Do You Think This Behaviour Is Disrespectful During Mass?

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Dempsey1919

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I attended Mass today as usual and sat in my regular pew. When I arrived, I noticed a man sitting in my pew who I did not recognise. I knelt down and began praying before the Mass began. The other gentleman just sat and read the Mass sheet.

When Father entered the Sanctuary and began saying Mass, the man next to me began saying the prayers along with the priest in a very weird voice. This individual clearly did not know or understand Latin; he couldn’t even pronounce the words! For some reason, I found this very irritating and very offensive. He kept this up for about 10 minutes and I began staring at him in so that he would stop. It worked and he stopped for a little while, but then began doing it again during the Sanctus. I thought he was going to babble during the entire Canon and I felt a strong desire to take his Mass sheet from him. I stared at him again and he eventually stopped for good.

I did not want to offend this man, but I think it is inappropriate for him to babble during Mass; he was not praying or participating in the Mass; he was babbling incoherently trying to pronounce the Latin. Do you think I was wrong to stare at him in order to stop him doing this?

I feel somewhat guilty for my behaviour, but at the same time, I think this man’s behaviour was unacceptable and disrespectful, not to mention inconsiderate.

I can’t figure out why he decided to read the prayers alongside the priest, but I am sure I heard him laugh under his breath when we all knelt during the canon (he remained seated in his pew).

Was my behaviour sinful. Should I confess this to my priest?
 
Dempsey1919 said:
I attended Mass today as usual and sat in my regular pew. When I arrived, I noticed a man sitting in my pew who I did not recognise. I knelt down and began praying before the Mass began. The other gentleman just sat and read the Mass sheet.

When Father entered the Sanctuary and began saying Mass, the man next to me began saying the prayers along with the priest in a very weird voice. This individual clearly did not know or understand Latin; he couldn’t even pronounce the words! For some reason, I found this very irritating and very offensive. He kept this up for about 10 minutes and I began staring at him in so that he would stop. It worked and he stopped for a little while, but then began doing it again during the Sanctus. I thought he was going to babble during the entire Canon and I felt a strong desire to take his Mass sheet from him. I stared at him again and he eventually stopped for good.

I did not want to offend this man, but I think it is inappropriate for him to babble during Mass; he was not praying or participating in the Mass; he was babbling incoherently trying to pronounce the Latin. Do you think I was wrong to stare at him in order to stop him doing this?

I feel somewhat guilty for my behaviour, but at the same time, I think this man’s behaviour was unacceptable and disrespectful, not to mention inconsiderate.

I can’t figure out why he decided to read the prayers alongside the priest, but I am sure I heard him laugh under his breath when we all knelt during the canon (he remained seated in his pew).

Was my behaviour sinful. Should I confess this to my priest?
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Dempsey, the only thing to confess, perhaps, would be your assumption that this man intended disrespect. He may been attending Mass for the first time (since you didn’t recognize him) and didn’t know the “procedure”, or he might have some mental difficulties that make his actions impulsive without the intent of being disrespectful or distracting.

Hope that helps. 🙂
 
Dempsey1919 said:
I attended Mass today as usual and sat in my regular pew. When I arrived, I noticed a man sitting in my pew who I did not recognise. I knelt down and began praying before the Mass began. The other gentleman just sat and read the Mass sheet.

When Father entered the Sanctuary and began saying Mass, the man next to me began saying the prayers along with the priest in a very weird voice. This individual clearly did not know or understand Latin; he couldn’t even pronounce the words! For some reason, I found this very irritating and very offensive. He kept this up for about 10 minutes and I began staring at him in so that he would stop. It worked and he stopped for a little while, but then began doing it again during the Sanctus. I thought he was going to babble during the entire Canon and I felt a strong desire to take his Mass sheet from him. I stared at him again and he eventually stopped for good.

I did not want to offend this man, but I think it is inappropriate for him to babble during Mass; he was not praying or participating in the Mass; he was babbling incoherently trying to pronounce the Latin. Do you think I was wrong to stare at him in order to stop him doing this?

I feel somewhat guilty for my behaviour, but at the same time, I think this man’s behaviour was unacceptable and disrespectful, not to mention inconsiderate.

I can’t figure out why he decided to read the prayers alongside the priest, but I am sure I heard him laugh under his breath when we all knelt during the canon (he remained seated in his pew).

Was my behaviour sinful. Should I confess this to my priest?
Click to expand...
It really sounds to me like he may have some mental difficulties. Personally, I would have concentrated on the Mass instead of staring at him. Why let someone else make you miss part of Mass?
 
It sounds to me, from your account, that his poor soul has some mental health issues. What I would do next time is just find another place to sit at mass! I pray that the Lord helps him overcome his struggles and find peace.
 
