Does anyone else....

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I live in a family of lapsed Catholics, my kids, my brothers and sisters. My wife is non-Catholic almost agnostic/atheist. For a time I too was a lapsed Catholic. During that time only my brother-in-law stayed faithful. Then I returned, and a few years later one of my brothers and his entire family returned or was converted,

I also am concerned for the rest of my families spiritual welfare. I pray for them often and I hope some day most or all of them return as well. Even if they do not, I trust that the Lord will still accept them along with their indiscretions.

I get some criticisms or ribbing from some of them once in a while. My wife and kids like to debate me on pro-life and same sex marriage issues.

I send my lapsed Catholic relatives a Christmas and Easter message urging them to at least go and visit God once or twice a year. Most ignore me, but I want to at least make the suggestion. Maybe some day one or two may get the notion to turn back to God. Recently, I’ve gotten some green scapulars in the hope that I can al least get my kids and wife on track. I’ll get them blessed and we’ll see how that turns out.

Last year, I got each of my kids a miraculous medal for Christmas. Not much came from that, none got into any accidents so maybe it at least protected them from injury or harm.
 
i’m lucky to have my wife, but i think our Church is a VERY lonely place. Catholic Churches, in my experience, tend to be the coldest, unfriendliest places on earth. i have come to the conclusion that we are really “on our own” when it comes to faith in our Church. in my experience, there is absolutely NO community in the Catholic Church, so if you don’t have family to support you in your faith, you basically do it alone.
 
Dang71,

Become a reader,
Go to the picnic,
Go to CCD classis,
Join KofC,
Be an usher,
 
Monica4316 said:
…feel really alone in their faith at home, or with friends, or at work, etc?

😦

I’m the only Catholic in my family and sometimes I hear comments about it that really hurt. I try not to show it, but I’m starting to feel really lonely. Whenever I mention anything about my faith, even going to Mass or to confession, I can see that my family doesn’t really approve.

I’m not saying this to complain, but I’m just wondering if there’s anyone else and if maybe we can talk how to deal with it and maybe pray for each other 🙂
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Hey Monica,
Code: 
   Yeah, I grew up in a different denomination of Christianity and feel very alone around my own family.  They are narrow and some what legalistic in their perspective.  Its sad sometimes, but it in no way stands between me and God.  I would love it if my family were free from the blindness that they suffer under,... We have to remember that prayer changes things and that God is doing His work in His own timing - we have to trust Him with our hurts.  He is our source of strength and joy - let that be your life and your family may be drawn to what God is doing through you.
Have a great day!
SW
 
Hi Monica,

I’m really happy you posted this question. It is something I have also been dealing with for many years. It is aggravating and heartbreaking at times. I want to share so many things with people and they tolerate me at best but I just keep right on talking in spite of their bored looks and rolled eyes. Sometimes I’m really worried that they’ll find me annoying or acting holier than thou and the occassional person will be inspired and surprise me. I have prayed for a Catholic friend for many years now. God has blessed me over the years with some wonderful devoutly Catholic online friends. I married one of them 🙂 His faith and devotion attracted me to him and since he’s come to America, he’s become like everyone else… indifferent.

It has been wonderful to read all the experiences in here. It let me know that I’m not alone, and I hope you see that too Monica. Some of you have such a beautiful perspective on the situation we’re in. Although I wouldn’t go so far as to say Catholic churches are the coldest places on earth, it would be nice to experience a little more oneness. My parish is dying. There is no KofC, we’re being “twinned” with another local parish to make up for the lack of priests etc.

I go to daily mass at the Cathedral downtown near my office just to center myself on what matters and I admit that when I see another person roughly my age (30ish) I hope God will find a way to introduce me to them so we can share the faith and encourage one another. It’s not essential that they be my age but I would think we’d have a lot more in common but I’ll be happy with anyone of any generation that loves God and our faith. So far… no luck lol. Maybe God really does want to isolate us for a while, as another poster wrote, just to show us how to lean on Him. I will pray on that.

