Does everyone have a pre-nup?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lifeisbeautiful3
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Lifeisbeautiful3

Guest
When Catholics marry, they have to discern whether they are doing so with recognition that a Divorce is possible. Pre-nuptial agreements are uniquely interesting, as they can suggest that the couple is defining the dissolution of their marriage even before it starts! Pre-nups typically DO define the parameters surrounding the civil dissolution of a marriage.

That said, even in the absence of a customized pre-nuptial agreement, every married couple (at least in the US) is already subject to a pre-nup - the underlying laws of the state in which the couple resides. A pre-nup, then, basically customizes the terms following a divorce. In the absence of a pre-nup, however, a couple who marries is subject to the laws already in place in the state.

Is it fair to say that everyone who’s married already has a pre-nup? If so, why the backlash against couple who customize theirs to fit their unique needs?
 
Last edited:
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
Is it fair to say that everyone who’s married already has a pre-nup
Click to expand...
No. The state laws on the books apply to everyone regardless of their individual will on the matter. These laws do not determine the will when the couple consents to marriage.
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
If so, why the backlash against couple who customize theirs to fit hire unique needs?
Click to expand...
A couple who attempts to enter into a prenuptial agreement must have that agreement presented to the Church for investigation.

There are some cases where a prenuptial agreement can be legitimate and not contravene the valid consent and intent of marriage. Other times, it may be an indicator that the couple is incapable of contracting valid marriage. Each situation is unique.
 
1ke said:
Other times, it may be an indicator that the couple is incapable of contracting valid marriage.
Click to expand...
This will always bug me about the Church’s view on marriage. To equate a prenup with disputing the permanence of marriage is odd. When I put on my seatbelt it is not an indication that I intend to crash the car. But to behave as if all crashes are avoidable wouldn’t be prudent.
 
HerCrazierHalf said:
This will always bug me about the Church’s view on marriage. To equate a prenup with disputing the permanence of marriage is odd. When I put on my seatbelt it is not an indication that I intend to crash the car. But to behave as if all crashes are avoidable wouldn’t be prudent.
Click to expand...
The Church doesn’t take a unilateral position on prenuptial agreements. In some cases they are legitimate and not an indicator of issues with intent or consent. In other cases they are.

It’s an individual situation that would have to be addressed as part of the premarital investigation.
 
I would never marry a person who would require a pre-nup. When I got married it was for life. I feel those who want a pre-nup do not believe enough in their marriage to be and are hedging against it before it starts.
 
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
When Catholics marry, they have to discern whether they are doing so with recognition that a Divorce is possible.
Click to expand...
Not really sure what you’re getting at here. As far as I know Catholics marry with the understanding that they are entering into an indissoluble sacrament that lasts until the death of one spouse.
 
My original thought here is that even if you don’t formally sign one, you’re still subject to prenuptial conditions that dictate what occurs upon dissolution of marriage. Akin to what would happen if you die. You can have a Will or leave it to the laws that are pre-existing. A prenup merely customizes those rules

What if your significant other died, and you chose to marry someone who has children. Would you want to defer to the laws of the state, or ensure that your young children are protected?
 
I’m saying that some people enter into a union with the recognition that divorce is possible. Others do not.

Some say that that the existence of a prenup implies that they are entering into the sacrament thinking that there is the possibility of a divorce. But, all unions are subject to a prenup; whether customized to their needs, or based on laws of their state.
 
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
What if your significant other died, and you chose to marry someone who has children. Would you want to defer to the laws of the state, or ensure that your young children are protected?
Click to expand...
In germany, child custody legal issues can´t be adressed in a pre-nup, it´s up to the divorce court/the living spouse with custody after the death of te other spouse.
Of course there are legal restrictions around a civil marriage - and this is good! Not always in the best possible way, but in general, I like it.
 
I married a man who has a child from a previous marriage (marriage declared invalid). We actually own two houses but rent one out. We have agreed that if anything happened to Hubby my stepdaughter would inherit the rental house. (We have life insurance on both mortgages so if Hubby fell over dead the mortgage is automatically paid off. Hubby purchased the first house before we married so my name is not on that one, but we purchased the second house together and own it jointly; if I fell over dead that house is paid off.) We felt that it was important for DSD to be looked after if something happened to Hubby. If she sold the house she would have enough to pay for her college education and possibly some extra as well. This was a joint decision and it was actually my idea. I actually earn more than Hubby does, but I’ve always told him there isn’t “my” money and “his” money from my perspective; there’s just “our” money. (He agrees with me.)
 
His_helpmeet said:
I married a man who has a child from a previous marriage (marriage declared invalid). We actually own two houses but rent one out. We have agreed that if anything happened to Hubby my stepdaughter would inherit the rental house. (We have life insurance on both mortgages so if Hubby fell over dead the mortgage is automatically paid off. Hubby purchased the first house before we married so my name is not on that one, but we purchased the second house together and own it jointly; if I fell over dead that house is paid off.) We felt that it was important for DSD to be looked after if something happened to Hubby. If she sold the house she would have enough to pay for her college education and possibly some extra as well. This was a joint decision and it was actually my idea. I actually earn more than Hubby does, but I’ve always told him there isn’t “my” money and “his” money from my perspective; there’s just “our” money. (He agrees with me.)
Click to expand...
Do you have all of this legally spelled out out?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top