Does God Want Me To Be Alone

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Me too.
Living alone does not necessarily mean being alone or being lonely. There are many ways to serve people. I found that as I serve people that feeling of isolation tends to go away. But my personality being what it is, the feelings of loneliness are a cross that I frequently bear. And I am a married guy who works in retail. It’s just something that comes around. I let it draw me to God.
 
Yes. I am one of those people too. I was married to a very cruel and abusive man. I divorced him which I did not take lightly, but I couldn’t go on living in fear. When I finally got the nerve to date again, I ended up with a shallow liar. I know I am not called to a religious vocation, and it seems as though marriage is not for me. The single life is hard and lonely for sure.
 
all that happens is the will of God. And being alone is not a sin, only sin displeases God
 
Thank you for replying but what family? They could care less. My Mother didn’t want children and she’s too mental to talk to. Moving takes money and I’m on SSI which pays very little for the things I need.I do without a lot of times. Moving to a city without knowing someone is putting me right back where I am now. I don’t have neighbors and out in the country. Plus, I couldn’t anyway. I’m disabled and can’t move around very well.

God Bless You.
 
I don’t understand why moving to the city would set you back. If you are painfully lonely in the country, you have to move to a city. Why not pick up the phone and call the priest of your area. Explain the situation. You can’t go on like this. You need to change something. Sometimes, we DO need the generosity of others to move ahead.
 
I’m sorry, but being disabled and on SSI aren’t excuses for not being able to change your circumstances. People move to locations where they don’t know anyone all the time. And yes, many of them are disabled and on SSI. You can make a new life for yourself too if you really want to.

Contact your local Human Resources for help. Or Catholic Charities. Or look online at a city directory. There are many resources you probably qualify for that you didn’t know existed. Take advantage of them.

Reach out to those in your Church. Let someone know what your needs are. There is help available for every circumstance, every need. But you won’t receive that help if you don’t make your need known.

Your disability and being on SSI aren’t the problem. Your lack of self confidence is. Learn to feel good about yourself and your abilities and you’ll be amazed at the number of people who will gravitate towards you because of your winning personality.

And lest you think I don’t understand, I too am disabled and on SSI. But I don’t dwell on the things that hold me back. I concentrate on moving forward despite my physical limitations.

That is what you need to do. Move forward with the gifts God gave you. God has blessed you. Now you need to decide what you are going to do with your life for Him, for yourself and for others. God doesn’t make junk. He made you a clay pot that will one day be a Ming vase.
 
What you said made me sadder and in sorrow worse than I’ve been in my life. And wonder why people don’t have compassion or empathy for others. I’ve never heard of disabled people moving in a town without knowing someone. Especially since I broke my neck and can barely walk. And the only reason why I can type, although in fiery pain and do the things I do without anyone here is that of the grace of God. I have dealt with things you will never conceive and never done probably, I really don’t know about you and your circumstances and do the things I just wrote about without help and in pain so hurtful, I could bite through tree trunks.

I’ve had people come up to my house at all hours of the night, shine their lights on my house and the next thing I know one of my beautiful cats are gone. And trust me they do not meander far from home. NO, they do not. That means people have been coming onto my porch and grabbing them while I sleep because they have a small shelter to sleep in. Or I forget to let my favored cats, although, I love them all, in when I fall asleep. The Deputies won’t do a thing even when there are tire tracks next to my porch stairs. I have CHRONIC PANIC ANXIETY, and PTSD and I start to shake when it starts getting dark. Because if they are getting that close to get to my babies, what about me?

I live in a small town where there is nothing here. If you had followed my posts, you would have read what all I have done. Plus, you wrote what I have already done and more. And my Church is small and poor. I’m homebound so I watch mass on my internet which is all I have and someone pays for it. I have Ministers come to my home so I can receive communion.

I can’t type anymore for I’d rather not deal with people who don’t understand and I apologize for that. And more because it hurts my neck and back.

Oh, if I can barely lift a plate of food, how do you expect me to lift boxes and live alone when I have a caregiver that comes to help me occasionally?

Plus, I was a Director of a mental facility. I know about self esteem and more.

Oh, and too this needs to be said…After I broke my neck, I weighed 85 lbs, wore diapers, couldn’t swallow, eat, walk, talk and more. I still had a little of my faculties left. So, I told God I was not going out this way. TOOK me THREE years to talk, walk, eat, swallow and more. I fought hard to do these things. Unfortunately, now being older my body is not cooperating and I struggle every day with other physical illnesses. But, I still praise God that I’m alive and wish I could help mankind like I used to.
 
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Nap66 said:
People talk all the time about discerning your vocation/God’s will for your life. But such discernment always leads either to marriage or religious life. What if God’s will for your life is that you stay alone - no marriage, no religious vocation?

All roads are leading me to being alone. In fact, most of my life I have been alone, except for my marriage, where actually I was alone in that too. I always envied those people in strong, partnership marriages. I never had that although I strived for it until I realized it was impossible to attain. In the end, I think God wants me to be alone.

