Does God see our good deeds when our wife doesn't?

[Maine52]

Disappointing? Your desire to be thanked is really sounding rather needy. Please learn to do good things not to be thanked, or noticed, or validated. Do them only for the sake of helping someone. If you expect something in return, it ceases to be a kindness in my eyes. It ceases to be about the person you helped, and becomes all about you.

 

[AnotherMe]

Disappointing? Your desire to be thanked is really sounding rather needy. Please learn to do good things not to be thanked, or noticed, or validated. Do them only for the sake of helping someone. If you expect something in return, it ceases to be a kindness in my eyes. It ceases to be about the person you helped, and becomes all about you.

I try to not it be about me. I would do it even if I knew I was not going to be thanked. But I still have feelings.

 

[Irishmom2]

I try to not it be about me. I would do it even if I knew I was not going to be thanked. But I still have feelings.

But it is 3 days later and you still are wishing for a thank you. You need to let it go. Perhaps you make a habit of this, and that is why your wife reacted as she did.

 

[grasscutter]

But it is 3 days later and you still are wishing for a thank you. You need to let it go. Perhaps you make a habit of this, and that is why your wife reacted as she did.

That’s how I’m reading it, too.

 

[AnotherMe]

But it is 3 days later and you still are wishing for a thank you. You need to let it go. Perhaps you make a habit of this, and that is why your wife reacted as she did.

Well I saw these people TONIGHT no 3 days ago, so yes, I thought a fast “thank you” would have been appropriate. And I would have been embarrassed to receive it. Call me confused, call me a dichotomy of motivation, but I am honest. And I think everyone else on this thread would feel the same way I do.

 

[Irishmom2]

I thought a fast “thank you” would have been appropriate… And I think everyone else on this thread would feel the same way I do.

Appropriate? People on this thread have told you what a wonderful person you are. But you want more. They have thanked you, but that is not enough. You want to be acknowledged by the woman’s family. Only they will do for you it seems. So as I stated earlier, this is about you. Otherwise, you would stop trolling for sympathy and get on with your life.

I do not believe you would be embarrassed to receive a thank you either

I am sorry, but I think I speak for at least a few people when I tell you that you are wrong. “Everyone else on this thread” does NOT feel the way you do. You are obsessed with getting a thank you from someone in that family. That is just not normal.

 

[AnotherMe]

Appropriate? People on this thread have told you what a wonderful person you are. But you want more. They have thanked you, but that is not enough. You want to be acknowledged by the woman’s family. Only they will do for you it seems. So as I stated earlier, this is about you. Otherwise, you would stop trolling for sympathy and get on with your life.

I do not believe you would be embarrassed to receive a thank you either

I am sorry, but I think I speak for at least a few people when I tell you that you are wrong. “Everyone else on this thread” does NOT feel the way you do. You are obsessed with getting a thank you from someone in that family. That is just not normal.

You sound very harsh and judgmental towards me and my motivations. Perhaps this thread should be brought to an end. I don’t appreciate being judged, especially when you don’t know my heart.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Appropriate? People on this thread have told you what a wonderful person you are. But you want more. They have thanked you, but that is not enough. You want to be acknowledged by the woman’s family. Only they will do for you it seems. So as I stated earlier, this is about you. Otherwise, you would stop trolling for sympathy and get on with your life.

I do not believe you would be embarrassed to receive a thank you either

I am sorry, but I think I speak for at least a few people when I tell you that you are wrong. “Everyone else on this thread” does NOT feel the way you do. You are obsessed with getting a thank you from someone in that family. That is just not normal.

Well, you don’t speak for me! Not at all.

 

[alphawoman]

There is value in a thankless good deed. God sees everything. He is the one worth pleasing. Take satisfaction in knowing that, no more and no less, and don’t go looking for appreciation. You’d be far better off using that energy to say a few Hail Marys, IMHO.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I think that the family may just not be the type to think about gratitude. I would be more forthcoming with thanks in their shoes, but that is me. I do think it is strange not to say thank you and more than once. But that was how I was raised and the example that was set by my parents.

