Does God see our good deeds when our wife doesn't?

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I’m really hurt. My wife just didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation I told her about on the phone tonight. I drove a very, very old woman home tonight. I used to know her daughters. She was clearly struggling with a HUGE bag, another smaller bag, and a GIGANTIC carriage she was dragging. It was dark out and the roads were full of snow. She was clearly exhausted and could not go any further. So I turned around and told her who I was and gave her a ride to her assisted living home. I picked her up ONE MILE AWAY FROM HER DESTINATION. I checked my odometer. And she walked even further before I found her where she was. It was a very serious situation. This woman has to be over 80. I am going to go to her daughter’s house tomorrow and tell her how dangerous the situation was.

So I call to tell my wife. And all she says was “well maybe she likes to go for long walks.” I had to say goodbye and I hung up. Clearly she didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. I know it must be wrong but I was hoping for some praise from my wife for this good deed I did. But I got nothing. I am angry and hurt. I hope at least God sees the good I did.
 
What a kind thing you did. You should be proud of yourself for acting like a good Samaritan.
Your action helps restore my faith in humanity.

Of course God sees our good works, in fact Jesus said don’t do them in public to be admired, like the Pharisees, for they already have their reward – the recognition. It’s better to keep our good deeds to ourselves so God can reward us.
Perhaps your wife didn’t understand the whole story. I’m sure if you explain it to her she will. But so many times older people struggle, and people go on about their business ignoring them. The same for pregnant women and women with small children – sometimes the burden can be too much.

I’m glad you’re going to let her daughter know. Maybe she can talk to the facility and they can keep a closer eye on her.
When my mother was in her 80s, she decided to walk to the bank across town one snowy icy day. She broke her hip. Nobody wants to acknowledge that they’re not the spry young person they once were, so the community has to step up. Congratulations to you for doing so.
 
Viki63 said:
What a kind thing you did. You should be proud of yourself for acting like a good Samaritan.
Your action helps restore my faith in humanity.

Of course God sees our good works, in fact Jesus said don’t do them in public to be admired, like the Pharisees, for they already have their reward – the recognition. It’s better to keep our good deeds to ourselves so God can reward us.
Perhaps your wife didn’t understand the whole story. I’m sure if you explain it to her she will. But so many times older people struggle, and people go on about their business ignoring them. The same for pregnant women and women with small children – sometimes the burden can be too much.

I’m glad you’re going to let her daughter know. Maybe she can talk to the facility and they can keep a closer eye on her.
When my mother was in her 80s, she decided to walk to the bank across town one snowy icy day. She broke her hip. Nobody wants to acknowledge that they’re not the spry young person they once were, so the community has to step up. Congratulations to you for doing so.
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👍
 
Yes it does hurt when we’re not appreciated, but it is seldom that other people do know the effort and emotion that we put into things.

Be reminded of what Jesus said in Matthew 25 verses 31-46…that He we judge our souls and our eternal future by our practical acts of kindness to others in their needs,
and that when we do this for others, we do it for Him.
Yes God does notice even if our spouse doesn’t.

Your wife may have been a little preoccupied and not really connected with what you said.
It wasn’t real to her yet because she wasn’t in the situation. Some people don’t connect so well with an event they didn’t share.

Maybe the Lord wanted to keep the gift to Himself.
In Matthew 6:3-4. Jesus said:
" when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

And that reward will only come in full in heaven.
In the meantime you have the reward of knowing you were heroically generous to a vulnerable old lady.

Please don’t be angry with your wife.
If she had fully understood the depth of your charity, the Lord mightn’t have been able to say through you to us:
If you do good, it’s the Lord who knows and who will reward you eternally. Other people rarely appreciate our kind deeds or know how much it required of you. Life usually manages to teach us that!

God bless you for your concern and generosity to this aged and vulnerable child of God.
 
If God judged me as harshly as my dear wife, I am in terrible trouble! Don’t let the left hand know what he right hand is doing. I am sure you will get more praise in heaven for not receiving it here God bless you for your little act of kindness.If we all did this our communities would be better places.
 
