Do you pray with your spouse?

[jmcrae]

No, we don’t normally pray together. I would have liked very much to have had the custom of family prayer in our marriage, but he doesn’t even understand what I’m talking about when I mention it - to him, prayer is something that is done internally - I don’t think he has ever prayed out loud in his whole life.

I have gotten him to do the readings for our Advent candles during Advent, but that’s as close as we’ve ever gotten to a family prayer time.

 

[SueKrum]

I put occationally, but we actually pray together at each meal, but I kind of figured that that’s not what the OP was asking. my husband gets very nervous praying out loud. I want us to pray together every night before bed, but it always ends up just being me and than him saying, “ditto to everything you said.” so I just haven’t asked him to do it much lately. I wish I could get him to lead us in prayer every night.

 

[lotusblossom]

I put occationally, but we actually pray together at each meal, but I kind of figured that that’s not what the OP was asking. my husband gets very nervous praying out loud. I want us to pray together every night before bed, but it always ends up just being me and than him saying, “ditto to everything you said.” so I just haven’t asked him to do it much lately. I wish I could get him to lead us in prayer every night.

SueKrum,

My husband is kind of the same way, which is why we pray the more “formal” prayers (Our Father, Morning Offering - where the words are always the same) along with praying in thanksgiving and for petitions in our own words. Also, there are somedays when I’m just in a rotten mood or something and I ask him to do it instead, that way it’s always just one of us. He is a more internal faith kind of guy and I’m more outward about it. My parents were the same way (my dad prefers the Latin Mass and my mom was involved in the Charismatic Renewal) and my mom has mentioned how sometimes she wonders if my dad has any faith. She always had to be the one for years to initiate praying the rosary as a family and my dad wouldn’t be too terribly vocal about encouraging it. However, 5 years later, he initiates it sometimes. My own husband generally isn’t the one to pipe up, but I’ve vocalized to him that it does help when he does suggest it sometimes, so he makes the effort. I don’t know if that helps at all.

 

[wcknight]

It’s something that I wished that we had gotten into. Unfortunately I was a lapsed Catholic for about the first 10 years of our marriage. My DW is not Catholic. She used to be non-denominational Christian, but even that was on a very informal basis. I think she used to go to church for the social life, but not much else.

 

[Pani_Rose]

We have been married for 37 years and praying together had been a struggle - yes even deacons and their wives struggle However, some years ago we settled on the Paraclisis - A prayer of supplication to the Most Holy Theotokos, and our family loves it. this is a beautiful prayer of the Eastern Church, it may seem a bit long, but such a blessing and with it comes great peace, power, and results However, the more you pray it, the shorter it becomes.

Scroll towards the bottom of the prayers and you will see it
agapeicons.com/site/1286684/page/817017
http://www.agapeicons.com/images/si...l.color=EFF0DE&border.dropshadow.color=282418

 

[Pani_Rose]

We usually say grace together when both of us are home for supper. It has never gone beyond that, much to my dismay. I wish we all would pray togther as a family. I really think that it would help us grow as a family. My girls and I are beginning to pray together more often. I would love any suggestions from anyone on how to approach my husband on this. He usually just ridicules me for my faith.

Dear Mommyof4,

May I reccomend these prayers…

************ JESUS PRAYER**********
**
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

    ** **                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        **PRAYER FOR PROTECTION ****
                       **

“Dear Lord Jesus, please surround me (family/friends/or the particular person that you are praying for) with a perimeter of Your Love and Protection throughout the day today and everyday a hundred yards in all directions. Lord Jesus, render any demons that are there, or should try to come, deaf, dumb, and blind. Strip them of all weapons, illusions, armor, power, and authority. Disable them from communicating or interacting in any way. Bind, sever, and separate them, sending them directly to the foot of Your Cross without manifestation or harm to be dealt with by you Jesus. May Your Precious Blood cover me, the Holy Spirit fill me, Mary’s mantle of love and protection surround me, St. Joseph guide me, the Holy Angels and Saints guard and protect me from all unfortunate events. Protect me from fire, theft, flood, storms, ailments, and accidents of every sort, distress, hardship, curse, and all untoward things. I ask all this in your Name Lord Jesus and I thank and praise you. I love you. Alleluia. Amen!”