The lack luster reaction of the family, though, is really an indication of their lack of concern for the safety of the woman. Either that, or they are too embarrassed over her insistance of going out by herself and don’t know how to handle the situation and their feelings. They could just be more private with their feelings and family relationships than some and they feel the need to retreat or act like everything is normal.

 

[seagal]

Some inspirational words from Mother Theresa

Mother Theresa’s Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

 

[Irishmom2]

Well, you don’t speak for me! Not at all.

And that is why I said a few people. I never said I spoke for everyone, so please don’t turn this into something it is not.

 

[Lorelei12]

Well I saw these people TONIGHT no 3 days ago, so yes, I thought a fast “thank you” would have been appropriate. And I would have been embarrassed to receive it. Call me confused, call me a dichotomy of motivation, but I am honest. And I think everyone else on this thread would feel the same way I do.

Nope, I wouldn’t feel the way you do either. I think you are fishing for compliments, which is not the reason to perform acts of service.

I’m not sure exactly what else you are looking for. You helped a lady get home safely, presumably she thanked you, then her son thanked you later on. And everyone on here told you what a fabulous thing you did. But you still aren’t happy because your wife didn’t react the way you wanted her to and because the woman’s daughter, days later, didn’t bring it up?

Yes, God sees our good deeds even when no one else recognizes them. But He also knows what is in our hearts.

 

[AnotherMe]

I am wrestling with my conscience because I realize what the Bible says about doing good deeds. I want to do things from the right motivation.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

They thanked you when you called. They may be trying to deal quietly with the issue of how to help mom and don’t want to either invite a bunch of people into the discussion or make it a public conversation. You’ve helped, you’ve said your piece on the phone, now let it go.

 

[Maine52]

I am wrestling with my conscience because I realize what the Bible says about doing good deeds. I want to do things from the right motivation.

So, would you have still done it if you had known you would not be thanked? What exactly are your motivations for doing good deeds?

Back to your original post, I do not think your wife did anything wrong. I’m not quite sure what you wanted her to do, but I think you set yourself up for disappointment by expecting her to react a certain way. You expected her to shower you with praise for something you did that had nothing to do with her. Did you honestly expect her to express gratitude to you for something you did for someone else?

It sounds like you did receive a thank you from at least one person who was directly involved in your good deed. What else exactly are you looking for?

I’m not trying to be judgmental. Really, I’m not. I’m just trying to figure out where you’re coming from here.

 

[AnotherMe]

so, would you have still done it if you had known you would not be thanked? What exactly are your motivations for doing good deeds?

Back to your original post, i do not think your wife did anything wrong. I’m not quite sure what you wanted her to do, but i think you set yourself up for disappointment by expecting her to react a certain way. You expected her to shower you with praise for something you did that had nothing to do with her. Did you honestly expect her to express gratitude to you for something you did for someone else?

It sounds like you did receive a thank you from at least one person who was directly involved in your good deed. What else exactly are you looking for?

I’m not trying to be judgmental. Really, i’m not. I’m just trying to figure out where you’re coming from here.

i would have done it again in a heart beat if i knew i wasn’t going to be thanked or praised. In fact, i would have done it again if i knew i would be criticized!

 

[Irishmom2]

i would have done it again in a heart beat if i knew i wasn’t going to be thanked or praised. In fact, i would have done it again if i knew i would be criticized!

Then why the bold type? What are you so angry about?

If, as you say, you would do it all again for no thanks or praise ( your interesting choice of word, btw) then why are you going on about it at all?

Do you still not understand it is better to just do your good deeds without expecting anything? You say that you do, but then you just keep pursuing and justifying your actions like you are hoping that someone will come along and tell you what you want so desperately to hear.

 

[pianistclare]

i would have done it again in a heart beat if i knew i wasn’t going to be thanked or praised. In fact, i would have done it again if i knew i would be criticized!

I think you miss the point dear friend…
no one is criticizing your good deed.
Your desire for praise is what some have found troubling.
It’s ok to feel great about being recognized…but your posts suggest that you don’t think you were praised enough.
A real hero doesn’t bark.
God knows what you did and your reasons.
That’s all you really need.
Even if the family had snubbed you. …You were compassionate to a child of God.
'nuff said.
It’s a win.
Relax.
:angel1: