Do you struggle with how much time you spend online?

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baltobetsy

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Let’s talk about our time on CAF. Is it a moral issue for you? I just read an interesting article about our time online, and it got me thinking.

How much time do you spend on CAF? Are you content with that, or do you think it should be more or less? Do you think are addicted? Do you consider it your personal apostolate? Do you bring it to confession? Did you give it up for Lent? And what about charity - do you find yourself thinking badly of others or arguing with them? Have you become more or less cynical and critical of others? Or do you learn a lot and find ways to be kind?

For me, it eats up four or five hours a day. I bring it up in confession every time, but, curiously, the priest keeps telling me it might be a good thing. I’m sure he means in moderation, which I have not achieved yet.

The first thing I do when I get home after an errand or work is to see what’s on CAF. That’s what makes me think I’m addicted. That and the fact that I hide it from others - I’ll close the window right away if DH comes into the room so he doesn’t know how nuts I am for it. I open up Stuff On My Cat instead.

Now, I’ve only got a little over 1300 posts, but there are people here with 10 times that. If I’m on for 5 hours a day, how long does it take to post 13,000? I guess that has more to do with the ratio of time spent reading to time spent posting. I do read more than I post.

So, what about you?

Betsy
 
If you’re spending five hours a day, that might be a little much.

I would suggest you pick up a copy of Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross and read the first ten or so pages. You’ll discover that this forum is hang out for a particular group of people at a particular stage in their faith journey.

You might also consider stepping away from this site for a few days to gauge the severity of the addiction.
 
StCsDavid said:
If you’re spending five hours a day, that might be a little much.

I would suggest you pick up a copy of Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross and read the first ten or so pages. You’ll discover that this forum is hang out for a particular group of people at a particular stage in their faith journey.

You might also consider stepping away from this site for a few days to gauge the severity of the addiction.
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I just got that book!!! For this very reason!!! I have noticed I spend too much time on Diaperswappers and so I’ve started to pull away from that. But now I’m on CAF more and I can see the same pattern emerging. I have an addictive nature so I’m always swap one addiction for another. (thankfully none of them are alcohol or drugs)

But I’m glad you mentioned this book… I’m now even MORE encouraged and motivated to read it! Thanks!!!
 
baltobetsy said:
Let’s talk about our time on CAF. Is it a moral issue for you? I just read an interesting article about our time online, and it got me thinking.

How much time do you spend on CAF? Are you content with that, or do you think it should be more or less? Do you think are addicted? Do you consider it your personal apostolate? Do you bring it to confession? Did you give it up for Lent? And what about charity - do you find yourself thinking badly of others or arguing with them? Have you become more or less cynical and critical of others? Or do you learn a lot and find ways to be kind?

For me, it eats up four or five hours a day. I bring it up in confession every time, but, curiously, the priest keeps telling me it might be a good thing. I’m sure he means in moderation, which I have not achieved yet.

The first thing I do when I get home after an errand or work is to see what’s on CAF. That’s what makes me think I’m addicted. That and the fact that I hide it from others - I’ll close the window right away if DH comes into the room so he doesn’t know how nuts I am for it. I open up Stuff On My Cat instead.

Now, I’ve only got a little over 1300 posts, but there are people here with 10 times that. If I’m on for 5 hours a day, how long does it take to post 13,000? I guess that has more to do with the ratio of time spent reading to time spent posting. I do read more than I post.

So, what about you?

Betsy
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Hi Betsy;

I feel like I’m entering the Confessional.😃
I sometimes struggle with it. There are weeks I don’t get on much…other weeks, like lately…I find I’m on more. For me, I really like this board…I find that I’m learning so much–and have met some very nice people…but, also, I avoid tasks by being online. I think we sometimes deceive ourselves into thinking we are accomplishing ‘something’ by typing Catholic advice to our brothers and sisters in Christ. And we are, don’t get me wrong. But, I think…I bet I’d be completely done with packing for our upcoming trip if I didn’t spend the past few weeks the way I have–online.

I would think anything that is overdone, and potentially creates sloth, can be considered entering into a ‘sin zone.’:o
 
I would have to say that I do and I don’t. I guess once I get caught up in something, I realize that I have spend the better part of the day at work going to CAF, then logging off, then going back.

But I realize that I do not go to many other websites when I am on the internet. And being 800 miles away from my family, I am guessing that there are worse things that I could be doing.

