Do you think we should shake hands after praying the Our Father at Mass?

[otjm]

I stand corrected. I do remember reading somewhere that this is not to be done, but where?
I apologize.
Thank you for your posts. Keep us straight friend,
Peace,
pianist

I would suspect that it was on a blog where you read it, since it has been a hot topic, off and on, since the 60’s. It certainly continues to come up in this forum as well as the Traditional forum.

Please don’t misunderstand me; I am not promoting it. Depending on who I am sitting next to (usually my sister in law, but sometimes other parishioners) I will end up holding hands if the person next to me wishes to, and I don’t have a cold or allergies. I don’t initiate; but out of simple charity, I will not refuse to hold hands.

My suggestion to those who are uncomfortable with it, is “offer it up” (that mantra from my sainted grandmother). We are there to unite in worship, and charity - love - is the command we receive not only from St Paul, but also from Christ. To refuse someone’s hand to the point of making them angry strikes me as missing a bit of why we are at Mass. That is not to say we are there to hold hands, but rather that we are there to be charitable to one another. Does it seriously disturb my peace when someone reaches out to hold hands? No, not in the least. Perhaps there are some who are seriously disturbed, and I am not imposing it on them. But some just dislike it; I have no problem with the disliking; but I do have a problem with upsetting others.

Because there simply is no rule, we do not have a right to say everyone must hold hands. Neither do we have a right to say that holding hands is wrong. Someone else who insists on holding hands is wrong, but just before Communion is not the time to make a point and exacerbate their attitude.

It would seem much simpler to hold hands, and after Mass, say something to the effect that “While holding hands during the Our Father is not wrong I am a very private person and really uncomfortable with it. I hope that if I sit next to you next time at Mass and don’t hold hands, you will be patient with me. I don’t mean to be uncharitable, and I understand it could be seen that way.”

And smile when saying it. Most people will be fine with that.

Then sit with them next Mass.

Or, suck it up, and offer it up for the poor souls in purgatory. They could use some help.

 

[ProVobis]

However, I don’t really think the holding of hands during the Our Father is particularly of great value in the liturgy because it places an emphasis on physical touch that really isn’t done anywhere else in the mass. So, to me, it seems a bit off.

Precisely. Its only real value is a social one, if that much. It has no bearing on what’s happening at the altar… We are already there in spirit and in body with everyone else present, and a minute away from exchanging peace with them.

 

[pianistclare]

Precisely. Its only real value is a social one, if that much. It has no bearing on what’s happening at the altar… We are already there in spirit and in body with everyone else present, and a minute away from exchanging peace with them.

You know, I always hear people say that at the EF Masses, people are truly praying WITH the priest…do they also hold hands during the Our Father at EF parishes?
What would be the rationale there, if they did?
:coffeeread:

 

[corsair]

I started attending the EF Mass every Sunday and Holy Days over three years ago. We never hold hands. Its just too distracting.

 

[ProVobis]

You know, I always hear people say that at the EF Masses, people are truly praying WITH the priest…do they also hold hands during the Our Father at EF parishes?
What would be the rationale there, if they did?
:coffeeread:

I’ve seen a few raising hands but generally people are spaced too far apart to even consider holding hands. Actually where the crowds are sparse at an OF, they are less likely to be stretching themselves all over the place to hold hands. Not very practical even if they wanted to hold hands.

That said, I don’t see too much hand-holding at Spanish Masses either. Do you find the same?

 

[ELROD]

I don’t know when or why as I am a convert. But, since 2002 and much earlier they have been holding hands during the our father and shaking hands shortly after. I don’t like any of it but what can I do but not hold hands, I just shake.

 

[janeway529]

Actually, I think we should look at the traditional Maronite practice, which extends this sign from the celebrant(s) to the congregation. It is first passed to each aisle member, who in turn extends it to people in his/her aisle. And it’s not really a handshake but a “cupping” of the hands in a pleasant greeting style.

I wonder if the current handshake in the Roman rite is influenced from the Maronite rite?