I think God sent you to do the work of an angel, to be an angel to this woman. Of course, He sees it and He appreciates you listening to His promptings. I think rather than calling it a good deed, it was His will and it was His will that she have someone to help her.

I could picture my mother in this lady’s place and I could even picture myself in her place. And I say God bless you.

Sometimes people have a wry sense of humor that causes them to make a silly remark at the wrong time, at least that is how it is in my family at times. I bet your wife thinks what you did was great, but made the mistake of being a bit flippant. Try to forgive her.

Every guy wants to be seen as a hero in his woman’s eyes. It is normal. Just tell her that when the time is right.
 
Good on you for helping an elderly citizen, we need to take better care of the vulnerable people in our societies. I know this situation seems terribly dangerous and I hate to think of anyone struggling on like that but in you wife’s defence maybe she just ment that it’s her choice. At the end of the day it doesent matter what the nursing home, her daughter’s or the community think, if this women still has her mental faculties and can comprehend the decision she is making then she has every right to take that risk. But I’m sure she was very grateful and appreciative of your help 🙂
 
AnotherMe said:
I’m really hurt. My wife just didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation I told her about on the phone tonight. I drove a very, very old woman home tonight. I used to know her daughters. She was clearly struggling with a HUGE bag, another smaller bag, and a GIGANTIC carriage she was dragging. It was dark out and the roads were full of snow. She was clearly exhausted and could not go any further. So I turned around and told her who I was and gave her a ride to her assisted living home. I picked her up ONE MILE AWAY FROM HER DESTINATION. I checked my odometer. And she walked even further before I found her where she was. It was a very serious situation. This woman has to be over 80. I am going to go to her daughter’s house tomorrow and tell her how dangerous the situation was.

So I call to tell my wife. And all she says was “well maybe she likes to go for long walks.” I had to say goodbye and I hung up. Clearly she didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. I know it must be wrong but I was hoping for some praise from my wife for this good deed I did. But I got nothing. I am angry and hurt. I hope at least God sees the good I did.
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Code: 
 Thats why if ever I do a good deed like you did.... I DON'T TELL Helen......
Because they Automatically think the worse…
Is she your Girlfriend,you don’t do things for me,your this or that…
sometimes it’s more trouble that it’s worth to tell…
but that doesn’t mean you should keep secrets from one another all the time…
but sometimes if you drive someone home,keep it to yourself…and if you get seen driving an 80 year old lady home. just say… well I know her,I drove her home and didn’t think it was important enough to tell…
 
Was your wife perhaps frustrated about something else? Were you coming home late as it was? Did you actually tell her that the woman was 80, it was snowing, and was a mile from her home? My husband also has a “good samaritan” tendency, and while I love that about him, sometimes I get upset if I need help at home and he is out helping other people.

Don’t get me wrong- it sounds like what you did really needed to be done, and it certainly is commendable. But presumably you didn’t do it to get your wife’s praise, you did it to help the woman and keep her safe. Don’t be mad at your wife- she wasn’t there, and she may also be upset about something entirely different.
 
Trishie said:
Yes it does hurt when we’re not appreciated, but it is seldom that other people do know the effort and emotion that we put into things.

Be reminded of what Jesus said in Matthew 25 verses 31-46…that He we judge our souls and our eternal future by our practical acts of kindness to others in their needs,
and that when we do this for others, we do it for Him.
Yes God does notice even if our spouse doesn’t.

Your wife may have been a little preoccupied and not really connected with what you said.
It wasn’t real to her yet because she wasn’t in the situation. Some people don’t connect so well with an event they didn’t share.

Maybe the Lord wanted to keep the gift to Himself.
In Matthew 6:3-4. Jesus said:
" when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

And that reward will only come in full in heaven.
In the meantime you have the reward of knowing you were heroically generous to a vulnerable old lady.

Please don’t be angry with your wife.
If she had fully understood the depth of your charity, the Lord mightn’t have been able to say through you to us:
If you do good, it’s the Lord who knows and who will reward you eternally. Other people rarely appreciate our kind deeds or know how much it required of you. Life usually manages to teach us that!

