Does EVERYONE have a purpose?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lovedance4ever
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lovedance4ever

Guest
Sometimes I wonder why I am here or if I even have a purpose. I’m a 20 (almost 21) year old girl, and I feel like I’m just a useless human being. I have many physical problems, which resulted from very intensive dance. I was trying to be a professional, and right before I was supposed to attend one of the most prestigious dance institutions in NY, I severely injured my spine and had to quit dance altogether. It broke my heart. I really believe that a part of me died when that happened. As a result from inactivity, I gained weight, and the physical pain has been an endless cycle (lose weight, re-injure myself, gain weight, etc).

I am sure that by now I sound like a broken record when I say I have no friends, but truly, that has been the biggest mystery in my life since I was twelve. I do not believe that I come across as needy, I am a quiet person, and perhaps that is off-putting? Through the years, I have tried changing myself, joining groups, volunteering, etc, but to no avail. My faith has always been a big part of my life, and any time that I would make friends, I would always lose them because they thought my views made me uptight and boring. I do not go around trying to convert people; I keep my beliefs to myself. But when push comes to shove, if I feel like something is immoral, I will either speak out, or leave the situation. For example, I had one “friend” last year who brought me back to her dorm room to hang out. When I entered her room, there was a couple having sex, and bottles of hard liquor scattered throughout the room. They asked if I wanted to join, but I declined and left.

I was also molested by a neighborhood boy when I was a child, and threatened physically numerous times in my teen years by other bullies. One group of so-called friends tried to lock me in a room with a sixty year old man (who had fondled me before) when I was fifteen. That was the last straw for me, and probably when I started experiencing severe depression.

I’m very much alone, and often left to the darkness of my own mind. I used to cut, but thankfully, have resisted the urge to do so for a while now. Between the physical pain, and loneliness, I have begun to wonder if I even have a purpose here on earth. Was I a mistake?

My parents did not have me until their early forties, as they were unable to conceive for the first fourteen years of their marriage. Could it have been that God did not intend for me to be born, but my parents pushed it? I feel like an accident. I feel like I’m a waste of space.
Is God punishing me? Does He hate me?

I feel very numb towards God right now. I love Him, but find it difficult to pray. It seems that my prayers go unheard, and honestly, I am angry. I’ve never felt so alone and far away from God as I do right now. I will continue to attend mass, pray the rosary, and such…but I feel distant, if that makes sense.

So I ask…do you think everyone has a purpose? Could the actions of parents turn their child into a mistake? And also, please pray for me. I am really low right now. It feels like I need to reach up to touch bottom.
 
First of all, if you’ve been sexually assaulted (especially by an adult) recently, you really need to look into filing a police report.

Secondly, you are wrong to say that you don’t have friends because I will be your friend.

Third, if you are not already, you need to look into getting counseling for emotional support.

Fourth, we all have our own calling. Sometimes, it’s not what we expect. A lot of people have injured themselves as young persons. I see it all the time at my university. I hope at some point it will help to know that you are not alone.

I will pray for you :gopray:
 
I’m sorry that God has given you so many challenges and I will pray for you. For your physical recovery, for your mental recovery, and for your spiritual recovery. May God show you that you are loved and that your life has meaning. Trust in God.
 
Yes, everyone has a purpose, and though it can often seem like it, it’s impossible that with an all knowing God that you could be born “by accident”.

Had you seen a psychologist about this? That’s the first step.
 
You are a child of God. You have a purpose in this life. Something you may say or do can have a positive impact upon another human being without you even realizing it. I’ll be praying for your health & recovery as well as for your intentions.
 
I would also like to be your friend. I believe everyone has a purpose. Each of us are made by God. We may not always know how God is using us to help others, but we need to keep the faith and keep praying and talking with God on our journey.

I hope that you go and talk to a trusted adult, priest, friend about your feelings. I agree with the other people responding to your post- look into counseling/ therapy. It will help you. Know that you are never alone. Everyone feels uncertain, at times. It is natural to feel overwhelmed, too! God is always there to help us. Remember the " Footprints" poem- God carries us when we feel alone and discouraged by life’s challenges.