 

[pianistclare]

I’ve seen a few raising hands but generally people are spaced too far apart to even consider holding hands. Actually where the crowds are sparse at an OF, they are less likely to be stretching themselves all over the place to hold hands. Not very practical even if they wanted to hold hands.

That said, I don’t see too much hand-holding at Spanish Masses either. Do you find the same?

The EF not hand holding doesn’t surprise me…I just wondered.
At our Spanish Mass only the choir holds hands…no one else. But then, they also kneel after the Lamb of God and until the Body of Christ is reposed. Which the English Masses don’t do.

And at our English Masses, people DO run all over. Come to think of it, we move around a lot. They have the people go up to baskets at the altar to give their envelopes and money. No passing of baskets. So movement is really common. At this parish anyway. The pews are really wide…18 per pew section. So, even at well attended Masses, it looks like hardly anyone is there. Those long baskets with handles don’t work, and people always “lose track” of where the basket goes next.

But no, No hand-holding at the Spanish Mass. I don’t really care if others do, but I really take offense when accosted by others. I would prefer that someone just say that hand holding is optional and not forced. I wish they would just say that. Out loud. So people would leave me to pray as I am comfortable. And I’m the friendliest person there, practically. But at Mass, I’m focused. That’s just me.

 

[ProVobis]

I wonder if the current handshake in the Roman rite is influenced from the Maronite rite?

I don’t know, but I’d be interesting in knowing the history of the handshake/exchage/kiss of peace and how it’s evolved to its current seemingly chaotic format.

 

[smichhertz]

… but I really take offense when accosted by others. I would prefer that someone just say that hand holding is optional and not forced. I wish they would just say that. Out loud. So people would leave me to pray as I am comfortable. And I’m the friendliest person there, practically. But at Mass, I’m focused. That’s just me.

Well said!

There’s nothing wrong with hand holding, but it can get a little weird if there’s only one person not doing it. It’s a tricky balance of trying to establish community while being respectful of one another.

I’m honestly not sure what the best resolution is but maybe a reminder to the congregation isn’t a bad idea!

 

[fnr]

I wonder if the current handshake in the Roman rite is influenced from the Maronite rite?

Could well be! The Maronite Qorbono I’ve attended before included an exchange of peace that started with the priest, who passed it to the servers (by clasping hands), who passed it to the first person on the aisle, who passed it on from there. I thought it was an extremely beautiful symbol of the corporate nature of the worship.

I personally very much appreciate the sign of peace. As I’ve said before, in the Catholic Church, for many people, “peace be with you” is all the “Christian fellowship” they ever get. But it seems important to me to include it, to reflect the fact that the first Eucharistic liturgy and most of them for the first three centuries of Christian history were communal meals.

The placement of the Lord’s Prayer and the sign of peace within the anaphora isn’t accidental.

First, the Lord’s Prayer in the Greek NT (Matthew 6 and Luke 11) refers to our epiousios (ἐπιούσιον, which means “trans-substantial”) bread, as opposed to our Anglicized “daily bread.” For Greek-speaking Christians (who were among the very first Christians) the prayer fit directly into the anaphora as a whole… as the church as a whole calling for the Eucharist in the way that Christ taught. To me, holding hands is the best way I’ve seen to emphasize the corporate nature of the Eucharist (in keeping with the dual meaning of “discerning the body” in 1 Corinthians 11:29 as both the transubstantiated bread and the people of the church – the latter of which is Paul’s major concern in the beginning of the chapter).

Second, the sign of peace is an affirmation of the resurrection. In John 20, the resurrected Jesus sends his disciples peace, which is immediately followed by, “as the Father has sent me, so I send you” and his breathing on them (sending the Holy Spirit, the equivalent of the Pentecost in John). Anxiety and peace among Jesus and his followers is a theme throughout John, with Jesus being greatly disturbed (embrimaomai = ἐμβριμάομαι) and troubled (tarasso = ταράσσω) when Mary of Bethany falls at his feet after the death of Lazarus (John 11), “troubled” (ταράσσω)after the Greeks visit him after his his entry into Jerusalem (John 12:27), and “deeply troubled” (ταράσσω) announcing the immanent betrayal of one of his disciples (John 13:21). Jesus tells his disciples prior to his arrest (John 14:1), "do not let your hearts be troubled (ταράσσω). In John 16:33, he tells them that he will be with the Father to bring them peace (eirene = εἰρήνη), and finally in John 20, wishes them peace (εἰρήνη).