Besides, I like CAF and I love to spend time here growing in my faith. Bottom line, I would have to toss my chip into the “No” hat for this one.
 
How do I know I am addicted? Because I don’t look at the clock.
I forget everything else, nothing else matters, it can all wait till
I am done. And when will I be done? I don’t know, when I’m too
tired I guess. Sometimes I do think I am helped and am helping
others and that’s what keeps me coming back. But mainly I think that I just only am interested in talking about the heavenly or spiritual things and this is a nice safe place to come to do just that.

I have already given up TV for lent twice and learned that it didn’t
cause more family time or cause more things to get done. If you
want to do something, you just have to do it on purpose, you
can’t blame it on the TV or the internet.
 
At this time in my life, no.

I had ankle surgery on March 19, and for the past two months, have been under doctor’s orders to rest and not put full weight on my foot.

For the first month, I had to be in bed at least 18 hours each day with my foot elevated and iced.

After the first month, I was able to up for longer hours, but I still have to keep the foot up and iced as much as possible.

I don’t mind, actually. I write, and I have finished two screenplays, another ice skating novel, and I’m working hard on a thriller novel that I hope to submit to Catholic publishers (and be rejected because there’s too much sex (married) in it–oh, well! It’s my attempt to provide an alternative to Da Vinci Code that Christians, especially Catholics, can enjoy).

I’ve sent out a dozen query letters to film agents, hoping to find someone to represent my screenplays. Gotten back a couple of “Write me again in two months” replies, which is encouraging. They’re not outright rejections.

I’ve also read at least a book a week, long books that I’ve had sitting on the shelf since Christmas for this convalescence.

I’ve watched all of Season 8 of X-Files (a gift from my daughter, because I love Robert Patrick). And I’ve watched endless reruns of Jeremy Brett’s Sherlock Holmes DVDs.

CAF and several other forums are part of my days, too. I spend a couple of hours per day online, sometimes more if my foot is swollen.

In a few months when I’m back at work, this time will drop drastically.

But for now, it’s fun and informative for me.

I just wish that the internet had been so accessible during the time that my dear mom was still alive. She was invalid due to rheumatoid arthritis, and I think she would have loved going online and visiting websites and forums.
 
"Do you struggle with how much time you spend online? "

Yes. I’m addicted.
 
baltobetsy said:
How much time do you spend on CAF? Are you content with that, or do you think it should be more or less? Do you think are addicted? Do you consider it your personal apostolate? Do you bring it to confession? Did you give it up for Lent? And what about charity - do you find yourself thinking badly of others or arguing with them? Have you become more or less cynical and critical of others? Or do you learn a lot and find ways to be kind?
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Great thread topic. I go back and forth on this. I spend a lot of time here; some days too much.

I gave it up for Lent and Advent in the past. I rarely watch t.v. so this is most of my “screen time”. I read more books when I’m not on CA forums. But I also watch more tv and visit less noble internet sites when I cut back on CA forums.

I confess “too much computer”, but I don’t name CA forums by name, even though this is the vast majority of my computer use. I’d like more spiritual guidance on how much is appropriate, but I don’t really want to ask for it.:o I generally restricting myself to only checking a few areas helps me keep it in balance, (Family Life and Moral Theology are my favorite areas.) I usually post on a couple threads each day.

I consider CA somewhat of a combination entertaining pastime/outreach/fellowship. I’m a stay at home mom with several young children, plus I homeschool. Because of my obligation to my family, I don’t have many opportunities to serve the Church or to socialize much. Participating in CA forums helps me feel a bit more connected to the larger Church. There are a number of other posters whose posts I really enjoy reading and with whom I feel a sort of “friendship” even though we don’t know each other IRL. I do need to be careful that my discussions of “Family Life” and “Moral Theology” don’t get in the way of my real family and morality.

On the charity and cynicism front, I hope I manage that okay. I think I generally do. Arguments and debates definitely are prevalent here. I tend to take the kindest possible interpretation of what someone says or does, (to the point where some may think I am naïve, but I do know that the kindest possible interpretation may not be accurate.) I also use the pre-view and edit buttons a lot, which help me formulate my thoughts more coherently and I hope more charitably.

