Do you use Natural Family Planning?

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Esperanza

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I have some Catholic friends, and most use NFP in their marriage. I am not Catholic myself, but being interested in the subject, I started asking them questions about it. Two of my closest Catholic friends say that it’s a wonderful way to see and appreciate the way a woman’s body works, and what a beautiful gift from God it is. She also said that it’s helped her communicate and build trust and respect with her husband.

I am quite skeptical about this…it seems like Catholic Birth Control. And if it is, I don’t think it’d lead to better relationships between spouses. Would it anyway?

So I am just asking on this Forum if you use NFP, and to tell your experience with it, as well as the whole “improved relationship with spouse” aspect.

And although I doubt there are non-Catholics on here who use NFP, if there are, I’d be very interested to hear from you.

Thank you and Blessings.
 
I am a cradle Catholic in my 4th cycle using NFP. NFP is natural in that would not “abort” my ability to conceive life if God so chooses me to do so. It is a wonderful away of knowing your fertile/infertile periods and choosing to conceive or not to conceive with God’s guidance and prayer. My husband was a little angry in the beginning, but I stuck by my guns, and it has also improved his respect:D for me drastically.
 
We use NFP only in trying to get pregnant. The Catholic church teaches that it is only to be used as a form of birth control for “serious” reasons. We have yet to find a serious enough reason. We love children and want to welcome them into our lives as gifts from God and at this point in our lives feel that we are able to provide for more if God intend… We feel that marriage is God’s plan for populating Heaven. Some people do have serious reasons for using this effective method of birth control and at any point we truly feel that we fit into that category we will us it for that purpose…

It may be helpful for you to know why the Catholic Church teaches this. We believe that the sexual union between man and wife was created by God for God, to bring life into this world. Since Vatican II, the Church has added that the act is not to be used solely for this purpose, but also can be used as part of the marriage bond. Artificial Birth Control provides a barrier from God’s will. (The pill can additionally cause an abortion.) It is in a sense saying, yes, I want to enjoy the pleasure of this experience, but sorry God, I am not concerned about what you want. NFP doesn’t make this statement. It simply is a period of abstinence during your fertile time. Abstaining from sex is not a sin and if there is legitimate reason, it is an effective method of birth control has been known to strengthen marriages. I believe the divorce rate for NFP couples is 3%. I’m sure someone could state all of this better that I. I apologize I don’t have the Catechism in front of me.

As far as it strengthening our marriage, it has. It opens the line of communication as far as my body is concerned. He is therefore more sensitive about my physical and emotional needs. We work together and communicate in order to increase our chances of conception. Before fully accepting this teaching (and others), my husband and I had tried to get pregnant for a year using NFP with no success. I was frustrated and impatient. We had our first infertility consult due to him having poor test results. We were told IVF was our only option. I asked if they could only implant the embryos and not destroy or freeze them. They explained that an embryo is not a human being and threatened to call security on us. We conceived that night after praying a rosary together. That’s our story.

:yup:
 
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Esperanza:
I have some Catholic friends, and most use NFP in their marriage. I am not Catholic myself, but being interested in the subject, I started asking them questions about it. Two of my closest Catholic friends say that it’s a wonderful way to see and appreciate the way a woman’s body works, and what a beautiful gift from God it is. She also said that it’s helped her communicate and build trust and respect with her husband.

I am quite skeptical about this…it seems like Catholic Birth Control. And if it is, I don’t think it’d lead to better relationships between spouses. Would it anyway?

So I am just asking on this Forum if you use NFP, and to tell your experience with it, as well as the whole “improved relationship with spouse” aspect.

And although I doubt there are non-Catholics on here who use NFP, if there are, I’d be very interested to hear from you.

Thank you and Blessings.
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It’s important to understand what the church does and does not teach regarding planning a family. The Church does not teach that it is wrong to plan and space children-- ie controling and regulating births.

The Church does teach that there are moral and immoral ways to achieve the spacing and planning of children. Contraception is contrary to God’s law, while periodic abstinence is not.

