Do you prefer the confessional or face to face?

[Edmundus1581]

I always go face-to-face, if possible.

I could add to this discussion my observation that most people seem to prefer confessing behind-the-screen. My reason for thinking this is that in the Cathedral where I confess the screen is approached first, and one has to step around it to go face-to-face. Whenever I enter the confessional the priest (who can be one of several), is already saying his introduction before I step around the screen, as if by force of habit he is expecting the penitent to be kneeling behind the screen within seconds of entering.

However, that is the Cathedral, during weekdays, so perhaps most of the people who go are specifically seeking anonymity.

 

[Sunbreak]

Since I grew up in the old days when the confessional box was all there was, that’s what I am most comfortable with. I have done face to face a few times at a few different parishes - it felt kind of awkward. Current parish priest often sits in old style confessional with his door open if no one has come in for awhile so even going into the other door is not anonymous since he can see if someone is coming toward the confessional and especially since he knows me. I suppose if I really had something embarrassing to confess I’d go to another parish nearby.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

I see some posters saying that their church only offers face to face Confession. I believe that for Roman Catholics there must be an option of anonymous confession with a screen or some other barrier. So you might want to bring that up to your priest.

Yes, I have read that this is the case, also. I don’t know the source offhand…

In my last so-called “face-to-face” confession, the confessional was a small office with two chairs available for the pentitent, and the priest sat in a third chair between these, with his back to the door. I had the option of crossing the room to sit facing him, or taking the chair behind him and remaining anonymous. I thought that was a pretty good setup.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Doesn’t matter, our pastor only generally hears confessions from behind the screen.

Even if you make an appointment, he will meet you in the confessional behind the screen,.

The only exceptions that I am aware of is hospital or home sick visits.

Such is the case with our priests, who are FSSP. Even when we couldn’t use the confessional, my confessor made a make-shift confessional, out of a kneeler, a chair and his Breviary. Though, it might as well have been face-to-face as I had an anxiety attack and lost my ability to breathe halfway through. I really need the wall separating me. Frustratingly enough, as soon as my confession was over, we re-gained access to the Confessional again.

 

[Joe_5859]

I see some posters saying that their church only offers face to face Confession. I believe that for Roman Catholics there must be an option of anonymous confession with a screen or some other barrier. So you might want to bring that up to your priest.

I agree. All the parishes in my area have two-sided confessionals. The priest sits in the middle. You can either choose door #1 and go behind the screen or door #2 and go face-to-face. This seems ideal in that people have the choice. As this thread suggests, different people have different preferences in this regard, so it is good to offer both.

 

[anp1215]

I agree. All the parishes in my area have two-sided confessionals. The priest sits in the middle. You can either choose door #1 and go behind the screen or door #2 and go face-to-face. This seems ideal in that people have the choice. As this thread suggests, different people have different preferences in this regard, so it is good to offer both.

Seems like a good setup. Ours is good too, I think. When you go in the room, there is a kneeler right in front of you, behind a cloth banner type screen thing (don’t know how to describe it). The priest sits right behind there. If you go in and want to go face to face, just step to the left, walk forward, and sit in the chair facing the priest.

 

[itullian]

confessional prefered.

 

[katy]

I generally go to confession at my parish and we only have face to face. One time when I was particularly embarrassed and was trying to confess in a traditional confessional, I went to the church near my office. Imagine my surprise when I stepped into the confessional and there was the priest sitting and another chair awaiting my arrival. Humbling.

Truly happy that this worked out well for you. I would have had to leave. I also believe we are to have the opportunity to go behind a screen and be anonymous if we wish.

 

[nitesnake]

Just wondering what everyone else’s preferences were.

I figure when I die I will have to give an accounting of my life in front of God, so looking the priest in the eye while confessing my sins might be good practice.

 

[blanc10]

I always preferred face-to-face. I feel uncomfortable talking through a screen (I know, it’s quite unusual). When I went through RCIA last year, our first confession was face-to-face. That has pretty much been my method since.

 

[YoungTradCath]

If I judge both types purely in themselves, I can say I prefer neither. But out of a sense of protecting the priest and myself, I usually confess behind a screen.

(No, I am not a woman.)

 

[EvelynEVF]

I have always gone face to face (I’m an adult convert), but a few months ago needed to confess related to chastity. I did not feel right having that conversation face to face, especially given the extra energy I’d have to invest figuring out what was the appropriate level of eye contact, etc. I will now probably never go face to face, at least with this pastor, unless it’s the only option. Even in confessions since the awkward one, it’s just so much simpler to talk about sin and repentance when I don’t have the added burden of thinking about eye contact and body language and all that.

 

[Ridgerunner]

It varies some.

With some priests, the face-to-face is actually somewhat comforting. Interestingly, my favorites for that are the priests from Africa. Seems like they just can’t keep from smiling constantly, and are unbelievably soft-spoken and warm. There must be some kind of cultural thing with them.

But for most, the confessional is definitely preferable. I especially do not like face-to-face with any priest who knows me a little bit, but not extremely well.