God said it was not good for man to be alone in Genesis, but then there are many, many, people who are alone.
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You will never become the husband or wife you were meant to be (if that’s what you’re meant for) if you are miserable while single. You have to attain a reasonable happiness while single. A person called to marriage will find greater happiness in fulfilling their vocation, but they will still be reasonably happy before marriage, since their happiness ought to be rooted in love of God and thanking him every day.

Having your happiness dependent on another creature, even if that person is a great guy/girl, is idolatry. People mourn their spouse when they pass on and suffer both short-term and long-term from it, and they miss them and it leaves an anchor hanging in their chest, but their ultimate happiness and hope has to be in God. If it isn’t, there is a serious problem.

The world and especially the developed world has a serious crisis in terms of deep connections and relationships. IMO it is going to get worse before it gets better.

This is a heavy burden. I hope with the grace of God that you can move through it. Jesus loves you. Peace.
 
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I have read your posts. You’re consistent in some things and not in others. More questions are raised in my mind reading your words than are answered. I stand by the advice I’ve already given you.

There is much I want to say but won’t for various reasons. Just remember, there is help for your various needs out there

As a fellow cat lover, if you are able to, please consider keeping your beloved kitties indoors which is both safer for them and will prolong their lives. Taking care of them will also give you a goal in life.

You are in my prayers.
 
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I’ll offer you what I can. I always wanted to marry and have a family. I came from a home with a warm, vibrant, loving marriage and three siblings. I was afforded the means by my folks to go to college, and enable myself to realize that dream of a family of my own. Guess what. It didn’t happen. Because, primarily, of my own mistakes going though life.
I am now in my 70’s. I have been consistent with my commitment to God, the RCC, and myself. I have always prayed and kept my eyes open. And lo and behold, I am beginning to believe that my not having a spouse and a family may well have been a gift from God. My life is sometimes lonely but I do as much as I can to make it not so. I take classes at a local college, stay active and involved and interested in life, and hope for God’s great promise that every tear will be wiped away when I walk through that final door.
Am I sometimes lonely, yes. But I realize that, given my personality, desires, and abilities, maybe a family was not right for me. It took a lot of patience with God on my part to come to that realization. And I think He will smile at me when I meet Him and say, “You understand, good. Now, come and see what I have prepared for you.”
It takes patience and trust. And no, my journey hasn’t been filled with laughs and happiness. But I am fine and put myself in His hands from here on out.

I hope you, and anyone else with the same feelings, finds that reason for why life is as it is.
Shalom.
 
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How in the world can I budget when I only make 755.00 a month and rent is 677.00 now? My landlord goes up and down on the rent. And I have to pay utilities and buy supplies for a caregiver, then there’s groceries. Plus, I’m paying off a 1,500.00 debt a friend got me into which I’d never would have done in the first place. It’s a loan from the bank.

I know I wrote about my cats because I’m dealing with massive sorrow. I should have deleted that part but it was too late. I knew it did not belong with the content I was talking about. I’ve had a head injury and can’t think sometimes and now I’m not sleeping. Well, I never have.

Further, I’ve been without food many times because of lack of funds and have had to eat CAT FOOD because I had nothing in my cupboards. I’m telling you this because I don’t believe you’ve read my posts.

Never think you know about a person unless you know them personally and have seen for yourself. I wish not to debate or argue or whatever with you. I cannot take it. I do not want it, and I don’t deserve what you are dishing out.

Jesus says to be slow to anger which I’m trying to be. And I have to forgive you.

I sincerely apologize if I’ve offended you. Still, you made me cry because that is all I do every day from losses I’ve endured and think, “Oh not another person that thinks such and such. Yet, I’m truly sorry from my heart.”
 
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I understand your situation more than you think I do, Sheila. I just don’t believe in “can’t.” I wasn’t raised that way. My mother wouldn’t allow me to use my disability as an excuse for anything. And I was born with mine. Cerebral palsy.

Think of what it’s like to walk crooked, one foot turning in all the time. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve fallen each day because my foot catches on something that a person with both feet straight avoids easily. Struggling each day to keep my balance.

When I was little, I walked on my tippy toes because my left leg was shorter than the other. Thanks to the Shriners, I was able to have surgery which lengthened kept that leg the same length as my other leg for many years. Now the leg is shorter again and I use a quad cane, sometimes my walker, to get around. I used to walk up to 5 miles a day. I can’t do that anymore.

Whenever I fell (and fall), Mama would say, “Get up, Little Bird. Keep moving.” There was only one time I couldn’t get up. That was when I broke my good foot in two places while trying to bring in the laundry. My mother, who is also disabled, had to bring it in.

I have vision problems, diabetes, osteo arthritis and other medical issues I won’t go into. I could develop more at any time.

I am on SSI and unable to work. I’ve been through bankruptcy. I’ve been without a home.

