Does having pre-marital sex mean I must marry

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Cirkaj

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Hi all,

I’m a practicing Roman Catholic who has recently been pulled back by the grace of God. Previously however, when I was away my girlfriend and I have had sex several times. I have gone to confession, and so has she. Does having sex with my girlfriend mean I must marry her? I can’t help but feel like I owe it to her no matter what my vocation is.
 
No, you don’t have to marry her.
And welcome to the forum
 
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Nope you don’t. You owe it to her to not have sex with her again/engage in lustful behaviour until marriage, though
 
No, you don’t have to marry her, but congratulations if you should choose to do so!

By the way, are you sure that you are happy having your full name in your profile? Most people prefer to be a bit more anonymous, especially if they are posting personal information that may be sensitive for them.
 
Welcome. One of the problems with premarital relations is that sometimes your partner assumes that this is a life long commitMent! You don’t have to marry but you do owe the other a full explanation!
 
. . . .If this is the person that you have been courting and wanting to go further with possibly to be engaged, stop fornicating immediately and get healing by going to see a priest, the both of you. You have to forgive each other so that what you have done in fornicating is forgiven and you can go into the marriage with a clear conscience.
 
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LittleFlower378 said:
The problem with fornication is that if you do marry this person you will have problems in your marriage because of the fornication.
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Don’t listen to this bit @Cirkaj. . . .

To be fair, all marriages have their struggles but to attribute these troubles to having premarital sex with each other is . . . presumptuous.
 
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Cirkaj said:
Does having sex with my girlfriend mean I must marry her?
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No.
Cirkaj said:
can’t help but feel like I owe it to her
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That is a faulty understanding of the sacrament of marriage.

We do not base marriage on the fact that we transgressed the moral law with someone. That isn’t the foundation of a marriage.
Cirkaj said:
no matter what my vocation is.
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Please get some counseling from your priest. Your vocation may be to marriage, but it doesn’t mean it is with this girl necessarily.

If you discern marriage with her it will be for other reasons, it should not be based on guilty feelings.
 
I’m not one to defend fornication, but: Yeah, what the @Episcopalian said.
With all due respect, I call baloney. 🥪
Episcopalian said:
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LittleFlower378:
The problem with fornication is that if you do marry this person you will have problems in your marriage because of the fornication.
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Don’t listen to this bit @Cirkaj. Totally judgement based and not based in fact at all.
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bloundhound said:
No. Having sex with your girlfriend before marriage should help you decide if you want to marry her at all.
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How so?

There is much more to marriage than sex. If people base who they want to marry simply on sexual experiences with that person, reality is going to hit hard once they’re married.

In short, if you are attracted to and really love the person you want to marry, then sex shouldn’t be a big concern. There’s no need to go for a “test drive before you buy,” to put it rather crudely.
 
We know exactly what you mean. We just disagree with the attitude and the action.
 
Well then let me tell you from experience and my own marriage. My wife filed for divorce today, please pray for me, my wife, and our marriage. We fornicated before we got married, it does 100%, if its not dealt with and forgiven, put a strain on a marriage.
 
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Im not preaching infallible dogma here, just an something that is common sense. Just like a relationship that is adulterous that somehow ends in a marriage, the lies and the sinful acts creep up in the marriage if not dealt with.
 
yes that fine, i never declared it was dogma.
 
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bloundhound said:
Nicely put, I think that people can be metaphorically compared to many things.
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But we are talking about the moral consideration of human beings. It is difficult to see how using one another in a utilitarian fashion, in the manner of a test drive, contributes to the moral treatment of human beings.

Human beings ought to be considered as exceptional compared to inanimate objects.
 
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