causing people to itch or something?

Or possibly, the problem is just with you, paying a lot more attention to people adjusting their clothes that you have in the past customarily done? When I broke my arm last year, I really noticed how many other people had orthopedic casts and braces. Something I never noticed before.
 
Salmonslayer said:
I carry and I don’t want to alarm anyone by seeing my gun sticking out after kneeling/standing up etc.
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Interesting, never thought of that one before. Do you work in law enforcement?
blackforest said:
The concern actually isn’t a woman adjusting her clothing. The concern is how easy it is for you to get distracted.
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Subjectively yes, it is about me noticing it, but objectively, I was trying to quantify how many people actually notice this phenomenon, if at all, and whether it is more than other places.
mrsdizzyd said:
Perhaps you’ll do better on the front row?
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I appreciate the suggestion, but in actuality I wasn’t asking for advice on how to resolve this distraction, but whether you notice it. Since you said it doesn’t bother you I’m assuming you have some awareness of what I’m talking about. For us, having kids sometimes makes it difficult to sit up front, because we have to make emergency trips to the crying room or bathroom.
midori said:
You might try it yourself…
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If only that were an options, we have kids.
angel12 said:
Custody of the eyes is a wonderful practice.
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That connotes I am trying or making an effort to look, for me it’s in the range of glaringly hard to not notice peripherally, even if my eyes are straight ahead. Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut though that you don’t notice it.
TheLittleLady said:
Sit on the front pew.
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I will try if we have the option.

It’s not a blameworthy thing unless it’s really a short blouse that could show and you are intentionally trying to distract others. I’m talking about blouses which in no way are in danger of exposing anything, yet they get groomed throughout mass like it was a fashion show 🙂 Anyhow, thanks for your reply.
Thrstypirate said:
It’s because of you staring at them adjusting their clothes.
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So people adjust their clothes because I was looking? Actually, I am not even looking at them, but then someone swings their arms back and is vigorously making their clothes up in the back, and then I look. Their adjustment makes me look, not my looking makes their adjustment. Plus, people are facing forward, not looking back, unless they have eyes in the back of their head. People do it without even knowing someone is behind them.
Augustinian said:
Maybe the church … is a “sick building”
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Could be, but I can’t narrow it down to one building, because I’ve witnessed it at many different churches, even in different states.

Anyhow, thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut on this topic. My wife actually noticed it too, and found it distracting herself. It’s one thing if you see a few times, but when it becomes a predictable pattern, that’s something else entirely.
 
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I had to stop myself laughing recently because a man in front was having a long running battle trying to keep his jeans up. Not helpful but not really his fault.

The least said the better…

😅
 
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anon65111186 said:
That connotes I am trying or making an effort to look, for me it’s in the range of glaringly hard to not notice peripherally, even if my eyes are straight ahead.
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No, not really. But it’s not a magic pill, it does take some effort. Up to you, whether you want to try or not
 
anon65111186 said:
Since you said it doesn’t bother you I’m assuming you have some awareness of what I’m talking about.
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To the extent that I am the one who stands up and pulls down my shirt every time, sure I notice. Can’t say I noticed anyone doing the same at mass today, but again, I was not looking at them. I was focused on the mass and my prayers.
 
I have some practical advice, discipline yourself to stop looking, and then you won’t notice. In time. We work at removing the distractions from our lives when worshipping God.

So push these distractions aside. Get your mind and heart back to the job you have, worshipping God in Mass with the community.

The devil loves distracting us . Don’t give these distractions permission.
 
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Roseeurekacross said:
I have some practical advice, discipline yourself to stop looking, and then you won’t notice. In time. We work at removing the distractions from our lives when worshipping God.

So push these distractions aside. Get your mind and heart back to the job you have, worshipping God in Mass with the community.

The devil loves distracting us . Don’t give these distractions permission.
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Good advice, I will try my best. More so than confessing a vexing spiritual distraction, I was really just trying to survey whether I was the only one (other than my wife) that had this perception too.
 
I once was having a bladder issue and at a movie theater…I had to go to the restroom 4 times. I was embarrassed as everything, and on that Fourth one, a woman behind me said, “if you need to go to the bathroom that many times, you should just stay home!”

I know them playing with their shirt is bothering you, but if you say something, in their mind you’ll be that hurtful guy from mass for years to come in their memory.
 
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I adjust my clothing frequently throughout the day, everyday, no matter where I am. I’m overweight and extremely sensitive to how I may look unkempt or have skin visible that shouldn’t be, etc. There’s plenty for people to judge about my appearance already without me giving them something extra.
 
It happens everywhere. Maybe you don’t notice it other places because there are not rows of people in front of you.
 
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The only thing I can think of is for you to sit in the first pew. That way, you won’t have to see anyone adjusting anything.

I usually sit in the back with my family unless I’m by myself. I try not to pay attention to what anyone else is doing but to focus on Father and the Readings.
 
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