Do you sometimes feel you are the only one you know who tries to put Jesus first?

[brigid12]

(if it makes you feel better, all my life i have actually thought/felt that others were superior to me… not in every way, of course… but generally speaking… Most people, i have usually felt… are “better than me” - better-looking, richer, have [seemingly]
healthier relationships… so i can hardly be excessively prideful…

Oh, I hope I’m reading this wrongly and that you don’t really equate a person as being superior if they are better-looking, richer, have healthier relationships, etc.! Those things don’t have anything to do with superiority. Pride says to the individual “well, even if those people seem better in the eyes of the world, really I’m a better person”. Only when you can realize that everything (including inner personality qualities, any knowledge, any wisdom,and life itself) are gifts from God, can you say you are getting close to not being prideful and have true humility. I’m surely not even close. Even in writing this post I could hear pride’s voice in my head! I hear pride’s voice all the time in my head. Not until I can always be only focussed on others, never feel “woe is me” about anything, not ever feel any self-deluded feelings of satisfaction from my good-deeds, never judge another person’s heart, always attribute any positive thought or deed I do to Him (without discouragement and with real joy and happiness) - then and only then will I be starting to approach humility (and since one of the Saints made the remark that that only happens ten minutes after death, I’m not expecting it real soon ).

before I always thought that suffering was God punishing me! But now I see it as an opportunity to love God more selflessly and help convert sinners…be united with Jesus on the Cross…

Also I’ve been thinking about putting God first… and I think He showed me today that this desire to love Him and put Him first comes completely from His grace… and that our job is to hold on to it and to cooperate with His grace, to - always choose Him over everything… over all the world, if necessary. If people around us are acting worldly, it’s important to just humbly pray for them and ask God for the strength to always be faithful to Him… and not give in to worldliness… because it’s so easy to, sometimes. God can at any moment take away this grace…I think He did this to me a couple of times, when I no longer had this desire to love Him at all and it was so hard not to sin. I also felt very far from God, and didn’t see the point of putting Him first anymore. That’s how we are without His help… I don’t know if this has ever happened to you or not… well during those times, that’s when God is giving us trials to teach us how to trust Him in spite of feelings, and how to love and obey Him with the will alone. Then, it’s important to try and love Him anyway, whatever you might feel. The grace you’re given now, the grace to want to love God, that’s meant to encourage you and help you grow, but if like me you ever get times when you don’t feel that, those trials are for our sanctification too. My point is… No matter what, always try to put God first, because that’s the only truly important thing in this life, - to love God and your neighbour - and I’m glad that God has given you this grace

:yup:

 

[Monica4316]

Distracted, I thought of sharing something with you because maybe you will relate… cause sometimes - well often actually - I really feel how you describe…

I went through something many years ago after which I found it difficult to trust people and I felt like others always saw things wrong with me, and I would worry if people I care about are hating me or not… eventually I started struggling with depression because I didn’t understand what the point of life is and why it is that I always felt lonely. And when I got to know God, He helped me so much because He showed me that He would never leave or reject me, and I saw that His love is really precious and something that everyone needs. Definitely something that I need.

And later on when I started going to Adoration, it was always a time when I was so close to Jesus and He would heal me of things, and teach me how to love others better, and where I need to improve… and I’d always want to go there because I love being near Him. But then people started calling me a fanatic, and saying all kinds of things about me that really hurt, because I could see that they didn’t understand why I like Mass and Adoration. And others were genuinely worried about me and concerned, and told me to ‘be careful’ about this ‘religion stuff’, and encouraged me to go to parties and things instead. I can see now that they said these things because they care about me, but I think they didn’t really understand what Adoration is to me. But back then, all this hurt a lot, because I felt like these people are trying to take away the ONE thing that ever meant anything to me in my life. So I’d just run away to church lol and that’s where I felt real peace, God let me know that He’s really pleased when people come and visit Him - because there’s so much sin out there and it hurts Him… so I started to pray in reparation for everything and to practice the Sacred Heart devotion, Divine Mercy, etc. That really got me deeper into the Church and I saw how great Catholic devotions and prayers are.

