Does anyone NOT cohabit?

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There are lots of people who save their virginity for marriage and don’t cohabit prior to the wedding day.

I happen to think that they are the smart set, and very cool people who are fun to be with. 🙂
 
Well I don’t, and I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who also wants to wait for marriage. We’re working through Theology of the Body with our Bible study right now. It’s given me a whole new prospective on marriage. I would highly recommend it, but it is a bit dense for me. Good thing our priest is great at explaining things.
 
jmcrae said:
There are lots of people who save their virginity for marriage and don’t cohabit prior to the wedding day.

I happen to think that they are the smart set, and very cool people who are fun to be with. 🙂
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Indeed! And its counter-cultural too, which makes it a little chic. 😉
 
I cohabit, and I’m proud of it. But then again, I’m married to my cohabitator. 😉
 
I dont cohabitate and wont. I have 2 1/2 months and I’ll be married 😃 . My fiance and I picked up our engagement photos from the photography girl and that topic came up. She seemed happy to know that we are “traditional” in that respect.

I think it is so sad that it is the “PC” thing to do to cohabitate. If you do not cohabitate before marriage you almost have to apologize or give a long explaination for when you dont. I feel like anytime the topic comes up I have to give an “excuse” for not shacking up. Sad indeed… However, it is a great conversation starter and great way to evangelize 👍

I am so sick of having to sugar coat all things Christian or moral in the workplace and at school. I am wish Christians (myself included) would be more bold when proclaiming the Truth and Jesus Christ!
 
Modern morality can go play on the railway track. It’s based on Kant’s philosophy rooted in agnosticism and subjectivism, but taken even more out of context and headed much more on the relativist side as well. The result is that:
  1. There’s nothing objective, which means things are what we see them. Objective qualities are an abstraction lost on people. This breeds even more egocentrism.
  2. There’s nothing objective, meaning there are no moral rules binding on all. This means we can essentially make the rules for ourselves. That means we can make it good to do what feels good to us.
  3. There’s nothing absolute, so no nagging reminders of there being one Truth.
However, the reality is that there is objective existence, that there is absolute Truth (the Truth is ultimately God, that means the Truth is a person). The world is lost.

Now, how much do we need to care about their, “that’s not done anymore,” or, “that’s from the fourties,” or whatever else?

As for me, I don’t get the whole sexual thing. I mean, sure, I feel awfully lonely sometimes when passing the flower stall or the city park gate and thinking there’s no girl to get it for or go there with, but the whole focus on sex? There are so many things to do together and so many bodily needs - including more pressing ones. If cohabitation goes… I wouldn’t be a formalist about sharing rooms or something like that, but I don’t like any try-before-buy attitudes or the false-obligation inflicted by peer pressure (as in if you don’t have sex because you’re Catholic, at least still live together, blaah). Some things are best reserved for marriage. Besides, temptations come to everyone. You never know what may happen.

As for the sinfulness of cohabitation, it doesn’t always have to include premarital sexual relations. Sometimes it feels to me like people make a bigger thing out of cohabitation than out of premarital sex. Let me state that cohabitation is largely a social thing, causing largely a social outrage, whereas premarital sexual relations are the real sin there.
 
It makes me sick that people have to live together before marriage. But it is true now a days people do not have morals.
 
I never cohabitated before getting married. We did go away on vacations together a few times but nothing ever happend and I always had my own seperate bed. Now that I looked back, even if we did have the same bed, he was respectful enough not to try anything. I don’t recommend living with someone before marriage but there are a lot of people that swear by it.
 
We did not cohabit nor would we have done so. DH did cohabit with his first wife and regrets it. I am sad for couples who do cohabit as there doesn’t seem to be anything new, different or exciting to look forward to after marriage.

I always forget the right language to use that won’t cause a thread change on how Chovy doesn’t know the right words, but DH’s first marriage was annulled (in case you were worried that I was an adulterer giving advice on whether people should cohabit or not.)
 
