Do you say you like it?

[mariam1976]

when ur husband gets u a bag as a gift and it is really not ur style and is very uncomfortable, would u say that it was great and u love it and use it anyways… or would u tell him the truth?

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I think I would tell him the truth, but in the nicest, sweetest way possible. “Oh, Honey, this is so sweet of you! I’m so sorry, though, I don’t think this purse is actually going to work out for me. Let’s go pick out another one!”

 

[LilyM]

Exactly - you can say ‘I love you for getting me the handbag, but it’s not exactly the style/colour/whatever I would have chosen …’

 

[deb1]

It depends on how much you dislike the purse or if he would expect you to actually use it.

Give him a big hug and act very greatful that he remembered you at all. Then gently tell him that you would like something just a bit different. Ask him if he would be offended if you returned the purse for another.

I think a great rule of thumb is to imagine yourself in his place. How could he inform you that your carefully chosen gift to him, just wasn’t his style without hurting your feelings. Then use the same method on him.

Over the years, I have convinced my husband to let me go with him to pick out my gifts. I don’t like suprises anyway, so he doesn’t get offended.

 

[b_justb]

As a husband that loves his wife I would just like to say that any man that buys a purse for his wife without exact instructions on which one to buy is a moron, in all charity of course.

Men, Unite! Don’t make purchasing decisions that will cause your wife to view you as a boob, even if she doesn’t vocalize it to you because she is a better person than you. Stick with what you know. And if you don’t know much then learn. Baby steps, brothers, baby steps.

-B. The Anti-Boob Man

 

[deb1]

As a husband that loves his wife I would just like to say that any man that buys a purse for his wife without exact instructions on which one to buy is a moron, in all charity of course.

Men, Unite! Don’t make purchasing decisions that will cause your wife to view you as a boob, even if she doesn’t vocalize it to you because she is a better person than you. Stick with what you know. And if you don’t know much then learn. Baby steps, brothers, baby steps.

-B. The Anti-Boob Man

Asking her what she wants doesn’t hurt anything either.

I’m always surprised at the couples who don’t ask each other what kind of gifts the other would appreciate. You don’t have to read her mind, guys. Just ask,

 

[b_justb]

deb1:

You don’t have to read her mind, guys. Just ask,

EXACTLY! Smart gal. We’re gonna get along great I can tell. Though we don’t actually allow females to join the Anti-Boob Man Club, we do offer honorary membership under certain circumstances.

 

[deb1]

EXACTLY! Smart gal. We’re gonna get along great I can tell. Though we don’t actually allow females to join the Anti-Boob Man Club, we do offer honorary membership under certain circumstances.

Um…does anti-boob mean that you aren’t a boob .as in you aren’t stupid or does it mean that you dislike certain sections of the female torso?

Sorry. Sometimes I’m dense.

 

[b_justb]

Um…does anti-boob mean that you aren’t a boob .as in you aren’t stupid or does it mean that you dislike certain sections of the female torso?

Sorry. Sometimes I’m dense.

LOL not anatomical

 

[Black_Jaque]

Um…does anti-boob mean that you aren’t a boob .as in you aren’t stupid or does it mean that you dislike certain sections of the female torso?

Sorry. Sometimes I’m dense.

I think this is the context in which he is using the term boob:

Don’t make purchasing decisions that will cause your wife to view you as a boob.

 

[dulcissima]

OK, I thought this one over. When I was married, my husband never would just go and pick something out for me as a gift. He always just took me shopping and let me pick something out. To be honest though, a lot of the time, I would have liked to have something that he picked out. I mean then you would know that he put some thought into thinking about you, and you would know that it was something that he actually liked. So whether it was a bag or an article of clothing, yes I do think I would still wear it or use it and would really like it even if it wasn’t something I would have picked out myself.

 

[Black_Jaque]

JustB,

It’s easier said than done. Some wives do expect husbands to read minds. Other people find it rather tacky to ask a spouse “what do you want for…?” Then go out and buy it. I’ve also learned that sometimes trying to buy them something they want is pointless because you might miss out on the details. This goes both ways. A husband might want a deer rifle, so the wife buys him one, but she gets a .30-30 when he really wanted a .30-06.

Here’s some suggestions to make gift buying easier on each other without being so tacky as to simply ask-then-go-buy:

Circle whatever it is you want in a catalogue; leave said catalogue open to that page next to easy chair.

Tear out photo of desired item from catalogue; glue to the side of a mayonaise jar; place jar on kitchen counter and begin dropping loose change into jar every so often. You’ll get that item one way or another.

Take spouse out on the town. When passing by desired item in shop window, Stop, draw in a looong breath while holding hand over heart, (or for women you could just fake …never mind).

Buy gifts on a regular basis. Pay particular note to her reaction both immediately after gift is given then long after gift is given. If they throw gift at your face - do not buy that genre of gift again. If they say “thanks” then you see them using gift every day - said gift was a success. If, after one week, you see said gift in box marked “For Goodwill” don’t bother with another gift of that kind.

Often times the best gifts are ones that aren’t “durable goods”. A consummable item is often a saavy gift. An expensive bottle of wine (or 6-pack of beer) perhaps. Even if the wine or beer isn’t exactly what they wanted it was still something they enjoyed and nobodies feelings are hurt went the empty bottles are thrown out in the trash.

Sometimes a stupid gift can be mitigated by a clever scheme in presenting it. One husband who happened to be out of town on his wife’s birthday hid a wrapped gift in the gun cabinet (she’ll NEVER find it there). Then he made arrangements with the local florist to deliver flowers on her birthday. He wrote on the little card thingy instructions to look in the gun cabinet. She found a wrapped box with some tea mugs inside (stupid gift).