Oops, I forgot to say that I also have a pew that is my fav, and when someone else beats me to it, I’m all discomboobilated!!! I think this is behavior leftover from sitting in desks in school - and I teach high school in the same school I graduated from - talk about being in a rut, LOL;)
 
Dempsey1919 said:
I I did not want to offend this man, but I think it is inappropriate for him to babble during Mass; he was not praying or participating in the Mass; he was babbling incoherently trying to pronounce the Latin. Do you think I was wrong to stare at him in order to stop him doing this?

I feel somewhat guilty for my behaviour, but at the same time, I think this man’s behaviour was unacceptable and disrespectful, not to mention inconsiderate.

I can’t figure out why he decided to read the prayers alongside the priest, but I am sure I heard him laugh under his breath when we all knelt during the canon (he remained seated in his pew).

Was my behaviour sinful. Should I confess this to my priest?
Click to expand...
well how about we decline to judge your behavior, if you decline to judge this man. For all you know he a)has never been to a Latin Mass, and thought the reason the card or missal was in the pew was for the purpose of following along and he thought he was doing the right thing. He might have wondered why you were not speaking the words.
or b) he has never been to Mass at all, and thought the same thing, that the material in the pew was provided for the congregation’s use and was trying to do and say the right thing

or c) he has a mental disability of somekind and simply wandered in and talked and acted under the influence of that burden.
or any of a number of other explanations.

Why should we jump to the conclusion that his actions were motivated by a sinful intention?

what is it today with all the threads initiated by people who have been put out and let their worship be disturbed the actions of other people at Mass. And please provide the church document or link to the Vatican website that says if you sit in the same seat two weeks in a row you have a legal title to a time-share for that seat for “your” Mass every week.
 
puzzleannie said:
well how about we decline to judge your behavior, if you decline to judge this man. For all you know he a)has never been to a Latin Mass, and thought the reason the card or missal was in the pew was for the purpose of following along and he thought he was doing the right thing. He might have wondered why you were not speaking the words.
or b) he has never been to Mass at all, and thought the same thing, that the material in the pew was provided for the congregation’s use and was trying to do and say the right thing

or c) he has a mental disability of somekind and simply wandered in and talked and acted under the influence of that burden.
or any of a number of other explanations.

Why should we jump to the conclusion that his actions were motivated by a sinful intention?

what is it today with all the threads initiated by people who have been put out and let their worship be disturbed the actions of other people at Mass. And please provide the church document or link to the Vatican website that says if you sit in the same seat two weeks in a row you have a legal title to a time-share for that seat for “your” Mass every week.
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Puzzleannie, I agree with you. Unless someone is kicking the back of your pew, or is talking out loud during Mass, our attention must solely be fixed on the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Jesus is on the alter, whom I will then receive in the Holy Eucharist. Life doesn’t get much better than that.
 
Gosh Dempsey, as the mother of an adult child with psychotic mental disorder, my first thought upon reading your post was that the poor man was not acting of his own accord. God bless him. Statistically, one in every five people you meet has a mental disorder, so if there are 200 people at mass you can count on 40 of them having a mental illness. If you should encounter him again, I hope you can offer him a welcoming smile and offer up a fervent prayer for his well-being.

I’m a cradle Catholic that has just returned to the church after a 45 year lapse. I know I do the wrong thing at the wrong time, my responses are incorrect at times, but I know that God doesn’t care as much as the people around me do. I’m trying.
 
kozlosap said:
Oops, I forgot to say that I also have a pew that is my fav, and when someone else beats me to it, I’m all discomboobilated!!! I think this is behavior leftover from sitting in desks in school - and I teach high school in the same school I graduated from - talk about being in a rut, LOL;)
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You’re not the crotchety lady who kicks the rosary group out of their seats because she thinks she has permanent dibs on her own pew, are you? forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=476725
 
puzzleannie said:
well how about we decline to judge your behavior, if you decline to judge this man. For all you know he a)has never been to a Latin Mass, and thought the reason the card or missal was in the pew was for the purpose of following along and he thought he was doing the right thing. He might have wondered why you were not speaking the words.
or b) he has never been to Mass at all, and thought the same thing, that the material in the pew was provided for the congregation’s use and was trying to do and say the right thing

or c) he has a mental disability of somekind and simply wandered in and talked and acted under the influence of that burden.
or any of a number of other explanations.

Why should we jump to the conclusion that his actions were motivated by a sinful intention?

what is it today with all the threads initiated by people who have been put out and let their worship be disturbed the actions of other people at Mass. And please provide the church document or link to the Vatican website that says if you sit in the same seat two weeks in a row you have a legal title to a time-share for that seat for “your” Mass every week.
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I agree, Annie - I agree, agree, agree.
 
I suspect that the man in question might have had a mental illness; bring it up in confession anyway. Perhaps the priest knows about the man’s situation and can offer insight.
 
Dempsey1919 said:
I attended Mass today as usual and sat in my regular pew. When I arrived, I noticed a man sitting in my pew who I did not recognise. I knelt down and began praying before the Mass began. The other gentleman just sat and read the Mass sheet.