Still, I do not blame my disability for any of it. I’ve learned to set aside some of my SSI each month in case of emergency. I choose not to feel sorry for myself. I suffer from PTSD and panic attacks. Feeling sorry for myself doesn’t resolve whatever the problem is. And I prefer to think constructively and productively.

I have a “can do, will do” attitude. Despite my CP and other health issues, I am also my elderly mother’s caregiver. If the surgery I am supposed to have this week takes place, she will stay with me in the hospital because she cannot stay alone. She cannot do much for herself due to her own health issues. So we will both be there with my recovery easier because I won’t be so worried about her.

As I said in a previous post, I’ve read your posts - all of them. In many of them, you blame your disability and being on SSI for your inability to do anything.

You say you have a caregiver. How often does he or she come by? If your disability (the broken/almost broken neck and spinal issues) is as serious as you say it is, how are you not receiving 24/7 care in rehab or a nursing home? That would be my concern since it sounds like you shouldn’t be living alone. Please get someone who can help you with all the daily necessities. Do it for yourself and those kitties who love, trust and depend on you.

And definitely move when you are able to. The country is too isolated. You need to be in a location where there are plenty of drs who can address your medical needs and preferably a location that also has a Catholic Church nearby for your spiritual needs.

You remain in my prayers.
 
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I blame my disability because I once was healthy, not born with it. Plus, I hate depending on the Government for my existence. Yet, I know I have a softness for disabling people. I didn’t have a Mom, like yours, I had a Mom who was so abusive, my sister hasn’t talked to her in 40 years. I tried to make my now elderly Mom happy thinking to make her last years on earth a joyful one, but she’s so bitter she will never change. But I don’t blame her for anything except for my back. Still, I forgave her and don’t go around mental people. Not even her. Nor does the rest of my siblings. If anyone drives you crazy or makes you mental, don’t go near them. No matter who they are. Love them from afar. Further, everyone is different. You learn that in psychology. If someone doesn’t weather like you, don’t get angry with them. They were not made out of the same stuff as you were and they didn’t have a Mother who was caring enough to treat you like you were like everyone else. Kudos to your Mother.

I’m sorry I made you upset. I’ll have to write later. I hurt between my shoulder blades and need to rest. But deep in my heart, I do want to be friends. I don’t like arguing. I wish we could have tea or whatever and talk of our journeys. I love pictures and others’ life stories. God bless.
 
That was my favorite song when it came out I was in High School

I don’t think anyone is to be a lone not to where that’s all you think about. I don’t think it 24/7. I agree that if another person is the only thing that will make you happy, it could be idolatry. Although, I’ve never heard it called that before. I think if you can’t do without a man or woman, that would be mental.

God made marriage a sacrament between two people. God also made Eve to be a companion to Adam. Did He not?

Now, I’ll rest.
 
Sheila, the only thing that upsets me is you blaming your disability for everything in the now and using it as a crutch. You are not your disability. It doesn’t define you. You can’t change the past. But you can take control of your future.

I’m sorry if my bluntness upsets you. That’s not my intent. Just trying to help you see things objectively. Whether your disability is one that can be treated or is permanent, God has given you this burden for a reason. Use it to glorify Him.

As for your family, all you can do is pray for them. Let God handle it. His shoulders are stronger than ours.
 
If I didn’t push myself, I would not have taken care of twenty-six cats, not having the funds to fix them from multiplying. Thus, they did. The original number was seven to nine, cats a neighbor left when they moved. I could’t see them starve and the shelters don’t come out here so I took them on. People kept telling me not to feed them but I kept praying that God would find a way and did. Now, that I look back at having so many I don’t know how I did it but they survived and so did I.

I’m not using my disability as a crutch but people are different. They may pain where you don’t and so on. And I moved by myself from a different town to another town when people left. Hurting like hecko and all. People moved from here also and I’m alone, nay, isolated from others. This is a town of 6,000 spread out. If there were things like a library or big store or myi Church was closer I would walk to them. I’ve walked to the only little store we have here carrying bags of things, almost breaking my neck again because of the heaviness but I did it. The last time I walked it started to rain and I fell hurting my bad leg. bad back, neck and more.Actually, it was more like sliding.Yet, I got up and continued on. After that episode, I stopped walking and carrying bags like that. I have brittle bones and I’m not about to have them break again and endure more hurtful pain like I do on a daily basis. Not going to. Not going to hurt anymore than I do already. I would not be able to handle it. Sorry.

You can’t say anything unless you walk in a person’s shoes to know their story. I have more that I’ve done and endured but I’m tired and don’t want to keep going about something that God knows.

I think not having a vehicle has a lot to do with isolation and not having cab or bus service out here hurts also. I’m done.

God bless you and I pray for everyone. Even you, Lily.
 
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It’s s good thing I never married.

I have really bad taste in men and if I had married my ex I would have remained an atheist.
 
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