Do you truly believe in God's unconditional love for you?

[SacredHeartBassist]

Yes. It’s easy to truly believe. It’s not easy to believe perfectly

 

[exnihilo]

I struggle with this. What I mean is I get the idea intellectually. But I don’t really trust the idea. I don’t really say believe it with all my heart.

I think one problem I have comes from my life experience. I am not alone with this. My parents divorced. Naturally this had a negative influence on me. It influenced me to see love as performance based. That is I see love as something you merit. When you do good you are lovable. When you do bad you are unlovable. This standard of judgment applied to myself is appropriate for both others and for me. Such a view is incompatible with unconditional love. How can you believe God loves you unconditionally if that is how you view love?

I’ve read a Catholic psychologist write about those with high expectations of themselves and others…and internalizing real and/or perceived failures

Apparently I’m prideful and despondent…what a lovely combination…

It is pride. But knowing that gives you the insight you need to conquer it.

That’s what I (and perhaps those who are on the anxious side) don’t really get. I always see myself looking in through a window at the happy people

I am very anxious too. It isn’t fun.

But you’ve identified where the problem is as far as seeing God as having unconditional love. The problem isn’t intellectual, it is spiritual (which for my way of looking at things includes psychological). So you won’t find the answer in further study, or logical proofs, or assurances from authority.

The answer is hard work on changing how you view things. There isn’t one single answer. The closest you’d get to a single answer is just ‘letting go’. Grasping tightly to things is how we lose them. I think Jesus word’s have a more broad meaning, ‘for whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it’.

 

[exnihilo]

Sometimes I think, If only I were like the angels, I would not sin, have useless emotions, and be hindered by concupiscence.

I have no power over thoughts and emotions…if I could program myself to be a sinless robot, I would…

I get the draw of that, but God created us as He did. We are judged by our response to what we have been given. Remember to whom much has been given, much will be expected. Others who have been given more will be judged based on that fact. You need to do the most with what you have been given. Thinking about other possibilities isn’t really helpful and is just escapism.

I don’t doubt for a second that God loves me unconditionally, but where did I get that idea? I wonder if my understanding originates from my experience of the love which my parents have for me. Their love has plenty of small imperfections, but it has always been there. It is a solid, indestructible, immovable reality. They don’t talk about it. They just show it, and I just know it.

I think that is so. The sad fact is in our modern divorce culture so many children don’t have that same experience.

 

[NuclearReceptor]

I really, really just hate everything about myself. Everything that I’m supposed to do or be, I am the opposite.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been cynical, pessimistic, opinionated, prideful, envious, duplicitous, etc. Was I born with a predilection towards personality disorders? Who knows

Everything I’ve done “Catholic-wise” seems to be a sham. Whatever little amount of good that was done is contaminated by my inner evil.

How can I believe in God’s providence for someone like me? I’ve wasted His graces and don’t have the power to make myself into a good person.

I go to Mass weekly and pray, and yet, lapsed Catholics, and even atheists, are more virtuous than me.

Failure at meeting expectations (spiritual or otherwise) seems to be evidence that God is angry/disappointed and that I need to “fend for myself” because obviously He can no longer care for me. I want to leave this mindset but I feel trapped. Negativity feeds suspicion, suspicion feeds anger, and when you’re too tired to be angry, you just give up.

Maybe if I didn’t have an abusive childhood, maybe if I didn’t wall myself off psychologically (spiral down into living in a delusional internal world of self and ego) to deal with molestation by family members, I would’ve been a positive, upbeat, good person who believes in God’s love.

 

[petra22]

Dear Lea, my DH has defects too and often he feels worthless. Wants to know why was he born and wouldn’t he be better off not having been born… I live with him EVERY day and I understand his anger and confusion in this regard, but the answer is NO, you would not be better off. YES, this life is tough for you. Yes you feel deficient. But look at the things you HAVE. (We all lack something, BTW)… And if you had never been born you would not have a chance at ETERNAL LIFE. I know it is hard to accept sometimes but there is a life after this one. And God loves you so much he wants you there with him…

 

[petra22]

Let me begin.
Though I am a sinner, God still lets the sun shine on me and lets me breathe the air. He still lets me use my senses to navigate this world. I have choices. I can be positive or I can be negative. Even if I’m captive, I am free, free to love God, or hate him.

