Do you pick the person you are going to marry

[jmcrae]

Well - and there’s always the part where, once you get married, you make a determined and conscious effort to become the person that your partner needs, and hopefully, they’re doing the same thing.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Both. God has a spouse in mind for us, but we have to use the free will he gave us to decide for ourselves who we marry.

I firmly believe that God put my husband and I together. There are way too many things that happened to get us in the same place at the same time. I’m just glad I paid attention.

This is how I view things as well. My wife and I had a long talk about this several weeks ago and I pointed out to her some of the things in my life that, looking back on them, seem to have clearly been put in my path to prepare me for my life with her. Looking back on her life, she can point to similar things. For each of us these are mostly struggles that we each had great difficulty with (both on our own and together). As difficult as they were to go through, the tempered and prepared us for things we’d face later in life, or helped put us in the state of mind we needed to be in when we met one another. Even during the period when we lost track of one another, looking back it’s clear how every step we took was simply another step back together.

I think God has someone in mind for each of us and if we’re lucky enough to follow His lead we’ll have the opportunity to make that choice on our own.

 

[jrabs]

I chose the first time and did a most horrible job. God then had to work several years to undo the knots and tangles of my decision.

As an obedient child, I decided to let God pick for me…and through CAF, He found me an absolutely wonderful spouse. When God picks, man what a joyful difference it makes.

Our house is peaceful, our disagreements are respectful and do not get elevated, our faith is doubled. ahhhhh God is great.

May you take the time to stop and clearly listen.

 

[roselily]

You are found a wonderful spouse through CAF?

Is it true, quite true?

Why do you or others found love through CAF not write about all that, jrabs? That I do think we will be very, very glad to see that; and praise our Lord Jesus Christ, and pray for you and your beloved happy eternal; but nobody here has thoughts like these-that to start a thread or write their found love and beloved through CAF, like these?

God pick a wonderful spouse for you !

May God bless you and your beloved,
May God bless CAF !

 

[Norseman82]

God has a spouse in mind for us, but we have to use the free will he gave us to decide for ourselves who we marry.

Doesn’t God have a plan for our lives? If we live according to it, we’ll be led the direction we’re supposed to go!

I think God has someone in mind for each of us and if we’re lucky enough to follow His lead we’ll have the opportunity to make that choice on our own.

What Church teaching are the above based on?

 

[Norseman82]

I chose the first time and did a most horrible job. God then had to work several years to undo the knots and tangles of my decision.

As an obedient child, I decided to let God pick for me…and through CAF, He found me an absolutely wonderful spouse. When God picks, man what a joyful difference it makes.

Our house is peaceful, our disagreements are respectful and do not get elevated, our faith is doubled. ahhhhh God is great.

May you take the time to stop and clearly listen.

Please do not take this as an insult, but as something designed to make one think:

Just how does one know that a person is “God’s choice”?

And what if this marriage somehow does not work out? Are you then going to say “I thought God chose, but it turned out to be me choosing again” on this one too? Lather, rinse, repeat? How often will the cycle continue?

Or, rather, is it that we simply choose wrong, as liberanosamalo implies in her post:

Some people ignore perfectly wonderful people and chase unsuitable mates based on temporary or stupid qualities and end up with problems.

You also have to live as someone who would be considered desirable to someone else who is using God’s standards to choose a spouse.

Also, reference this thread in which a practicing Catholic is ignoring her head and falling for an agnostic:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=370709

Are people THAT INCAPABLE of making a wise choice using God’s standards?

 

[stbruno]

One chooses a spouse the way one chooses a vocation – through prayerful discernment. One discerns whether one is called to marriage, and one discerns whether THIS is the person through whom one is called to marriage.

Part of the discernment involves practicalities – just as for Priesthood or Religious life: Do I have the necessary natural gifts that dispose me to this form of life? Am I open to the graces that would enable me to live this form of life?

I have to agree with this poster…marriage is a vocation. A calling from God that you cannot force. Prayer is the way to discern it. And through prayer we can then recognize God’s hand in our decision to marry or not, or whom to marry or not.

 

[Norseman82]

I have to agree with this poster…marriage is a vocation. A calling from God that you cannot force. Prayer is the way to discern it. And through prayer we can then recognize God’s hand in our decision to marry or not, or whom to marry or not.

The Church also teaches that the vocation to marriage was written into our very nature (CCC 1603). If there is such a thing as a “default vocation”, this tells me that marriage is it.

 

[chevalier]

The answer is: not enough data.

One can never make an argument as if God didn’t care. God cares for us in our daily needs (“give us this day our daily bread,” comes to mind), so much more in choosing a spouse for a lifetime (or at least hopefully). But I don’t see any convincing evidence to force conclusion that the choice of spouse isn’t left to our own mortal judgement.

 

[Norseman82]

The answer is: not enough data.

Leave it to Chev!

Maybe this is a case where we need to remember the old saying “work as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God”.

 

[magic_stick]

I was discussing with a friend. I was saying, “you choose the woman you’re gonna marry and you should love her.” He said, “no, God chooses the one who you’re gonna marry”

I am troubled by this question. Does God choose your spouse?