The reasons NFP improves spousal relationships are many. Each month spouses must communicate and discuss whether to abstain or not. They must discuss whether they are open to children that day, that week, that month. Many couples using contraception literally go years without ever discussing their family and relationship-- especially those on long-term types such as IUD, pill, shot, etc. With NFP the man respects the woman’s cycle and the couple subordinates themselves to the woman’s cycle. The woman is not an object. The husband learns non-sexual ways to relate to and express affection for his wife. Contracepting husbands do not do so, in general (there are always exceptions). The couple discusses the reasons that they are not open to children-- often discovering issues in the process. A wife might feel the husband is not helping enough with the little ones, and feels overwhelmed. The husband feels overwhelmed financially… etc.

I would highly recommend you visit www.omsoul.com and order the tape “Contraception, Why Not?” by Janet Smith. There are very good tapes, books, and pamphlets you can get from One More Soul.
 
I have some Catholic friends, and most use NFP in their marriage.
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Hallelujah! The way most people talk it makes many think that only about sixty Catholics out of a billion use it. 😃

Just a few points. Your objection about it being Catholic Birth Control is reasonable on one level because if used with a contraceptive mentality, it’s just as sinful as artificial methods. I’ve listened to several people talk about how much they hate NFP but it is plainly obvious they are using it to cut out children from the picture.

The marriage improvement is actually not that hard to understand when you put it next to the culture of death philosophy. To them, children are a fun-destroying inconvenience. So your typical contracepting married couple approaches the marital act with fear and wrap themselves in a impenetrable field of drugs, barriers and medical procedures all for the sake of the joyless pursuit of joy. The married couple that understands and accepts the covenental nature of matrimony (The complete giving of self to the beloved) has no fear. Thus the marital act is intimate and even holy. NFP properly applied compliments this rather than frustrates it.

Scott
 
We use a version of it ~ our own version that follows my cycle, knowing my body, etc. We had struggled for years with infertility, which taught me much on my body and my cycles. I have had 3 pregnancies in the past 2 years, and each of them was planned, or at the very least, we knew what we were doing and the possibility of achieving a pregnancy.

My husband was skeptical at first, but respectd my wishes that we not use ABC. It does enhance our time together on the “free days”, and gives us a greater appreciation for one another on the days we abstain. It truly can be such an enhancement to your relationship, Catholic or not.
 
My wife and I have dabbled in NFP and abc for 9 years now. We have 5 great kids. We have recently been properly enlightened through EWTN, friends and Catholic answers. We are taking this seriously now but wish we had been using NFP all along. With time we will gain confidence. The priest that married us and family members led us away from the true teaching. My journey back to the Church’s teachings has been incredible.

Also NFP has really been getting great press here in my small town thanks to one devout MD. The girls at the local baptists university are even well informed about it. Many of them get married right out of college.

Pray for us. Keep the faith . trust in God.
 
Knowing the moment(s) when my wife is fertile is very powerful. It makes me really appreciate the sexual act for what it truly is - giving yourself completely to each other -and knowing that from this love new life can be created.

I also find that I like:
  1. No drugs!
  2. Noticing how the Spirit can really play an important role in your marriage (believe me - He moves you when he wants you moved!)
  3. Stopping the sex and starting the dialogue (while it can be difficult at times) ultimately brings you closer together.
Peace & God Bless!
 
Yes, we do! My husband and I have found it to be a wonderful way of loving each other. I love how it is a way of us growing closer to God and trusting in him. I love that our priorities are not on money, but on God and the family.
 
Yes we use NFP for many Years and now Calander Method, with
abstain during the fertile times.🙂
 
We have used NFP from the start in our marriage - we never considered artificial birth control, but feel strongly in our God-given ability to have an element of free will involved in the decision of when to have children.
We have so far been blessed with two, and are expecting our third child… and using NFP has really allowed us to embrace this gift of parenthood in a prayerful manner. We know that parenthood isn’t a chore to be taken lightly, so we don’t look at the ability to procreate lightly… we take this gift seriously and try to make prayerful decisions, without blocking God’s will in our life or going outside His beautiful creation by using any means other than His glorious design of the female fertility cycle.
It’s a beautiful choice… and one that’s been a blessing for our marriage. 🙂
 
IMO, NFP “enhances” a couple’s relationship and communication in a way similar to the way a canary “enhances” a coal miner’s breathing capability! Both serve as an early warning sign of problems that need to be worked out before they become life/marriage threatening.

