differentiate between inattentiveness or non-participation, and deeper more contemplative prayer with and in the Mass. Especially older people get into the latter more easily so be kind if we appear to be sleeping (you can nudge us if we snore) but sometimes when you think you are zoning out, you are actually internalizing what you see and hear more deeply.
My advice is going to be the opposite what you will hear from many others with good knowledge and experience. Yes a missal is helpful for newcomers, but once you know the order of the Mass, and only have to refer to it occasionally for help with the prayers and responses, put it down. Look and listen, really, with all your senses. Focus on the altar and ignore insofar as possible crying babies, choking perfumes, coughing, chattering teens, ringing cellphones, and the like. Sit where you can both see and hear. If that means coming early, spend the time with the readings before Mass so you don’t need the book, you can listen to the proclamation.
But listen not just to the readings but to all the prayers. Even if that slows you down on the responses, listen. Resolve to listen especially to the Eucharistic prayers which are so rich in conveying what the Church believes and teaches. Listen to those “throw away prayers” the ones in between the singing and readings and other action, the collect and communion prayers especially, which set the mode and theme for the day. Just listen. When your attention wanders, don’t assume you were off making shopping lists or planning tomorrow’s work, just return to the drama on the altar and listen.
my problem goes the other way, I have to be so attentive when we have first communions, RCIA rites etc., watching the behavior of teens, that I can’t “enjoy” Mass and never feel I am fully participating. I felt this way when I sang in the choir, too. So I usually go to another Mass in a another parish where I am not “on”.
