Do you prefer Confessing face to face or through a private confessional grid/screen?

[FrDavid96]

FrDavid96:

I always use a screen–even if it’s just my left hand.

When you are the penitent or the confessor?

Confessor.
As a penitent, I look to use a screen whenever possible.

Fr. David, is my understanding correct that the priest does not have to provide the option for face-to-face. He can choose to only hear confession behind a screen?

Correct.

(Of course, that assumes that a screen is available. In other words, someone is not to be denied the opportunity for confession because of a lack of a screen).

 

[babochka]

That’s interesting ,but if he’s standing next to you rather than in front of you, and you’re kneeling, it seems like the conversational aspect is lost, which is what most people seem to be trying to get by going face to face.

Another aspect that might be lost if you have never experienced confession in the Byzantine Rite is that the penitent is generally looking at an icon of Christ during the confession of sins. In my experience, it is usually the icon of Christ the Pantocrator, which illustrates both the mercy and justice of God.

I don’t know that most people are trying to have a conversational experience if they prefer face-to-face confession. It is the way that the entire church experienced confession until well into the 1600s. It really isn’t some newfangled and modern notion. I prefer it because it as a personal encounter with Christ and with the priest. The human aspect of this sacrament is important; otherwise we would just go directly to God. Also, in the East there really isn’t such a line between confession and spiritual direction as has developed in the West, in recent centuries.

If I can’t get to my own priest for confession, I sometimes go to an FSSP priest. He is an outstanding confessor and an excellent moral theologian. Being FSSP, as a general rule, he only hears confessions in the (brightly lit) confessional. He knows who I am, recognizes my voice, and gives pertinent and helpful advice. I still miss greatly the personal encounter with the priest, the and the physical aspect of absolution (the weight of the stole and Father’s hands on my head). I’m difinitely not looking for a little chat.

 

[christofirst]

I always choose the screen or grille, but I really don’t mind going face-to-face. Either way, I feel great afterward!

 

[gabrielcannizzo]

I think It’s not just having a chat with the priest, I mean, some might say that to feel a little more relaxed. But having a conversation with your priest is important for your spiritual growth rather than only blaming yourself for your sins.

 

[babochka]

I think It’s not just having a chat with the priest, I mean, some might say that to feel a little more relaxed. But having a conversation with your priest is important for your spiritual growth rather than only blaming yourself for your sins.

Agreed. And I prefer to have my conversations with another human being in the physical presence of that human being. It is an intimate encounter and a human one.

But it isn’t a hill to die on, either way. I’ll take what I can get and I’m grateful for so many options. Where I live, I can get to confession in one of several rites on at least 4 days a week. The Latin Rite Cathedral, only 20 minutes away, has confession every day before the noon Mass. The FSSP parish just increased their confession times for Lent, to include every evening from 6: 00—7:30. My own pastor will schedule an appointment any time that he is able. With 6 kids, it I still be a challenge, but we are abundantly blessed with options.

 

[babochka]

Yes! One time when I went to confession behind a screen, I brought the printed out form of Confession with me. I was struggling to read the Act of Contrition in the low light. Much to my surprise, the priest apologized and flipped on the light, from his side. So much for anonymity.

Yes! One time when I went to confession behind a screen, I brought the printed out form of Confession with me. I was struggling to read the Act of Contrition in the low light. Much to my surprise, the priest apologized and flipped on the light, from his side. So much for anonymity.

 

[gabrielcannizzo]

Most conversations with human beings, other than priests do not always contribute to spiritual growth, especially when we’re in need of some counseling, a priest can give good advise on how to proceed more according to God’s will and the Church’s teachings, other people might lead you to commit mistakes. That’s the kind of conversation we’re talking about, right?

 

[ebozeman]

I have not been to confession for over 50 years, when I was made to go as a child. Since retiring from teaching, I have been going to church more, have been participating in bible studies, exploring my faith, and volunteering at church as a Lector. My problem is this- I committed many grave sins both during my troubled teen years and during my first marriage for which I want to confess and ask forgiveness for, but I am ashamed to to this in front of my priest. In fact, there is no way I can do this. Our day of reconciliation is coming up where there will be several priests to hear confessions, I do not know if this is behind a screen or face to face. Also, are we all just sitting around talking to priest during this time or is there some kind of privacy? Should I just call my church and ask? Can I request not to have my priest? I was thinking about going to a different church just for confession. I am really struggling with this.

 

[brian_custer]

you can easily find out where “behind the screen” confessions are in your area

simply travel about & see what is going on in the various parishes in your area

trust me; if i can do it, you can

if you lived in my area; i could tell you in 5 seconds…,.

 

[Augustinian]

you can easily find out where “behind the screen” confessions are in your area

Pittsburgh has a lot of old school churches with old school style confessionals. My church has at least 6 along the sides of the nave, although only one priest. I guess they are there in case there are several guest priests coming in to hear confessions?

