Do you think my mom is desperate to keep me away from the Catholic church and in her?

[confusedgirl]

So my mom is very anti catholic and doesn’t want me having any part in it well which isnt really news but what she did this morning was just… peculiar. So out of the ordinary she decided to pray over me. Not for me in her bedroom, she came in my room on my bed and threw herself on me and started praying over me. Funny thing is my mom rarely prays since she goes to work and is busy most of the time but I didnt move but i listened to what she said.

It was something along the lines of “send your angel and reveal yourself. Help her to know where she’s come from and help her remember where shes come from.” I actually tried texting my neighbour for help because he knows my beliefs and how my mom can’t accept my catholic faith at all. It’s funny because when all was said and done everything she prayed for has already happened.

All my years of going to church with my mom has really only gotten me so far. Every church she chooses its as if everyone is playing church and people just want to be seen. For a while i was like that till God pulled me back to his church. I was baptized in her church that didn’t even believe in the trinity so I can’t even call it a valid baptism. She also prayed that God use me and that people see a difference in me that sets me apart from everyone else.

Its almost as if she doesn’t see the growth in my faith since I started practicing my Catholic faith. She said I’m not allowed to be Catholic in her house so she makes me go to church and do alter calls and everything but i actually refused to go for any alter calls because i felt like I would be me abandoning my faith just to please my mom and I refuse to go back to playing church again. The longer I go without the sacraments the less fight for my faith i feel like i have. And i feel she knows that if she has the power to keep me from my faith that i will eventually break down and do what she says. Oh boy this is starting to get rough… do you think I’m just overthinking or that my mom is actually trying to force my faith away and even prayed to God that it happen?

 

[Bob_Crowley]

Going on what you’ve said, it’s pretty obvious she can’t, or won’t, accept the fact you believe the Catholic Church is closest to the truth, and that’s where you’re heading. Some Protestants have weird ideas at times, and they really have a distorted idea of the Catholic faith.

Even my old Protestant pastor said to me on one occasion, “Protestants tell a lot of lies about Catholics and the Catholic Church”, and “Protestants can be quite arrogant about Catholicism.”

I’m not sure what you can do about it, but persevere. She’s not going to change her mind overnight.

2 Peter 1:5-7 [5] For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; [6] and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; [7] and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

 

[JRKH]

Go into her room tomorrow morning and throw yourself across her and pray over her in the same manner that she “prayed over you”…

Just kidding - - - -

Not knowing your age or circumstances it’s difficult to give any specific advice.

I believe you mother is doing what she believes to be right in order to bring you nearer to God. Of course as you say, she is not aware that this is already happening.

The next time she says that you are “not allowed to be Catholic in her house”…reply that you ARE Catholic, no matter where you are. Being Catholic is not something you put on and take off.

About the only thing we can really counsel you to do is to persevere. It is sad that she is keeping you away from the sacraments and that this causes you to feel weakened.
Can you stream the mass on your computer? You say that she is often working and away. This would be one way to participate in the Sacraments - this is often done by those who are shut in.

As for her forcing you to attend her church…That’s a toughie. Do the best you can. She may need to learn that she can force you to accompany her…but she can’t force you to not be Catholic.

One thing I would suggest though - I would tell her kindly but firmly - that while you would happily pray with her she had better not ever throw herself on top of you again.

Peace
James

 

[mikecash]

If there ever was a post I could sympathize with! My Mom is an evangelical protestant. I’m a law student and live at home. I believe that we may be in somewhat of a similar situation.

When I told her I was becoming Catholic, lets just say she had a negative reaction. Generally, she would pull out her bible and read things that she felt were against Catholicism. Haha, fast forward a year later and she has come a long way. I like the socratic method because it tends to ease tension. When she would bring up something outlandish, I would respectfully say, “Why do you think that?” I then would reply to whatever she said by saying, “Well, do you think it could mean X instead of that?” Ultimately, she got over her anti-Catholic bias over time by me explaining misunderstandings she had. She now respects the Catholic Church. We pray together, which helps. In the end, I consider it a blessing that my Mom pulled out all the usual attacks on Catholicism on me. It pushed me to learn the Faith that much more.

I think the Catechism is very helpful in this situation:

2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

I believe it is Father Mitch Pacwa who tells a great story about when he told his father he was going to become a Priest. His dad was angry and said, “Go be a doctor if you want to help people. I will cut you out of my will if you become a Priest.” Father Mitch said, “Dad, if I’m going to be a Priest, I won’t need the money,” and the day Father Mitch celebrated his first Mass, his father did, in fact, cut him out of his will. He still loved his Dad though.

The worst thing you can do is be disrespectful to your Mom. Don’t forget the Enemy will sometimes use people we love to get to us. Converts can experience awful spiritual warfare. I certainly have. Show your mom love as our Lord commands, but don’t stop seeking the Truth. God is with you! I will pray for you.

 

[Allegra]

Phrases like “remember where you came from” are generally a thinly veiled guilt trip. The best course of action, in my opinion, is to ignore the antics and ask you mom if there is something she wants to speak to you about directly. This episode reminds me of a time where I was working at a summer camp and one of the individuals I was supposed to be supervising turned out to be a complete nut who threw raging temper tantrums anytime she didn’t get her way. One day I told her to stop whining and do her job and she responded by throwing her arms in the air and saying, “Lord Jesus, help me to keep from killing this woman.” I informed her that she had just threatened to kill me. She told me, no, she was praying. Needless to say, she was gone within the hour. You might point out to your mom that fake praying out loud in order to criticize another person could easily be seen as a violation of the commandment about “taking the Lord’s name in vain.” But if you want to avoid being seen as a smart aleck, you could just take the direct route and ask her if there is something bothering her that she needs to discuss.

 

[MJJean]

Since your mom is gone working and such is there any way for you to go to a nearby Catholic church to attend a Mass and receive Sacraments? Also, if possible, talk to the priest while there.

Have you thought about explaining the situation to your mothers pastor and asking that he/she help you? Most pastors are decent people who respect other faiths and want to help a young person grow and deepen their faith in God regardless of what religion they are. If the pastor is not one of those you could simply refuse to perform your alter person duties in front of the whole congregation. When they ask why you simply tell them you are Catholic and do not feel comfortable.

I was always a bit headstrong as a youngster. In your situation I’d have literally stood up at mom’s church and told everyone to please be happy for me as I have been called by God and am converting to Catholicism.

 

[1ke]

How old are you?

 

[Marysann]

Dear confusedgirl, your mother’s prayers are being answered, and she just doesn’t know it! She is praying that God will send an angel to show you the truth. If God did send an angel show you the truth, where would this truth be found? In the Catholic Church, of course, the Church founded by Christ Himself. If the angel revealed to you where you came from, where would that be? The Catholic Church, of course, the original Church, founded by Christ Himself. Your mother’s church broke off from the true Church at some point in history. You can see where I am going with this! You can assure your mother that God has heard her prayers.

Now for your present situation. You must obey the Third Commandment in different ways depending on your age and state in life. If you are under 18, you must obey your mother, even if it means going to her church on Sundays. You can pray and study the Catholic faith in the privacy of your room, as your mother does not have the authority to control your conscience. The Lord understands this. As long as you live in your mother’s house and are financially supported by her you must show her respect, but if you are of age you may join the Catholic Church. Speak to the local priest about your situation. He will have encountered it before, and will be able to give you advise as to how to handle it. No matter what, do not rub religion in your mother’s face. Live as a joyful Catholic. Help your mother around the house without her asking, and try to make life more pleasant for everyone in the family. If you are a student, study hard and get good grades. This will help you to prepare for your future, whatever it may be. Also Catholics try to imitate Jesus who did all things well. Above all, exercise the virtue of patience because in a matter of time you will be able to establish yourself in your own home, and this situation will resolve itself.

 

[Starrsmother]

So my mom is very anti catholic and doesn’t want me having any part in it well which isnt really news but what she did this morning was just… peculiar. So out of the ordinary she decided to pray over me. Not for me in her bedroom, she came in my room on my bed and threw herself on me and started praying over me. Funny thing is my mom rarely prays since she goes to work and is busy most of the time but I didnt move but i listened to what she said.

It was something along the lines of “send your angel and reveal yourself. Help her to know where she’s come from and help her remember where shes come from.” I actually tried texting my neighbour for help because he knows my beliefs and how my mom can’t accept my catholic faith at all. It’s funny because when all was said and done everything she prayed for has already happened.

All my years of going to church with my mom has really only gotten me so far. Every church she chooses its as if everyone is playing church and people just want to be seen. For a while i was like that till God pulled me back to his church. I was baptized in her church that didn’t even believe in the trinity so I can’t even call it a valid baptism. She also prayed that God use me and that people see a difference in me that sets me apart from everyone else.

Its almost as if she doesn’t see the growth in my faith since I started practicing my Catholic faith. She said I’m not allowed to be Catholic in her house so she makes me go to church and do alter calls and everything but i actually refused to go for any alter calls because i felt like I would be me abandoning my faith just to please my mom and I refuse to go back to playing church again. The longer I go without the sacraments the less fight for my faith i feel like i have. And i feel she knows that if she has the power to keep me from my faith that i will eventually break down and do what she says. Oh boy this is starting to get rough… do you think I’m just overthinking or that my mom is actually trying to force my faith away and even prayed to God that it happen?

Just for perspective–how old are you?

 

[Marysann]

Oops! I meant that you need to obey the Fourth Commandment, not the Third (well,you have to obey that too, but that isn’t the issue here). Don’t show this to your mother, she will think that Catholics don’t know the commandments.