When Father entered the Sanctuary and began saying Mass, the man next to me began saying the prayers along with the priest in a very weird voice. This individual clearly did not know or understand Latin; he couldn’t even pronounce the words! For some reason, I found this very irritating and very offensive. He kept this up for about 10 minutes and I began staring at him in so that he would stop. It worked and he stopped for a little while, but then began doing it again during the Sanctus. I thought he was going to babble during the entire Canon and I felt a strong desire to take his Mass sheet from him. I stared at him again and he eventually stopped for good.

I did not want to offend this man, but I think it is inappropriate for him to babble during Mass; he was not praying or participating in the Mass; he was babbling incoherently trying to pronounce the Latin. Do you think I was wrong to stare at him in order to stop him doing this?

I feel somewhat guilty for my behaviour, but at the same time, I think this man’s behaviour was unacceptable and disrespectful, not to mention inconsiderate.

I can’t figure out why he decided to read the prayers alongside the priest, but I am sure I heard him laugh under his breath when we all knelt during the canon (he remained seated in his pew).

Was my behaviour sinful. Should I confess this to my priest?
Click to expand...
I know exactly what you’re talking about. In fact, it’s quite common here in the States. A chap will be in Mass minding his own business, and out of no-where some stranger will start babbling like Wayne Gretzky, or Desi Arnaz, or heaven forbid, Mick Jagger…
 
Sounds like the guy had some issues but only the Lord knows. Hey, he was in Church for Mass. I’ll give him points for that. I was having breakfast one Saturday with my folks and the woman at the table 2 spots over started laughing and then took a bite of food and then started crying-LOUD. A waitress came over, asked if she was okay and the woman, on a dime, is “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

I can only sympathize with those who are in the same condition, but no, no need to confess THAT. It would’ve wigged me out, but nothing more.
 
just_came_back said:
Sounds like the guy had some issues but only the Lord knows. Hey, he was in Church for Mass. I’ll give him points for that. I was having breakfast one Saturday with my folks and the woman at the table 2 spots over started laughing and then took a bite of food and then started crying-LOUD. A waitress came over, asked if she was okay and the woman, on a dime, is “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

I can only sympathize with those who are in the same condition, but no, no need to confess THAT. It would’ve wigged me out, but nothing more.
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Good points.

A man in my parish is very eccentric and certainly, he has issues.
As far as I know, his “wanderings” bother no one. He hurts no one.
 
Dempsey, at my church there is a family with a young boy who is mentally disabled. He has difficulty sitting still or concentrating so sometimes during Mass he will break free from his parents and wander around the aisle. The parishioners have come to expect this (many will help lead him back to the pew), so I imagine if this man suffers from similar ailments, it may just require the parishioners, yourself included, to adapt accordingly.

Hope this helps. 🙂
 
Well, one thing no one has suggested is that the guy is possessed. Dempsey did hear him laugh under his breath.

One Sunday in the spring I saw a woman with her hair all twisted and sticking out not insanely but certainly odd wearing church clothes striding extremely purposful with her arms swinging down the street toward the Cathedral. We had never seen her before. She sat right up front directly in front of the pulpit and made mouth and handmotions toward the priest all during the Mass. We have a deaf “signer” for the deaf people and it was definately not anything like sign language. One option is she was possessed, a Satanist, or a voodoo person casting spells at the priest. I know that my husband and I just prayed that whatever she was doing would not affect anyone in the church and least of all the priest. After Mass she strode out of church in the same manner. No one has ever seen her again. Maybe this guy could fall into that category. Yes, she could have been mentally ill but there are other options.
 
Thanks for all of the replies. I have decided to bring this up in confession.

I would like to say that I do not moan when people sit next to me in the pew. My Church is always half empty and there are more than enough seats. Most of the time, I am the only one in the pew, so it’s nice to see someone else there. In fact, I wish the Church was filled to capacity. I definitely wouldn’t mind giving up my seat to anyone if they wanted it.

Also, there are a couple of mentally ill parishioners at my Church and we are all very kind and welcoming to them.

I would also like to say that this man did not appear to be mentally ill. I know you can never tell just by looking at someone, but this man had none of the signs. He appeared normal in every respect; in fact, he reminded me of one of my old high school teachers. Other than the fact that he was loudly chanting the prayers incorrectly, he was an an average bloke. My gut instinct is that he was mocking the Mass, and I don’t think he was Catholic because he did not kneel during the Sanctus etc. In all honesty, his behaviour was quite creepy.
 
Remember: The church is a hospital for sinners, not a haven for saints.

Part of the challenges we must overcome are not being overly attached to place, nor overreacting to minor nuisances. Relax, be at peace, and pray the mass.

Now, if he is saying the priests parts, it’s probably ignorance or mental illness, but it might also be a priest beginning to study the Latin Mass, an Eastern Rite priest, or possibly even a laicized priest or visiting priest without local faculties. And many priests don’t know the Latin mass, even those who do read latin.
 
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