If you feel like people are accusing you unjustly or are being mean to you when you haven’t done anything to them… remember, Jesus was also accused unjustly… offer that to Him and then let Him hold you close to His Heart. His love is greater than what people might do to us. And - don’t know about you, sometimes I find it difficult to forgive, but God always helps.

There is also this quote by St Therese…

To a sister who had told her that she preferred to be corrected when she was wrong rather than when she was blameless, Therese replied: “I prefer to be accused unjustly, for then I have nothing to reproach myself with, and joyfully offer this to the good Lord. Then I humble myself at the thought that I am indeed capable of doing the thing of which I have been accused.”

God bless you

 

[distracted]

Distracted, I thought of sharing something with you because maybe you will relate… cause sometimes - well often actually - I really feel how you describe…

I went through something many years ago after which I found it difficult to trust people and I felt like others always saw things wrong with me, and I would worry if people I care about are hating me or not… eventually I started struggling with depression because I didn’t understand what the point of life is and why it is that I always felt lonely. And when I got to know God, He helped me so much because He showed me that He would never leave or reject me, and I saw that His love is really precious and something that everyone needs. Definitely something that I need.

And later on when I started going to Adoration, it was always a time when I was so close to Jesus and He would heal me of things, and teach me how to love others better, and where I need to improve… and I’d always want to go there because I love being near Him. But then people started calling me a fanatic, and saying all kinds of things about me that really hurt, because I could see that they didn’t understand why I like Mass and Adoration. And others were genuinely worried about me and concerned, and told me to ‘be careful’ about this ‘religion stuff’, and encouraged me to go to parties and things instead. I can see now that they said these things because they care about me, but I think they didn’t really understand what Adoration is to me. But back then, all this hurt a lot, because I felt like these people are trying to take away the ONE thing that ever meant anything to me in my life. So I’d just run away to church lol and that’s where I felt real peace, God let me know that He’s really pleased when people come and visit Him - because there’s so much sin out there and it hurts Him… so I started to pray in reparation for everything and to practice the Sacred Heart devotion, Divine Mercy, etc. That really got me deeper into the Church and I saw how great Catholic devotions and prayers are.

so refreshing to read this post! You sound just like me… but i don’t know if i understand that one thing about how people were caring about you… when they criticized you… (?). I have never felt anyone cared about me, really… but i no longer care because i have found that Love that is far, far greater than any human love i could possibly find… Yes, i would like to also have human love… but i am 'damaged" with ptsd and probably am not going to find anyone who can “put up with me”… for very long… forever… I have some good qualities, but they kind of go unappreciated because it seems people are always looking at the bad ones…

Anyway… God bless you for your love of adoration… I love it more than anything in life… which should go without saying, but like you say… not everyone knows about it… (something to that effect)…

I tell people about it and they still don’t always get it… or seem to … i don’t know if any of the seeds i plant ever grows… but maybe when i get to heaven… i will be shown such things…

(I could use the encouragement NOW, though… )

 

[chevalier]

No, I don’t get the feeling. There is sometimes a rule or two that no one else seems to get, but that’s philosophy, ethics, law, that kind of stuff. Not the actual living of the faith in one’s life. I’m far from being the only and I wish I could qualify as one of.

 

[Monica4316]

so refreshing to read this post! You sound just like me… but i don’t know if i understand that one thing about how people were caring about you… when they criticized you… (?). I have never felt anyone cared about me, really… but i no longer care because i have found that Love that is far, far greater than any human love i could possibly find… Yes, i would like to also have human love… but i am 'damaged" with ptsd and probably am not going to find anyone who can “put up with me”… for very long… forever… I have some good qualities, but they kind of go unappreciated because it seems people are always looking at the bad ones…

Anyway… God bless you for your love of adoration… I love it more than anything in life… which should go without saying, but like you say… not everyone knows about it… (something to that effect)…

I tell people about it and they still don’t always get it… or seem to … i don’t know if any of the seeds i plant ever grows… but maybe when i get to heaven… i will be shown such things…

(I could use the encouragement NOW, though… )

