Romans 11:33, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!” Emphasis mine.
You must trust and love God, and you must be careful because when you pick God’s ways apart, unless you do it as, or with, a good theologian, Satan could pick up on doubts and try to fool you.
Remember what is says in 1 Peter 5:6-11: 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 8 Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. 10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.
I feel strongly about your concerns because, if you’re young, they seem to be concerns of a young person trying to question either God’s goodness or God Himself, so they can fly the coop and do as they please, so to speak.
No offense, OK? Because no offense is meant.
God bless you,