Does gay marriage harm heterosexuals and their families? How?

[GW]

Does gay marriage harm heterosexuals and their families? How? This question is asked quite a bit, but I don’t always see good answers to it. However, I saw a list of reasons at one marriage site that seems to get into concrete answers. The article:

How Does Gay Marriage Law Hurt Heterosexuals and their Families? tinyurl.com/qs7vfy

Thoughts?

 

[zaramarie81]

Does gay marriage harm heterosexuals and their families? How? This question is asked quite a bit, but I don’t always see good answers to it. However, I saw a list of reasons at one marriage site that seems to get into concrete answers. The article:

How Does Gay Marriage Law Hurt Heterosexuals and their Families? tinyurl.com/qs7vfy

Thoughts?

Interesting. I hate to say it, but I don’t find most of these points particularly compelling.

Let me explain what I mean. I think creating something called same-sex ‘marriage’ in our legal system is harmful on many levels.

But the thing about all these points are… they are already mostly true for traditional marriage in the US. You see, marriage has already been redefined in our nation for decades from what we believe it to be, thanks to no-fault divorce. With no-fault divorce, one spouse can leave for any reason, at any time, with little accountability. And while there may be some child support payments thrown in there somewhere, the traditional marital union is just as fragile as most of the points in this article state.

I honestly believe we need to focus on restoring marriage on a broader scale… yes we need to deal with the same-sex marriage issue, but it needs to be put in context of the degradation of marriage and family that has been occurring for a long time now thanks to a lot of selfish heterosexuals.

I mean think about it - How can someone who is a same-sex marriage advocate take a traditional marriage advocate seriously when we talk about the “stability” of traditional marriage? As a child of divorce I have to laugh at this idea that traditional marriage, as it is currently on the legal books, is somehow considered “stable” or “about the children.”

**It’s not. **

My dad didn’t want to be married anymore to my mom, so he filed for divorce, and my sibs and I got to deal with the fallout with the both state and Church looking the other way (or patting us on the backs and telling us that “children are resilient” and we’ll “adjust”).

Adding fuel to the complexity of this issue… where do babies come from? In the past we could say that children could only be born when a man and woman unite. But now we have all these fancy-schmancy fertility treatments. We can buy a man’s sperm or a woman’s eggs or use a relative’s uterus as a surrogate. And most Americans are pretty comfortable with this set-up. They haven’t read JPII Theology of the Body. And hey, if you’re “pro-life,” shouldn’t you be rejoicing in life no matter where it’s created?

I don’t say this to be a smarty-pants… these are just the kind of complexities we’re facing in this brave new world. I think this list could have worked 50 years ago. Not now.

Sorry, hope I don’t paint too dire of a picture. I do think there’s hope, but I think the message needs to a bit deeper and deal with some root issues because we’ve slid down the slope pretty far at this point.

 

[lopezby]

That’s a pretty good synopsis of the big ticket problems with trying to fabricate “gay marriage”.

The gm proponents bring to mind one of Bishop Sheen’s talks on communists’ tactics, which I think is in play. He said the communists, early on, would propose: “let us coexist…in peace”… with no genuine intention of establishing a long-term, peaceful, coexistence…and shortly before conquering the poor lulled victims.

The list includes helpful points/facts to inform folks on what they might want to consider before consenting to ‘co-exist’.

NOM also offers a “Why Marriage Matters” resource you might be interested in: nationformarriage.org/atf/cf/%7B39D8B5C1-F9FE-48C0-ABE6-1029BA77854C%7D/CatholicEnglish.pdf

 

[TAllan]

I believe that it does harm traditional marriage and all that it stands for. It makes a mockery of marriage, and the purposes of such a union.

 

[cheese_sdc]

Does gay marriage harm heterosexuals and their families?

It doesn’t.

 

[GW]

Good thoughts, zaramarie and others. You ought to take a stab at refuting some of the pro-SSM advocates in the comments section of that marriagenewsnow.com site.

Seems like the debate is stirring up some strong pro gay marriage folks. Would be nice to see more Catholics making the case for big marriage law reforms as you discussed.

I enjoyed that list of reasons because it was pretty concrete: namely, it pins the financial ruin of America’s women and kids to bad marriage law and notes that gay marriage revisions will only make that worse. I suspect that’s as compelling as the debate can get. Everything else I read on this question seems rooted in theory or differing philosophical views, instead of the real personal financial injury that women and kids receive via the state marriage law.

 

[GW]

Zaramarie? Any more thoughts on this? Would repealing no-fault divorce ultimately be the silver bullet for the pro marriage side? Seems like it would be a fix-all solution.

 

[Miserissima]

I wholeheartedly agree with zaramarie81.

It doesn’t.

I have been mulling over this since you posted it, GW, and I have to agree with cheese, too. Although last week there was some Sunday discussion that Same Sex Civil Unions (not ‘marriage’) would make for tougher immigration enforcement in an already difficult immigration system, a whole argument can’t be built on that tack.

