Do You Want Your Relationship to Last Forever?

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Excellent article, really got me thinking about the failure of my marriage.

Thank you.

God Bless!
 
As someone who is single and never married i speak from inexperience here though i do agree with much of what this article say’s. The thing is that it seem’s to suggest that attractiveness and compatibility based on someone’s character has no relevance at all in a marriage? This is something we know to be untrue. We can all love which i agree is a choice but the love between husband and wife is based on so much more, one which is more intimate and essentially is a sacramental transformation in which two become one as we so clearly understand in Catholic tradition. Everyone desire’s and rightly so to find that right person whom they just click with, we do this by observing someone’s character and determining on a number of factor’s how compatible we are assuming that one is doing so in a Catholic manner and not on secular superficial value’s

Also in reply to Ysara’s location, when you say you live in Northern Ireland i assume you mean the Northern PART of Ireland and not the British term to describe the area they still occupy 😛
 
bmaj said:
Loved it! Thanks so much for sharing. Makes me wish the whole world could be like that small town in Croatia…
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Just to note, the author is wrong, it is not in Croatia at all. It is Herzegovina. Next to Croatia, still not the same. (Imagine saying that Dallas is in Canada.)

From what my friends from that area tell me, divorce rate is the consequence of strong tradition and patriarchal views. You do not leave. Ever. You get married, and then you suffer the hand you’re dealt. Women are not equal to men, the man has the last and often only say in the house, you shut your mouth and do as you are told if you are a woman, often your mother in law is your supervisor and dictator, since tradition says that you live near if not with her, and the son obeys the father until he dies. Sometimes you don’t even get to choose your spouse. (Yes, it still happens.)
I am not saying there are no happy and healthy marriages, but I am saying that I know more than a few unhappy ones from that area, and not unhappy for superficial reasons.
I am also not saying that leaving husbands like they are bad meals is a good thing, I believe that marriage should be well thought, but then forever, but the extent to which ‘for better or worse’ is taken in that area is a bit much.
My grandmother was from an area near the one mentioned in the article, with similar attitudes. From age 7 she taught me that the only purpose of a women is to make the man’s life easier and better. Her husband, my grandfather, did not even allow her to phone her family when they moved, let alone visit them, abused the whole family, and she never doubted him.

That said, I think that the tradition of kissing the cross is nice, to remind you that you two are not alone in the marriage. 🙂
 
Paddy1989 said:
As someone who is single and never married i speak from inexperience here though i do agree with much of what this article say’s. The thing is that it seem’s to suggest that attractiveness and compatibility based on someone’s character has no relevance at all in a marriage? This is something we know to be untrue. We can all love which i agree is a choice but the love between husband and wife is based on so much more, one which is more intimate and essentially is a sacramental transformation in which two become one as we so clearly understand in Catholic tradition. Everyone desire’s and rightly so to find that right person whom they just click with, we do this by observing someone’s character and determining on a number of factor’s how compatible we are assuming that one is doing so in a Catholic manner and not on secular superficial value’s

Also in reply to Ysara’s location, when you say you live in Northern Ireland i assume you mean the Northern PART of Ireland and not the British term to describe the area they still occupy 😛
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Hello Paddy…

Actually, the article isn’t merely talking about marriages but gives advice on how to maintain any type of relationship. Obviously attractiveness and compatibility play an important part in relationships. That’s how you first know who you become friends with or take into consideration someone who you want to date to get to know better or decide if your bf/gf is someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Being with someone who has an awesome character and someone you get along with generally is a good first step in any relationship. But regardless on whether that person remains charming or friendly, to make the relationship a lasting one hinges on YOUR character; not the other person’s, but yours.

It’s your decision to love someone regardless of their faults because everyone has their faults and shortcomings. It could be your most loving, devoted mother or your bestest friend who seems more like your brother/sister than your actual one. Or it could even be your husband/wife shock. Anyone can irritate you, offend you in some way, fail you, give you a headache, get on your last nerves, etc. But you decide to love them anyway. Ever wonder how we are suppose to live out Jesus’ command to “love our enemies”?

Please note though that obviously there are extreme cases out there where someone is involved in an abusive relationship. Having a good, solid character also means that you recognize when you’re in serious trouble and have the courage to seek help and to get out of that destructive relationship.

God bless.

OMGJ
 
OMGJ said:
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It’s your decision to love someone regardless of their faults because everyone has their faults and shortcomings. It could be your most loving, devoted mother or your bestest friend who seems more like your brother/sister than your actual one. Or it could even be your husband/wife shock. Anyone can irritate you, offend you in some way, fail you, give you a headache, get on your last nerves, etc. But you decide to love them anyway. Ever wonder how we are suppose to live out Jesus’ command to “love our enemies”?

Please note though that obviously there are extreme cases out there where someone is involved in an abusive relationship. Having a good, solid character also means that you recognize when you’re in serious trouble and have the courage to seek help and to get out of that destructive relationship.

God bless.

OMGJ
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Excellent points. 👍
 
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