Hang in there! You are loved, unique, and special because God made you!
God bless you!
You are in my prayers!
Lena:pray:😇
 
tawny said:
You are a child of God. You have a purpose in this life. Something you may say or do can have a positive impact upon another human being without you even realizing it.
Click to expand...
👍
Through the years, I have tried changing myself, joining groups, volunteering, etc, but to no avail. My faith has always been a big part of my life, and any time that I would make friends, I would always lose them because they thought my views made me uptight and boring.
Click to expand...
If faith is a big part of your life, I think you might do better in trying to make friends with those in your parish (or even other Catholic parishes around u). You might have already tried this, but have u tried volunteering or joining groups within your parish (or others)? Some have community outreach programs, youth groups, prayer groups, Bible Study groups, etc., and I believe they are great places to meet those that also take their faith seriously.

Anyway, I’ll keep u in prayer. God bless! 🙂
 
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Isaiah 43:7
…everyone who is called by My name, whom I created for My glory…

We are made for good works to do unto others, for and to bring glory to God. You absolutely have a purpose! Don’t despair, don’t give up. He’s right there with you, every step of the way.

I will keep you in prayer.
 
I will pray for you that you may find your purpose in life. It is important to remember that God loves us so much that He humbled himself to become human, to be betrayed by one of his personally chosen followers, to be mocked, beaten, and finally crucified so that we could be united with Him in heaven forever. He humbled himself to be betrayed, beaten, and mocked so that in lowliness, humility, and suffering we may find greatness, and perfection. Jesus as he was dying on the cross also gave us his mother, Mary, to be our mother in heaven who wants nothing more than to help us in our times of need. The only reason God allows us to suffer is so that we may grow stronger through it, and find our purpose in life. God created us so that we could be with Him eternally in heaven, and He holds in existence by thinking of us constantly. I hope this reply was helpful, and I will be sure to keep you in my prayers.
 
Geez it has not been easy for you and you have tried very hard.

Ok 1 by 1 and it’s going to be very frank advice.
  1. you have lots of time to rehabilitate your body and improve it. Swimming 3km a day would do a lot of good for instance. Your body was never going to handle the professional dance career you wanted. This does not mean that you could not dance beautifully. I am sure that you were in the top 2% of people in the world with your dancing.
  2. when you meet your spouse in the future, if this is your vocation, ( learn how to choose properly) try ensure that he really loves God deeply not just believes in Him, and that he loves you. You must absolutely ensure that, especially you and him never ever have sex before marriage and that means both of you must also be able to control masturbation. Together and with God, you will get past and you will heal of everyone of your molestation episodes. You will experience a great love for each other if you manage this and you will be happy in the future. Your purpose will be to be a wife and mother, God willing and to enjoy a few pastimes and help people when you can and go to a job that you enjoy whatever it is, You need to get a good catholic therapist straight away and find a very wise priest for counselling also.
  3. there is no finding of oneself, there is only creating of oneself. I am sorry to inform you that you need to try a whole lot of different things, learning and struggles to find things you have not tried but that you will be surprised to learn that fit with you and you enjoy. The end is in the journey, not in the ending of the journey. Put another way, go grab life by the balls and hold on tight and be brave.
  4. try and think about your dignity and it’s rehabilitation, help yourself attain a dignity for yourself, people are selfish and in some places they are less so. Just create a you that you will be happy with and realise that its a project that will take a several years.
  5. remember your body and brain is still developing and you are in no way or form adult yet, enjoy your youth. Females take until about 23 to have their brains well developed. Nourish it well with a healthy diet steer away from poisons. Do lots of learning from difficult books that challenge you to a sweat but won’t be too hard.
  6. don’t self pity because it’s a time thief and a life thief. Let go of all the things and people you cannot control and that are not good for you. Don’t dream of what they should be like or expect them to be, they won’t be. This is your life it’s yours to create they way you want and you need to take that ability and nurture it till it grows because nobody is going to give it to you and if you get help on the way accept it with thanks and carry on growing.
  7. the only constant is change. If you want to thrive ensure that you are always changing by developing and growing. You are a blooming rose not a willing flower. You might have a few sunburnt leaves but they do not detract from your potential.
  8. never forget you have a lot more blessings then many people that don’t have even 90% of what you do.
  9. you have the biggest advantage , you are a catholic with a Father in heaven and you can sit before the Eucharist for a few hours every week and go to mass, don’t worry yourself to much about what you are doing in front of the Eucharist, but do so out of love, what matters is that you are there with Jesus, read a book, write study, pray in words, stay silent, pick your nose if you must but do so out of love.
 