We didn’t live together until Marriage and neither did one of my brothers. Another brother DID live together but then they got married shortly after. The last brother… is living together and still not married. Probably never will.
 
My niece is. I love her and her fiance dearly and pray that they get married and get things regulated soon.
 
Just to show some support for the subject, I am 21, and plan on never cohabiting before marriage. Hopefully, unless under some circumstance it were to be necessary, which i really hope would not happen.
 
It might be my naivete coming to the fore, here, but I think I can pretty confidently say that my fiance and I will never cohabit, even if presented with some circumstances in which it would seem like the easiest thing for us to do.

We both see those circumstances as highly likely (we’re graduating from college in December, getting married in April…I might be starting graduate school in a town different from both our hometown and where we’ll be getting married). Unless the alternative is one of us being completely homeless, we won’t live together–even if that means taking a hit financially, or being apart from each other (by hundreds of miles) for those few months.

This is partially because the sexual temptation would be strong before we were married if we lived together, but I think we’d avoid it more because of the impression it can give to others (like I said before, Catholic morality is counter-cultural…why not go all the way?). Also, like I was alluding to before…there is this intimacy in living with someone else, married or not…you know what they’re ‘like,’ you see them before they’re up and showered in the morning, or late at night when they can’t sleep. And for people in love, living together brings even more physical intimacy (I mean non-sexual here… in terms of closeness), and I just think it’s another one of those gifts of marriage reserved for after the wedding.

I dunno, I just think there’s something to be said for holding fast to our moral obligations as Catholics, even if that does mean a little more temporal discomfort. 🤷
 
Biblioassistant said:
My niece is. I love her and her fiance dearly and pray that they get married and get things regulated soon.
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Marriage does not “regulate” misconceptions and attitudes contradictory to maried conjugal life. In fact, hopefully, in the case of your cited and other similiar couples, the “regulation” of their relationship began with the marriage preparation process and will continue beyond the wedding day.
 
In response to one of the posters, I’d say that generally speaking, when you cohabit, others pretty naturally assume you are having premarital sex. If you were cohabiting and not having sex, you would probably be giving scandal because people would assume you were having sex.

I know one couple that pointedly did not cohabit, yet they did have premarital sex.

Of course, the beauty of not cohabiting means a woman doesn’t get to see the man sitting around watching TV in his underwear, belching, scratching, and worse, until the ink dries on the marriage license.😃
 
“PC” is an abbreviation for “politically correct.” It’s basically a form of fascism from the left, as opposed to the right. It says there are certain words you shouldn’t be allowed to say, certain beliefs you shouldn’t hold, etc.

It’s a lot more pervasive than most people realize. I don’t know anyone who speaks well of political correctness, but I know of few people that don’t meekly and submissively follow its dictates.
 
Hey,

I spend lunches and play video games at my FH’s apartment, but we don’t shack up and we don’t have sex.

Everybody isn’t doing it. I’d say casual sex/one night stands are waaay more common than living together. Take, for example, my work environment. There are three groups: married, single, cohabitating.

10% married, 10% cohabitating, 80% having sex with everyone they can.
 
hasikelee said:
Take, for example, my work environment. There are three groups: married, single, cohabitating.

10% married, 10% cohabitating, 80% having sex with everyone they can.
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90% rate of self-denigration …abhorring!
 
My husband and I didn’t cohabit, and neither did/are most of our friends who are dating.

The divorce rate for couples who cohabit before marriage is 75% (higher than the national average). I have told this to friends who were considering moving in with their boyfriends/girlfriends. They are always surprised because there is a common belief out there that cohabiting is a good “test” to see if a marriage would work out.

Before we were married, when my fiance and I were looking for an apartment, we explained to one prospective landlord that I would be living there, and fiance would moving a few months later after the wedding. The landlord’s joking reply was “Well, I will support your alternative lifestyle!” But I think he was kind of impressed at the same time.
 
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