Do you think you do enough to help your neighbor?

[Nom_the_Wise]

In my opinion it depends, it’s definitely NOT a slam dunk. I’ll give you an example:…]

So, while you make a great point, there is also, IMHO, something to the fact of getting one’s own house in order so that one can be in a better postion to help others. This guy has great potential, but it’s hard for him to accept that he needs to put in hard work to get where he was a few years ago, so he clings to his delusional beliefs that he’s doing fine and helping others effectively. An extreme example I know, but I do believe there is validity to one helping oneself (or ALLOWING oneself to be helped- some people because of their pride won’t accept help and suffer in silence- not living up to their potential and also not able to help others because of the trap/pit they are in, with stubborn pride getting in the way of them allowing themselves to be helped, where they would be better and in turn be able to help others do better as well).

So I don’t see it as a cut and dry issue. I understand your point but think (am pretty sure) there is another side to that coin as well.

God Bless,
Bill

Absolutely. I am currently at a place where the thought of even going to Mass puts an extra 100lbs on each foot. I haven’t been consistent, and Mass attendance is always the first indicator of where the soul is. This thread caught my attention, I believe, because it was just another thing with which to torture myself (so many regrets about the marriage, being out of work et. al. AND I get to beat myself up about not helping out at church the way I used to).

I play guitar so I was thinking at the very least I could volunteer in that capacity, where I’m not in direct contact with many folks. I’m not exactly suicidally despondant, but the depression is heavier than ever before in my life. I feel like the very fact that I’m thinking about this is God’s invitation to me to come back. I don’t know.

Thank you Bill.

 

[Bill_7154]

Absolutely. I am currently at a place where the thought of even going to Mass puts an extra 100lbs on each foot. I haven’t been consistent, and Mass attendance is always the first indicator of where the soul is. This thread caught my attention, I believe, because it was just another thing with which to torture myself (so many regrets about the marriage, being out of work et. al. AND I get to beat myself up about not helping out at church the way I used to).

I play guitar so I was thinking at the very least I could volunteer in that capacity, where I’m not in direct contact with many folks. I’m not exactly suicidally despondant, but the depression is heavier than ever before in my life. I feel like the very fact that I’m thinking about this is God’s invitation to me to come back. I don’t know.

Thank you Bill.

Nom the Wise,

Your very welcome. You speak of depression. I have depression and ptsd. I have a history of going on and off meds for these conditions. I’m wondering if your receving any kind of help for your depression via meds and/or counseling. With depression primary care doctors prescribe anti-depressants more than psychiatrists. Basially sooo many people take them there are not enough psychiatrists to go around to treat depression.

If not, have you in the past? I ask because some people put it on a moral issue, and I myself have run from talk counseling when medication was mentioned in a meeting and didn’t go back…until about a year or 2 later… that’s when I first started taking an anti-depressant. Now I’m on 5 different medications that are psychiatric (well one is a blood pressure med but it’s prescribed to me for anxiety as it lowers heart rate, etc).

There is nothng to be ashamed of in receiving tx for depression. Dr’s were put on this earth to help us with things like this. And medication is the main treatment for depression, along wiht talk therapy and exercize. But sometime to get going you need medication. If you had diabetes would you not take meds for it? If you had a broken leg would you not get it set an get a cast becasue you need to ‘tough it out’ or snap out of it or whatever.

I’m saying this stuff to try to help as you didn’t indicate if your receiving any conventional treatment for depression.

God Bless,
Bill

 

[Nom_the_Wise]

Nom the Wise,

…]

Your very welcome. God Bless,
Bill

Wow! Check, check, check and check. Type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety and ADD. Meds for all: metformin, cymbalta and concerta. Cymbalta covers depression and psychosematic pain or neuropathy. I’ve had a psychiatrist (for med check in) and a psychologist for talking therapy for the last few years, but I live in a different area now and I’m waiting until the divorce is over to see what insurance I can get on my own (I’ve had hers).

It’s funny, I never had depression until I went to the seminary (loaded statement there) but I’ve had ADD all my life though it wasn’t “officially” diagnosed until I was in seminary (undergraduate seminary). To keep this in line with the thread, that was a bad time, being diagnosed with all that at the same time. I felt like a failure on all levels, especially as a potential candidate for the priesthood. I graduated but didn’t go on to the major seminary because of a number or reasons, but one of them was that I didn’t feel that I should inflict my mental illnesses on an already scandalized church (I know now that was mostly the depression talking, but I did get married and that failed, and I have a son and so that’s my focus for my “ministry;” making sure that he knows he’s loved and that all of this is not his fault).

So again, to keep with the thread, and to generalize my experience, so many of us are clinically depressed, as you pointed out. Without us getting cynical about who “really” is depressed or not (I’ve been beaten up in the threads before over whether or not depression is “real”–forgive me if I’m scrupe-baiting ) I know I’m not the only one who has issues with ministry; the anxiety piece itself is a barrier. I haven’t always had the anxiety, so that’s more work I need to do to “get my house in order.”

Okay Bill, how much is my co-pay?