Everyone has a purpose and may even be fulfilling a purpose by living their lives without being aware of their purpose.
Have you ever heard of the Dominican, Blessed Margaret of Castello? You might benefit by reading her story 3op.org/stmargaret.php
 
Pope St. John Paul II, who witnessed the atrocities of the Nazis and the Communists, found suffering to be such an important and difficult theme in the Christian life that he wrote an apostolic letter about it, “Salvific doloris” (On the Christian meaning of human suffering). In the final years of his life, he lived what he taught.

This is the introduction:
*Declaring the power of salvific suffering, the Apostle Paul says: “In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the Church”(1).

These words seem to be found at the end of the long road that winds through the suffering which forms part of the history of man and which is illuminated by the Word of God. These words have as it were the value of a final discovery, which is accompanied by joy. For this reason Saint Paul writes: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake”(2). The joy comes from the discovery of the meaning of suffering, and this discovery, even if it is most personally shared in by Paul of Tarsus who wrote these words, is at the same time valid for others. The Apostle shares his own discovery and rejoices in it because of all those whom it can help—just as it helped him—to understand the salvific meaning of suffering. *

He also wrote an encyclical “Evangelium Vitae”, (on the Value and Inviolability
of Human Life)

Man is called to a fullness of life which far exceeds the dimensions of his earthly existence, because it consists in sharing the very life of God. The loftiness of this supernatural vocation reveals the greatness and the inestimable value of human life even in its temporal phase. Life in time, in fact, is the fundamental condition, the initial stage and an integral part of the entire unified process of human existence. It is a process which, unexpectedly and undeservedly, is enlightened by the promise and renewed by the gift of divine life, which will reach its full realization in eternity (cf. 1 Jn 3:1-2). At the same time,* it is precisely this supernatural calling which highlights the relative character of each individual’s earthly life**. After all, life on earth is not an “ultimate” but a “penultimate” reality; even so, it remains a sacred reality entrusted to us, to be preserved with a sense of responsibility and brought to perfection in love and in the gift of ourselves to God and to our brothers and sisters.
The Church knows that this Gospel of life, which she has received from her Lord, has a profound and persuasive echo in the heart of every person-believer and non-believer alike-because it marvellously fulfils all the heart’s expectations while infinitely surpassing them. Even in the midst of difficulties and uncertainties, every person sincerely open to truth and goodness can, by the light of reason and the hidden action of grace, come to recognize in the natural law written in the heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15) the sacred value of human life from its very beginning until its end, and can affirm the right of every human being to have this primary good respected to the highest degree. Upon the recognition of this right, every human community and the political community itself are founded.*

God made you because He loves you and wants you to choose to know Him, love Him, and in the divine love by which He poured out His very Self by taking the form of a slave, even to suffering and death, free of grasping at His rightful power as God, to serve Him, too, for all eternity. God made you to love not in a trivial way, but in a perfect, glorious, and everlasting way. There is no purpose higher than that, and all purposes worthy of the name serve that greatest of all purposes.
 
Personally, I’m not sure a person has a purpose.

I believe everyone has a gift, a talent, something that makes him or her special. We are each uniquely special. The “purpose” is when a person recognizes the gift and uses it to its fullest.

I believe we need to pray for the wisdom to recognize our special talents and gifts, and pray for the courage to use them to make the world around us a better place.
 
Discerning that purpose can be challenging. I pray about it all the time. The older I get the more I realize my soul is seeking authentic life experiences, longing to be free from the false illusions and bombardment of modern American media culture and the nonsense they try to impose upon us. I would rather search the world over in pursuit of discerning a purpose than settle for the godless, soulless world of consumerism. It’s just too shallow.
 
I went to college with a girl with a similar background to yours. She had been contemplating entering a professional ballet company when her health problems became so severe she simply could not keep up the intensity involved. I know that she missed it terribly. I also know that she managed to healthily redirect her artistic energy towards other types of art. She studied art appreciation, painting, etc. Could you find some kind of hobby in this regard that might help you refocus? It is most understandable to feel as though one is flailing after such a huge part of your life goals, identity, and enjoyment is suddenly ripped away. I suggest finding another avenue of artistic expression as a hobby and therapeutic outlet.

In regards to the various sexual assault, I recommend counseling. Not just a short term therapists, but developing a long term relationship to help you understand the impacts these have had on your outlook for friendships and relationships and help you adjust and react in a healthy manner.

