Does God like my personality?

  • Thread starter Thread starter JosephDColeman
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

JosephDColeman

Guest
I know it seems like a weird question, but I have realised lately that I see my personality as unholy and when I think of saints I picture people that are a certain personality type: calm, patient, slow to anger, not argumentative…etc. my personality is different. I can be argumentative, I often don’t see the value in chasing a career, I dwell on small insults, I’m sarcastic, I act flippantly in serious situations etc…I feel like for me to go to heaven I will have to be a totally different person. Then I see saints that are argumentative (like St. Nicholas punching Arius) or grumpy (like Padre pio) and I think, are they saints in spite of this, or does God like that about them?

I guess I’m conflating personally traits and morality…a saint should be a certain way. I’ve even tried to limit what I laugh at because I think saints wouldn’t laugh at such things.

Am I thinking wrong about this? A friend of mine told me to stop worrying about if my thoughts are wrong and let God punish me if I am not sure on the morality of my thoughts. He also said God is smarter than any human that ever lived and understands my sense of humor. This is true but I feel like God is mad at me for being sarcastic and when I try to stop thinking like me I realize I can’t. So on one hand I’m telling God “I trust you’ll change me” but on the other I’m feeling like if my thoughts are sinfully motivated by default I’m cutting off his grace and he won’t change me because I’m not his child.
 
I feel similar to you in a lot of ways. I can be sarcastic too but I’ve tried to limit my outward expression of sarcasm. I may still get the sarcastic thoughts but they don’t come out of my mouth as much as they used to. We may not have much control over what comes into our minds, but we do have control over what we express. I would keep praying for the grace to control what you speak and keep fighting the urge through your will to speak everything that you think. I think you and God can make progress with that in time.

I often wonder too about personality. I am very shy and because of a physical disability, I am stuck at home all the time. This disability has limited my ability to challenge myself socially. So when I want to go out to get the mail, for instance, I often look out my window to see if the neighbors are out first. If they are I’ll wait till they go in to get the mail so I don’t have to make conversation and I think: “Would a saint act like that?” NO. But of course, I’m not a saint yet.

I often wonder why did God allow me to become disabled since before that I was working on my social anxiety and starting to get involved at church. But because I developed neuropathy and back problems, I can’t sit or stand very long so I’m always lying flat at home. On the other hand, I pray more and offer up my sufferings since I’ve been disabled. So I’ve thought, maybe that’s more important to God than my personality flaws. I find myself thinking a lot about the whole personality thing too. I don’t know the answer to your question. My guess is that personality is secondary to sin itself. Maybe other people will have some insights.

In regards to your argumentativeness, I read that St. Jerome was that way too. He used to get into pretty heated debates with St. Augustine. So there’s hope for you too. I too deal with dwelling on small insults. I think that is pride within us. I don’t know how to deal with that either except to pray for the grace to let it go. The only other thing I do when I feel hurt by what someone said is to pray for them. I feel like, if I can’t change my reaction to what they said, at least I can bring some good into the world by praying for them.

I don’t know if I was any help to you. Just some thoughts. God Bless!
 
I saw a person who reportedly died and met Jesus. One thing he mentioned is that Jesus not only loves us but also likes us a lot. He made us and “likes what he makes”… I personally found that encouraging. I can link it if you like.
 
People seem to have a very basic, core personality but then it is also embraided with traits that we develop through the models around us or through repeated actions that become habits and character.

Core personality isn’t really good or evil and it can be used for either purpose. A person who naturally flares up more easily enjoys the benefit of being quick to recognize and call out and oppose evil, but also suffers because it is easy to use this imprudently or cruelly. Sometimes they might wish and pray that they were more serene, but the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. People with the opposite disposition can more easily become carpets, neglectful, and complicit with evil. So they also have to struggle with their tendencies. A person that falls somewhere within the average isn’t particularly vulnerable in either area, but they aren’t strong in either area as well.

So whatever core personality a person has, they have to struggle to fine tune it in a way that loves God and their neighbor and themselves.

The saints are definitely extremely diverse in personalities and backgrounds but they are united through love.
 