It is also nice to come in here and read (I don’t post usually, but I will start 🙂 ) you are all lights in the darkness.

Monica, in case your inbox isn’t flooded yet, please feel free message me anytime!

God bless,
Kathryn
 
Hi, seems your in good company here!
Why is it in the midst of even those closest to us we feel alone?
I’ve asked this question,and the answer I found in my heart was because we are still wanting the world.
Like so many I have experienced the need to talk about my faith, to share the glory we feel inside and find that when we talk openly with those who feel similar about our Lord
it is then we hear the Holy Spirit speak" have you felt that? like words come out of your mouth that are not your own and while speaking your listening also!
Your never alone… Jesus sometimes seperates us from the world so as we can hear more clearly his words’ so we can feel him more fully, so we can move away from sin.
These things he does inside us, but we cling to the world looking for emotional ties, when Jesus is pulling us in one direction we struggle to hold on to our emotional needs.
Let Christ be your crutch,let him be your only companion, and you’ll be on that narrow path he spoke of.
Only Christ will give you bread, everyone else will offer you stones!
It is the bread of life that calls you out, you’ll never be free until jesus is all you need.
Love him and be loved.
May our blessed Mother comfort you, and the Holy Spirit up hold you.
 
I was talking with an uncle of mine about the dry times we experience (peaks and valleys). My uncle told me that for him the way out is found in just a few words, “I need more of you Jesus.” He said that as he prayed this prayer, God has led him out of the valleys of his life and closer to God than ever before. I have been praying this more and more and I sense God moving.

As we pray I think its important to also expect more to come. I know a lot of Christians who think they have everything figured out, or as someone else said in another post in this thread, they have “become indifferent.” My question is, how can some one grow who believes there is nothing more to learn, or if they don’t care to learn anything more. What good are prayers from a person who doesn’t expect God to do anything? Maybe those prayers keep the person from growing completely closed off from God… I don’t know… I have been blessed to know many people who want more from God and as they pray, they pray in expectation that He is going to move. If our eyes aren’t open, we won’t see. But if we are waiting in hope that God will show up, when He does, we’ll be able to see Him. Among us there may be many who will not see God answer our prayers - they miss Him because they aren’t looking. I’ve learned that, as we seek Him, God reveals Himself.
 
Monica4316 said:
…feel really alone in their faith at home, or with friends, or at work, etc?

😦

I’m the only Catholic in my family and sometimes I hear comments about it that really hurt. I try not to show it, but I’m starting to feel really lonely. Whenever I mention anything about my faith, even going to Mass or to confession, I can see that my family doesn’t really approve.

I’m not saying this to complain, but I’m just wondering if there’s anyone else and if maybe we can talk how to deal with it and maybe pray for each other 🙂
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You’re not alone in feeling alone. 🙂 My parents, siblings, and one of my aunts were baptized as Catholics, but none of them are practising. Growing up as a teen, my faith was really unstable. I really wanted to participate in the Church more but by then, my family went to church when we “felt like it”. Having Catholic friends and attending a Catholic school helped though.
'My parents and siblings are now agnostic/atheist. Whenever religion is brought up, there’s silence. It seems like my parents try to avoid it as much as possible, and when they do mention it, it’s often not positive. 😦 I don’t think they understand how people can actually take religion seriously, and disapprove of spending Sundays at mass or fasting during Lent.
Being involved at church and having a relationship with God brought me so much peace and change. I’ve made some new friends at church and love my faith… but I wish my family would be a part of it too.
 
