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Roseeurekacross
Guest
No he probably did not, unless they are homeless and are in need of clothing.
This is for Contemplative Prayer, and its a great tool to get rid of distractions.
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This is for Contemplative Prayer, and its a great tool to get rid of distractions.
blackforest
Well-known member
I also heard the Franciscan advise to pray away the distraction and then move on with your prayer and meditation. If you hear a siren outside, pray. If you hear a baby cry, pray for the parents. A parishioner or fellow Eucharistic adorer coughs, and you pray they feel better . . . etc.
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PetraG
Guest
At how many other gatherings are people repeatedly standing, sitting, kneeling, etc?
When people stand up after having been sitting or want their Sunday best to actually look their best, they often pull their clothing back in place.
Even on Star Trek…
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Marie16
Guest
I do this…
I do not do such because I feel as if I’m at a fashion show however. I always worry if someone does notice it they might think such which only worsens the situation.
Honestly large group settings such as at mass tend to make me pretty anxious so I fidget. It’s a nervous habit. I catch myself doing it at time without ever putting conscious thought into it.
I am also afraid with all the changes in position something might get out of place. I’ve had a shirt get caught on the bottom of the pew seat before and get tucked up and couldn’t feel it was messed up until I saw it. I don’t want to be indecent during mass either.
I know it may seem like a distraction to you but speaking from my own experience I highly doubt that’s the intention of people who do this. I could be wrong.
I do not do such because I feel as if I’m at a fashion show however. I always worry if someone does notice it they might think such which only worsens the situation.
Honestly large group settings such as at mass tend to make me pretty anxious so I fidget. It’s a nervous habit. I catch myself doing it at time without ever putting conscious thought into it.
I am also afraid with all the changes in position something might get out of place. I’ve had a shirt get caught on the bottom of the pew seat before and get tucked up and couldn’t feel it was messed up until I saw it. I don’t want to be indecent during mass either.
I know it may seem like a distraction to you but speaking from my own experience I highly doubt that’s the intention of people who do this. I could be wrong.
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woolycaterpillar
Guest
Adjusting clothing is sometimes just a habit, like making sure the tags aren’t stuck out in back. I also once had a spider crawling up my sleeve. He was OK with it, but the lady in back of me brushed him off,
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PetraG
Guest
Either you’re leaving your clothing out of whack, which bothers someone, or you’re adjusting it into place, which apparently also bothers someone. You can’t win.
I think it ought to be assumed that if someone is adjusting their clothing, it is because it is making them uncomfortable. Yes, I have seen people adjust their clothing. No, I would not call it “vigorous,” unless maybe you call it “vigorous” when the bride’s train is spread out by a bridesmaid. I wouldn’t even call that distracting, because let’s face it, if the bride is standing front and center with her train rolled under on one edge, it is going to bother someone who can see it for the whole wedding. At least the bridesmaid is done in a matter of seconds and it’s over.
Look at it this way: If someone adjusts their clothing, it bothers you for probably less than 10 seconds, plus whatever CPU time you dedicate to obsessing about why it needed to be done, which is quite out of the hands of the person who adjusted their clothing. If they leave it unadjusted, however, the person who is bothered by clothing that is all rumpled up and out of place is going to be longing to fix it for the entire Mass.
Once clothing slips out of place, one of the two kind of souls who obsesses about what other people look like are going to be obsessing about other people, either way. Unless someone has her skirt tucked into her pantyhose and doesn’t realize it, I’d say that is pretty much on the person who has an unfortunate obsession with other people.
I’ve sat behind two women who literally whispered to each other through the entire Mass, non-stop. It upset me so much that I said something to them after Mass about it. I always regretted that, because I was still upset when I said something, and they were both clearly mortified. I totally embarrassed them.
If people could read minds, OP, you’d wish you had chosen to cover the faults and eccentricities of others in charity and long-suffering. I suppose this is why “bearing wrongs” is considered a spiritual act of mercy. While this doesn’t really fall into the category of a “wrong,” I think it can be safely said that deliberately choosing to overlook the faults and eccentricities of others is something we will want on our ledges come Judgment Day, don’t you? Seek after the greater gifts by seeking to use this irritation as an opportunity to put up a store of litle mercies in your ledger. We can’t tell, but based on the Beautitudes, I think little things like that compounded over a lifetime could turn out to a real store of merit.
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PetraG
Guest
You have raised this, though: it is good to be aware that the way to deal with clothing that is out of place is to fix it once as discretely as we can and then be done with it. One never knows who one might be distracting by fussing over a problem more than necessary. Fix it once, if you feel you need to, but remember that the whole church is a stage. The less done that distracts from the true focus, the better.
