Doctor prescribes condom use - advice needed

[1ke]

What about PCOS and other medical conditions? I thought birth control was allowed

Contraception is never permissible.

Regarding a medical condition, a treatment that has the secondary and unintended effect of temporary or permanent sterility is permissible.

Example:

• A woman has cancer and radiation to treat cancer makes her sterile. Morally permissible. Radiation treats cancer. Has unintended side effect of sterility.
• A woman has cancer and is taking chemo. Doctor says “you shouldn’t get pregnant while on chemo” and suggested an IUD. Not morally permissible. IUD doesn’t treat cancer, it is only contraceptive.

Not sure what you were thinking of regarding PCOS.

 

[OKComputer]

Would it be possible to find an orthodox Catholic doctor and get their opinion?

 

[slomotion]

To the OP, first, I’m very sorry to hear of your potential miscarriage. That is certainly a great difficulty starting out in your marriage.

Unfortunately, the advice your doctor has given you is not morally licit. You cannot do a moral evil for the sake of producing some kind of good; the ends do not justify the means. You could either abstain in this time, or else roll the dice with the test being interfered with, though that doesn’t seem prudent.

Thank you Father, I appreciate you and everyone taking the time to explain.

I would not go against your doctor’s orders to have sex without protection. That would be foolish.

Her worry is not that sex itself is risky. Her main concern seemed to be that a possible pregnancy could alter the results of the test; my hormone levels would increase when they are looking for them to decrease after a miscarriage.

Have you been unaware prior to this that contraception is immoral? This should have been discussed in premarital preparation, but I’m not sure of your background

We knew that contraception is immoral in most cases (I’ve heard conflicting opinions about extenuating circumstances in the past but I am by no means educated in the details of any of that), but our premarital preparation did not go into any detail about certain circumstances. They mostly just encouraged the use of NFP and did not explain that contraception is wrong, or why, so I was simply seeking clarification.

It’s always “OK” to have sexual relations with your spouse if both are OK with it.

It isn’t smart to go against doctor’s orders if he’s told you that another pregnancy might be dangerous, but ultimately it is your decision together with your spouse.

Thank you. The tests they have done so far indicate that the miscarriage is complete, and I think that if I am feeling okay, it would not be “foolish” to be with my husband.

I’m no doctor but I assume that means the mix of the new zygote with the miscarried body elements could result in contamination / infection / sepsis / that sort of thing. Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe @slomotion can clarify what bodily “harm” the doctor mentioned.

She seemed more concerned about a potential pregnancy interfering with results of a test that is meant to detect HCG levels, and the possibility of my body not being ready for another pregnancy so soon. She did not mention the risk of infection although I know that risk is present.

This will pass. Please accept my condolences and prayers for the two of you

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. It’s been one of the hardest things we’ve experienced and the fact that it’s a “taboo” thing to talk about makes it harder. Only those who have gone through it can understand, I think. I really appreciate your prayers also. Again I appreciate everyone taking the time to explain. With this clarification we will avoid contraception and abstain if necessary.

 

[slomotion]

By the way, @slomotion, I’m very sorry for your loss.

Thank you <3

 

[slomotion]

Thank you for taking time to explain. I appreciate your thoughtful responses.

 

[Rau]

One could equally say the primary intent is to avoid a life-endangering situation that will be caused by the conceptus

Such reasoning could then be applied to justify all manner of acts. Acts are not assuredly good simply because they result in a good or avoid a potential bad outcome (and that that’s our intention). The ends are not justified by the means. The means must itself also be good, and the church teaches that this means - contraception - is always wrong to choose.

 

[1ke]

They mostly just encouraged the use of NFP and did not explain that contraception is wrong, or why,

I wish they’d given you more info and better info.

I’d encourage you to learn a method of NFP. Creighton, Billings, Marquette, and Sympto-Thermal methods are all modern methods of NFP.

The video “Contraception, Why Not?” By Dr Janet Smith is very good, perhaps you and your husband might watch it, not sure if it’s available online free or not.