I recognize a few tell tale signs every that I’m on my computer too much. My kids walk past me when I’m in the kitchen to look for me on the computer because they usually find me here if I’m not with them. Just this morning in a conversation with my husband, I found myself wishing I could hit the “quote button” to show him what he just said. Hubby might like it if I spoke with a little feature that told me my “post” exceeded 5,000 words.:yawn: Yes, written communication offers some advantages to the spoken word. Another poster once shared with me that she thinks us heavy CA users were writers at heart. Probably true.
 
I probably spend way too much time online, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m addicted. It’s more of a habitual thing, and something I do because it doesn’t come with any of the obstacles other things I’m interested have.

Again, I wouldn’t say “addicted” because when I’m forced to live without the internet but still have plenty of things to do I usually do just fine and don’t experience very strong withdrawals or anything.
 
baltobetsy said:
…The first thing I do when I get home after an errand or work is to see what’s on CAF. That’s what makes me think I’m addicted. That and the fact that I hide it from others - I’ll close the window right away if DH comes into the room so he doesn’t know how nuts I am for it. I open up Stuff On My Cat instead.
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:rotfl: LOL I just opened that site! LOL :rotfl:

Betsy, you might want to just go ahead and keep CAF open, as oppose to that CATolic site. If your husband thinks you spend as much time on “Stuff On My Cat” as you spend on this forum, he probably thinks your nuts. 😉
 
gardenswithkids said:
:rotfl: LOL I just opened that site! LOL :rotfl:

Betsy, you might want to just go ahead and keep CAF open, as oppose to that CATolic site. If your husband thinks you spend as much time on “Stuff On My Cat” as you spend on this forum, he probably thinks your nuts. 😉
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I am not sure if this a good or a bad thing, but my wife and I share in the addiction to CAF. We both post here and then when we are not posting, we are talking about it.
 
gardenswithkids said:
:rotfl: LOL I just opened that site! LOL :rotfl:

Betsy, you might want to just go ahead and keep CAF open, as oppose to that CATolic site. If your husband thinks you spend as much time on “Stuff On My Cat” as you spend on this forum, he probably thinks your nuts. 😉
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He already knows I’m nuts, especially about cats! He very kindly participates in my cat nuttiness.

Betsy
 
I have no struggle what so ever, it is my brain or intellectual time. I work a very brainless job. do other brainless steuff that I have to do when I get home. I need something interesting in my day or Id go nuts.
 
Only 16 responses in 4 days? .:confused: I hoped more would share if this was a struggle or not.

As I wrote earlier, I go back and forth on this issue. I see it as a sort of outreach and fellowship, but maybe I should just get pay more attention to my own family and friends.

One thing that I did was select a prayer for my homepage–that way I at least pray before I come to this forum to talk about Catholicism. I know my prayer life was stronger before I found this place, and I definately used to read more books.

I picked up a spritual book I have yet to finish reading and I ran into this quote tonight. Thomas A Kempis in Meeting the Master in His Garden: How Jesus Cultivates Our Souls (the book I got my signature line from):
The devout who wants to serve Christ and please the heavenly spouse should make it his aim to conquer his vices, to study and write books who pages can be turned by hand, to pray frequently and spend his leisure time with God. He should flee the craziness of crowds and relish their secret rendezvous. He shouldn’t express opinions aboout things that don’t concern him, nor should he be upset about things injurious to his own reputation.

I highlighted here the parts that really stuck out to me as they pertain to my use of this forum. Then, of course, I ran over here to post it and discuss it. 😛 I should probably get off the computer back to reading that book. Anyway, I’m really glad baltobetsy started this thread and I would like to read more thoughts from others, so I’m bumping it back up.
 
I have had my more active weeks on CAF and my less active. I HAVE confessed my more “active” weeks b/c they were sinful b/c I chose CAF over other, more important things. I also told my confessor that I was spending too much time on a Catholic website (secretly hoping he’d say that it was not a sin b/c it’s Catholic). He cautioned me that even though the site is good, too much time spent on the internet (or any media form) is bad when one does not do the things one must (like praying more, getting proper sleep - I just came from adoration, otherwise I wouldn’t be posting now - etc.). I don’t know if this helps, but I thought I’d let you know that your confessor most likely will not give you a pass (aka, it’s not a sin b/c it’s Catholic) about too much time on CAF or any other form of media for that matter.
 
I’ve already voted, but I would like to add something to this discussion.

I’m 50 years old.

When I was a kid, the primary recreation of most families was TALKING.

