Do you prefer Confessing face to face or through a private confessional grid/screen?

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ebozeman said:
Should I just call my church and ask? Can I request not to have my priest? I was thinking about going to a different church just for confession.
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Go to another church. You are under no obligation to go to Confession in your own parish, go somewhere else if you like. Check their Confession times online, most churches have fairly similar times for Confession.
 
I usually confess face to face if available, but if the line is long for that option then I will sometimes go to use the grid screen.
 
Yes…and my assessment is imperfect, but my judgment tells me this, and so it works for me.

I don’t always use the screen, the priest who knows me best I see face to face, and we get right down to business.

I travel a lot. I go to confession frequently. I am a member of Opus Dei and we tend to confess with a bit of a different spirit. And hold the too easy comments about “scrupulosity”. I don’t suffer from that.

So when I travel, I tend to go behind the screen so that I can get down to the business of my sins, and it seems to side step the whole “no need to confess sins against the virtue of generosity, or humility…how about sins against the poor?” dialog.

The screen is better for me…and for the priest in this case. Absolution and reconciliation with God and the Church, and others, and interior reconciliation is what the Sacrament is for.
 
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As a fulltime employee of a parish, I prefer to go to confession at another parish because it is awkward to go to a close coworker. Some pastors prefer staff do this. I have not asked our new pastor.

I prefer to go face to face because I can remember going to Confession back in the day in a traditional confessional… I went in and started my script of Bless me Father… only to have the priest, slide the panel behind the screen over and ask me to hold on a second because he was still hearing the confession of the person on the other side.

Also back in the day… I went to Catholic school and one day while in the 7th grade, I was called down to the office and then sent to the 2nd grade classroom. I was going to go with them to the church so they could practice going to confession. I was to sit in the priest’s chair. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a young man. I am sure the nuns thought I was going to become a priest.
 
Edward_H said:
I don’t always use the screen, the priest who knows me best I see face to face, and we get right down to business.

I travel a lot. I go to confession frequently. I am a member of Opus Dei and we tend to confess with a bit of a different spirit. And hold the too easy comments about “scrupulosity”. I don’t suffer from that.
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So do you find yourself to be less sincere, Less Direct, and more prone to excuse-making when you confess to this priest? Why do you choose to confess face to face in this particular circumstance?

I find it interesting because you came out so adamantly in favor of the screen at first. I’m just wondering what makes this situation different for you.

My first preference is face-to-face with a priest who knows me well and it seems that we are so far apart on that.
 
I don’t think anyone was going to mention scrupulosity. It’s just that you pronounced a judgment on how you think confession goes for those of us who go face to face. A Do you recognize that you’re subject to those same pitfalls you listed?
 
You missed a key point that I made.

It’s not the face to face alone that’s the issue with me…I regularly see one priest that I know face to face…instead, it’s the face to face with a priest I don’t know that can occasionally be the issue.

It’s really a 2 by 2 grid problem…face to face vs screen; with a known or unknown priest. 4 possibilities.

Face to face, with a priest in a different city? Too much opportunity for a de-railed conversation, not sincerely focused on my sins, but instead on my reasons why I am confessing it.

Priest: why confess that sin?

me: because it’s a sin I am working on.

Priest: I don’t think you ought to be working on that sin.

Me: it’s the sin that came to me as I prepared for confession in prayer.

Priest: I just don’t think you should be confessing that.

Me: it’s important in my pursuit of holiness.

Priest: Who said that?

Me: A priest I see regularly, a priest of Opus Dei.

Priest; Well I don’t like Opus Dei, and all their focus on pursuing holiness.

Me: Can I continue with the confession, Father?

Face to face seems to encourage that sort of chatter.
 
Believe me…it would have come quite quickly…and whoops it just came off your keyboard.
 
Edward_H said:
Yes…and my assessment is imperfect, but my judgment tells me this, and so it works for me.
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I think perhaps you could preface or clarify your earlier comments by indicating that, for you, the screen is a better experience because it encourages more sincerity and directness.

It might not be for everyone, and thus another’s choice not to use a screen does not mean theirs is a less sincere or less direct confession.
 
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Oh I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone, even though it was clear that I was speaking for myself.

Always a danger in triggering someone. Have to be careful.
 
Edward_H said:
Oh I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone, even though it was clear that I was speaking for myself.

Always a danger in triggering someone. Have to be careful.
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Actually, it wasn’t clear you were speaking for just yourself. In typing, it can be easy to believe our meaning is clear when, in fact, it is open to several interpretations.

Your comments now are bordering on the rude and condescending. You might consider stepping away from the keyboard for a bit.
 
Many people seem to prefer face to face confession with a priest who knows them. That’s okay, but the screen must be available for those who prefer it. This comes to mind because of a conversation I recall having with a coworker. When he was a teenager, he said, he never told his actual sins in confession because he knew the priest too well, and face to face was the only option offered. So he went through a lengthy period when all of his ‘confessions’ were fictitious, because he knew the priest too well and was too embarrassed to tell the truth.
 
Edward_H said:
Oh I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone, even though it was clear that I was speaking for myself.

Always a danger in triggering someone. Have to be careful.
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It was not clear to me that you were speaking only for yourself.
 
Is there anyone here who legitimately is speaking for anyone else? no.
 
Edward_H said:
You missed a key point that I made.

It’s not the face to face alone that’s the issue with me…I regularly see one priest that I know face to face…instead, it’s the face to face with a priest I don’t know that can occasionally be the issue.

It’s really a 2 by 2 grid problem…face to face vs screen; with a known or unknown priest. 4 possibilities.
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I did miss this point in your initial response, as it was not there. 🙂

I agree with you here.
Edward_H said:
Face to face, with a priest in a different city? Too much opportunity for a de-railed conversation, not sincerely focused on my sins, but instead on my reasons why I am confessing it.

Priest: why confess that sin?

me: because it’s a sin I am working on.

Priest: I don’t think you ought to be working on that sin.

Me: it’s the sin that came to me as I prepared for confession in prayer.

Priest: I just don’t think you should be confessing that.

Me: it’s important in my pursuit of holiness.

Priest: Who said that?

Me: A priest I see regularly, a priest of Opus Dei.

Priest; Well I don’t like Opus Dei, and all their focus on pursuing holiness.

Me: Can I continue with the confession, Father?

Face to face seems to encourage that sort of chatter.
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This is just completely outside of my realm of experience. The only chatter I’ve ever had during my time in Confession, whether face-to-face or behind the screen, came after my confession.

90% of the time, I confess to the same Byzantine priest, so a screen isn’t an option. I find my confessions are better when I know the priest. Other times, I’ll go to an FSSP parish or occasionally an Opus Dei priest, if I can make a Recollection. Both of those are behind the screen, but with priests I know.

So my ordered preference would be:
  1. Face-to-Face with a Byzantine priest - I prefer an Eastern approach to the sacrament.
  2. Face-to-face with a Latin-Rite priest that I know well. Since most of the Latin-rite priests that I know are FSSP. this doesn’t happen often.
    3)Behind the screen with a priest that I know well.
    4)Face-to-face with a priest I don’t know.
    5)Behind the screen with a priest I don’t know.
 
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