    ** **                                                                                        **PRAYER FOR THOSE MARRIED****
                       **

Lord, my God, have mercy on ________ and me. Grant that we may perceive that the married state is holy and that we must keep it so. Grant that no strife, quarrel, or enmity may arise between us or hereafter become active among us. Grant us our Daily Bread whereby we may ever serve You with a quiet mind and deepen our Communion with You and with each other. Let us finally attain to Your Kingdom and have You recognize us as Your own. For to You are due all glory, honor, and worship, together with Your Father Who is from everlasting, and Your All-Holy, Good, and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and forever. AMEN. ****

 

[Teakafrog]

We have family prayer time nightly (or at least try to ) with our son. We usually recite some prayers, or the divine mercy chaplet, once in a while the rosary, and add petitions as the need arises. And of course grace before meals, and weekly if not more often family mass.

 

[Lissla_Lissar]

We pray grace every day, if we’re both home for meals together, and pray together outside of mealtimes a couple of times a week. For the first year of marriage, we read the New Testament together every night, and prayed together. After that our schedules got haywire and we rarely went to bed at the same times.

We remind each other about prayers and ask for prayer several times a week. “Darling, could you pray for so-and-so? They’re having a hard time right now”, etc.

 

[BeeSweet]

I voted “No - I don’t know how”

I tried once. I wrote down a nice prayer I found here on this forum, and I asked him to read it in bed one night. He very sweetly obliged. I haven’t had the nerve to ask him again. I don’t want him to ridicule me, and above all I don’t want him to ridicule prayer, and I fear my insistance on praying together at night may annoy him, and lead to his eventual ridicule of the practice. I’m trying to think of a way to start it up with him again. I’ve taken to praying before our meals together, but only if our son is present. And I do it in a very light hearted manner, I don’t use the usual Catholic blessing that begins, “Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts…” I usually ramble off, “God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food, Amen!” and I do it with a big smile like it’s fun to pray! Ugh. It’s not how I feel, I am much more reverent than this, but I want my husband to be included so much (I’d prefer that he lead!), and I feel if I approch it in this lighthearted manner, eventually he won’t be afraid of prayer. I could be totally wrong on that though, my attitude could completely backfire. He’s caught in a tough spot where he’s not sure there’s anyone there to pray to. Not that he doesn’t believe in God, he would not say that, and does not want to believe that. He just doesn’t believe his prayers have anywhere to go, and is deathly afraid of being labled a religious fanatic. He’s tounge tied whenever I ask him to say a blessing, he simply does not know what to say, so of course if he doesn’t know what to say, it’s certainly not worth saying (kinda like me in school when I had a tough time in math, and so I thought math was stupid… yeah right, it’s the math that was stupid, not the girl…). I know that he’s very lonely spiritually. I pray for his conversion every day. I’m lonely too, I’m very thankful to God for him, I’d love to pray with him.

So, for those of you here who are so blessed as to have a spouse with whom you can pray, please remember couples like myself and my husband in your prayers. Please pray for the strengthening of all Christian marriages through an openess to prayer in their marriages. May God bless yours too!

 

[yessisan]

I’m kind of a newly wed (I married 8 mos. ago) and my DH and I pray together often before we go to bed, even though he’s a JW and I’m a Catholic. We also pray before meals… it’s a great thing to share. God must be present in your marriage, it makes it stronger and happier.

 

[lizaanne]

So, for those of you here who are so blessed as to have a spouse with whom you can pray, please remember couples like myself and my husband in your prayers. Please pray for the strengthening of all Christian marriages through an openess to prayer in their marriages. May God bless yours too!

Absolutely! I’ll keep you in our prayers.

Try the Our Father and nothing else. It’s simple, most people know it by heart, and it is the essence of what prayer should be. It’s not usually intimidating like some of the more “Catholic” prayers might be for him.

