Does one need classes for penance?

[Timidity]

My daughter is 13. She’s been baptized, communioned, and confirmed, but she has not yet received the sacrament of penance.

Does she require formal instruction for this, or does she just show up for confession? Or does this change from parish to parish?

I have to say that, at her age, I don’t relish the thought of putting her in a class with a bunch of younger kids.

Thanks!

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Timidity:

My daughter is 13. She’s been baptized, communioned, and confirmed, but she has not yet received the sacrament of penance.

Does she require formal instruction for this, or does she just show up for confession? Or does this change from parish to parish?

I have to say that, at her age, I don’t relish the thought of putting her in a class with a bunch of younger kids.

Thanks!

I would simply speak with your pastor and explain the situation. He should arrange for her First Confession, low key. Encourage her to receive this Sacrament monthly.

 

[Timidity]

Thanks, Br. Rich. An ideal solution. (Normally I hate having to call and ask for “special treatment” type things, but I happen to have to make an appointment with the pastor regarding another matter, so I can just bring it up then).

I had gotten the impression that the religious education people were going to give us (and the other familes with neophytes) a call this September about it, but there was a change in directors, and I think she got lost in the transfer. (I was out of town most of that month).

Monthly, eh? I was going to ask that in another thread. I go monthly, and I thought we could easily make it a family thing so that she would never have to approach me about going to confession, but I didn’t know if monthly would be too frequent for a young teen. I know the pasor goes into the school twice a year to hear the kid’s confessions.

Anyway–thanks again!

 

[mercygate]

Timidity:

Thanks, Br. Rich. An ideal solution. (Normally I hate having to call and ask for “special treatment” type things, but I happen to have to make an appointment with the pastor regarding another matter, so I can just bring it up then).

. . .

Monthly, eh? I was going to ask that in another thread. I go monthly, and I thought we could easily make it a family thing so that she would never have to approach me about going to confession, but I didn’t know if monthly would be too frequent for a young teen.
Anyway–thanks again!

Tim,

Your good example and making it a family thing is a great idea. I have a friend who does this, and the priest they go to likes to assign penances like, “Do something charitable for your mother/brother/sister/father/son/daughter.” So after confession, they’re all falling over themselves and each other trying to be especially thoughtful!"

And NEVER be reluctant to ask your pastor the kind of question you raise here. It is his job to take care of these things. This isn’t “special treatment” you are asking for your daughter. She wasn’t treated “properly” some place along the line and this needs to be fixed.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Timidity:

Thanks, Br. Rich. An ideal solution. (Normally I hate having to call and ask for “special treatment” type things, but I happen to have to make an appointment with the pastor regarding another matter, so I can just bring it up then).

I had gotten the impression that the religious education people were going to give us (and the other familes with neophytes) a call this September about it, but there was a change in directors, and I think she got lost in the transfer. (I was out of town most of that month).

Monthly, eh? I was going to ask that in another thread. I go monthly, and I thought we could easily make it a family thing so that she would never have to approach me about going to confession, but I didn’t know if monthly would be too frequent for a young teen. I know the pasor goes into the school twice a year to hear the kid’s confessions.

Anyway–thanks again!

I think a simple invitation. “I’m going to Confession this afternoon, would you like to go also?” Leave it at that. With younger children parents should require them to go and set the example. With an older child, the example is still important, but it becomes a more individual choice. The twice a year Parish Reconciliation services however could be a family requirement.

Keep in mind that the Catholic parent(s) have the responsibility to prepare and teach their children to receive the Sacraments.

 

[asquared]

part of the problem is the RCIA for children is often lumped together with CCD and what you recount happens, kids do fall through the cracks. there is supposed to be a period of mystagogy, teaching and reflection about what the person experienced in the sacraments, and among other things preparation for first confession. What happens is, because of CCD schedules,that go by school-year timing, the families do not bring the child back after Easter for all the classes (which ideally are supposed to last for a full year without the summer off).

Why not get one of the many books on confession for teens, try Liguori or Ave Maria Press or as your youth minister or whoever handles Jr Hi CCd for a recommendation, work through it at home. Tell her how you go about examining your conscience. It should cover the 10 commandments, beatitudes and works of mercy. Go over the process for confessing so she knows what to expect and take her when you go. Try to go yourself often enough that she forms the habit, like once a month on a set day. If she is shy about going to her parish priest take her to a neighboring parish, or a shrine or other pilgrimage site within driving distance for the first time.

 

[Jermosh]

Talk to a priest, he may recomend some sources or persons who can help teach. I was lucky and had some 1:1s with my priest.
After that I would coach her as much as possible and set a strong example of yourself.
Peace
Jermosh