I just felt I had to respond to this thread. I, like many of you, am virtually the only Catholic in my immediate family. My brother-in-law and his family are all Catholic, but that’s pretty much it. My sister is a convert to Catholicism, but only because she wanted to go to the same church as her husband. I know it’s more than that, but to me that seems like a pretty lame reason, if only for a united front. I converted 4 years ago (has it really been that long already???!!) back in London Ontario from Lutheranism. During that time I had a very supportive bunch of friends and when I left with my parents two years ago this December, I felt I was being torn apart from my friends at the deepest level, and my parents didn’t seem to give a damn. It still hurts a lot being away from my friends I feel I’m missing everything. My priest back east had some pretty wacky ideas (for one he doesn’t like to be called Father), but I’d give up everything here just for some time to catch up with him. He’s extended family, as well as all my friends are

My mom is a Lutheran minister and my dad, well, he doesn’t really talk about religion. My mom likes to think that Lutheranism and Catholicism are the same, and because of my former priest she feels she can receive at a Catholic Mass and vice versa, I can receive at a Lutheran service. She seems to think that that’s OK, and because my priest says it’s OK, than it is OK. I’ve tried to explain the difference, but she doesn’t want to hear it.:confused:

As a result of this move I haven’t really made any friends yet, and I don’t really want to. Last summer with a group I met back east I went to WYD Sydney. Led by an Opus Dei priest (really nice priest, and heads and tails above the priest I knew back home) I made some awesome friends, but, again, by and large it was Ontario east. When I got home, I think my parents didn’t know how to deal with me. I’ve changed for the better. I’m grateful for CAF , but it isn’t the same. I’m also grateful my parish has an Adoration Chapel, I need the Lord more than ever. It seems like I’m reverting back to my shy self, and I don’t want to. It doesn’t help that weekends at my parish are packed to say the least (5 Masses total, average of about 200 at each Mass).:eek: Talk about shock to the system. Back east, my parish had maybe 100 at a Mass, and there were only 2 Masses during the school year (it was a university parish). Let’s face it, it’s just tough being on the mountaintop (or in the valley as the case may be). I had some really ****** months late last year where I could’ve used all my friends back east, but they were not to be found. We need to stick together. I’m visiting my friends in late August, but still it’s rough being the only Catholic in a non-Catholic family. My mom might be a minister, but neither my parents nor my sister want to talk religion. My brother-in-law is another story, but it’s a far cry from London where that all my friends and I seemed to talk about.🤷

Peace,
ChantalM :byzsoc:

:grouphug:
 
More than a few saints have had major problems with their families too, as I recall. Didn’t St. Francis of Assisi get locked in a tower by his family when he announced he was joining a religious order? They thought he was just a bit too enthusiastic, and that he would eventually come around.
 
Dang71 Very true. I spent 20 years in protestant churches before coming home to the Catholic church and the only thing I miss is the family and friendship and fellowship type atmosphere. But I would not give up the Eucharist for anything in the world. Ever. I hope we can begin to change things in the Church as far as being caring and friendly. We are, after all, family.
 
I think there are many separate, but closely united, issues being addressed at once and I’d like to unpack it just a bit to shine light on them so maybe we could reflect on each in its own right.

LONELINESS/SEPARATION FROM OUR SPIRITUAL FAMILIES:
The issue Monica, the OP, addressed is the feeling of loneliness and the longing we feel for fellowship (for lack of a better word). The disciples had this with one another. They lived their lives as one body as we are all called to do. It feels, to us, that we are denied this experience.

We see the disconnectedness at our own parishes. We look around at the people in the pews and often we don’t know them, we’ve never spoken to them and we probably never will. There is a blatant tangible detachment there. It feels like a lie when we stand, sit, kneel and receive Communion as one Body of Christ. It is so easy to get distracted by this and it is natural to long for it to be better. Maybe this is part of the reason that dang71 said, “Catholic Churches, in my experience, tend to be the coldest, unfriendliness places on earth.” That may be his/her response to the detachment obvious to us all.

Why do we long for fellowship?
Is it a result of emotional ties to the world in a way that separates us from Christ? Maybe a little. Is it because the world in general is “of the world”? Probably. We all know, and most have stated, that we need to continue to pray for them.
Why are we denied it?
Is it Christ pulling us back from the world so we can learn to lean on Him alone and to become strengthened by Him alone? I’m sure, at times, this is necessary for a healthy spiritual life. But with that healthy spirit, it is natural AND it is an expression of God’s love to have the longing for it. I believe He wants us to be united through Him and for Him.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with our desire to want to commune in a very tangible way with one another. Isn’t that what drives many of us here and to similar forums? We can’t quickly separate ourselves from this world because we were all given this glimpse of His Glory and we are commanded to share it with the world. As normal social beings, we want to “commune” with our physical families so of course we also want to commune with our spiritual families.

