Does anyone have separate bank accounts from spouse?

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Dh and I have seperate accounts. I don’t know if we’ll be keeping it that way since I’ve now stopped working and I won’t be going back for a while.
I like my account because there are no bank fees and high interest savings (okay I don’t really have savings, but if I did…) but my bank holds cheques for 7 days and has a daily withdrawal/debit limit of $200
DH’s bank account has overdraft protection, holds amounts only over $500 and he can spend as much as he wants in a day but charges $25 a month!

I like mine better 😛 We don’t have seperate accounts for any real reason, just because this is how we had things set up for ourselves before marriage.
 
My fiance and I have sat down and talked about this as well. Our plan is that 2/3 of our checks go into a joint accout with the remainder going to a personal account. The personal account is for gas, books, cds, Christmas presents, birthday gifts, clothing etc. Joint account covers bills and vacations. We figure it’s the easiest way to not argue over money. However, if one of us wants to make a purchase of an item over 100 dollars they need to consult the other, it’s courtesy and also the other might know that there is something coming up soon they need to be prepared for financially.
 
Hello! First post ever. 😛 I have a separate bank account because when my father died, even though everything was joint with right of survivorship, the bank froze the joint account until probate was completed. Mother’s social security check was deposited to the joint account so she was not able to access her money. She advised all of her girls to open separate accounts to avoid a difficult situation especially on top of the death of a spouse.

Over time, my separate account became a deposit account for grocery store savings from coupon use, pin money from personal thrift and other sources. I enjoy the ability to buy gifts for the family and small things for myself or my home.

I have worked most of my life and my paycheck always went into the joint account, but each spouse should have some small amount of money for their personal use.
 
Just another perspective. I know this is not for everybody, but this is what works for me.

I used to have to stress over the bills every month for similar reasons. So I told my (wonderful) DH that I could no longer be responsible for paying the bills - I left it in his hands. Now if he spend too much, it is him who has to take care of the “consequences”. I don’t worry about the bills at all anymore. I don’t worry about whether we can afford things anymore. I generally don’t even look at the account anymore. If he gets behind on a bill, he will deal with the creditors or the shut off notice or whatever. If I need something, I ask him for cash or to buy it for me.

For us, this has made all the difference in the world. Again, I don’t say this is for everyone, but it has worked for me.
 
nana3 said:
I was just wondering this question for my dh spends way too much money on junk. So we argue over money. I suggested we have separate bank accounts and split the bills equally. He said it was the start of a divorce. I don’t see it that way and it would alleviate one source of arguement at least. He says it is wrong.

So anyone out there do this or is it wrong for married couples to do this?
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We have a yours, mine, ours account. Definitely keeps us out of divorce court, or either of us being convicted of a capital crime.😉
 
RachelB said:
Just another perspective. I know this is not for everybody, but this is what works for me.

I used to have to stress over the bills every month for similar reasons. So I told my (wonderful) DH that I could no longer be responsible for paying the bills - I left it in his hands. Now if he spend too much, it is him who has to take care of the “consequences”. I don’t worry about the bills at all anymore. I don’t worry about whether we can afford things anymore. I generally don’t even look at the account anymore. If he gets behind on a bill, he will deal with the creditors or the shut off notice or whatever. If I need something, I ask him for cash or to buy it for me.

For us, this has made all the difference in the world. Again, I don’t say this is for everyone, but it has worked for me.
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It would be advisable to have a sit down once each month to go over things. We need to be prepared should an accident or illness strike, in order to care for your family having some knowledge of your financial business is vital.
 
We have His, mine, and ours accounts. All of my paycheck goes into Mine, which pays tuition. Most of his goes into Ours, which pays bills, and His pays his personal items.
 
We have joint checking and savings and have had since we were engaged. Ideally I think its best for people to have joint accounts but I do realize it works for some people to have separate accounts.
Basically what we do is if one of us wants to buy something besides gas, food, etc and its more than 100 dollars it has to be discussed. In the beginning we discussed everything that was gas or food etc but now we know when money is super tight and we can buy nothing extra and when we have a bit to play with. We always discuss every purchase over 100… communication is so key and talking about all this stuff just seems to keep us on the same track…🤷
 
Having separate bank accounts won’t solve money arguments.

My husband and I retained our separate accounts (though we have access to them- sort of a Freedom of Information Act for our marriage;) ) from before we were married. Money arguments never went away, though.

Suppose he spends too much a certain month. Are you going to let him accrue a finance charge or be penalized? Probably not because that would ultimately take money away from you as a couple. So you’ll still argue. Suppose you are saving a lot of money and putting away for a new car, home or retirement. Is it going to make you mad at the unfairness of you saving for you as a couple while he spends money on fun for himself? ABSOLUTELY. (Yes, that is personal experience, even though only as a newlywed.)

Therefore, I think you shouldn’t look to separate accounts for a solution. You will still argue until you come up with a reasonable budget together and stick with it. That’s why I don’t beat my husband anymore:thumbsup: 👍
 
Phemie said:
If we didn’t have separate accounts we’d have been bankrupt long ago for the same reason, DH spends too much. We have a joint chequing into which his paycheque and pension cheque go. From that I pay the bills and move a lot of the money into my “family” savings account. I put my own paycheque into my personal savings account. It works for us. We’ve been married 32 years.
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Phemie, my husband and I have much the same set-up as you. We have a joint chequing account where his salary goes and our regular bills and personal spending money comes from that. My salary goes into my savings account.