I can remember Sundays spent driving to various friends’ and relatives’ houses for “visits.” We would arrive, and there would be other friends or relatives, often sitting around in those metal lawnchairs, and the grown ups would spend the entire afternoon TALKING (while we kids ran and played).

I can still hear them saying it: “Sit a spell and talk.”

Holidays were TALKING days. The entire family would gather in the living room after the dinner and talk talk talk talk TALK TALK TALK!

When he still lived in the city, my dad used to go down to the donut shop almost every morning and sit and TALK with a bunch of other men who did the same thing.

My mom used to sit around with the neighbors and spend a whole morning talking while my brother and I played in the yard with all the other kids. My mom also used to call her friends on the phone, or they would call her, and they would talk for an hour at a time.

My mom and dad would take road trips and spend the whole drive, hours and hours, talking. If there were other grownups in the car, they would talk and talk.

All this talking covered a huge gamut of subjects. Often religion was a topic in our family. Politics, economics, the Viet Nam war, current events in our city, some sports (our family was into figure skating, believe it or not), school things, rearing of children, work, cars, building stuff, crops and livestock (many of my relatives, including my dad, farmed), movie and television stars, etc.

I can remember a family picnic where my brother and I were called upon to act out the various television commercials that we had memorized–it must have been hilarious for older relatives to see two little kids acting out the Phillips Milk of Magnesia laxative commercial. They had us do it over and over. My brother and I felt like big shots!

But then modern times came. My husband and I grew up and had kids and we filled our days and evenings and nights and early mornings with ACTIVITY and WORK and RECREATION (like skating lessons, ballet lessons, music lessons, etc). No time for idle talk with people other than our own family. Waste of time. Phone call? Just let the answering machine take it. Visits? Well, we’ll try to make it to the Family Christmas Party. Lawn parties? It’s not safe in our neighborhood to sit out on the lawn and chat. Besides, the kids have a lot of homework and we haven’t had sex in a month and we have to finish re-organizing our family photo album (which no one ever looks at except us)…

You get the idea? Nowadays, just sitting around and talking is the kind of thing that only yayhoos do. Not modern busy people.

And I think that’s sad.

But now there’s ONLINE forums. We’re all TALKING again. If you close your eyes, you can almost picture the metal lawn chairs and grandma and Aunt Myrtle and crazy Cousin Robert and that slow boy, Chris, and, oh,my, there’s the pastor dropping by for a visit, I’ll run in the house and grab some more cookies and lemonade!

It’s wonderful! I just wish my mother had lived to see it, because she loved to talk so much I think she would have been online line 22 hours a day (she couldn’t sleep much with her arthritis). I think she would have learned to type with her nose just to be able to TALK to people again, other than nurses and doctors.

In fact, talking is more fun than ever with online, because it used to be that we talked mainly with people like us–our relatives, friends, church pals, work associates, etc. Now we can talk with people of different races, religions, backgrounds, intellectual levels, nationalities, etc. It’s great!

WHAT is so bad about spending hours just talking to each other?

We USED to do it, back in the OLD days. If you weren’t talking online right now, what would you be doing? Talking to REAL people out on your lawn? Well, if that’s the case, you probably should sign off now. But for most of us, it’s been forty years since we took the time to sit out on the lawn and TALK to people. This forum (and others) are my “front lawn,” or “my living room” or “my phone calls from friends.” I just wish I had more time to “sit a spell” and talk.
 
Going online on a website like this is fine, especially if you a learning more about your faith. I have learnt quite a lot on this forum and ewtn.com. The issue relates to your intentions. Are you looking for some of the gossipy threads or sexuality morality threads out of boredom etc. You’ll know what I mean I hope. Also, problems come up when you start getting addicted to the Net itself and go searching through the dark places on it. Anyway, my :twocents:
 
Cat said:
I’ve already voted, but I would like to add something to this discussion.

I’m 50 years old.

When I was a kid, the primary recreation of most families was TALKING.

I can remember Sundays spent driving to various friends’ and relatives’ houses for “visits.” We would arrive, and there would be other friends or relatives, often sitting around in those metal lawnchairs, and the grown ups would spend the entire afternoon TALKING (while we kids ran and played).

I can still hear them saying it: “Sit a spell and talk.” …
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Thank you Cat. That whole post was very insightful. Yes, my desire to “talk” to other grown ups is definately a big reason I come here, especially while my kids run around at play. Maybe we should to decorate our computer rooms with lawn furniture.🙂
 
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