Does "Engaged Encounter" address abuse?

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Welcome to the forum.

Bigger question:

If someone is verbally abusive, why consider marriage to that person? This behavior does not go away after marriage but generally gets worse.
 
If engaged encounter is anything like marriage encounter (which I have experienced) I’d say no. They don’t address any specific problems. Instead, they teach you how to communicate with your loved one and solve your own problems.

But, if you’re asking this question for yourself, I’d say getting married to a verbally abusive person is an unwise choice.
 
Hi Glitterglo: I am not familiar with the nuts and bolts of Engaged Encounter, but since it derived from Marriage Encounter many of the concepts are the same so I will answer from that perspective: I believe the answer is “no”. I don’t think the weekend is designed to specifically address any issues you may be having - it is designed to enable you and your future spouse to discuss all issues yourselves. See here for more info:
engagedencounter.org/

I will offer unsolicited advice based on nothing more than 21 years married to a woman who is much better than I deserve: If you are experiencing verbal abuse in your relationship that affects you so much you are hoping the marriage preparation program specifically addresss it, you need to stop your plans now. It will not get better by a weekend and may only get worse. Any type of abuse is a clear sign that your fiancee does not value you as an equal or cannot emotionally control themselves. Either one is a poor way to start a life together.

God Bless.
 
DD recently completed the Focus test (not sure if that is the exact name for the interview engaged couples complete) and it did have questions designed to bring out control issues, but not specifically abuse.
 
TheDoctor said:
beckycmarie;3701259:
If engaged encounter is anything like marriage encounter (which I have experienced) I’d say no./quote] How’s your dialogue?🙂
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LOL - uh we haven’t done one of those dialogs since then. Neither hubs nor I really bought into the whole thing, or had any desire to stick with it after we left. I thought it was kinda gimmicky, but maybe it works for some people.
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glitterglo said:
Specifically, verbal abuse?

Thanks,

j
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Absolutley not. Engaged encounter is not therapy. It does not deal with topics that should be handled by mental health professionals.

What is your purpose in asking this question? It’s sort of an odd question.
 
I didn’t go on Engaged Encounter as such, but we had a weekend course we were supposed to go on as an engaged couple. There were some personality tests and questions to talk through together in preparation. It came out during those questions that my ex-fiancee and I both had some serious issues, and weren’t ready for marriage. We broke up soon after. It hurt but it was for the best.
 
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