God bless you for your concern and generosity to this aged and vulnerable child of God.
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This says it perfectly. 🙂
 
AnotherMe said:
So I call to tell my wife. And all she says was “well maybe she likes to go for long walks.” I had to say goodbye and I hung up. Clearly she didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. I know it must be wrong but I was hoping for some praise from my wife for this good deed I did. But I got nothing. I am angry and hurt. I hope at least God sees the good I did.
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Just for clarification, was your wife angry that you drove the woman home, or did she just not give you the praise you wanted? Sounds like you called her specifically to tell her what a wonderful thing you did. And that sounds like your insecurity showing. You don’t need praise from someone else to know you did a good thing.
 
Do good whenever and wherever the opportunity presents itself.

Be content to do good for the sake of good only, and not for that which may come back to you (such as a reward, or praise, or acknowledgement, etc.).

Do good for the helpless and those in danger (as you did!) but also for those who may not seem as such, because they may be the ones most in need - behind the scenes - which we are unable to see.

Do your best to fill your life with good every moment of every day. That which is not good cannot survive when dragged out of the ugly shadows into the Beautiful and Bright Light of that which is All Good.

I think the [partial] quote is, “love thy neighbor…” You did so. 👍 Keep up the good work. 🙂
 
You did a nice thing…that’s wonderful. You told your wife about it…she didn’t react the way you wanted. Then you ask if God sees the good we do? Obviously He does. There could be a multitude of reasons your wife didn’t give you the answer you were looking for…mainly she can’t see into your mind and didn’t know what she was “supposed” to say! Maybe you called her at a bad time…she was right in the middle of something? Maybe you have a habit of needing a lot of accolades and she didn’t feel like it this time? Maybe you were supposed to be somewhere else and she was annoyed? Maybe she thought you should have called her from the road and told her what you were doing and that you’d be a bit late?

This is all conjecture…we have no way of knowing the details. But if you do good deeds expecting a pat on the back, you are doing them for the wrong reason. Humility is a tough virtue…we all struggle with it. Keep doing good things! The world will be better because you are in it!
 
Thank you all for your great answers. I appreciate them all. I will try to respond to them all later.

I went to spoke to a family member of this woman who has to be close to 90 years old! She is definitely over 85! He took it very lightly! I couldn’t believe it! He said they are always telling her she can’t do that… her daughter knows about it… he thanked me… I was really taken aback by how casual he took it. I guess he didn’t see her unable to carry everything 1 mile away from her home in the dead of night in the cold snow. Oh well…
 
It sounds like the lady is fiercely independent! The family can’t actually force her to tell them every time she decided to go for a walk and get supplies.
She probably doesn’t want to bother them. and figures that what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
I can understand both those things,
but the old lady’s timing wasn’t brilliant. She should have set out earlier.
To be truthful I’d possibly do the same thing, except I’d time my necessary excursions better and avoid night, however I’ll never have to face snow!
I hope I’ll always retain my determination to do what I can manage myself.

You seem surprised at people who react differently to you?
I know many men, and women, who respond calmly and reasonably, especially with a stranger, and yet within their minds are reacting and forming plans to deal with the issue.
I know that my sons would politely thank you, and then get on the phone to their other siblings and come around to plead the case.

However, I’d get away with some shopping excursions or whatever as well as accepting some of their help.
But I’d also retain my freedom, and do my own thing sometimes.

The son’s interaction with his wife and sisters was possibly more engaged.
I think you may be young and haven’t figured out some things about others yet?
I would personally imagine that a lot of family emotion and discussion would follow your visit. The fact that a stranger was concerned and intervene would have further resulted in family response.
 
**I didn’t even get a thank you from the woman’s daughter at church. How disappointing. **
 
AnotherMe said:
**I didn’t even get a thank you from the woman’s daughter at church. How disappointing. **
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Disappointing? Your desire to be thanked is really sounding rather needy. Please learn to do good things not to be thanked, or noticed, or validated. Do them only for the sake of helping someone. If you expect something in return, it ceases to be a kindness in my eyes. It ceases to be about the person you helped, and becomes all about you.
 
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