Does it get easier (lust)

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iwillendure

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for many years i have had problems with my lust (masturbation and pronography) as im sure many people have before me.

i have come to the point in my life now where i completely refuse to give in to this behavior. I always feel guilty and ashamed of doing these things. it a selfish act only seeking self pleasure and it makes me feel weak just to give in to it. I also feel horrible because i im not only hurting myself but i feel as if i am hurting the women that i would use to help me self indulge, like i am stealing their innocence.

usually if i didnt give into the desire the feeling to give in would eventually subside but now it seems like i go all day with the feeling to give in to my selfish desire.

i was wondering if anybody could give me insight. does it ever get easier does the desire ever leave im sure it wont leave indefinitly but is possible to keep it out for weeks or months at a time or is it going to be a daily struggle of always having to fight it.
 
Go camping for 1-2 weeks.

When you get back you won’t feel like it again.
 
I’m wondering the same thing. My priest says it’s a natural thing (in the sense of: since the fall (of adam)) to feel a burning desire for women. Don’t get me wrong, it is lust and it is a sin if you give into to it. He suggested praying something like: “thank you for creating this beautiful creature” “I’m sorry for her immodesty” and don’t dwell on any thoughts of impurity. readily take it away from your thoughts and pray one such prayer.

Personally, when I prayed the rosary (5 decades or all 15 if you are able), I found holiness; including chastity and purity of mind became very much easier. ,Very, very much easier!
So if you Love God, keep his commandments.
Option B, until you are able to better control yourself for Love of God, remember that Hell is but a mortal sin and God Loves you but Hell is an ever present danger we all face.

St. Robert Bellarmine’s “Hell and It’s Torments” really helped me out. (part of The Last Four Things). TAN Books publish

(I hope atleast imperfect contrition gets you (and I for that matter) by until you are perfectly united with God’s Will)
 
(Post 1 of 2)

Well, i can’t say what temptations God will allow for you for your own good, because overcoming temptations does give you merit in heaven and makes you stronger over your temptations,
but i will say, it most certainly can get easier, you can go with almost no temptations for the rest of your life if that were Gods will,
but the only way to know is to diligently and sincerely seek to overcome it, which you must do by prayer, mortification, penance, spiritual reading, taking part in the sacraments(communion and confession) and practicing all of your virtues,
which of course we must do no matter what temptations we suffer, because we are all as Christians called to live a life of holiness and sanctity in imitation of the life of Jesus Christ,
but some remedies in particular for those sins you named off -
first of all, as you may have heard before, sins of the flesh are not to be fought with, but fled from, for example, if you are alone and all of a sudden the temptation creeps up on you, leave where you are and either seek someone elses company, or go out for a walk, don’t consider it in your mind or toy with the idea whatsoever, but immediately without thinking just get up and get out.
of course another sure remedy is simply to keep yourself occupied, never be without something to do “For idleness hath taught much evil.” Ecclesiasticus 33:29
and if the computer is a near occasion of sin for you, then you must do something about that, whether it be getting a filter, or moving your computer somewhere there’s always others around, or just not going on in your free time and only using the computer when you need to,

next you need to learn how to pray as soon as you realize the temptation,
it’s not easy to remember at first, but after practicing for awhile it starts to become second nature,
what you need to do is, as soon as you recognize the temptation, seek Gods help and help from His Blessed Mother and the angels and saints, and then use the graces He sends you to get out of the temptation,
for example, when the temptation comes, immediately pray “Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, wash over me, protect me from the wickedness and snares of the devil” and then pray “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Saint Maria Goretti, Guardian angel, help me” and then take the first way out that you see, whether it’s changing your thoughts to something else, or getting up and walking away, or shutting the computer off, or seeking someones company…whatever it may be, when you ask for Gods help, He will send it to you, and it will most likely be in the form of an inspiration, a thought will come to mind of what to do, an “exit” sign you might say, and you must take that thought and put it into use, because that is the grace God is sending you.

another prayer that will help is, saying 3 Hail Marys in the morning and at night for the intentions of purity and holiness, which was the practice of Saint Maria Goretti, and has helped me immeasurably, as soon as i started that practice, everything took a huge turn and just got better.

another great means in overcoming this sin and becoming much stronger against temptations of any kind really, is mortification, fasting, and penance,
which you can learn about from these -
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=13047443
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=19085149
audiosancto.org/sermon/20091101-There-is-No-Sanctification-Without-Mortification.html
audiosancto.org/sermon/20030103-Lent-Fasting-Abstinence-and-Penance.html

and spiritual reading is very important, something you should make time for every day, even if only for 10 or 20 minutes, or however much you can spare,
and i would recommend books from these two publishers -
www.fraternitypublications.com
www.tanbooks.com
especially the writings of the saints, and lives of the saints would be good to read and help you very much.

(continued in next post)
 
(Post 2 of 2)

then confession and communion will help you more than anything, take advantage of confession when you can or when you need to, it is there just for you, and you will find no greater help in overcoming your sins than this, it is confession that made the saints who they were, because confession gives us the special graces we need, and also the mindset, to really overcome our sins and increase in our sanctifying grace,
even if you have no mortal sins to confess, confess your venial sins, with a sincere intention of overcoming them, and also confess your temptations to mortal sin, by which you will gain extra special graces and the strength to more easily resist your temptations.
and of course receiving Jesus in the most Holy Sacrament will give you more help and graces than anything else,
for advice on how to approach this Blessed Sacrament and how to make the most of it, try getting these books -
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/410
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/549

then there’s the practice of your virtues, which is first approached by prayer, because it is only by the grace of God that we can accomplish anything good in ourselves, and then just try and learn everything you can on the virtues, especially the ones you are in most need, but you must learn about all of them and practice all of them…which is something that will happen over time, so don’t get worried about it, it’s a gradual process and something that needs patience and humility,
you will grow in the virtues first by Gods grace, and second by your own effort, whether that effort be by prayer or action, since many of the virtues are infused and can only be obtained by Gods grace.
for good reading and advice on the virtues, i would recommend checking these out -
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=18604915
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=13046861
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=12961543
www.audiosancto.org
www.alabamacatholicresources.com

those, plus those book sites i listed, and then of course talking with your priest, will help very much.
i hope this will be a good stepping stone for you, and it is by no means all there is to it, so just keep at it, pray your rosary every day, and seek Gods help in all things(no matter how small),
and don’t let the world get you down, remember we are told - “The desire that is accomplished, delighteth the soul: fools hate them that flee from evil things. He that walketh with the wise, shall be wise: a friend of fools shall become like to them.” Proverbs 13:19
heaven will be a far greater help to you than man, so don’t let them get you down, keep these three things always before you - your goal, your inevitable death, and Jesus crucified.

alright, hope this helps, take care.
 
Hi iwillendure,

I am sure you are looking for some practices for every moment of your life to keep away from sin. The desire to be holy is the gift of Holy Spirit. It clearly indicates that the Holy Spirit is acting in you and you are trying your level best to respond positively to His inspirations.

Please remember , never ever think that you can do it yourself or by reading any theological or scary “hell story” books, or by reading even the most inspiring books. IT WILL NOT WORK. (I mean no offense to anyone who suggest those things, Its my opinion.)

First ask yourself ,are you ready to do what ever it takes to come to holiness ? If yes,
Few things you MUST do,

Weekly confession.
Spend as much time as possible in front of the Holy Eucharist.
Prayer to St George and St Michael ( Especially of St Michael-learn it by heart and keep reciting it as many times as possible)
Do Rosary everyday.( the best) or at least The Memorare.

Always think that Jesus is near to you, with you. Meditate on His most Sacred Heart.

Read Bible everyday, at least a small passage. Take one verse and keep repeating it during your daily activities.

And most importantly, make a time table, be busy, when you have free time, give it to the Lord.

Yes, Weekly confession, going for Eucharistic adoration and doing Rosary take lot of efforts and it gives the best result. But Prayer to St Michael, The Memorare, meditating on the Most Sacred Heart, a Bible verse etc can be done effortlessly anytime during the day (I am sure you are good at multi tasking).

Don’t try to run away, it will follow you. But face it leaning on Jesus with our Lady on your side.

And you will get there…Also I will keep in your prayers.

With paryers,
Joe
 
iwillendure said:
for many years i have had problems with my lust (masturbation and pronography) as im sure many people have before me.

i have come to the point in my life now where i completely refuse to give in to this behavior. I always feel guilty and ashamed of doing these things. it a selfish act only seeking self pleasure and it makes me feel weak just to give in to it. I also feel horrible because i im not only hurting myself but i feel as if i am hurting the women that i would use to help me self indulge, like i am stealing their innocence.

usually if i didnt give into the desire the feeling to give in would eventually subside but now it seems like i go all day with the feeling to give in to my selfish desire.

i was wondering if anybody could give me insight. does it ever get easier does the desire ever leave im sure it wont leave indefinitly but is possible to keep it out for weeks or months at a time or is it going to be a daily struggle of always having to fight it.
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Yes, it does get easier with time and practice.

When I was very, very young and first started working, it was extremely difficult to discipline myself to the conditions work demanded from me, and the routines it required. Slowly, painfully but surely I got better at it, as it were. It is still, and likely always will be, difficult, but clearly the rewards and benefits of that discipline outweigh the loss incurred to my freedom. It makes me value my free-time more.

Ultimately self-discipline re-establishes our integral dignity and sets us free. We become the masters of our house, and offer that house as a temple to God. He is able, if we let Him, to set our house in order, and then make good use of it also, as ultimately He is the one who designed that house (us). However, we must be open to His Grace. We have to give an unqualified ‘Yes !’ to God.

Society does place modern Christians under ridiculous circumstances, though. The loss of modesty in dress, the proliferation of abusive and degrading entertainment, the loss of good manners and examples, etc., exposes the Christian constantly to hazards and scandal. The realities of life nonetheless still demand we subject ourselves to being exposed to such things, however, as we can’t hide ourselves from the world. It is therefore right and just, in my opinion, to pray and petition for an alleviation of these temptations first from God, but also from our leadership in general.

For men, we are doubly pained, as it is a well known maxim of Truth that “Women are the guardians of chastity for the world.” Present laissez-faire attitudes toward conduct and dress means men are constantly exposed to demaning examples of womanhood on one hand, and on the other constantly exposed to temptation. It would be nice if the Church would start pressing for more discipline in modesty of dress and conduct, this, IMHO, would help restore the rightful dignity of womanhood and help redeem her in the eyes of man, while also reducing exposure to needless temptation.

Frequent Confession and reception of the Eucharist, which constitutes the Eucharistic Discipline, is the narrow gate and road established by Christ for our liberty. Following it will never lead us astray.

Pax,
Tim
 
How old are you?

Once you get married (if you plan on going that route) you will find that it is a lot easier to not think about masturbation and pornography.
 
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