I think that if you tell him that you would like to take grace time a little more seriously, he might take your need/desire to pray more seriously as well. Just something like - “you know, -our son’s name- is getting a little older, and I think it might be a good idea to start being a bit more serious about saying grace so he learns that we really are grateful for all the wonderful things we have in our life together.” And see how it goes. You might be surprised - and it might help him to realize that if you take it seriously, there may actually be something to it after all.

Be brave as the saints were brave! He can’t ridicule you for something you truly believe and feel strongly about, but he may have something to say about being wishy-washy - not that you are, but if you give that impression he has a reason to be skeptical.

May God bless you and your husband with the gift of prayer.

~Liza

 

[Shy_Violet]

I pray with my husband several times a week but not every day because sometimes he is so busy with work that I don’t see him.

 

[BeeSweet]

Absolutely! I’ll keep you in our prayers.

Try the Our Father and nothing else. It’s simple, most people know it by heart, and it is the essence of what prayer should be. It’s not usually intimidating like some of the more “Catholic” prayers might be for him.

I think that if you tell him that you would like to take grace time a little more seriously, he might take your need/desire to pray more seriously as well. Just something like - “you know, -our son’s name- is getting a little older, and I think it might be a good idea to start being a bit more serious about saying grace so he learns that we really are grateful for all the wonderful things we have in our life together.” And see how it goes. You might be surprised - and it might help him to realize that if you take it seriously, there may actually be something to it after all.

May God bless you and your husband with the gift of prayer.

~Liza

I read about the suggestion of the Our Father earlier here in this thread, and it would be a good place to start but I’m hesitant, because he does not know it all the way through. When our son was baptised, and we all recited the prayer together, he got as far as “on earth as it is in heaven”, but then he drew a blank. I was taken aback (in a good way) to hear him even start to say it! He has a gorgeous deep voice, oooohhh… it was wonderful! But then when he got stuck and everyone else (just about everyone) went on, I’m sure inwardly he felt embarrassed and hoped no one noticed. He probably wished he hadn’t started to speak in the first place. My heart broke for him in that moment.

I have recently told him it was good to give thanks at the end of the day when we sit down to eat together, because when else in life do you actually take a moment to reflect on the good things you have in life. He didn’t have much of a response to me.

You’re right though, if I were to just approach him with my heart on my sleeve and tell him I wanted to take it more seriously, he’d probably acquiesce easily. And if it were to work out that way, and he could be influenced by a more reverent approach to prayer, it would be really good for him. But, he can’t feel put upon, or bothered to do something he wouldn’t think to do himself without the nagging wife prompting him to do so. It’s a delicate situation. So, that being said, your prayers are most assuredly appreciated!! My name is Deborah and his name is Jason in case you’d like to remember us personally in your prayers on occasion! This is something I need to remember in particular in my prayers, along with my prayers for his conversion. I’m glad the subject came up here!

 

[Pani_Rose]

Dear Bee Sweet,

Fear is not of God. The only fear to have is fear of God.

It could be that your husband is just waiting for you to ask him again

 

[lotusblossom]

I read about the suggestion of the Our Father earlier here in this thread, and it would be a good place to start but I’m hesitant, because he does not know it all the way through. When our son was baptised, and we all recited the prayer together, he got as far as “on earth as it is in heaven”, but then he drew a blank. I was taken aback (in a good way) to hear him even start to say it! He has a gorgeous deep voice, oooohhh… it was wonderful! But then when he got stuck and everyone else (just about everyone) went on, I’m sure inwardly he felt embarrassed and hoped no one noticed. He probably wished he hadn’t started to speak in the first place. My heart broke for him in that moment.

I have recently told him it was good to give thanks at the end of the day when we sit down to eat together, because when else in life do you actually take a moment to reflect on the good things you have in life. He didn’t have much of a response to me.

You’re right though, if I were to just approach him with my heart on my sleeve and tell him I wanted to take it more seriously, he’d probably acquiesce easily. And if it were to work out that way, and he could be influenced by a more reverent approach to prayer, it would be really good for him. But, he can’t feel put upon, or bothered to do something he wouldn’t think to do himself without the nagging wife prompting him to do so. It’s a delicate situation. So, that being said, your prayers are most assuredly appreciated!! My name is Deborah and his name is Jason in case you’d like to remember us personally in your prayers on occasion! This is something I need to remember in particular in my prayers, along with my prayers for his conversion. I’m glad the subject came up here!