NFP is a morally acceptable means of spacing children because it does NOT divorce sex from procreation. Contraception perpetuates itself because with it the couple can indulge as much as they like without ever considering their reason for avoiding a child. NFP on the other hand forces several nights a month of soul searching on the matter! A soul searching that takes place during a sexual fast, in fact. Nobody really knows why fasting enhances prayer, but it does.

Couples with relationship problems or improper communication skills will have a hard time practicing NFP because of its restrictions. Ask me how I know. 😉 Abstinance is difficult, especially since the female libido is at its peak during the fertile times! But when you learn of these relationship and communication issues early in marriage, you get to work through them BEFORE they harden into resentments and bitterness. It’s a nice little canary.
 
Good honest questions. I use the method and NFP is not Catholic Birth Control. God gave us signs in a woman’s body which indicate her fertile period. How we use that knowledge that science has discovered determines whether NFP is used in the right way. NFP is pretty effective, so I suppose if it is used with a contraception mentality, then I could see where people could abuse it like birth control. I do believe however, that staying open to life and to God causes one to become less selfish as one uses NFP. Pope John Paul the II made a statement attesting to this fact. I have yet to see anyone who uses NFP who has only one or two kids. Increased family sizes are not a testament to the method failing, but is more a testament to openness to life and a shift from the contraceptive mentality. Here are some of the ways NFP is 180 degress from “birth control”
  1. You do not alter your body in any way, either physically or chemically. Procreation is a gift from God and when one uses NFP, they are always saying yes to the possibility of life, even if mentally they may feel that right now may not be the best time. God may decide to override your desires and with NFP, you allow him to. Ultimately, this method leaves God in charge, whereas birth control says “I know better than God”.
  2. It teaches you self control, unlike birth control where people think they get to have their cake and eat it too. The church teaches that sex is beautiful, but nowhere does it say that you have do it anytime and anywhere with no regard for life’s circumstances.
  3. Both men and women are partners in this method, where birth control methods involve only one partner.
There’s other reasons too, but that’s my two cents. I hope you find some other good responses as well.
 
YES, we do.

However we are using it to achieve a pregnancy 🙂

We use the Creighton method. I have PCOs and many other problems. And it has helped p(name removed by moderator)oint many of my health issues.
 
Esperanza said:
I have some Catholic friends, and most use NFP in their marriage. I am not Catholic myself, but being interested in the subject, I started asking them questions about it. Two of my closest Catholic friends say that it’s a wonderful way to see and appreciate the way a woman’s body works, and what a beautiful gift from God it is. She also said that it’s helped her communicate and build trust and respect with her husband.

I am quite skeptical about this…it seems like Catholic Birth Control. And if it is, I don’t think it’d lead to better relationships between spouses. Would it anyway?

So I am just asking on this Forum if you use NFP, and to tell your experience with it, as well as the whole “improved relationship with spouse” aspect.

And although I doubt there are non-Catholics on here who use NFP, if there are, I’d be very interested to hear from you.

Thank you and Blessings.
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Hubby and I come from big families, with 20 siblings between the two of us. We met at a young age and waited almost 6 years to get married, both of us with a desire to be parents.

DH wanted very badly a honeymoon baby, but that did not happen despite a lot of fun. 😛 So around the 2nd month, we monitored my fertility to achieve conception.

I did not use charts or take my temperature. I used a bit of the Creighton method (cervical measurements, discharge examinations) and also followed my cycle on www.hormonalforecaster.org.

We have been thinking about the future and will be using the Billings/Creighton method and ecological breastfeeding to space our next child. (I know that’s funny; I still have to finish baking this first bun! 😃 )

If you are coming from a contraceptive mentality and are unfamiliar with Theology of the Body, Humanae Vitae and human physiology/anatomy, then fertility monitoring (also popularly known as NFP) might seem contradictory to you.

