C
choy
Guest
DaneClark
like you i have a similar situation in my life. i fell in love when i was young but through my own immaturity and carelessnes i let my love go only to realize later on i wanted her with me.
being raised in a Catholic family and sent to Catholic school all my life, i’ve always believed in the power of prayer. plus it helps that my mom is very, very prayerful and is very devout in her several Novenas (Our Lady of Perpetual Help on Wednesdays, Sacred Heart on Fridays among others).
so i flipped out my prayer books and asking for God to answer my prayers. i’ve kept my faith in God and i’ve tried several novena prayers, hoping and seeking to receive God’s blessing and grant me my request.
time passed and nothing seems to be happening. there were small victories but nothing really sticked that you could mention as progress. i’ve let time pass by hoping for the girl’s emotions to be healed from the foolishness i’ve displayed and then eventually we will be reunited. nothing happened. i get a whiff of news of her from time to time but nothing that a straight thinking person would constitute as a “chance”. i’ve read my fair share of bible passages where Jesus personally promised, from His own words, that what we ask God will hear and grant.
from “ask and you shall receive” to the parable of the corrupt judge to miracles because of people’s faith (“your faith has healed you”), i’ve read them over and over to tell myself that soon God will deliver why i have asked
but as time passed, hope turned to despair as the situation turned from improbable to impossible. i thought God was answering my prayers as the physical distance between me the the woman who is the object of my affection was gone when she moved back to our home country where i stayed. but only for her to find another love and marry. this naturally broke my heart and for the first time in my life i can say i know what hate feels like. the thought of them makes my blood boil, literaly. i can feel my blood pressure building up and my face becoming hot as if i had fever. my morals became subjugated by my emotions and if i had the chance i could have killed the guy without feeling remorse at that time. not only that, i turned from a faithful catholic to an agnostic. i could never waver believing in God, but i feel like that He never really participates in my daily life. i believe He created me and everything else but outside of that, daily life is just determined by chance and luck as everyone goes by their own way. i thought that He had no participation whatsoever.
though perhaps the way i was brought up, or because my mom’s constant prayer, God never gave up on me. despite being blasphemous, He understood that I was in a deep emotional pain that at the right time, He’ll show me the answers and get me back.
then at some point, my eyes were opened. perhaps because i still went to church even though it was just to please my mom, God still had an avenue to reach me. a song that i’ve heard all my life suddenly had meaning. just before the gospel at mass they would sometimes sing, “seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you…”. i realized, God is not a genie in a magic bottle that He will just answer wish after wish after wish. we should seek God first and everything will happen for us. Jesus did say that what kind of father would give his son fire to play with? God knows if this girl is perfect for you or not. and if she’s not, God will give you one that is. but only if you let Him. and as i inched my way back to my faith i realized more and more what it means to receive the blessings of God.
today, when i ask something, i open up my heart to God. i let Him know what i want, and then i tell Him that i trust in His will. that His will is alwasy for the best for me and for the whole world. if what i want is not in His will, then His will be the one done. i always view myself as a boat in the middle of a river and God’s will is the current. i can paddle myself against it and head my way. or i can just relax and let God take me where He wants to, trusting fully that God will always take me where it is best for me.
and so what happened next to my story? i met a girl who turned out was perfect for me. we got married, moved to a new country, have good jobs and able to afford a house. and soon we’ll have our first baby, all by God’s grace.
pray to God that His will be done on your life. and accept that whatever happens, its always for the best. submit yourself to His will.
like you i have a similar situation in my life. i fell in love when i was young but through my own immaturity and carelessnes i let my love go only to realize later on i wanted her with me.
being raised in a Catholic family and sent to Catholic school all my life, i’ve always believed in the power of prayer. plus it helps that my mom is very, very prayerful and is very devout in her several Novenas (Our Lady of Perpetual Help on Wednesdays, Sacred Heart on Fridays among others).
so i flipped out my prayer books and asking for God to answer my prayers. i’ve kept my faith in God and i’ve tried several novena prayers, hoping and seeking to receive God’s blessing and grant me my request.
time passed and nothing seems to be happening. there were small victories but nothing really sticked that you could mention as progress. i’ve let time pass by hoping for the girl’s emotions to be healed from the foolishness i’ve displayed and then eventually we will be reunited. nothing happened. i get a whiff of news of her from time to time but nothing that a straight thinking person would constitute as a “chance”. i’ve read my fair share of bible passages where Jesus personally promised, from His own words, that what we ask God will hear and grant.
from “ask and you shall receive” to the parable of the corrupt judge to miracles because of people’s faith (“your faith has healed you”), i’ve read them over and over to tell myself that soon God will deliver why i have asked
but as time passed, hope turned to despair as the situation turned from improbable to impossible. i thought God was answering my prayers as the physical distance between me the the woman who is the object of my affection was gone when she moved back to our home country where i stayed. but only for her to find another love and marry. this naturally broke my heart and for the first time in my life i can say i know what hate feels like. the thought of them makes my blood boil, literaly. i can feel my blood pressure building up and my face becoming hot as if i had fever. my morals became subjugated by my emotions and if i had the chance i could have killed the guy without feeling remorse at that time. not only that, i turned from a faithful catholic to an agnostic. i could never waver believing in God, but i feel like that He never really participates in my daily life. i believe He created me and everything else but outside of that, daily life is just determined by chance and luck as everyone goes by their own way. i thought that He had no participation whatsoever.
though perhaps the way i was brought up, or because my mom’s constant prayer, God never gave up on me. despite being blasphemous, He understood that I was in a deep emotional pain that at the right time, He’ll show me the answers and get me back.
then at some point, my eyes were opened. perhaps because i still went to church even though it was just to please my mom, God still had an avenue to reach me. a song that i’ve heard all my life suddenly had meaning. just before the gospel at mass they would sometimes sing, “seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you…”. i realized, God is not a genie in a magic bottle that He will just answer wish after wish after wish. we should seek God first and everything will happen for us. Jesus did say that what kind of father would give his son fire to play with? God knows if this girl is perfect for you or not. and if she’s not, God will give you one that is. but only if you let Him. and as i inched my way back to my faith i realized more and more what it means to receive the blessings of God.
today, when i ask something, i open up my heart to God. i let Him know what i want, and then i tell Him that i trust in His will. that His will is alwasy for the best for me and for the whole world. if what i want is not in His will, then His will be the one done. i always view myself as a boat in the middle of a river and God’s will is the current. i can paddle myself against it and head my way. or i can just relax and let God take me where He wants to, trusting fully that God will always take me where it is best for me.
and so what happened next to my story? i met a girl who turned out was perfect for me. we got married, moved to a new country, have good jobs and able to afford a house. and soon we’ll have our first baby, all by God’s grace.
pray to God that His will be done on your life. and accept that whatever happens, its always for the best. submit yourself to His will.