I work as a Financial Manager and I am the financial manager at home too! It has always been that way. When I first met DH he was a student living far from home with a monthly allowance from his father. By mid-month he was broke!

Within 2 or 3 months of meeting him I took charge of his allowance and not only did he not go broke before the next allowance arrived, he was saving! So, from then on I have been the one to manage our funds. We have been married 38 years and will be spending some of our savings to spend 3 weeks in Europe in September.

Whatever works best for the family economy and harmonious relations!
 
Joan_M said:
Phemie, my husband and I have much the same set-up as you. We have a joint chequing account where his salary goes and our regular bills and personal spending money comes from that. My salary goes into my savings account.

I work as a Financial Manager and I am the financial manager at home too! It has always been that way. When I first met DH he was a student living far from home with a monthly allowance from his father. By mid-month he was broke!

Within 2 or 3 months of meeting him I took charge of his allowance and not only did he not go broke before the next allowance arrived, he was saving! So, from then on I have been the one to manage our funds. We have been married 38 years and will be spending some of our savings to spend 3 weeks in Europe in September.

Whatever works best for the family economy and harmonious relations!
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We’d been married a year when I figured out that if I didn’t pay the bills they wouldn’t get paid.

My FIL had warned me that his son was just like he was: “money runs through our fingers like water so you’ll want to do what his mother did and get control of the finances.” I didn’t pay attention to this at first but by our first anniversary I’d discovered a loan from a finance company which he wasn’t paying – and since he was out of town on temporary duty I was stuck dealing with the finance company. I never knew why he’d borrowed the money or exactly when but I said “ENOUGH! From now on I pay all the bills, hand them over.” At that point I didn’t trust him with money.

Nothing he’s done in 31 years has made me more trustful where money is concerned. His mantra was “I’m in the military, I don’t need to plan for retirement, we’ll be taken care of.” Ha! Famous last words. I set up the Retirement Plans, I make sure money is paid into them. I make accelerated payments on the mortgage and I keep credit card purchases under control. I loathe owing money. We just had to buy a new car (DH struck a moose with the last one and it was a write off) and I opted for higher payments for 3 years rather than much lower payments for 5. Why should I give a a car dealership all that interest?
 
I have a lot of different views to consider and some ideas that I like, but am unsure if they will work in our marriage. One thing that I have to deal with and it is a problem in almost every area of our marriage, is my dh’s mental illness. He doesn’t see that he spends too much. He doesn’t see all his addictions. We can’t communicate like a normal couple about things like finances because we argue. I hate arguing over things like this, but I feel that if I don’t do something, we will never have anything for retirement. I am like Phemie. I hate having debt. I like to pay more on the mortgage if we have some money left. My dh is the opposite. He likes to spend it rather than save or use it towards much needed bills. He can’t have control of our finances. When I met him, his finances was a mess and he owed fees everywhere. He made checks with no funds etc. You get the picture.

Well, anyway, thanks for all the great advice and different opinions. I might try some and see if they work and save us from argument at least in this area. This the second thing we argue the most about. I appreciate all the advice. For now, I won’t do the separate accounts since dh is so against it. I am hoping a counseling session with one of the priest at our parish could help us. DH said he was going to make an appointment, but he hasn’t yet. I don’t know if he would ever.🤷

Thanks again everyone!! God Bless you all.🙂
 
We have separate accounts. I think we might switch to one account when I stop working.

I don’t see how having two accounts will stop a frivolous spender. Do you mean having a secret separate account? Better to chop up the checks and credit cards. Take away his wallet! 😃
 
hasikelee said:
We have separate accounts. I think we might switch to one account when I stop working.

I don’t see how having two accounts will stop a frivolous spender. Do you mean having a secret separate account? Better to chop up the checks and credit cards. Take away his wallet! 😃
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Not a secret account, since he knows it exists and pretty much what’s in it, he just doesn’t have access to it. By the same token, he knows he won’t answer phone calls from collection agencies.
 
My mom encourages secret accounts and she did so with my dad. When my dad found out he was so angry until he found out that she had saved $45000.00 and than he was happy. They used it to buy a new home. I did mention it one time to dh what my mom did and he told me that if I wanted to have a secret account for our future, to do so. I wonder if I should for I know I can save money in it. I just don’t want dh to later forget that he said it was okay and than get angry about it.
 
I’m not married yet, but I’d like to have separate and joint accounts with my fdh. My thought was that the joint account would be for household expenses, and the separate accounts would be for play money. My parents had that system, and it worked well for them. The separate accounts aren’t secret, just separate.

I like the idea of separate accounts because I worry about money. I know that my boyfriend likes to spend money impulsively - nothing big, but he’ll occasionally decide to buy something (like a second-hand guitar) that wasn’t in his budget. Knowing myself, that would drive me nuts - I like sticking to my budget, and if I decided I wanted a guitar, I’d wait until next month so I could write it into the budget. Rather than subjecting my fdh to my obsessive freakouts about unbudgeted spending, I’d just write “play money” into the budget, it’d go into his account, and I wouldn’t worry about how and whether he spent it. I suspect my “play money” account would be savings, and I’d probably be able to use it for family vacations or big-ticket purchases.

Most of the money, though, would be in the joint account. My fdh and I have pretty similar attitudes to money. We save and invest first, and cut whatever we can from the budget to keep expenses low. It’s only in play money that we differ.
 
We have separate accounts. No particular reason. We never discussed getting a joint actually but I prefer separate anyway.
 
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