To me, the vernacular (English) “low mass” OF, which I know many here would say lack sufficient reverence, is full of ancient and beautiful prayers that remind me that the sacrifice there before me is the same one the disciples witnessed on the night Jesus was arrested. I very much appreciate that connection in a way that I don’t in other languages.

 

[Don9of11]

Yes

No

I would like to clarify my vote now that I see the poll and the post are different. First, no I don’t think we should be holding hands while praying the Our Father at Mass, that’s my personal preference but I’m quite certain the Church does not allow this. Second, the Sign of Peace is acceptable to me, although I think at times of cold flew outbreaks it should be less used but that is up to the local bishop. I use a common sense approach if I have a cold or flew like symptoms and refrain from shaking hands or drinking from the chalice.

 

[ProVobis]

To me, the vernacular (English) “low mass” OF, which I know many here would say lack sufficient reverence, is full of ancient and beautiful prayers that remind me that the sacrifice there before me is the same one the disciples witnessed on the night Jesus was arrested. I very much appreciate that connection in a way that I don’t in other languages.

English isn’t that ancient.

 

[fnr]

English isn’t that ancient.

No, but the prayers themselves are. The anaphora, for example, can be traced back to at least the 2nd Century (the First Apology of Justin Martyr, for example – more eastern rite). The consecration goes back to 1 Corinthians 11.

Language is not liturgy. Latin is the official language of the Church and a beautiful part of the ongoing history of the Church, but it is not the liturgy itself.

 

[ProVobis]

No, but the prayers themselves are. The anaphora, for example, can be traced back to at least the 2nd Century (the First Apology of Justin Martyr, for example – more eastern rite). The consecration goes back to 1 Corinthians 11.

If you heard the original, like the Maronite consecration in Syriac, you may find it’s more pleasing to the ear than any English translation. Just sayin…

 

[fred_conty]

Here is an interesting on hand shaking.

ezinearticles.com/?Shaking-Hands-Throughout-History-and-Around-the-World&id=715550

 

[fnr]

If you heard the original, like the Maronite consecration in Syriac, you may find it’s more pleasing to the ear than any English translation. Just sayin…

I do enjoy the Maronite Divine Liturgy actually. I’ve been to maybe five or six in my life, I think it’s really really cool. I also do the Latin services, but to me, my preference is my language but English. It’s not that I think one is better than the other, it’s that for me it’s a basic matter of aesthetics.

 

[catholictiger]

the current instructions for the RCC is that we should in a sober manner offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest. I don’t think it causes chaos if it is only offered to the people near to us. I don’t see any reason why it would be a bad thing as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. It is a part of the Rite so I’m fine with it happening.

1. There follows the Rite of Peace, by which the Church entreats peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.

As for the actual sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by the Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. However, it is appropriate that each person, in a sober manner, offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest.

 

[lola5555]

Ah, my sister just asked me yesterday how many people I thought hated offering the Sign of Peace. She wonders because so many people seem reluctant and miserable while doing it. What do you think would happen if people just stopped doing it if they didn’t want to? It would be interesting. Just stand there, looking straight ahead…I wonder. I almost want to try it. What if it caught on?

No one in my family and none of my friends enjoy it. It’s awkward, forced, and for some, distracting and out of place with the rest of mass. I wouldn’t mind one fig if it disappeared. How do these things get started?

 

[tlenseigne]

Our parish has a greeting prior to mass and then sign of peace. I think we are over doing the sign of people. If we do a greeting, then why sign of peace later?