Hi,

I think probably it’s something that God has to show them Himself it’s very hard to know what it’s like to really experience Adoration, or a relationship with God in general, based on a description only. It’s something you have to experience… it’s like describing friendship to someone who’s never had a friend…they wouldn’t really get the whole picture.

what I meant about people caring for me when they criticized me… well it actually took me a lot of time to see it that way at all. But - I’d have people like my family or close friends, telling me that I shouldn’t get too much into “religion” because it will be “harmful” to me… and I know that’s not true, but - the reason they said this is because they truly do think that religion should be ‘moderate’, and they don’t want me to be harmed by anything… they want me to be happy… so they tried telling me what their idea of happiness is. Which is more ‘worldly’, like parties and things. So I see that their intention was good, but I disagree with their conclusion… we really don’t ever know what’s in people’s hearts. They might be really hurtful and critical, but most likely they just have an incorrect understanding of spiritual things.

In any case, it’s always difficult to hear comments or criticisms like this and that is a way we can share in Christ’s Passion I guess! …in a small way… He suffered more than we can know…

You are correct that God cares about us more than people do, but often people really do care too they just have the wrong ways of expressing it. But - it is true that no one can love us like Him.

I’m sure there are good people out there though, who are patient and charitable



I’m glad that you were encouraged by that post.

God bless!!

monica

 

[Monica4316]

i don’t know if any of the seeds i plant ever grows…

This is God’s work… try to trust Him.

St Faustina said:

“O my Jesus, because of my trust in You, I weave thousands of garlands, and I know that they will all blossom. I know that they will all blossom when God’s sun will shine on them. O great and Divine Sacrament That veils my God! Jesus, be with me each moment, And no fear will enter my heart.”
our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/

we will see someday meanwhile, we can pray.

 

[distracted]

Hi,

I think probably it’s something that God has to show them Himself it’s very hard to know what it’s like to really experience Adoration, or a relationship with God in general, based on a description only. It’s something you have to experience… it’s like describing friendship to someone who’s never had a friend…they wouldn’t really get the whole picture.

This is very true… and sometimes i hesitate to say anything about adoration for this reason… being misunderstood… Plus, i hate the feeling of… well, for lack of a better way to say it… casting pearls before (possible) “swine”… I don’t know why i feel that way… maybe i shouldn’t… I mean, i am sure Jesus can handle them rejecting the Real Presence… especially since, as you say, they just don’t “get it”… or whatever… But anyway, once i realize someone really is trying to be a Christian… (etc), i always go into some detail about the Blessed Sacrament… and waht “it” has done for me… But again, i must remember (remind myself) tht i am to plant seeds, not necessarily see them grow…

telling me that I shouldn’t get too much into “religion” because it will be “harmful” to me… and I know that’s not true, but - the reason they said this is because they truly do think that religion should be ‘moderate’, and they don’t want me to be harmed by anything… they want me to be happy…

Yeah, i have gone through teh same kinds of things and thought processes… although, since i never felt loved (particularly) while growing up, i have a tendency to think that no one is capable of caring for me… (and no one IS compared to Jesus)… so anyway… i realize (at least in my head) that i think things about people that may not be true… Getting my stubborn HEART to realize what my head knows… is another story…

You are correct that God cares about us more than people do, but often people really do care too they just have the wrong ways of expressing it.

another thing i need to get my heart to remember… my heart has a terrible memory… Alzheimer’s, i think… )…

 

[clairemd]