This is what altar servers have to learn, after all: be as discrete as possible about fixing mistakes, lest your attempt at a “fix” prove more distracting than the mistake itself would have been if left alone. That is not a bad reminder!! Having said that, we also do well to dwell on the mistakes that anyone makes as little as possible, even if it is the priest or the altar servers making them.
This is what altar servers have to learn, after all: be as discrete as possible about fixing mistakes, lest your attempt at a “fix” prove more distracting than the mistake itself would have been if left alone. That is not a bad reminder!! Having said that, we also do well to dwell on the mistakes that anyone makes as little as possible, even if it is the priest or the altar servers making them.
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LoveMercyGrace
Guest
I have not noticed others in front of me adjusting their clothing, of course they could be and I just don’t notice.
maybe it is because I am noticing the woman in front of me or sometimes a few pews in front, so often turning around to see others behind her. and it could be at any time during the Mass. a momentary distraction for me for sure.
maybe it is because I am noticing the woman in front of me or sometimes a few pews in front, so often turning around to see others behind her. and it could be at any time during the Mass. a momentary distraction for me for sure.
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Mtdobbs
Guest
I enjoy the distractions at Mass that come in the form of a little one running up the aisle to greet Father during his homily as the child’s mother frantically chases her with a mortified look on her face. This makes me smile.
As for the readjusting of clothing, there could be a few explanations. Some people want to make sure their clothing is covering their lower backs so they pull their shirt down, out of modesty.
Some people could just be doing it subconsciously or as a compulsion.
Some clothing becomes uncomfortable and needs to be readjusted. I have a nerve sensitivity disorder, where I feel pain when I shouldnt and which makes clothing feel awful on my body sometimes to the point of being painful. I can’t wear coats when I drive. Some cold days I can’t wear a hat etc.
As people have suggested, if you are easily distracted, you could always try sitting in the front row or two. This would help you if you struggle with distractions.
“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head
but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair”
As for the readjusting of clothing, there could be a few explanations. Some people want to make sure their clothing is covering their lower backs so they pull their shirt down, out of modesty.
Some people could just be doing it subconsciously or as a compulsion.
Some clothing becomes uncomfortable and needs to be readjusted. I have a nerve sensitivity disorder, where I feel pain when I shouldnt and which makes clothing feel awful on my body sometimes to the point of being painful. I can’t wear coats when I drive. Some cold days I can’t wear a hat etc.
As people have suggested, if you are easily distracted, you could always try sitting in the front row or two. This would help you if you struggle with distractions.
“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head
but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair”
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Allegra
Guest
The church is not a stage. I don’t know why people think it is. The church is a place for people to go to pray the Mass. That’s it. It’s not a place to show off your best clothes. It’s not a place to look perfect. It’s not a place where one has to turn blue from trying to hold a sneeze. It’s human beings gathering together to pray. If you think you are on a stage at Mass, you are probably just as off-track as the people who go to Mass thinking they are supposed to stare at other people and take their inventory. Ya’ll need Ritalin or something. Someone pulling their shirt down is not “distracting you”. You are making the conscious choice to pay attention to what they are doing instead of what you are supposed to be doing. Don’t blame your choice not to control yourself on them.
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anon65111186
Guest
So I have no right to my opinion or perception? If it looks fine and neat, isn’t that what someone is going for? If it is uncomfortable, that’s another issue, but many people wearing uncomfortable clothes? Just change your clothes then?
I’m not noticing every person, just that some people do constantly adjust their clothes, if you had my experience you would know what I’m talking about instead of judging me obsessive. I didn’t say I would tell them to stop, and yes it is my problem to figure out. I was just asking others what they think.
Now, it’s not any of your business to tell me what to do either, if you want to be consistent with your own advice.
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anon65111186
Guest
I’m just trying to approach this scientifically, to gather data from others to confirm or disprove that this phenomena exists, and to what degree. Basically, if others notice it, and what their attitude is towards that. It is just a trifle as I had mentioned anyhow. Not meant to be so practical, as many have given practical advice when I was just looking for other’s experience.
Good advice though anyhow, and believe it or not I already use the strategies you and others have suggested, so it’s a mute point on practice.
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anon65111186
Guest
Okay, so if someone is constantly fiddling in front of you every minute, putting their hands behind their back and moving their hands all around within feet of you, you don’t notice it? Noticing it is the distraction itself How could you say it is not “distracting” when I have reported to you that it is? Are you me?
The act of seeing someone fidget doesn’t put blame on me, in which world could that be true? I can’t block parts of my field of vision, even through focus I can see in my periphery moving objects. Our eyes naturally pick up moving things over things that are still. If someone is constantly fidgeting the eyes naturally pick it up, I would literally be dumb if I didn’t pick up motion right in front of my face.
