Does God have a special person for each of us?

[sharing11]

I have been struggling with getting over a breakup with a man that I was in love with. He said that our relationship was great but that he just didn’t want to hold on to me because he had not developed feelings of love after a year of dating. I long more than anything to fall in love again and be a wife and a mother. Now at age 30, I trust that God has someone for me. Can this be true?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Now at age 30, I trust that God has someone for me. Can this be true?

Maybe, and for your sake, I hope so. But, speaking as someone who is currently on the threshold of 40 with no special someone offering me a chance at marriage and motherhood, I would be less than honest if I didn’t caution you against allowing your hopes to become unreasonably high. Certainly, I encourage you to hope, to pray, and to be open to meeting someone new – a mature man who will treasure you for who you are, and will not dump you merely because he doesn’t get a pleasant buzz of romantic feeling after raising your hopes for marriage for more than a year. You deserve someone better than the one you had, and I truly hope you find him.

But, no, God doesn’t necessarily “have a special person for each of us.” Many people are called to marriage. But some men are called to the priesthood, some people (men and women) are called to the religious life, and a few may be called to the single life. While we may hope for one vocation, we should be open to any of them.

I don’t have any easy answers about how to deal with the disappointment of not having your dreams realized, but I can say that God’s plan for you will be infinitely more rewarding than anything you could have hoped for or anticipated. In my own life, I’ve come to realize that singleness can be its own blessing. It allows opportunities for service to others that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. It allows time and resources for activities that might otherwise have to be deferred or set aside (e.g., discerning a vocation to a third order, weekend retreats, advanced adult religious education, etc.). It can even prepare you for another vocation at a later time. (St. Jane de Chantal longed to be a sister for many years but was thwarted by her family responsibilities. Eventually her family experiences heavily influenced her life as a religious sister and the order she founded with St. Francis de Sales.)

Bottom line, what I can assure you of is this: If you are faithful to God in the present moment, you can trust him to be faithful to you in the long run.