My husband’s first “marriage” was annulled twenty years ago and up until recently, he also suffered from scruples in the matter of whether he did the right thing or not in remarrying.
He’s very sensitive and wants to do only what’s pleasing to God but he still feels ashamed that he didn’t “keep” the promise he made. His “ex” was the one who left him, filed for divorce and started the annullment proceedings. I read his paperwork after we were married and I know that he would still be married to her today if she hadn’t been so intent on leaving him (after only three months of marriage!) Every time the Scripture was read at Mass about Jesus condemning divorce, he would get upset. Finally he had a good long talk with a good priest, who explained to him just what an annullment is–the marriage was never valid in the eyes of the Church. In fact, the priest explained, an invalid marriage is an affront to God, whether it’s because a Catholic married in an invalid ceremony or they lacked “due discretion” at the time of the wedding.
Of course, all this was explained at the time, but when you’re going through an emotionally trying time, you don’t really “get” it. It’s something that affected his whole family and my husband felt he had “failed” and let them down.
Needless to say, I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t free to marry in the Church, and his attitude (while trying at times) also assured me that he did take the vocation of marriage very seriously and was in it for the long haul. Eighteen years later, we’re both thankful to God!