My favorite, sincere question to those who want some food for thought over NFP is this:

“What’s the difference between killing grandma now to get your inheritance and waaaaiting until grandma naturally dies to get your inheritance? What’s so important about the natural way? Don’t you get your inheritance no matter which method you use?”

Try www.christopherwest.com for resources.
 
Yes… to conceive. I am older (ehem…not quite 45) and dh and i are trying for another child. I have been able to get pregnant twice using NFP and it is wonderful. I love the communicative part. DH and I are able to discuss every aspect of reproduction together.
 
Clearly, NFP is a form of Birth Control – just not Artificial Birth Control. It is non-invasive, does no harm to the woman or the baby that may result and has good side-effects as opposed to ABC which has none of these things.

Make no mistake, however: NFP is as much a form of Birth Control as any barrier method or pill – if it is used for the same means as those artificial methods. Birth control is a state of mind, “I don’t want to have a baby right now, so I will do something to prevent it.” That may be a pill, a condom or abstaining. All are the result of our desires to not have children.

We are told that children are a blessing from God. We were commanded to procreate; those who choose not to follow these guidelines are guilty of committing Birth Control. I’ll not debate as to why one is a sin and the other is not, but to me, the overwhelming number of people I see talking about NFP are using it as birth control. Just read the posts about “failure” and “99.999% success if done correctly.” Don’t you see the pervasive tone underneath that is not open to life? Failure is what happens when you are given a new blessing from God with this mentality.

For my wife and myself, we have rejected all arguments about economics, spacing, personal freedom, material goods and all the like as grounds for any form of birth control. Only the health of the mother, or the high likelihood of a catastrophic failure for the child (ruptured uterus, etc) has ever figured into our thinking.

This isn’t judgmental towards anyone else- I could care less about what decisions you make about family content; this isn’t about superiority – we did what we did out of our belief it was required to be obedient to God. It’s simply a statement, that I agree with the OP – NFP is simply another form of Birth Control.
 
I’ll partially agree with the previous poster: NFP is a form of birth control.

However, he might be surprised to hear the the Catholic Church is NOT opposed to birth control. It is opposed to CONTRACEPTION. Big difference.

Contraception is inherently sinful because it is inherently harmful to the loving marriage to sterilize lovemaking. Birth control CAN be sinful if done for other than serious reasons. Some folks would like to have the Church post a list of those reasons, but it hasn’t. It has given us PRINCIPLES to use in discerning if we have a just/serious reason to avoid conceiving. But birth control is not INHERENTLY sinful.
 
My husband and I have used NFP to both abstain from and achieve pregnancy since May 2003. We think it’s been extremely beneficial to our marriage. I was on the Pill from 2001-2003 (we converted to Catholicism in May 2003) and I think our relationship post-NFP is better than it was pre-NFP. It’s caused us to become better communicators and be less selfish and more giving with each other.

I recommend reading Janet Smith’s article Contraception: Why Not? for an extremely good explanation about why NFP is so beneficial to marriages. 🙂
 
Esperanza said:
I have some Catholic friends, and most use NFP in their marriage. I am not Catholic myself, but being interested in the subject, I started asking them questions about it. Two of my closest Catholic friends say that it’s a wonderful way to see and appreciate the way a woman’s body works, and what a beautiful gift from God it is. She also said that it’s helped her communicate and build trust and respect with her husband.

I am quite skeptical about this…it seems like Catholic Birth Control. And if it is, I don’t think it’d lead to better relationships between spouses. Would it anyway?

So I am just asking on this Forum if you use NFP, and to tell your experience with it, as well as the whole “improved relationship with spouse” aspect.

And although I doubt there are non-Catholics on here who use NFP, if there are, I’d be very interested to hear from you.

Thank you and Blessings.
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A Catholic gernerally is not supposed to use NFP unless they have a reason too - like can’t financially afford another child or risk to the mother/child kind of thing. Otherwise if it’s just used for the heck of it, I can see why you would compare it to catholic birth control.
 
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