Do you notice this at Mass?

  • Thread starter Thread starter anon65111186
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Thrstypirate said:
I know them playing with their shirt is bothering you, but if you say something, in their mind you’ll be that hurtful guy from mass for years to come in their memory.
Click to expand...
I haven’t said anything… yet 🙂 As I mentioned before, it is a trifle, but I was curious if I was alone in my perception.
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
I adjust my clothing frequently throughout the day, everyday, no matter where I am. I’m overweight and extremely sensitive to how I may look unkempt or have skin visible that shouldn’t be, etc. There’s plenty for people to judge about my appearance already without me giving them something extra.
Click to expand...
It seems you have a good reason to adjust your clothing, but what I perceive is what might be called an unjustified and persistent adjustment throughout mass. When everything looks fine and doesn’t need any touching whatsoever, yet obsessively playing with their clothing.
 
I’m participating in the Liturgy so I don’t notice to the point of distraction what the folks in front of me are doing.
 
Last edited:
lilypadrees said:
I usually sit in the back with my family unless I’m by myself. I try not to pay attention to what anyone else is doing but to focus on Father and the Readings.
Click to expand...
Right, it’s hard for me to not pay attention to others in front of me, but I will have to work on that. On the other extreme, I can’t entirely pretend like they don’t exist either. Which is what it seems a lot of the posters here seem to be able to do.

I guess it’s a balance between paying attention to others when appropriate, and all other times just pay attention to prayers, singing and the priest, readers, deacons etc and the readings and homily etc.
 
I’ll say that another issue is the way women’s clothing are manufactured.

It can be really, really hard to find pants that aren’t too low, shirts that aren’t too cropped or low-cut, etc. Or we constantly have to check back to make sure that our skirts didn’t get tucked back into our underwear or tights after we used the restroom.

Maybe we’ve lost weight, can’t break away kid-free to a store fitting room, and just deal with pants that creep down all the time. Maybe we’ve gained weight and keep fussing with the zipper or shifting positions because the tight pants are uncomfortable

And don’t even get me started about breastfeeding. I was constantly adjusting and readjusting the nursing bra, camisole, and over-shirt to make sure that everything was fastened when I was done.

Do you know what? Given all of these hassles we face, it would actually help if people would STOP gawking at us and focus on the Mass at hand.
 
To answer the original question: no, I do not notice this. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, only that I don’t notice it. In fact, during Mass it’s rare for me to notice anything that’s happening outside the sanctuary. This morning I almost crushed a small child who had wandered away from her parents. She stood right next to me for who knows how long, and I didn’t even know she was there. 😬
 
blackforest said:
Do you know what? Given all of these hassles we face, it would actually help if people would STOP gawking at us and focus on the Mass at hand.
Click to expand...
I understand what you are saying, and not saying you in particular do this, but I think you could understand that a person swinging their arms back, pulling down on their shirt every few minutes has the potential to cause “gawking” at least for a second or two.
 
Holding kids makes my neckline stretch and move around. I adjust it. Going from standing to kneeling can result in my dress or skirt gathering and resting on the pew behind me instead of hanging properly. I adjust it. My fluctuatingly fat mom body makes clothes fit differently every time I wear them. Sometimes I regret the movement of what I wore and adjust often, telling myself don’t go out in this one again.

I’m not watching for other people to do it and I’m not bothered if I notice. Sometimes it just makes me grateful that I hit the lottery in getting dressed that morning and its not me.
 
blackforest said:
I would then reiterate that the burden is on the gawker to un-gawk as quickly as possible
Click to expand...
Agreed 🙂 What if, like in my experience it is more than one person, doing it more than just a few times than is necessary in one Mass? What burden is on them?

For me, it would be distracting to myself to keep adjusting my clothes and focusing on my clothes. Where is their attention if not on their appearance during Mass?
 
anon65111186 said:
For me, it would be distracting to myself to keep adjusting my clothes and focusing on my clothes. Where is their attention if not on their appearance during Mass?
Click to expand...
Think of it more like scratching an itch than worrying about your appearance. If its not sitting right, you feel it. For some its so habitual it’s practically a tick. I doubt they are thinking about who is looking at them.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
Think of it more like scratching an itch than worrying about your appearance. If its not sitting right, you feel it. For some its so habitual it’s practically a tick. I doubt they are thinking about who is looking at them.
Click to expand...
Good point, never thought of that. Boy, I am going to approach Mass in a whole new way after this thread! 😄
 
anon65111186 said:
What if, like in my experience it is more than one person, doing it more than just a few times than is necessary in one Mass? What burden is on them?
Click to expand...
To go home and change their clothes . . . ?
anon65111186 said:
For me, it would be distracting to myself to keep adjusting my clothes and focusing on my clothes. Where is their attention if not on their appearance during Mass?
Click to expand...
My first inclination is to suggest that the matter is between them and God.

But to avoid completely dodging your question, I’ll say that there’s no need to assume that they aren’t multi-tasking - adjusting bra straps and the like while still absorbing the homily. I take my knitting projects to lectures, workshops, and even adoration.
 
I pull my top down, I fix a bra strap. I also keep my eyes closed for portions of the mass because there’s a little girl who has crazy pigtails that I think is adorable, or there’s a little guy who is underneath the pew looking at me. In a church full of people there are distractions and then the conversation you are having in your head about the distraction is yours to shut down. Shut down the noise going on in your head. Close your eyes and focus on the words being said.
 
Loosely related to this topic. Sometimes many terrible forces in the universe align such that loose pants/skirt/dress fabric gets trapped in someone’s buttcrack. I suspect there are a few colloquial expressions for this phenomenon, I just don’t know them. Those people should discreetly adjust as needed and the rest of us should avoid starting at butts.
 
DeniseNY said:
I think the question to ask is “where is my attention during Liturgy”?
Click to expand...
For me, as I already established, on the person moving around conspicuously in front of me 🙂 But your rhetorical question is well taken, I should ignore the clothes adjusting as much as possible.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top