My brain fires up thought. I still can’t get over that. Where does thought come from? How am I able to put 2 and 2 together?

There are so many gifts He has given me since before I was born. My sister has a terrible childhood disease that was supposed to take her life by the time she was 12. She is 70+!!! I think of all the family and priests that prayed for her and ME when my mom was expecting…WOW!

 

[Dorothy]

God does not cast anyone into hell; it is the person who refuses Him. At the time of seeing Him face to face they turn their back and walk away from Him.

How much more could our Lord have done than go through a horrific death for us, to prove His love for us?

Through the Mass and the Holy Eucharist we can get the strength to accept the hard challenges in our life. Life is short, eternity is forever.

 

[exnihilo]

I want to leave this mindset but I feel trapped. Negativity feeds suspicion, suspicion feeds anger, and when you’re too tired to be angry, you just give up.

One thing you can do is take the time to reflect on all the good things you do have. Focusing on the negative tends to color everything. Taking time to be grateful can help counteract that.

 

[Azaryahtt]

Hello Patrick, i thank you for your comments and I would like to ask you what’s your experience on this one since I am also a returned home Catholic.
It was about 5 years ago ,.bit sometime I struggle with what I sense it could be looking down on me from other church members or even priests, but what it really is the stone in the way is a bad conscience and hurtful past experiences, thanks

 

[PJM]

Jesus is the Original Rock and Peter is often called “the” pebble, so your in excellents hands in Christ Catholic Church were Jesus HIMSELF is available to heal all your wounds if you’ll permit Him too

May the Holy Spirit guide your path. Don’t allow what OTHERS might think to avoid making the RIGHT choice

Many Blessings

Patrick

 

[bettercallpaul]

I believe God loves more his humble repentant and loyal sinners than the rest of us. The rest of us are too weak, disloyal and insincere. That’s how I feel.
God doesn’t really love us until we repent, right? So it is conditional. He is not going to love us for ignoring Him surely.

 

[Irishmom2]

No, he always loves you. It is unconditional. He is not waiting for people to repent to give them his love. He loves us even when we are far away from him by our own choice. He waits patiently for our return.

 

[petra22]

I understand about your abusive childhood and I do think it plays a big part. I’m just going by what I see DH dealing with. Has a debilitating disease and other medical complications on top of the fact that he had a terrible/almost non-existent relationship with his father and almost the same with his mother, both of whom left him as a very young child. How could he know the love of the father when he never knew the love of his own father? And the same for Mary our mother when he doesn’t have good feelings about his own mother? How can he think that God loves him and gives him so many crosses to carry? It’s a tough road! I get it. But HE wasn’t supposed to live past 12 either… and yet he worked and had two children and two grandchildren and hobbies to keep him busy. Most people wouldn’t have given his a chance of succeeding… but he did–by the grace and mercy of God. AND the biggest plus, he has a chance at ETERNAL LIFE. Sure, this life could be easier and is for most of us. But all the crosses are worth Eternal Life… Jesus said it. I believe it.

 

[Vico]

Did you always believe this, or did you eventually find your way to this?

Why do I find it so difficult to believe fully with my heart? I accept it superficially intellectually…but I always feel like I’m just outside of His ray of light in the shadows unworthy to be a child of God.

It’s a cause of distrust, cynicism, faithlessness, doubt, despair, desolation, sadness.

But it also seems reasonable that God wouldn’t care about my life or what I do or what I feel, experience, or suffer. I’m just a nobody in a world of billions of souls past, present, and future.

I know what I’m supposed to do minimally as a Catholic…it just seems like everything I’ve done is a facade and that it doesn’t matter what I pretended to do because it amounts to nothing.

Where does one find trust in God’s love?

It is not unconditional love as normally meant. God loves us before we meet any condition, not based on foreseeing our faith. Damnation will be the result if we do not want to cooperate with that love.

Matthew 25:

44 Then they also shall answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister to thee?
45 Then he shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me.
46 And these shall go into everlasting punishment: but the just, into life everlasting.

 

[Latin]

No, he always loves you. It is unconditional. He is not waiting for people to repent to give them his love. He loves us even when we are far away from him by our own choice. He waits patiently for our return.