Finally, with friendships, I hope it will comfort you to know that I am the same. I am a very withdrawn person, despite the fact that I ironically crave close friendships. I am married now, so I have my husband, but until this point I also struggled with friends. I managed to make a few friends here and there, but often find myself (even now as an adult and mother) feeling left out of things. I continually have to remind myself not to read into others interactions and to be proactive about maintaining contact, especially as many of my other friends are not yet married or have children. I struggle with feeling awkward in certain social situations, especially larger groups. I have found that what has worked for me over the years is the following:
  1. speak up. This can be so difficult for me, but I often find that people do not mean to overlook me and would actually enjoy spending time together, I just sometimes have to make an effort.
  2. don’t over think things. I often feel as though I must seem so awkward when trying to talk to new people, but chances are, I (and you) are not nearly as awkward as you think. Try to initiate social interactions in areas or discussing things you feel very confident about. It will help the flow of conversation.
  3. Seek people with similar interests. If you find yourself venturing to a local museum, see if there are any clubs related to it. It will help you come up with things to discuss.
God did not predestine the world, but He did mold you in His image so that you can grow in His likeness. THAT is your purpose. It is all of our purposes. No human is ever a mistake in the eyes of God.
 
on_the_hill said:
Personally, I’m not sure a person has a purpose.

I believe everyone has a gift, a talent, something that makes him or her special. We are each uniquely special. The “purpose” is when a person recognizes the gift and uses it to its fullest.

I believe we need to pray for the wisdom to recognize our special talents and gifts, and pray for the courage to use them to make the world around us a better place.
Click to expand...
Man is called to a fullness of life which far exceeds the dimensions of his earthly existence, because it consists in sharing the very life of God. The loftiness of this supernatural vocation reveals the greatness and the inestimable value of human life even in its temporal phase. Pope St. John Paul II

Every single human being has the supernatural calling of sharing in the very life of God, the calling to give and receive the love of God. No price can be put on the value of this purpose; it is inestimable.

This is something we absolutely must told and must be impressed upon us. If we go out into the world thinking, as they say, that we are “human doings” instead of “human beings,” then we go out with a mistaken impression of what our purpose of life is, and what the purpose is of those around us. We can lose a job and think we have no purpose. We can see someone who is sick or suffering and think they have no purpose. We can try to make some project work, fail, and think we have no purpose. That would be a great tragedy.
 
lovedance4ever;:
I severely injured my spine and had to quit dance altogether. As a result from inactivity, I gained weight.

I was also molested by a neighborhood boy when I was a child, and threatened physically numerous times in my teen years by other bullies. One group of so-called friends tried to lock me in a room with a sixty year old man (who had fondled me before) when I was fifteen. That was the last straw for me, and probably when I started experiencing severe depression.

.
Click to expand...
Dear Lovedance, I really feel for you. I was reading your most recent post from today. (3/1/15)
For physical activity, you can try swimming, it’s gentle, or some other low-impact exercise. Something is better than nothing.
As for today’s post, please keep up seeing those nice people your cousin introduced you to. Just have fun with them.
And, are you still in school, or do you work? For I think you need to develop something
you can call your own.
My 20’s were the hardest time of my life. It’s taken me a long time, plus medication,
plus many answered prayers, to bring me to a place of happiness in my life.
God wants to heal you .May you know how special you are, how valuable you are
to others, and may you experience real love in your life!
 
Code: 
JESUS DEIGNED TO teach me this mystery.  He set before me the book of nature; I understood how all the flowers He has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the Lily do not take away the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy.  I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers.  And so it is in the world of souls, Jesus' garden.  He willed to create great souls comparable to Lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God's glances when He looks down at His feet.  Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.
Click to expand...
St Terese of Liseax
 
lovedance4ever said:
So I ask…do you think everyone has a purpose? Could the actions of parents turn their child into a mistake? And also, please pray for me. I am really low right now. It feels like I need to reach up to touch bottom.
Click to expand...
Yes, everyone has a purpose.

Your parents may have provided the base physical material for your creation, but it was God who brought you into existence. You are no accident or mistake. God has a plan for you, which at it’s most basic level is that you know Him and love Him, and to know His love for you.

I will pray for you.
 
I am so sorry you’ve had a rough time and are feeling this way, but I believe the purpose of every person on this earth is to love and serve God so that we may live with Him in Eternity! (okay, I hijacked that from a favorite priest of mine, but I believe it!) People have different roles in addition to that - and some are less glamorous or less obvious than others. You are a human being that has as much value as any other. Please don’t let yourself think otherwise!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top