COMMUNION:
We can take solace in the fact that we are one. Although we may not know one another, we are one in body at Mass, as we all know. We stand together to offer our prayers to our God. We kneel together to worship our King as one. We sit together to listen to Him speak to us. And most importantly we walk to up the aisle to receive Him as one in an act that says so much including that we are all of one mind and faith. (I’m not trying to diminish the very personal experience of this but only highlight a portion of the communal aspect).

I need, maybe we all need, to be aware that we are one even if we don’t seem to be. Although many of us don’t know one another personally, I am your sister. You are my brothers and sisters. We, who have had a brief glimpse of the glory of God and are responding to His call, are together at the Mass. You are never alone. When I am kneeling before His throne, I am doing so with you and vice versa. We have many friends in high places as it is said. The Angels and Communion of Saints are all with us all the time. We all worship Him together.

vs. “The World” & Our Physical Families:

The other issue that comes up is the lack of interest of our friends and physical families. Remember, the Disciples and Saints have faced this problem too. Many of them faced adversity from their respective communities. We too can overcome with the help of His Grace. I’m sure most of us are often reminded of His words about the world hating us because it hated Him first. But we are also called to evangelize. It is worth it to look crazy to 99% of the people we love if just one hears God speaking with our mouths as Korban said “…like words come out of your mouth that are not your own and while speaking your listening also!” I have seen the occasional person be inspired by it. They look at us like we’re crazy “Jesus freaks”. Fine. They killed Him and He forgave them, and even DIED for them. We can risk looking crazy for His sake and for their sake and for the sake of the Body of Christ. We must continue obeying the command to be disciples of all nations despite the persecution (or discomfort). Most of the people who posted are doing that and expressed that fact so beautifully!

We can’t be attached to the things of this world and believe they can bring us joy. But we can’t detach ourselves from our mission in this world which is to be a channel through which God showers the world with His joy.

It would be wonderful to have the fellowship to cushion some of the blow of the adversity. As most of the posters have pointed out, we have Jesus. He is our comfort and strength. But doesn’t loving Him make you want to share that love with the world? As stated in the Theology of the Body, (I’m paraphrasing) the nature of love is to grow. It gets bigger and bigger. We are finite in this body. We have to share it or burst. God’s love is too big for us to handle alone. Fellowship with one another is a steady stream of inspiration and strength. God speaks to us through one another. We can support each other and offer advice on how to best handle things in a Christian way. We can be objective for each other when we lose sight of what’s important. Fellowship is nothing to sneeze at.

Swplan76: Thank you for that thought, “I need more of you Jesus”. I will make that a part of my daily prayers and share it with others. Those few words are so profound. So much of our faith is summed up on those words. 👍
 
shastadaisy said:
Dang71 Very true. I spent 20 years in protestant churches before coming home to the Catholic church and the only thing I miss is the family and friendship and fellowship type atmosphere. But I would not give up the Eucharist for anything in the world. Ever. I hope we can begin to change things in the Church as far as being caring and friendly. We are, after all, family.
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if it wasn’t for my faith and belief in the Eucharist, it would be very difficult for me to be Catholic. as long as i have been Catholic, i have been very jealous of my protestant friends whenever i hear them talk about doing things with their church group. i’ve been all over the US, to EF or OF Masses, conservative and liberal parishes, and it is always the same cold, unfriendly atmosphere. i’ve done bible studies, young adult groups, etc. and it never changes. it’s not me, because i can, and do make friends EVERYWHERE else, but when it comes to trying to find a “church family”, my experience is the Catholic Church in the US is NOT the place to go look. heck, i even had to look outside the church for a wife, because the Catholic ladies wouldn’t even LOOK at me, let alone talk to me. thank God my wife was open to converting.
 