 

[Bill_7154]

Wow! Check, check, check and check. Type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety and ADD. Meds for all: metformin, cymbalta and concerta. Cymbalta covers depression and psychosematic pain or neuropathy. I’ve had a psychiatrist (for med check in) and a psychologist for talking therapy for the last few years, but I live in a different area now and I’m waiting until the divorce is over to see what insurance I can get on my own (I’ve had hers).

It’s funny, I never had depression until I went to the seminary (loaded statement there) but I’ve had ADD all my life though it wasn’t “officially” diagnosed until I was in seminary (undergraduate seminary). To keep this in line with the thread, that was a bad time, being diagnosed with all that at the same time. I felt like a failure on all levels, especially as a potential candidate for the priesthood. I graduated but didn’t go on to the major seminary because of a number or reasons, but one of them was that I didn’t feel that I should inflict my mental illnesses on an already scandalized church (I know now that was mostly the depression talking, but I did get married and that failed, and I have a son and so that’s my focus for my “ministry;” making sure that he knows he’s loved and that all of this is not his fault).

So again, to keep with the thread, and to generalize my experience, so many of us are clinically depressed, as you pointed out. Without us getting cynical about who “really” is depressed or not (I’ve been beaten up in the threads before over whether or not depression is “real”–forgive me if I’m scrupe-baiting ) I know I’m not the only one who has issues with ministry; the anxiety piece itself is a barrier. I haven’t always had the anxiety, so that’s more work I need to do to “get my house in order.”

Okay Bill, how much is my co-pay?

We have a lot in common. I have a 10 month old, our first, and he is my priority (actually I am my prority as I need to be OK in order to have him be OK). I also had to switch health plans to one with a cheaper premium due to my income vs. bills. I was also fortunate that my company started up with that plan where they give you a credit card for medical co-pays, etc… you set the ammt you want on it up to a maximum they allow…and they deduct a certain ammt from your check over the course of the year to cover the money on the card. But if anyone needs hospital care, etc there is like a 4K deductible per person before the insurance kicks in to cover… but the monthly cost is 1/2 of what it was last year and I had to go for the cheapest policy.

For me anxiety is the biggest problem, it’s connected to my PTSD. If I don’t keep my mental and emotional health in order I am not able to help my wife as I should with our child, let alone do real work for my neighbors. Fortunately I enjoy helping others and this is what I do for a living. It’s not charity though as I get paid. But I struggle with basic day to day life issues and my wife doesn’t understand so I wouldn’t expect random people to understand. My work actuallly recommended I apply for long term disability about 1- 1 1/2 years ago because they saw my work decline a lot and could tell something had changed and I was missing a lot of work. They said if my dr wrote a letter and I did that they would write one in support of me getting disability and submit it to their insurance company. I’ve been with the same company for 18 years.

I had a lot of work stress, life stress, and that makes symptoms worse…just like it does for normal people (except their ‘symptom’ is basically just stress). I choose to not go for disability as I don’t believe in it except if I really really had to with no other choice.

Now that I have God and Jesus in my life I’m getting better, able to help my family more, and wanting to connect with other Catholics for friendship and would like to eventually do some charity work using my counseling skills to help others.

God Bless,
Bill

 

[Nom_the_Wise]

For me anxiety is the biggest problem, it’s connected to my PTSD. If I don’t keep my mental and emotional health in order I am not able to help my wife as I should with our child, let alone do real work for my neighbors. Fortunately I enjoy helping others and this is what I do for a living. It’s not charity though as I get paid.
…]
My work actuallly recommended I apply for long term disability about 1- 1 1/2 years ago because they saw my work decline a lot and could tell something had changed and I was missing a lot of work. They said if my dr wrote a letter and I did that they would write one in support of me getting disability and submit it to their insurance company. I’ve been with the same company for 18 years.

I had a lot of work stress, life stress, and that makes symptoms worse…just like it does for normal people (except their ‘symptom’ is basically just stress). I choose to not go for disability as I don’t believe in it except if I really really had to with no other choice.

Now that I have God and Jesus in my life I’m getting better, able to help my family more, and wanting to connect with other Catholics for friendship and would like to eventually do some charity work using my counseling skills to help others.

God Bless,
Bill

First, I’d remind you that priests get a paycheck. You are *attracted *to helping others, which makes all the sense in the world that you would end up as a professional helping people. You can’t take that off the table. You help people, and it’s not like you get paid six figures to do it.

Second, if your job suggested that you take long-term disability, you might want to think about that. Jobs always fight against employees taking time off, and being that your bosses have right authority over you, you could interpret that as also being God working in your life. If you need a break to recharge, then you need a break. All of us at some time feel like we need some time off, but if your job says “Bill, you look like you could use some time,”–I mean, that *never *happens! I’m not telling you what to do, but just telling you that this is all coming down the right channels, and your resistance to this speaks volumes about you. It sounds like you do faaar more than your part to help your neighbor. If God’s giving you the day off, well, you might want to think about it.

My son is six. When he was born, I was teaching as an adjunct faculty member at local colleges, but had to take another job working third shift as a security guard to help make ends meet. I brought home a lot of money then, but I missed most of his infancy. Think of it as God giving you time to bond more with your son. Kids have a way of blessing us that I never understood before I became a father. They make you see the world for the first time again, everything is new to them. Forgive me for gettting caught up in your story, but if I were you, my choice would be clear.

Peace be with you bro!