I feel like I’m grasping at straws, but I just can’t find anything apart from the philosophical and moral reasons, here.

 

[Miserissima]

I continued this in another vein over here:
With a “conscience-protection amendment,” how are Catholic negatively affected by (SSCUs)?
%between%

 

[OraProNobisIHM]

Does gay marriage harm heterosexuals and their families? How? This question is asked quite a bit, but I don’t always see good answers to it. However, I saw a list of reasons at one marriage site that seems to get into concrete answers. The article:

How Does Gay Marriage Law Hurt Heterosexuals and their Families? tinyurl.com/qs7vfy

Thoughts?

It’s sinful, so it harms the world, and it harms God.

That should be enough.

 

[Cat]

It’s sinful, so it harms the world, and it harms God.

That should be enough.

I agree. This is the answer.

And obviously since so many do not believe in God, Jesus Christ, or the Christian Gospel or Church, this argument won’t make an impression on them. All we can do is voice it, even in the midst of unpleasant objections, and ask the Holy Spirit to convict others of the truth.

 

[MarieVeronica]

It’s sinful, so it harms the world, and it harms God.

That should be enough.

I must agree with this, as well. Same sex “unions” are disordered and therefore, sinful.

"The man gaves names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man.

So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, He took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The Lord God then built up into a woman the rib that He had taken from the man." (Gen. 2:20-22)…

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother, and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” (Gen. 2:24)

Human beings can not “redefine” what God has ordered. :nope:

 

[j1akey]

I can understand why gay marriage is offensive for people but I still don’t understand how it’s harmful in anyway. Saying that it’s against god doesn’t make it harmful to you or anyone else even if you don’t like it.

“Civil Unions” remind me of another policy we had in this country not so long ago…Seperate but Equal. That didn’t work out so well. Now the circumstances might be different but the mindset is the same which is to say we don’t want “those people” mixing with us and having what we have and it’s just rediculous. In no way, shape, or form is the marriage of gay people harmful to anyone other than that it goes against your religion and that’s not a good enough reason to prevent same sex couples from getting married.

 

[organdy]

The marriage and divorce laws as they exist for straight couples bear no resemblance to Catholic doctrine, so I don’t see how it would be worse to extend those same benefits to same sex couples. It’s also true that the Catholic laws regarding marriage aren’t affected by the civil laws in this country… so I don’t see the connection in that direction either. If the institution of marriage in America can withstand thirty years of drive-thru weddings and quickie annulments between drunk strangers in Vegas - I think that it’s a stronger concept than we’re giving it credit for.

 

[buffalo]

Zaramarie? Any more thoughts on this? Would repealing no-fault divorce ultimately be the silver bullet for the pro marriage side? Seems like it would be a fix-all solution.

Yes we should try to repeal no-fault divorce. It has led to the decline of the family.

 

[jjtc]

I can understand why gay marriage is offensive for people but I still don’t understand how it’s harmful in anyway. Saying that it’s against god doesn’t make it harmful to you or anyone else even if you don’t like it.

“Civil Unions” remind me of another policy we had in this country not so long ago…Seperate but Equal. That didn’t work out so well. Now the circumstances might be different but the mindset is the same which is to say we don’t want “those people” mixing with us and having what we have and it’s just rediculous. In no way, shape, or form is the marriage of gay people harmful to anyone other than that it goes against your religion and that’s not a good enough reason to prevent same sex couples from getting married.

As Catholics we believe that sin is not just personal, rather affects us all. This article begins to explain some of this idea.

catholicity.com/commentary/landry/00631.html

 

[baylee]

I can understand why gay marriage is offensive for people but I still don’t understand how it’s harmful in anyway. Saying that it’s against god doesn’t make it harmful to you or anyone else even if you don’t like it.

“Civil Unions” remind me of another policy we had in this country not so long ago…Seperate but Equal. That didn’t work out so well. Now the circumstances might be different but the mindset is the same which is to say we don’t want “those people” mixing with us and having what we have and it’s just rediculous. In no way, shape, or form is the marriage of gay people harmful to anyone other than that it goes against your religion and that’s not a good enough reason to prevent same sex couples from getting married.

I agree. This is not a theocracy. If it was, divorce, adultery and artificial contraception (just to name a few) would/should be illegal as well.

 

[Drawmack]

To those blaming the state of things on no-fault divorce, I think you’ve got things a little backwards.

Civil law does not govern society; society governs civil law. No-fault divorce was introduced because our society’s moral decay had progressed to the point where married people, usually men, would up and leave their spouse, usually the woman, with children to raise and no legal recourse for child support, alimony, or fair division of assets. Thus, no-fault divorce was instituted so that people would have legal recourse when this happened. No-fault divorce is not the problem, it is the result of the problem. The problem is a moral decay of society and you cannot legislate morality, just ask the Pharisees.