God bless you Iri(name removed by moderator) and God bless every readers of the CAF.
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Good post, I only like add to it.
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Christ doesn’t wait for our return, He brings us back to the safety of the sheepfold and doesn’t let us perish.
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Matthew 18:12-13; (The Parable of the Lost Sheep.)
12 "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?
13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.
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It is the duty of care of the shepherd of the sheep, to care for the sheep, to feed and to protect the sheep, and to bring back the lost sheep to the sheepfold, and MOST OF ALL, to Love the sheep UNCONDITIONALLY.
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GOD ALREADY DEMONSTRATED HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF THE LOST SHEEP OF NINEVEH.
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According to the Scripture, the Ninevites were probably the most wicked lost sheep in the whole world and yet God with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE brought back all the lost sheep of Nineveh to the sheepfold.
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FIRST:
GOD PROMISED Universal Hell to the lost sheep of Nineveh.
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Jonah 3:4; Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.”
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SECOND:
GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, JUSTICE AND WILL DEMANDS: – To bring back even the MOST WICKED lost sheep of Nineveh to the sheepfold, which was Universal Salvation of Nineveh.
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Jonah 4:11; And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?
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Continue

 

[Latin]

Continuation
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ACCORDING TO THE SAME ABOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE GOD WILL SAVE ALL THE LOST SHEEP OF THE WHOLE WORLD, EVEN THE MOST WICKED ONES LIKE IN NINEVEH.
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FIRST:
GOD’S PROMISE TO THE HUMAN RACE – Apart from a few people, practically Universal Hell.

Matt.7:13-14; Apart from a few people I throw everyone to hell.
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SECOND:
BECAUSE GOD LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY THE LOST SHEEP (WE ARE ALL LOST SHEEP), GOD’S REPEATED PROMISES of Universal Salvation of the human race.
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Rom.5:18;
Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, even so one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people.
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1 Cor.15:22;
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all will be made alive.
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Eph.1:9-11;
9. He made known to us the mystery of his will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ,

1. to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfilment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth in Christ.
2. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.
   .

Col.1:20;
And through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
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God bless you Iri(name removed by moderator) and God bless every readers of the CAF.

Latin

 

[TheButler]

As much as I believe in my mother’s unconditional love for me. She uses a lot of ‘tough love’ to the point I am sure she hates me completely even though I know deep down she doesn’t. I don’t see the Creator being any different.

 

[GRoods]

God knows us all more than we know ourselves. God loves us more than we love ourselves. God gave us His only Son, so we might find ourselves in Him. He knows are pain, and touches our hearts, so that we may find Him there.
At times when we give up hope God’s hope endures.
When the rain falls, and clouds darken the skies God holds us from the cold. Never loose hope, for Jesus death was not in vain.

I love you, and may the peace of Christ be with you always.

 

[petra22]

Except he loves you MORE than your dear mother…

 

[OneSheep]

Good Morning,

I really, really just hate everything about myself. Everything that I’m supposed to do or be, I am the opposite.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been cynical, pessimistic, opinionated, prideful, envious, duplicitous, etc. Was I born with a predilection towards personality disorders? Who knows

Everything I’ve done “Catholic-wise” seems to be a sham. Whatever little amount of good that was done is contaminated by my inner evil.

I can say that I could really relate to your statement. To me, everything I heard about God’s unconditional love seemed to go in one ear and out the other. And then, in prayer, I found a path that took me out of it.

How can I believe in God’s providence for someone like me? I’ve wasted His graces and don’t have the power to make myself into a good person.

I go to Mass weekly and pray, and yet, lapsed Catholics, and even atheists, are more virtuous than me.

Of course you don’t have the power to make yourself into a good person. What God’s grace gives us is the light by which we can see that we already are “good” people. The reason I use scare quotes there is because the whole aspect of judgment is not where God comes from, it is where we come from, it is part of our nature to judge. God sees us with pure love, pure understanding, pure forgiveness, so when I say “good”, I am saying that God sees us as beautiful and wholly lovable.

That said, there is no way that you can just read that and believe it. The burden on your soul lies in self-judgment, and perhaps a bit of judgment upon others (the two are closely related, all part of the activity of the conscience). You are “holding something against” yourself, primarily, and others, but much of that is probably “under the radar” right now, especially if you’ve experienced some abuse from people close to you.

Does this make sense? You are self-condemning, correct?