One thing I never like, though, is when the lines get too close to the “out in the open” kind of confession. Truth is, I don’t like “out in the open” confession at all. I think I irritate people when I hang back and don’t move forward with the line in order to give enough space for the priest and the penitent of the moment.

 

[Edmundus1581]

It varies some.

With some priests, the face-to-face is actually somewhat comforting. Interestingly, my favorites for that are the priests from Africa. Seems like they just can’t keep from smiling constantly, and are unbelievably soft-spoken and warm. There must be some kind of cultural thing with them.

But for most, the confessional is definitely preferable. I especially do not like face-to-face with any priest who knows me a little bit, but not extremely well.

One thing I never like, though, is when the lines get too close to the “out in the open” kind of confession. Truth is, I don’t like “out in the open” confession at all. I think I irritate people when I hang back and don’t move forward with the line in order to give enough space for the priest and the penitent of the moment.

Our Cathedral has several pews clearly marked “Confession Line”, which are a LONG way back from the actual confessional. There’s no change of being overheard.

At the other extreme, I once attended a church where the custom was to stand in line, right up to the door of the confessional, and, what’s more, the priest always gave his comments in a loud voice (nice, but loud)! It was, basically, very difficult to not overhear the penitent, and impossible to not overhear the priest!

 

[pollycarp]

Confessional. Dark. Preferably with a door, not a curtain.

 

[anp1215]

It varies some.

With some priests, the face-to-face is actually somewhat comforting. Interestingly, my favorites for that are the priests from Africa. Seems like they just can’t keep from smiling constantly, and are unbelievably soft-spoken and warm. There must be some kind of cultural thing with them.

But for most, the confessional is definitely preferable. I especially do not like face-to-face with any priest who knows me a little bit, but not extremely well.

One thing I never like, though, is when the lines get too close to the “out in the open” kind of confession. Truth is, I don’t like “out in the open” confession at all. I think I irritate people when I hang back and don’t move forward with the line in order to give enough space for the priest and the penitent of the moment.

That is strange. At my parish, everyone always waits about 20 feet away. There’s no marker, I guess everyone just knows that’s where the line starts.

 

[Pat_Albertson]

I was raised with the confessional. What’s more, the priest was always inside by the time I arrived, so my preference is never to see the priest. Did any of the priests know me when I was a child? Maybe . . . but I’m not sure. I knew them through the screen though.

I was an atheist for many years and within the past year or so, I came back to church. I’ve done face to face once or twice, but I prefer what I was raised with. I doubt if these priests know who I am through the screen, since I speak to them so seldom outside the confessional.

I’m fine with it. I concentrate on my sins, my problems, and listen to the priest’s advice. That’s enough to think about right there. I don’t need the extra intimacy, I just need to strive for repentance and follow the priest’s advice about my other problems.

For me, it’s about prayer and my felt contact (or lack thereof) with God, not about me and the priest.

And my expectation of the priest is that he should be helping me make that contact.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Our Cathedral has several pews clearly marked “Confession Line”, which are a LONG way back from the actual confessional. There’s no change of being overheard.

At the other extreme, I once attended a church where the custom was to stand in line, right up to the door of the confessional, and, what’s more, the priest always gave his comments in a loud voice (nice, but loud)! It was, basically, very difficult to not overhear the penitent, and impossible to not overhear the priest!

Always disconcerting.

Reminds me of one of the most embarrassing events in my life. I was in the confessional. My mother and my sister were next in line. I was probably about 19 years old, perhaps 20. I told the priest that I had been going with a girl perhaps for too long because I thought she had feelings for me that were not shared. The priest mumbled something or other, then practically shouted 'DO YOU HAVE ANY INTENTIONS OF MARRYING THIS GIRL?". My hair stood on end. “No, father, I don’t”, I said. Then, mumbling again, he told he I needed to break it off with her, not be selfish, and so on. I agreed, and resolved to do what I knew I needed to do anyway.

Red-faced, I emerged from the confessional and glanced at my mother, whose face was grim. Later, I asked my sister if she heard that loud part. “Yes” she said “loud and clear”. I explained to my sister that it wasn’t as bad as it probably sounded.

I don’t know what my mother thought it was all about, but I expect she imagined the worst. But nothing awful emerged from it, of course.

On another occasion, a group of us who were in college were in a too-close confessional line. The guy in the confessional who was perhaps not speaking clearly to the priest told him he had coveted something (or so he assured us later). “ADULTERY?” the priest practically shouted. “ADULTERY IS A VERY SERIOUS SIN”. The penitent cleared it up and, of course, the priest did not say anything loud again. The penitent guy didn’t crawl out of the confessional, but he didn’t make eye contact on the way out, either.

 

[JerrySeibert]

Praise God so many of you practice this sacrament. Awesome to see.
I am a face to face confessor it seems more intimate. My work requires me to work many weekends so I cannot always be at the scheduled reconciliation. I thank God for the awesome Pastor of my Parish. I can call his office and meet him after hours so to speak to participate in the sacrament. I am truly blessed, peace to you all.

 

[Joannm]

Always face to face, but I usually go to my spiritual director and we do confession after our session in his office.