 

[OraLabora]

Ebozeman I was in your shoes 21 years ago. I cornered the priest just before Mass, and let it all come out after a 22 year absence from the Church. Face to face. Do it. Few things in life can make you feel better.

The priest will be thrilled to welcome you home!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Another aspect that might be lost if you have never experienced confession in the Byzantine Rite is that the penitent is generally looking at an icon of Christ during the confession of sins.

I kind of wish the RC’s had a Crucifix or something that we could talk to, as I would find that easier probably, but I remind myself that Jesus is present in the person of the priest, and that it’s not Father so-and-so sitting there, but Jesus.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

ebozeman, do not fear going back to confession. From reading these threads I have found that there are many people who had a period where they were “away” from the Church or from Confession and did not go for a long time. I did not go to Confession for 18 years and before that I went once a year but probably didn’t make very good confessions, as I left out a lot of stuff I did not want to tell the priest or had no intention of stopping doing at the time.

Needless to say when I went back I had quite the laundry list. It makes some people comfortable to call a priest they know, set up an appointment for confession and spend extra time going over all the sins. I can tell you that did NOT sound good to me. There is no way I wanted to sit in front of one of the handful of priests I knew and tell him all the rot I had been doing for over 20 years, even though I know they wouldn’t repeat it and would likely forget it in the next hour.

I simply found the local cathedral (huge place, regular confessions, and far enough away that I didn’t have to worry about personally knowing or running into any of the priests), went down there at confession time, and made myself go confess to an anonymous priest at 6:30 am one morning. I did it as fast as I possibly could to get it overwith, I think I rocketed through 18-20 years of bad sins in 2 minutes. I have utilized cathedrals a time or two more when I had something big I wanted to confess to a priest I would never see again. I use the parish priests for just ordinary confessions, now that I am in the habit of going regularly.

Do whatever you need to do to get yourself to confess - find an anonymous priest, or make an appointment, or write down a laundry list of all the sins and burn it afterwards, whatever you need to do. But confess!

 

[brian_custer]

i wish i could give 10 “likes” for the above post. A CAF gem

thank you…

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Perhaps God gives us these lousy experiences, not only to show that we cannot do anything without him, but also to equip us to help others going through the same…

 

[yankeesouth]

I prefer behind the screen and that is how I confess at my parish. In fact as a life long Catholic I never confessed face to face until… One time I was going to have to confess at another parish due to schedule conflicts and I knew that it was done face to face there but no big deal it would be one time with a priest I didn’t know. Well I walk in and who is sitting there but my priest who is helping out. Oy vey!

 

[Avila123]

I prefer the screen because I:
(a) am confessing my sins to Jesus - the priest is his instrument.
(b) need to concentrate on what I need to say (so I am concise and don’t ramble so much).
(c) am less likely to argue.
(d) when confession is over, if I need advice, counseling or guidance, I will ask for it (I hasten to add, that if the Holy Spirit moves the priest to offer any, I will listen).
(e) kneeling down without distractions is where I need to be.

Face to face and sitting down is difficult for me, so I travel to a Church that has confessional booths.

 

[JimG]

At my parish we have two sets of traditional style confessionals, wherein the priests sits in the middle and a penitent on each side. There is a grille covered by a curtain. Neither party can see the other, and of course a slide on the priest’s side so he can close one side and open the other.

It is anonymous even though it is well lit; it’s not dark in there. I will add that this is a church which was built well after Vatican II. Also, for those who cannot kneel, there is a chair in the confessional which can be pulled up in front of the screen.

So in the ordinary course of scheduled confessions the only way to do it is behind the screen. Face to face is not an option, although one can call for an appointment in order to confess in that way.

Often when the line is long another priest will hclp out by hearing confessions at the altar rail. But that is still not face to face: the priest is looking down or shielding his eyes with his left hand.

On CAF I often see people say that the priest recognizes their voice. Maybe so, but I’ve been in confession lines where 20 or more confessions are hard in the space of half an hour. This is a quite large parish. It’s hard for a priest to recognize everyone’s face let alone their voice.

So here’s my own confession: I prefer behind the screen because it’s faster. I hate to be in a long line and miss going to confession because everyone took too long. And the fact is, people do take longer when they confess face to face.

I think that if everyone in my parish went to confession monthly and everyone went face to face, the priests wouldn’t have time for much of anything else.

 

[babochka]

And the fact is, people do take longer when they confess face to face.

Why do you think this is?

 

[BCB89]

Confidential confession is my norm now. When I finally made it back to confession after a decade away I did it face to face and am glad I did - I think it’s good for when you may need more guidance / direction, more of a conversation than a straight confession. I’ve also used my spiritual director as a confessor before, so I suppose that’s face-to-face.