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

when ur husband gets u a bag as a gift and it is really not ur style and is very uncomfortable, would u say that it was great and u love it and use it anyways… or would u tell him the truth?

It is situations like that this that keep me from buying bags for my wife…without permission of course.

Hit him over the head with the bag and say “is that what this is for?”

No I am kidding!

 

[tamccrackine]

I’d tell him but my DH knows me well enough to not bother. Last time he suggested a new diaperbag, I got this cool bag.

 

[Nechasin]

A lot would depend on whether he actually spent a lot of time in looking finding what he thought was the perfect gift or if he just drove by the guy selling purses on the street corner and bought it through the car window.

 

[estesbob]

As a husband that loves his wife I would just like to say that any man that buys a purse for his wife without exact instructions on which one to buy is a moron, in all charity of course.

Men, Unite! Don’t make purchasing decisions that will cause your wife to view you as a boob, even if she doesn’t vocalize it to you because she is a better person than you. Stick with what you know. And if you don’t know much then learn. Baby steps, brothers, baby steps.

-B. The Anti-Boob Man

Amen.

The best gifts are gift certicfiates for Marshalls, Lands End, Bath and Body etc. Also NEVER give somehng form Victorias secret-let them pick it out-we men tend to buy things that fit our image of “sexy” but are uncomfortable as heck for them to wear.

 

[deb1]

Other people find it rather tacky to ask a spouse “what do you want for…?” Then go out and buy it. I’ve also learned that sometimes trying to buy them something they want is pointless because you might miss out on the details. This goes both ways. A husband might want a deer rifle, so the wife buys him one, but she gets a .30-30 when he really wanted a .30-06.

Ah, you’ve hit on one of my personal pet peeves against my own gender. This insane, idiotic belief that loving someone means reading their mind.

The kindest thing a man can do to his wife is to dispel this silliness from her mind on the wedding night. Tell her in no uncertain terms that he can not read her mind, nor will he ever attempt to. It will make her married life much more happy and contentful once she figures this out.

Sorry about the rant. I get annoyed at this types of females all the time.

As far as the deer rifle goes, I always take my hubby with me when I buy him such items. If I got it wrong, I would not be offended if he took the item back. After all, I got the present to make him happy not myself. If he wasn’t happy with it then I would want him to do what was neccesary to rectify that.

Circle whatever it is you want in a catalogue; leave said catalogue open to that page next to easy chair.

Tear out photo of desired item from catalogue; glue to the side of a mayonaise jar; place jar on kitchen counter and begin dropping loose change into jar every so often. You’ll get that item one way or another.

Take spouse out on the town. When passing by desired item in shop window, Stop, draw in a looong breath while holding hand over heart, (or for women you could just fake …never mind).

Buy gifts on a regular basis. Pay particular note to her reaction both immediately after gift is given then long after gift is given. If they throw gift at your face - do not buy that genre of gift again. If they say “thanks” then you see them using gift every day - said gift was a success. If, after one week, you see said gift in box marked “For Goodwill” don’t bother with another gift of that kind.

How different people are. All these attempts to discover what I want would annoy me and I would probably be hurt they you didn’t respect me enough to simply ask me what I want.

I just tell my hubby, this is what I want and he does the same. Well, he mainly just wants me to cook a big meal for him.

But another woman-probably most women-would find you actions very sweet and loving. I’m admittedly odd.

You guys, you have it tough being married to us females.

 

[Black_Jaque]

But another woman-probably most women-would find you actions very sweet and loving. I’m admittedly odd.

You guys, you have it tough being married to us females.

My suggestions were more for the person who considers it important to receive gifts, but finds it tacky to tell their spouse exactly what it is they want. I suppose, if you want to make CERTAIN they get what you want, you can just jot down the UPC number and have them match it. I dunno, isn’t the idea of a gift to learn the other person’s desires, likes and dislikes, so that in buying the gift it is obvious that you know the person intimately?

But it ain’t always easy. Like, I know right now I could make my wife happy by buying one of those Kitchenaide mixers. But at $200 that might not be the next gift she gets.

Yes being married to a female ain’t easy. I did learn that what one woman says would make her so happy won’t necessarily work on my wife.

Actually, though, so long as a wife doesn’t get overly upset when a man misses the mark, trying to figure out the mystery of a woman’s likes and dislikes can be challenging and fun. As long as I can’t be accused of not trying I think I’m OK.

 

[deb1]

But it ain’t always easy. Like, I know right now I could make my wife happy by buying one of those Kitchenaide mixers. But at $200 that might not be the next gift she gets.

.

The Kitchenaide mixers are Great!!! I told my hubby that I really, really wanted one for Christmas. He had several women, including my mom, inform him that getting me something so practical would offend me.

I like to cook-no scratch that- I LOVE to cook. So, getting the mixer was the best thing that he could do.

But that is a good example as to the fact that all people are different.

Luckily, my hubby believed me when I told him that I wasn’t merely trying to be practical but that I actually wanted the mixer.

 

[b_justb]

Black Jaque:

Tear out photo of desired item from catalogue; glue to the side of a mayonaise jar; place jar on kitchen counter and begin dropping loose change into jar every so often. You’ll get that item one way or another.

or
-B. edited Black Jaque post:

Tear out photo of desired item from catalogue; glue to the side of a mayonaise jar; place jar on kitchen counter -]and begin dropping loose change into jar every so often. You’ll get that item one way or another./-] Even b_justb would get this hint

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