God gives free will to man so I would say you would choose who you would want to marry.

 

[nevadagardener]

I picked my husband and he picked me. We are finite and can only do the best we can to try and discern the infinite will of God.

God may have led us together. Then again, God may have wanted something different for one or both of us. We may have misunderstood His will completely. Was my husband ‘the one’ God had chosen for me from all eternity? I can’t say for certain. We talked to priests and included our close family and friends in the discernment. We prayed and shared and thought things through. We tried to make the best decision in faith, but who can claim to know the mind of God?

Regardless of what God’s original plan for us was, this is His plan for us now. It is our vocation. Through His Church, God permitted it, blessed it and made it holy. He even raised it to the level of a Sacrament. I see my husband and our marriage as a pure gift from God. But it was a gift I could accept or refuse. I could have chosen a different gift. But I am so completely happy I choose the one I did.

Honestly, loved, that is beautiful.

I know you know how blessed you are.

Hands down, the best answer, the most thoughtful conclusion, the most respectful and loving to each other and to God. Congratulations and best wishes for a happy life together and with God in your marriage!

 

[wcknight]

I prayed to meet someone special. I/we fell in love, almost love at first sight. IF God had intended me to marry anyone else, He would have (or should have) had us meet BEFORE we actually did, and I would have fell in love with that other person.

God let us meet and I agree with His choice. I had a couple of dates before (with others) and so did my DW, but those didn’t work out. I don’t believe things would have turned out as well with any of the others.

 

[kcmekim]

I was discussing with a friend. I was saying, “you choose the woman you’re gonna marry and you should love her.” He said, “no, God chooses the one who you’re gonna marry”

I am troubled by this question. Does God choose your spouse?

God has foreknowledge, but we do the actual choosing.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Dumbseeker, the one does not preclude the other. You can choose what God chose and you can choose what God didn’t choose. God would not pick your spouse in a sense negating your free will. Lord Jesus chose the Apostles, but they all chose to follow Him. That’s how it works. And I am not sure to what extent vocation to marriage includes a specific person whom to marry. This is not to say God doesn’t care, but I’m still not convinced there’s a plan involving you or me marrying this or that person and not a different one.

At any rate, there is always your choice in marrying someone. Even if it were a, “yes, Lord,” or, “no, Lord,” choice, you’d still be choosing. You wouldn’t be picking the person, strictly speaking, but you’d be choosing whether to marry that person or not.

Maybe SENT is a better word.

 

[whatevergirl]

*You know, I don’t know. I prayed back in college for God to please place me in the path of a potential spouse…someone who would love me unconditionally…and me, him. A few weeks later, I met my husband. However, God has a sense of humor…we didn’t really start dating right away. My husband was ready to settle down, but I wasn’t…we parted ways for a short time, but I really missed him, and felt ‘he was the one.’ The one that God put in my path, like my prayer to Him. I don’t like the term ‘soulmate,’ and so forth. I do believe in the power of prayer, and asking God to help you discern.

I really think God picked my husband though…he was way too logical, responsible, and down to earth for me to have picked him myself, back then. I dated a slew of ‘bad boys,’ my husband was a breath of fresh air…and has been for 18 years. :heart:This is why I believe God played a huge part in bringing my husband and me together…because I really wasn’t a good judge of character, all on my own back then. *

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

I’m a little worried about Adam… whether he had enough “choice”…

But, OTOH, God made it reeeeally simple for him to pick the right spouse!


(you know, the one that would feed him with the apple )

 

[roselily]

I’m a little worried about Adam… whether he had enough “choice”…

But, OTOH, God made it reeeeally simple for him to pick the right spouse!


(you know, the one that would feed him with the apple )

I feel how happy they might be!
In a heaven like beautiful garden, just love and beloved.
youtube.com/watch?v=J7E_6vuQxdY&feature=related

 

[roselily]

I’m a little worried about Adam… whether he had enough “choice”…

But, OTOH, God made it reeeeally simple for him to pick the right spouse!


(you know, the one that would feed him with the apple )

Why should she ate the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden God said not eat or touch it?
Why she also gave her husband ate it?

That God said they may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but not that one.

Why she not only just eat apple and feed Adam with apples?
O Christ, aid! O Christ, save !

 

[roselily]

Why should she ate the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden God said not eat or touch it?
Why she also gave her husband ate it?

That God said they may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but not that one.

Why she not only just eat apple and feed Adam with apples?
O Christ, aid! O Christ, save !

I was just preparing to sleep, but first I will correct my post with that I just learned that after 20 minutes past I can edit my early post by quote my early post , : I mean she and her husband can eat apples and other fruits in the beautiful garden, like pomegranate, grapes, strawberry, blueberry…Oh, I know blueberries are very, very good for health:
There is blueberry in that garden, is it?

whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=8

but , All will be well, We Christians know, through Christ, what is done and what will be done, that we will have eternal life , and promises happiness inexhaustible.

heaven is a beautiful radiant jeweled castle in the clouds and the home of Jesus Christ Himself, "It has the glory of God and a radiance like a very rare jewel, …"and will come to earth become our home also.:angel1::heaven: