Do you prefer the confessional or face to face?

[nichola]

Out of all the confessions I’ve had only two of them have been in the confessional because I prefer to make appointments. I know it’s about Jesus, but face to face with my confessor feels more honest and personal to me somehow.

Just wondering what everyone else’s preferences were.

 

[centurionguard]

Out of all the confessions I’ve had only two of them have been in the confessional because I prefer to make appointments. I know it’s about Jesus, but face to face with my confessor feels more honest and personal to me somehow.

Just wondering what everyone else’s preferences were.

Both Confessional Box and Face to Face is fine. My only critique is that the option of face to face offers a more sedate peaceful place set apart with respect to both the priest as much as the sinner seeking the sacrament of reconciliation. I dislike other parishioners pressing in at a distance of an earshot of what is being spoken in private.

 

[Chris_Etzel]

I prefer face to face. My first confession was face to face and I have just done it that way ever since.

 

[utah_rose]

I like face to face IF I don’t know the priest very well. I feel very uncomfortable for some reason face to face if I do know the priest, even though I know he probably forgets all the sins. Actually, being from the “old-school” I didn’t mind the old type of confessionals at all. You did have some privacy, and you could never decipher what the other person was saying.

I am a revert and when I came back to the Church in 2002 Easter weekend I DID have to make an appointment on Holy Saturday when the priests in our home parish were “too busy” to hear my Confession (I was away for about 20 years). I thank God every day and pray for the one priest who did make time to hear it, even though he was probably as busy as the others, but of course I forgave the others. And for Mother Angelica who pushed me along.

 

[BarbG]

I am a “cradle” Catholic and quite old so I prefer the Confessional – it was what I am familiar with – in my Parish they no longer use the Confessional but “face to face” – sometimes I go to another Parish close by because they still use the Confessional.

 

[Brendan]

Doesn’t matter, our pastor only generally hears confessions from behind the screen.

Even if you make an appointment, he will meet you in the confessional behind the screen,.

The only exceptions that I am aware of is hospital or home sick visits.

 

[CruceSignati]

I really don’t mind either way. When it is face to face, you can see who the priest is, and I think that might be a bit more suitable for kids who are scared of being in a “box” with a voice behind a screen. However, when I am kneeling in the confessional, it makes me feel a bit more contrite and humble about my sins, and I feel very refreshed stepping out the door.

 

[LaSainte]

You people are Either really brave or your sins aren’t that bad . I find face-to-face downright mortifying.

 

[mellowcalico]

I think I prefer the screen… I feel better about opening up that way. But I’ve done face-to-face too.

I wonder what most priests prefer… I some times wonder if the screen is awkward or is maybe they like it so it’s easier for them to forget the sins when it’s all over (since they won’t have a face to match it up with).

 

[R_C]

Face to face indeed makes it personal. It may make us forget that it is not to the priest we confess, but to Christ himself.

That being said, I’ve often confessed face to face, and it doesn’t help me as much as using the veil. Confession should be a place to open ourselves to Christ without fear or embarassment or having to fight with our own psychological constraints. The veil gives us a way to do this. Even tears can flow behind the veil, and only the Lord will see them.

 

[RPRPsych]

You people are Either really brave or your sins aren’t that bad . I find face-to-face downright mortifying.

I’d find it not only mortifying, but embarrassing; since my job often involves face-to-face counseling and education, I’d feel like I was on the wrong end of one of my own sessions!

The confessional for me. (Can we have a poll here?)

 

[Joe_5859]

I generally prefer behind the screen, but I went through a period where I would only confess face-to-face as a way of growing in humility (by intentionally choosing what was more difficult for me).

But then I’ve had several priests tell me that face-to-face makes them uncomfortable. One even confessed to me (no pun intended ) that he is afraid of the day when someone who went to Confession face-to-face would accuse him of something indecent and, because of the seal of the Confessional, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself at all.

After that, I went back to going behind the screen.

 

[babochka]

I’d find it not only mortifying, but embarrassing; since my job often involves face-to-face counseling and education, I’d feel like I was on the wrong end of one of my own sessions!

The confessional for me. (Can we have a poll here?)

I find that confession of my sins is always embarrassing, no matter the circumstances. And shouldn’t it be a little bit mortifying as well, as in “dying to self”?

 

[nichola]

You people are Either really brave or your sins aren’t that bad . I find face-to-face downright mortifying.

Mostly, If I’m confessing something I am ashamed of I want to be able to look my confessor in the eye, but I don’t know if that’s a control thing on my part.

 

[RPRPsych]

I find that confession of my sins is always embarrassing, no matter the circumstances. And shouldn’t it be a little bit mortifying as well, as in “dying to self”?

Good point.

I guess the point I was trying to make was that Confession is not the same as counseling or therapy. A face-to-face setting blurs the line between the two, and can sometimes devolve into a conversation or a formal counseling session (I’ve had this happen to me once!), which is why I prefer the confessional. The “mortification quotient” is more or less the same for me whichever way I do it.

 

[englishredrose]

In our Anglican confessions, our church at least doesn’t have boxes as you call them.

They are all face to face though priests at our church have their eyes closed.All of them had. (I once had confession in a neighbouring parish and his eyes got averted because someone left a door open which meant everyone possibly could hear what I was saying,perhaps he no doubt had strong words with the culprit afterwards). The current priest sits in the pew in front and I found that unnerving but got on with it. Next time he had moved up a little so I did see his face a little and that easier for me.

I don’t know what would happen if someone requested an anonymous confession for they would have to request that for the priest to turn up as we don’t have a fixed confessional time. It all done via personal arrangement with the priest. I think the priest would encourage the person that it all anonymous per se anyway in that nothing is said afterwards only in confession and his eyes are indeed shut.I can vouch for that part. How they sit there for that time with their eyes shut? Though when he is given the advice and guidence he turns around and we are ‘chatting’.

Having had 25 years of face to face I would find the box method hard. It is kind of eery when I do glance at the priest when talking through sheer naturalness and his eyes are closed I feel it. I am happier when he turns around and its kind of a natural conversation.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

For me, the environment of the confessional provides a sense of structure to the sacrament, and I don’t have to worry about proper social behavior, such as whether or not to make eye contact, should I smile, do I shake hands, do I kneel or should I sit in the chair provided…

(I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to fireproof that last set of options against smart-alecks, and I failed. So here is the smart-aleck response: “Normally you would SIT in a chair. I guess that kneeling in chairs could be made an option, though. For the person who wants the formality of a kneeler and the comfort of confessing in a chair.” )

I have made three face-to-face confessions (all of them awkward, and one awkward-er than the others). It isn’t so much the problem of the priest knowing my identity (he figures it out anyway - and says “I’m so proud of you!” after church ), I think I just like the formality and the distance of a screen.

 

[105lynne]

You people are Either really brave or your sins aren’t that bad . I find face-to-face downright mortifying.

Agreed!

 

[revert_jen]

I have no moral or spiritual reasons for it. I don’t declare that anyone else chould do as I do.

But I would go a LONG way if necessary to find a church where I didn’t have to go face-to-face.

I have gone face-to-face before, several times. I can’t concentrate on Jesus, because social anxiety makes me contrate too much on me. Better people than I am probably don’t have this problem, but then they may have their own problems that would seem weird to me.

But face to face, I worry about “Is that a spot on my shirt?” “Can I kneel in this skirt without showing a bit too much leg?” (e.g. without showing my knees–I don’t wear the really short skirts ) “Should I sit down instead, even though it makes me feel like I’m dropping by for a chat instead of receiving a sacrament?” “Does Father think I’m fat and that’s why my sins are so boring?” “What is that weird thing my hair is doing?” “My arm itches, is it rude and/or distracting to scratch it?” “Argh, what were my sins again??? I mean, besides self-absorption.”

The box for me, every time.

–Jen

 

[Ruprecht]

Here is the view from the East:
Administration of the Sacrament in the EO churches can vary from one jurisdiction to another. In the Antiochian parishes I have been a member of, one can confess either by appointment or before Divine Liturgy, usually on Sunday morning during the chanting of Orthros or Matins. We meet with the priest on the solea in front of the icon of Jesus, to the right of the Royal Doors, or at another designated place. One is far enough away from the chanters and the laity to avoid anyone hearing anything.
So we are right there, in front of everyone, but there is no humiliation involved. Instead, there is joy and relief at the unburdening of one’s soul. Of course, if one has a really serious issue to discuss and confess, it is better to make an appointment with the priest. We can take the time needed to cover all issues.
Is the arrangement similar to the Easter Catholic practice, and can other Orthodox describe their situations?