I can tell you that you are not alone in your struggle. It is part of God’s gift – having a beautiful deep personal relationship with Him that not many people have discovered yet. When you find yourself in His presence at the Blessed Sacrament, lay down this feeling and He will turn that feeling of ‘alone-ness’ into joy. Joy that only you can feel and sometimes cannot contain. It is unexplainable. Let me share to you my story. I struggled for almost four years ago during the time I started medical school. I was already in the Catholic renewal community for 6 years and I thought I was already firm in my relationship with Him and in my prayertime. It turned out, I got dragged down with the environment I was in. It wasn’t easy trying to climb uphill when everyone keeps on going and dragging you down. and I allowed myself to be dragged down. But I guess Jesus knows my struggles and He didn’t allow me to go that far away from Him. There wasn’t anything dramatic to what He did. He just spoke to my heart and in turn, I responded by stepping out in faith. And almost everybody turned their back on me because I know they couldn’t understand what was happening to me. I have never felt more alone in my life but more than that, I have never felt more joyful than just by being in His arms again. Now, whenever I try to do things for Him first (going to mass rather than conferences or late night outs) even if I do that all alone, I don’t care about what they’ll say because nothing compares than being in the presence of my God knowing me and accepting me as I am. It hasn’t been an easy journey for me. I don’t know how they see me now (maybe a freak, too) but I never explained myself. God alone is my my vindication.
Yes, we are alone but whenever we all come before our God, it is like praying ‘alone together’ wherever we may be. And with that thought, I hope your loneliness and feeling of alone-ness would eventually be healed.
I have posted a sharing here. Just see my profile. I’d like to uplift you. Thank you, too, for sharing this feeling.
Godbless You.

 

[distracted]

I can tell you that you are not alone in your struggle. It is part of God’s gift – having a beautiful deep personal relationship with Him that not many people have discovered yet. When you find yourself in His presence at the Blessed Sacrament, lay down this feeling and He will turn that feeling of ‘alone-ness’ into joy. Joy that only you can feel and sometimes cannot contain. It is unexplainable. Let me share to you my story. I struggled for almost four years ago during the time I started medical school. I was already in the Catholic renewal community for 6 years and I thought I was already firm in my relationship with Him and in my prayertime. It turned out, I got dragged down with the environment I was in. It wasn’t easy trying to climb uphill when everyone keeps on going and dragging you down. and I allowed myself to be dragged down. But I guess Jesus knows my struggles and He didn’t allow me to go that far away from Him. There wasn’t anything dramatic to what He did. He just spoke to my heart and in turn, I responded by stepping out in faith. And almost everybody turned their back on me because I know they couldn’t understand what was happening to me. I have never felt more alone in my life but more than that, I have never felt more joyful than just by being in His arms again. Now, whenever I try to do things for Him first (going to mass rather than conferences or late night outs) even if I do that all alone, I don’t care about what they’ll say because nothing compares than being in the presence of my God knowing me and accepting me as I am. It hasn’t been an easy journey for me. I don’t know how they see me now (maybe a freak, too) but I never explained myself. God alone is my my vindication.
Yes, we are alone but whenever we all come before our God, it is like praying ‘alone together’ wherever we may be. And with that thought, I hope your loneliness and feeling of alone-ness would eventually be healed.
I have posted a sharing here. Just see my profile. I’d like to uplift you. Thank you, too, for sharing this feeling.
Godbless You.

thanks for that wonderful post… which i could have (mostly ) written myself…

the closer i get to Christ, the more “aloen” i am, people- wise… but i figure, if they were really friends (family) they would not abandon me just because i love Jesus… so much… Anyway, there’s more to that but i am running out of time.

I don’t relate so well with much of what is said on CAF but i really related to al you said…

i feel sorry for Catholics (and others) who do not spend time with Jesus and the Poor souls (who are There with him) while still in this life… because one does one’s Purg There… or that is how i feel… and i think my feelings are right on… it stands to reason that if the Poor souls are There at the Tabernacle, one is with them in Purg… and so, your soul gets cleansed along with theirs… and like you say… you are going uphill and people in the world are trying to drag you down… and you are dragged down even when/if you don’t see it or feel it… it takes being with Jesus to even see this kind ofthing (clearly)… Scary… !!!

But necessary… I had to be with Jesus for hours the other day just to see that there was this one (seemingly subtle) sin in my life… something i did not see as sin while outside his presence… Weird… I mean, i kind of a had a clue that there was (objectively speaking) sin involved… but it became abundantly clear when in his presence… and not only that, but being There helped me to get … through the situation in my head / heart… so that maybe now i am strong enough to not be… so “taken” as i was before…

I hope you can understand this… I am probably not going to have time to edit it…

But anyway… God bless…