God wants us to be better than this:

Today’s Gospel

Jn 17:20-26

Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed saying:
“I pray not only for these,
but also for those who will believe in me through their word,
so that they may all be one,
as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
that they also may be in us,
that the world may believe that you sent me.
And I have given them the glory you gave me,
so that they may be one, as we are one,
I in them and you in me,
that they may be brought to perfection as one,
that the world may know that you sent me,
and that you loved them even as you loved me.
Father, they are your gift to me.
I wish that where I am they also may be with me,
that they may see my glory that you gave me,
because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
Righteous Father, the world also does not know you,
but I know you, and they know that you sent me.
I made known to them your name and I will make it known,
that the love with which you loved me
may be in them and I in them.”

Pray for unity. We all need to act. We all need to reach out. Who knows maybe some of us are sitting next to one another at mass, both feeling this way, talking about it online, and neither of us makes the attempt to even say hello.
 
One thing that i learned about being Christian as i get older is that involves lots of suffering. The lord told us that we would have to carry our cross daily. The Lord himself was mocked, falsely accused, laughed at, and eventually died a very brutal death. You have to ask yourself…If all these things happened to Christ…why should it be any different for me. It’s hard but leads to the ultimate reward.
 
army_girl said:
Hi Monica, I understand where you are coming from :sad_yes: I too feel this way more times than not. In my line of work the topic of ‘God’ is brought up almost daily, and not in a nice way. At home my dh tries to be supportive but even he can’t refuse to bring up negative history of the church (just to get a rise out of me!)
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Our boarder is just the same way. We were watching the news and before the anchor finished her sentence he said, “Yes, that’s like the people in the Church – deny, deny, deny,” when the story was much more complicated than that. (The last roomie was a Fundamentalist who refused to talk to me while my husband was away, citing that my husband was my “covering before the Lord.” :rolleyes:) Why can’t we find a solid Catholic boarder who pays his/her rent and doesn’t bash the Church or its people???

My husband’s father (Buddhist) is from Vietnam and has many stories about priests who broke the seal of confession to help the authorities identify their enemies. Ironically, when he came to the States, he sent my husband to Catholic school, where my husband had a difficult time socially – not because of the religion, so much, but kids were cruel to him. Now, his experience with religion is enmeshed with taunts and jeers so it’s all one event in his mind.

My mother, well, was great at using religion to her own ends – going to Church made one a hypocrite, not a better person. I was the only kid in my parochial school who wasn’t allowed to go to Mass as a punishment, or even arbitrarily. If i went, I felt guilty because I was unworthy and that I was a waste of time, although I went to Confession. How weird is that?

It’s just me and my Confirmation sponsor, who has precious little time as she is the Liturgist, a music teacher, and a mother of 2.

I really am lonely, because once the smiles after Mass are turned off, there’s no one I can turn to and say “Let’s say a decade of the rosary?” There’s no one to go to Adoration with me. There’s no one to download and listen to hymns with me. No one defends me when someone asks, “You’re not Catholic, are you?” or, “Why do you have that idol in your yard?” Gah!
 
I don’t want to hijack the thread, because it stirred up a lot for me, but I’ll explain briefly…it’s a misunderstanding of the work “cephas/kephale,” or “head.”

From Eph. 5:22-24 and 1Cor 11:1-15, the husband is the head of the family, and by extension, a head covering for his wife. According to bounced roommate’s theology, a wife can do nothing without her husband’s permission. Also, she could not speak at a Bible study or prayer meeting without her husband, because she hasn’t any of her own authority. I picked up the book, “The 10 Lies the Church tells Women” to refute him, and he left soon thereafter.
 
I’m sorry to hit a sore spot, this topic has effected many people, myself included. It is painful how we’re openly criticized and it is politically correct. I’d like to see the same people attempt to be as openly hostile to other religious groups and its members and get away with it.

Thank you for your explanation Miserissima that makes sense… well… I understand what he meant by that I just don’t see agree with the logic.
 
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