Last edited:
Found the link if your interested. For context he reports dying and as a non believer he was being dragged into hell. He called out to Jesus to save him. This is where the video starts. I believe
he answers tour question at 6 minutes
 
I hear this, I relate. Yes, I also agree tworh the other person that shared “we r in a path”. Imho, a string moral effort is slowly producing fruit. *(daily rosaries, mass, vigilant note taking on examine conscience, contrite confession, study of word, listening to doctrinal catechism from arch bishop sheen) That said, in certain times, therapy has helped me with self respect self value self acceptance.

I value faith. I care about others. I have my own bouts of self dislike, and rejection suspicion disregard unseen unheard uncared for interactions from my family of origin …

Faith helps me play the hand i was dealt…it doesn’t change the cards
 
JosephDColeman said:
when I think of saints I picture people that are a certain personality type: calm, patient, slow to anger, not argumentative…
Click to expand...
There are something like 10,000 canonized saints. Do you really think they all had the same personality?

There were saints who were volatile and not calm or patient. St. Jerome had a bad temper. St. Paul was pretty argumentative. St. John of God would barge into strangers’ homes and demand they give the food they were cooking to the poor. St. Nicholas punched a heretic at a council. Some saints had personalities that were so difficult that no monastery would take them.

That’s not to say that one shouldn’t work on he faults in one’s personality, like being quick to anger, but the Lord wants irascible and volatile saints too. He doesn’t just call calm patient people.
 
Thank you all for your responses. Sometimes I just need to get other people’s perspectives to get out of my own head.
 
I second the gratitude I hear here. I think we just need honest integrity in each other. And yes to respect and boundaries too.

It helps me a lot just seeing one brave soul bring up a topic…and other should respond. I feel fortunate we have a freedom to at least to respectfully express our efforts.

Not all countries or places allow expressions of effort.
 
You probably shouldn’t over-analyze everything you do, but I would say getting attached to the “you” you are now is something you should try to avoid.
 
theorangeandblue said:
St. Nicholas punched a man since we sin. David a man after God’s own heart committed adultery, the Apostle Paul once hated Christians, Moses killed a man in rage, Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. These men who God used all had flaws and sinned. Why would you cut off God’s grace?
Click to expand...
I find , that imho, my sin cuts me off from peace. Idk what these aforementioned vessels of Gods will went thru? To my own carefully vigilant tendency for naivete, ,It may sound relieving, or “kumbaya” ish, or blind rose colored googles…to think that just because the bible said so, makes it go the same for me in my life? Sure, “take it on faith”, I hear people tell me…

I’m not advocating being either so “faith taken” or “open minded” that one loses their mind…or overly scrutinizes. I can only speak from the pain of my losses and sufferings I heaped on my own heart and soul, for sake of my own lack of discretion.

That pain, has in such way, been educating. I have paid greater pain in unfulfilled living, by failing to consider the consequences of sin. As for moses, dave, paul, peter…I dont know the privately endured pains they went through? I , imho, have not been spared my dark nights of soul, even if “living in God’s will” , it hasn’t removed my free choice, nor justice…

Faustina’s mercy and vision of purgatory resonates w me
 
JosephDColeman said:
I can be argumentative, I often don’t see the value in chasing a career, I dwell on small insults, I’m sarcastic, I act flippantly in serious situations etc…
Click to expand...
You have all the signs of a wounded spirit: sarcasm, bitterness, unforgiveness, negatvity, and apathy. Start digging through your past, confess everything, and get healed.
 
As a pursuer of Grace, and increasingly grateful penitent, my current learnings have me called to carefully use language in a suggestive manner
 
theorangeandblue said:
Why would you cut off God’s grace?
Click to expand...
I guess because I think I’m turning away from him by being so pessimistic or bitter in thought sometimes. When I feel good I see him as all loving and merciful. When I am in a bad mood I feel like he’s counting my sins or going to cut me off because my sinful thoughts are too bad. I try and try but sometimes I’m just bitter.

I’m still a new Catholic and still have trouble with the fact that we can do a horrible act and he cuts us off. I believe it’s true, it just affects how I view his Mercy sometimes.
 
Yeah his story has had a huge impact on my faith. Glad you liked it. Sorry I didn’t realize it had that many subtitles though, the version I watched didn’t have them…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top