Does God allow at time of aloneness/desolation?

[george92]

Does He? I mean i can’t complain about how my life is going but currently it feels like all my friends are drifting apart and worse off, i have crazy sexual desires which i can’t get rid of and there are no potential spouses where i live. It really feels like i’m in a desert in my life and i don’t see it ending anytime soon. I’m involved heavily in extra-curricular stuff in college and get good grades though. i work out 2 hours a day but that doesn’t do the trick for me. it try to stay away from porn as best as i can but sometimes i fall.

it honestly feels like God doesn’t care about my desires for a beautiful wife but instead gives me back loneliness. I just don’t get it. It kinda of an anti-Catholic message if u ask me

I just want to have a wife, a job, and kids so i can finally live my life and not feel so desolated and alone most of the time. Its hard. i know that sounds crazy to some of you but it sounds like peace to me.

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi george92,

I am sorry that you are feeling so alone and desolate.

I really believe that God wants us to be as happy as we can be in this life.

When we are faced with temptations, we have to try and distract ourselves from them–take our minds off of them by doing something else. A temptation is not a sin, unless we give in to it.

If you feel that you are overwhelmed by what is happening regarding your spiritual life and its difficulties for you regarding the sexual desires and the porn, then I would recommend talking to your pastor.

I understand your desire for finding wife and having a family. Are you able to go to any of the social events on your college campus where you can just get out and meet others?

There is a website called MeetUp. People decide to start up different meet up groups for various interests that they have where they do all kinds of different social activities together. There might be a group that interests you that meets in your area.

For example, you might find a book club, or a group that likes to go out to eat together, or one that likes to go to baseball games together, etc.

 

[EasterJoy]

The plain meaning of Scriptures would indicate that real life often poses a test to the faithful. Not necessarily that God actively testing you, but of God allowing you to be put to the test. Think about Job, read the Psalms, consider what David went through, how Jacob had to work so long to win a wife…the list really does go on and on. The Dark Night of the Soul, written by St. John of the Cross, is a spiritual classic, was put to paper during the saint’s imprisonment.

The message of the Cross is not that God makes his faithful suffer, but that God can transform the suffering of his faithful ones by the action of grace, by which the faithful triumph, defeating even death. Hang in there, and go to the Lord often for encouragement.

 

[LongingSoul]

Does He? I mean i can’t complain about how my life is going but currently it feels like all my friends are drifting apart and worse off, i have crazy sexual desires which i can’t get rid of and there are no potential spouses where i live. It really feels like i’m in a desert in my life and i don’t see it ending anytime soon. I’m involved heavily in extra-curricular stuff in college and get good grades though. i work out 2 hours a day but that doesn’t do the trick for me. it try to stay away from porn as best as i can but sometimes i fall.

it honestly feels like God doesn’t care about my desires for a beautiful wife but instead gives me back loneliness. I just don’t get it. It kinda of an anti-Catholic message if u ask me

I just want to have a wife, a job, and kids so i can finally live my life and not feel so desolated and alone most of the time. Its hard. i know that sounds crazy to some of you but it sounds like peace to me.

There’s a couple of times in my life that I’ve experienced those terrible periods of desolation and like you, the first thing I did was turn to God with the question ‘why are you doing this to me?’ However, in retrospect, it is in these times that my relationship with God has matured and deepened to the point where now, when something of that nature happens… I never ask that question. My first words to Him now are ‘Lord help me through this pain. Light my way and deepen my faith. Make my soul pure by it so that I can faithfully do Your will here in my life and be with You forever in heaven.’

We have to see God as our loving Father and realise that the world is the devils playground so to speak. We call on our Father to help us through. To navigate the temptations and obstacles put in our way by our Fathers enemy to win us to the dark side.

Ignatian spirituality treats of desolation quite differently to the way the world does. What you are experiencing as ‘desolation’ can very easily be a ‘consulation’ by a shift in your attitude towards God during this time. Let Him be with you in this desert experience rather than feeling that He is against you.

With pornography… you have to do something about that. Many young lads don’t realise the destructive impact that viewing these images has on their masculinity and godliness. Do whatever it takes to get it out of your life with Gods help. It comes from an industry invested in the abuse and exploitation of women and womanhood and will erode any relationship you have with a woman if you don’t abandon that addiction.

God bless and keep you.