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Allegra
Guest
You have complete control of your eye and neck muscles. If something is visually distracting you, look at something else. It’s really not that hard. Most functioning people do it constantly every day. When you rear end someone on the highway, you can’t blame it on the squirrel you were staring at on the side of the road. You are responsible for keeping your eyes and your attention on what you are supposed to be attending to. Not only did you not choose to pay attention to Mass, you sat in there trying to put the blame for your lack of focus on someone else who wasn’t doing anything other than (gasp!) moving their hands and tugging on their own clothing. Several days later, you are still on about it. What was the homily about? How did the readings relate to your life? What was Jesus trying to tell you? Focus on those things instead of other people’s hands. You really do have control of this, if you choose to.
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anon65111186
Guest
Wow, talk about a homily
As I already stated, I am conducting research in a way, to see if this is a common phenomena, and I am simply giving others the courtesy by replying to their comments, I am not “on about it”.I am not referring to once it is seen, what should I do about it, which most people think I’m saying. But the very fact that I perceive it. What I do about is that I do move my eyes and get back on track with the Mass etc. AS I have already stated if you read earlier. Thanks anyhow for preaching.
Did I blame someone? Please quote me on where I blamed someone, because I don’t believe I have.
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Allegra
Guest
Your entire original post was nothing but a criticism of this random lady for daring to “distract you”, but adjusting her blouse. You absolutely were blaming her for your lack of focus. “Research” is a pretty fancy term for “venting”. Here you go though. Yes, pretty much everyone adjusts their clothing from time to time. No, it’s not a “Catholic thing”. It’s a normal human thing. Yes, you are the only one who notices it. No. No one else cares about it.
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anon65111186
Guest
Okay, fair enough that you take that as I blamed her for my lack of focus, because I used the word “distracting” my intention was to give an example as what I saw as a common thing, not publicly blame someone or “vent”.
Perhaps you are projecting your own feelings on me, so maybe what you said was more true of you, that you are venting and blaming others.
Wow, way to blame someone for trying to be scientific in their thinking. Let me ask you, do you like science? And no, I am not implying anything and it is not rhetorical, serious question.
Straw man, that wasn’t my position. I didn’t say everyone adjusting their clothing from time to time was what I saw, but that people seemed to adjust more in Church settings, which you clearly did not understand from my remarks.
The claim that “I am the only one who notices” it is clearly false, if you read the whole thread and saw the replies. People caring or not caring is not at issue, if you don’t care, kindly remove yourself from this discussion, you came here on your own free will. Be respectful please.
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Allegra
Guest
Nice try. If you want to spend your time on earth obsessing over other people doing things like adjusting their clothes, you go right ahead. I think it’s completely ridiculous, but it’s your life. And as a matter of fact, I do like science, but you are flattering yourself here by claiming that your asking people to join in with your annoyance at this lady’s blouse tugging is “scientific research”. First of all, you haven’t even settled on a specific question or inquiry. You keep switching what you are asking based on what people answer. If you want to know how many people adjust their clothes in church compared to other places, you would have to stand in the back of several places and count how many people touch their clothes. You couldn’t scientifically count on the recollections of people who are consciously trying to pay attention to something else. If your question was how many people notice clothing adjustments being made in Mass, you would still have to observe how many actual clothing tuggings there were in order to create a ratio of how many people noticed it compared to how many times it objectively happened. At that point, you would then have to survey the people who did notice to determine their thoughts on how distracting they felt it was, because even in the short amount of time until the end of Mass, the vast majority of people who may have temporarily noticed someone pulling at their clothes would have dismissed that thought and memory because it isn’t very important and they are trying to pay attention to something else. At any rate, all of this would be a complete waste of your time because other people pulling at their clothes is none of your business and completely outside of your sphere of control.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Well, you have made my point then. It is none of your business. Sorry if saying so offends you though.
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Allegra
Guest
PS- Here is a scientific count of what people have said regarding whether or not they are distracted by people making clothing adjustments.
Didn’t really say whether they found it distracting, but commented on ways you could help yourself pay attention or offered reasons for why a person might be adjusting their clothes, implying that it wasn’t really a big issue, even if they did notice it.- 15
Specifically said they are not distracted by it- 5
Are distracted by it- 3- one is you, the other is the guy who goes to church with Batman (I think he might have been just a little sarcastic) and the third guy saw a man whose jeans actually fell off.
So, pretty much just you.
Didn’t really say whether they found it distracting, but commented on ways you could help yourself pay attention or offered reasons for why a person might be adjusting their clothes, implying that it wasn’t really a big issue, even if they did notice it.- 15
Specifically said they are not distracted by it- 5
Are distracted by it- 3- one is you, the other is the guy who goes to church with Batman (I think he might have been just a little sarcastic) and the third guy saw a man whose jeans actually fell off.
So, pretty much just you.
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