I am so sorry for your loss. I have not had this experience; only past experience of divorce after a long time marriage and that was a very difficult time. What got me through it most was receiving the Sacraments more often - more confession, more Daily Mass. It was also at that lonely time that I God blessed me with the discovery of truly blessed spiritual reading that was truly a comfort to me, that made me glad for this long passage of loneliness because it was in this I found more of Jesus. You can pm me here if you want more info on that.
Also there is a wealth of inspiring and blessed reading and particularly a booklet I will link from the free online library at
DirectionForOurTimes.org - all of the publications have an Imprimatur, which is not easy to get, and gives you the reassurance you will not be reading anything contrary to Church teaching. At their home page, you click on “resources” on the link bar near the top, and scroll down to “free library”. When you click on that and get to that page, it starts with “Volumes”, and the booklets are below that. The booklet is “Heaven Speaks to those Who Have Experienced Tragedy” - losing a husband certainly fits that bill, and here it is a direct link to it (and you can print it if you’d prefer):
https://directionforourtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/HS-Tragedy-Body.pdf
I think it will really bless you. You can look at the other topics too and see if one seems right for you. I love them all.
If I didn’t have anywhere to go for help with grief I would request a counselor from this at Gregory Popcak’s online Catholic counseling, linked here:
Jump to: Tele-Counseling FAQs Working as a fully-integrated team, our counselors are licensed professionals with additional training in pastoral theology. When you contact us, we will match you with the therapist whose expertise is best suited to your concerns. …Read More →
catholiccounselors.com
I am sure that someone there would help, and maybe direct you an online group, as well as suggest tools for coping with grief. I don’t have any further info on that, but it’s where I’d start if I were in your shoes.
One of the most lovely books I know is a biography that includes a good thick section on the author’s process of grief after the loss of his wife is A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. It is a book I have read a few times over the years, cover to cover each time, savoring it each time like a visit with a most dear old friend. Here is a link; you can red reviews:
https://www.amazon.com/Severe-Mercy-Sheldon-Vanauken/dp/0060688246?tag=urlfronurl2-20
May God bless you. He is near.
