Does mom's pregnancy affect the childs personality

[jjsc3]

When my wife was pregnant with our first child, her pregnancy was a breeze and she was not at all “hormonal”. In fact, she was more even keel than usual. Our first child is a very well behaved kid. When my wife was pregnant with our second child, she was more hormonal than I have ever seen her (she looked like my wife, sounded like my wife, but I have no idea who that person was). Also, she was very depressed after the child was born. She won’t admit she had postpartum depression, but it was obvious to all around her. My son from that pregnancy is now 4 and is having some behavior issues at home and at pre-school. We had one more child and the pregnancy and child are similar to my wife’s first pregnancy. Is there any correlation between the womans pregnancy and how the child will turn out? Could the wacky hormones or stress the mother is dealing with affect the personality development of the child during pregnancy? We also lost a pregnancy when my son was an infant and that was very stressful for my wife.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

jjsc3, you might be surprised like I was to realize something. No two children in the same family have the same parents.

Think about it.

Life happens while we’re having babies. I was a very different mother with my first, versus my second, versus my third.

The children later on had a mother who was more distracted by more obligations.

You can’t blame a child’s behavior on the hormones during pregnancy. It’s not something you can really even study. If your wife is stressed out more, that will affect her parenting.

And the gender of the baby could affect things… boys are sometimes given to more behavioral problems as children.

And how a baby behaves as an infant doesn’t always predict things. My quietest most well-behaved baby has been the biggest challenge as a teenager.

Don’t be afraid to step in and give your wife as much help as possible. Three young children is a lot. She sounds stressed. And if there are any marital problems at all, that has a HUGE effect on even young toddlers. They react to it even when the parents think they are keeping things private. Kids are like stress meters. They KNOW. And they act out.

I’m not saying you are responsible for anything. I’m just saying it’s a hot button with me personally. My xh used to accuse me of being “hormonal” because that then meant he didn’t have to face the fact he was driving his family into the ground with his selfishness.

So if you are doing as much as you can and being as loving as you can be, and your wife is still depressed, then worry about your wife’s hormones. Be sure she isn’t reacting to YOU when you bring up hormones. I promise you that discussion won’t go well for you.

Better yet, offer to let her go off by herself with some female friends for a weekend. YOU take care of the kids all by yourself. (No bringing your mother in to help.) When she gets back all refreshed, maybe you’ll have a really good understanding of things. I find a startling number of men have NEVER taken care of their own children and house all by themselves for more than 9 hours at a time. Yet wives are expected to do that, clean the house, cook and remain chipper, happy and ready for hot lovemaking at 2 in the morning and when they aren’t husbands call them names like “hormonal” and such.

Not accusing you… just in case there are readers out there who may not have seen life from that point of view… Some women really aren’t hormonal. They’re overwhelmed. Life wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to be so tired you wanted to fall asleep under the tomato stand at the grocery store. Kids reflect their parents’ emotions more than their parents’ hormones.