Does God predestine those who are in the single vocation?

[WildCatholic]

This is something I struggle with. While there are quite a few people who are single by choice and do not wish to marry, I wonder about those who thought they would get married but it never happened for them. Did God intend it to be this way for some people. To me it seems rather sad, especially when I see people who thought they’d be married and are in their 40’s and beyond but never got married and wanted to so bad. I know God has his plans, but to me it seems kind of cruel.

 

[Petaro]

I don’t see being single as a vocation. Rather life is what happens when you are planning something else. It may be a vocation to remain chaste but being single whilst looking for a partner is often just being wise. I was married when I was forty, a man whose career was everything to him. . I did not see my forty years as single being a vocation, nor, having been given free will by a loving God did I see any predestination in my marital status. Indeed, I only saw the love of God in His blessing of our marriage in the Sacrament.
I see many women who have not married, but I see many more divorced and bitter from poor choices. We will always be alone whilst we are away from our Father, but he has given us the solace of companionship and sexual satisfaction in the natural love of the alternative sex. I make no comment on the solace some find in same gender relationships, but commend us all to a loving God. They say that marriage lasts only to death, but I will chase my bride again in the next life until we are one again in Christ. ( I think she may want the rest away from caring about me. We shall see.)
I wish you well in your personal search if you have not found the love of your life, but I doubt God is predestining anything. Pray to Him and His Blessed Mother that all may find completion in someone in this life and together in Him in the next.

 

[TiggerS]

There is a big difference to being in the lay state for some other reason other than one’s own choice - compared to quite consciously and deliberately choosing the lay state, and then embracing it and under the terms of Apostolate of The Laity :vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_decree_19651118_apostolicam-actuositatem_en.html

…and as one’s call and vocation in life. One is attracted to the lay state, has the ability to live in the lay state with right motivation and ideally, one has had sound spiritual direction on the matter of vocation before committing oneself to the laity as one’s vocation in life outside of the vocation of marriage - or in the celibate lay state (single life). There are also numerous lifestyles approved by The Church for lay people, married and single - although these are an option, not a necessity.

Predestination is a very big subject: newadvent.org/cathen/12378a.htm

“He who would place the reason of predestination either in man alone or in God alone would inevitably be led into heretical conclusions about eternal election”

 

[TiggerS]

This is something I struggle with. While there are quite a few people who are single by choice and do not wish to marry, I wonder about those who thought they would get married but it never happened for them. Did God intend it to be this way for some people. To me it seems rather sad, especially when I see people who thought they’d be married and are in their 40’s and beyond but never got married and wanted to so bad. I know God has his plans, but to me it seems kind of cruel.

WildCatholic, re what follows in my post, you might think me unkind re situations in which people are suffering in some way (and I have a few of my own and know people in dreadful life situations), but what I am about to state are our Catholic beliefs. We need to live out many of our beliefs in the ordinary and everyday circumstances of life always. Not just hold intellectual beliefs alone, all of which just might ‘go nowhere’ (as it were) but float around somewhere in our heads with no relevance to living life, our pilgrimage, here on earth. The Gospel of Jesus is for intellectual assent - absolutely! The Gospel of Jesus is also and primarily the way to live out our lives in the ordinary day to day.

---

Nothing comes about outside of God’s Indicate or Permissive Will. Nothing. This is quite sound Catholic theology.
God’s reasons are rather often very mysterious to us. How good can come out of a particularly unpleasant (or worse) situation (see CCC) in which we may be involved or know of others who are involved in something of that ilk. It is a great mystery.

Probably the most real thing we can say about God is that God is Mystery.

Life can sometimes seem to be cruel and a mystery to us. But in Jesus Crucified, we see our Master and “no man can be greater than his master”. We are called to the cross as vocation (“take up your cross and follow Me”). As human beings we rather like to choose our own crosses and kick up a fuss of some kind if the cross comes along in life which is distasteful to a smaller or larger degree. In some ways, this is very human and a product of fallen human nature, of original sin.

We do not regularly in prayer (and at other times) make the Sign of The Cross for naught - nor have The Cross as our universal symbol right across ‘every Christian board’ as it were. United to Jesus in Grace, our sufferings on earth, minute or great, have great value. We might never see that value this side of Heaven. We merely believe that there is value, great value for the redemption of souls.

To consciously unite one’s suffering to those of Jesus has exceptional merit both here on earth and to the person consciously uniting their sufferings to Jesus Crucified.

Tigger