Deborah -

What about getting a couple holy cards with the prayers on the back? Or even printing the prayers out on a pretty piece of paper to set at your bedside each night?

When my husband and I started dating, I gave him a holy card of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which he kept in his pocket along with a card with the Act of Contrition on it that he kept with him at all times, so when he went to Confession, he could say it without forgetting halfway through.

It is a slow process many times, but I believe a woman does make a man when it comes to spirituality many times. I’ve seen men fall away because their wives were not into their faith, and I’ve been told by men that their wives have encouraged them to grow (including my own! ) It’s a place to start, and maybe by having these prayers printed out (and could possibly be put in a frame on your wall), you can also teach your son as well .

 

[Deacon_Bart]

Daily, unless travel or such keeps us apart. After 37 years of marriage she says she likes me better when I remember to pray so she prays with me to help remind me. I get grumpy otherwise. Yes I know deacons are supposed to pray morning and evening prayer, but I have been known to be lazy. Mea Culpa.
Do not be afraid of prayer. Remember what St. Paul says about marriage to the Epheisans; the wife is to reflect to the entire world the way the people of God should love Him. The husband must daily witness to the world by the way he loves his wife the love of Jesus for His Church. That means the cross every day. I’m too big a coward to face that without prayer. My marriage is not for Sharon and I; it is to be a sign for the Church and the world. I find it frightening that God puts that much trust in me!
The way to start is as some have said, slowly and with small things. If nothing else, watch the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet on EWTN and invite your spouse to watch with you. Maybe say only one decade of the Rosary. A short prayer for your clergy or peace in the world. Only invite and always except no gracefully. Don’t give up and don’t get pushy. We invited a friend to Mass with us for a full 7 years before he finally came. Now he is back in the Church, praise God.
You might try asking your spouse to help you get started. Some posts indicate that they don’t know how: go to a local Catholic book store or on line book stores and look for devotional prayer books. Go explore together and see what fits your spirituality as a couple. Remember you are not religious so don’t think you have to pray like monks or nuns. And don’t get discouraged. 37 years married and 20 years a deacon and at times we still miss. You miss a day and then another and then its a week or two and you are ashamed to start again because you have “failed”. Satan loves these kind of cute games. I been here more often than I wish to admit (being a deacon doesn’t mean I can’t mess us up, unfortunately). All you do is start over and be gentle with yourself. Remember, if Satan can not stop you from starting he will try to get you into doing so much it becomes an impossible burden so you quit. Go slowly, gently and try to work with both of your spiritualites. (I like the more mystic, contemplative type prayers; my wife likes sung prayers (I can’t carry a tune in a bucket) and more formal prayers. We have found a blend that works well for us most of the time. Don’t be afraid to explore a little and don’t be afraid to ask for help; first from your spouse and then from those you trust. If you but take the first step, God will help you find the way.
God Bless and keep you all.

 

[Darrel]

My wife and I have a devotion to the Rosary but fail to do it everyday .

-D

 

[rpp]

I do not have a spouse. Praying together on a regular basis, in addition to daily Mass and the Divine Office, is a prerequsite to anyone I may potentially be with.

You can tell that I, as a middle-aged man, get a lot of dates this way (yeah, right!)

 

[mariam1976]

I do not have a spouse. Praying together on a regular basis, in addition to daily Mass and the Divine Office, is a prerequsite to anyone I may potentially be with.

You can tell that I, as a middle-aged man, get a lot of dates this way (yeah, right!)

 

[mommyof4]

I do not have a spouse. Praying together on a regular basis, in addition to daily Mass and the Divine Office, is a prerequsite to anyone I may potentially be with.

You can tell that I, as a middle-aged man, get a lot of dates this way (yeah, right!)

Hey, I think that they would be LUCKY to find someone with that kind of thinking. You hold out for someone who feels the same way.