Does overzealous NFP marketing create a contraceptive mentality in Catholics?

[gardenswithkids]

Many “good Catholics” push NFP as if it is desirable for all marriages limit children and to plan each and every child. I hear priests and others recommend NFP to couples that might be open to large families. I even heard one “expert” in my diocese say that NFP promotes chastity and therefore using it for any reason is valid. I don’t find NFP always promotes chastity–one of the first books I ever read on NFP (not a Catholic book) offered all kinds of unchaste suggestions of what to do when a woman is fertile.

The following was posted on another thread:

"Practically ever article I read about NFP – including in our own diocesan newspaper – does, in fact, boast about its rate of effectiveness at preventing pregnancy. In the same article, it claims superiority over contraception because of effectiveness at preventing pregnancy, but simultaneously denounces contraception because it isn’t open to life!

It seems we have over-zealous marketing attitudes, that are trying to use – unwittingly perhaps – bait-and-switch tactics to reel in those who are looking for ‘Catholic contraception.’ "–Alan from Wichita

I think that he raised a good point. Most Catholic families are small, just like the rest of the culture. I know of several couples who used NFP for the first ten years or so of their marriage until they had as many children as they wanted and then turned to sterilization or other contraceptives. There is a significant difference between NFP and contraception, and I do not intend to say they are the same. But sometimes they are used with the same mentality that children are not desirable blessings.

My question is:
Does overzealous marketing of NFP promote a contraceptive mentality in Catholics?

 

[otm]

gardenswithkids:

Many “good Catholics” push NFP as if it is desirable for all marriages limit children and to plan each and every child. I hear priests and others recommend NFP to couples that might be open to large families. I even heard one “expert” in my diocese say that NFP promotes chastity and therefore using it for any reason is valid. I don’t find NFP always promotes chastity–one of the first books I ever read on NFP (not a Catholic book) offered all kinds of unchaste suggestions of what to do when a woman is fertile.

The following was posted on another thread:

"Practically ever article I read about NFP – including in our own diocesan newspaper – does, in fact, boast about its rate of effectiveness at preventing pregnancy. In the same article, it claims superiority over contraception because of effectiveness at preventing pregnancy, but simultaneously denounces contraception because it isn’t open to life!

It seems we have over-zealous marketing attitudes, that are trying to use – unwittingly perhaps – bait-and-switch tactics to reel in those who are looking for ‘Catholic contraception.’ "–Alan from Wichita

I think that he raised a good point. Most Catholic families are small, just like the rest of the culture. I know of several couples who used NFP for the first ten years or so of their marriage until they had as many children as they wanted and then turned to sterilization or other contraceptives. There is a significant difference between NFP and contraception, and I do not intend to say they are the same. But sometimes they are used with the same mentality that children are not desirable blessings.

My question is:
Does overzealous marketing of NFP promote a contraceptive mentality in Catholics?

I would tend to doubt it, as practicing NFP puts the spouse over one’s immediate desires.

There is no question that by choosing to not have intercourse, one is choosing to not have children at that time. But choosing to not have children at that time is not the same as not being open to having children. I would suggest that those who practice NFP are more aware of the connection between the sexual embrace and having children than those who practice some form of birth control.

 

[gardenswithkids]

otm:

There is no question that by choosing to not have intercourse, one is choosing to not have children at that time. But choosing to not have children at that time is not the same as not being open to having children. I would suggest that those who practice NFP are more aware of the connection between the sexual embrace and having children than those who practice some form of birth control.

It’s true that not choosing children at that time is different from not being open to having children, but most of the people I know who use contraception also have children. When I was using contraception I considered myself open to children-- just not a lot of them.

It’s hard to be open to a large family, especially if you don’t see others being open to them. Our society is structured around small families and that places additional burdens on larger families. Even our Catholic schools are structured around small families as the prices increase and the “multi-child discounts” disappear. Right now contraceptive users can blend right in a Catholic Churches, and some of them also push their agenda to control births through illicit means.

NFP* is* a form of birth control. It is a licit one if people have a valid reason to avoid children, but it is still a from of birth control. The net result of birth control is a limited number of children. When you look around the typical Catholic parish, most of the families are small. Now some of those couples may struggle with infertility (and I have a large family in spite of having used birth control in the past), so I won’t judge individuals based on family size. But the truth is, most Catholic families look just like the rest of society. That adds to the societal pressure to restrict the number of children a couple has, and many couples cave into using contraception.

I believe that if some in the Church would stop pushing NFP and instead encourage large families (while reserving NFP for those who have a significant reason not to have more children at that time) we would see a positive change to the culture.

 

[Christian4life]

I agree with you. It is a form of birth control…though not as bad as other forms. I’m not even Catholic so I don’t know how it is in your churches. But in my own research into the Bible, I have found that contraception is NEVER condoned. Any instances of it were always condemned. Children were considered a blessing in that culture.

Most of the people I know just say well the times are different now, culture is different, there are too many people in the world…blah blah etc. It’s more than just apathy…our entire culture is HOSTILE towards new children.

When I was pregnant, some people gave me dirty looks, one woman even muttered right in front of me something about “how can these people keep on having kids, can’t they see the world is overpopulated as it is!”. And that was my first and only!

If you trace it way, way back, it comes down to a group of population control fanatics (some of which later went on to found Planned Parenthood) who brought about that whole sense that having children was somehow detrimental to society. These people were NUTS. There were only like 100,000 people in the U.S. back then, and they wanted their to be about that many or less in the whole world, if I remember correctly.

Now, not using birth control is considered irresponsible, and our whole society is built around working, formula-feeding moms with less than 4 kids.

I can totally see how NFP can be misused. I use it myself but my their are some months when I feel pressured not to make a “mistake” if you can believe that wording!!!

 

[_pro-life_teen]

I know I’m just a teenager and am not married and (obviously) don’t use NFP, but I WISH it was “overzealously marketed” in my diocese. I think the total number of couples I’ve met that use NFP is less than 20 (I mean, not that they go around with a billboard or anything- it just comes up in the course of pro-life talks). I don’t think the Church has done NEARLY enough to promote it. At least that’s been my experience.

 

[Traditional_Ang]

Well, Most of the the people here know where I go. Fr. Wilcox loves to boom with joy out every couple of weeks about those people who are “Doing their duty” and getting pregnant and having children.

The examples in our Parish are the families who have to drive up in the huge Ford vans and pile out, youngest ones going downstairs for the “Children’s Service”, older ones upstairs for the “Solemn High Mass”, where they often comport themselves better than the old folks.

Parish mass booklets are all printed to the memory if one child who died after he was born to parents who then had another one (who’s now a year old) and who are now pregnant with another.

Fr. Wilcox recently had to move so his wife (St. Mary’s is an Anglo-Catholic parish) who’s dying from MS could be near the water. The Rectory (where they had been living) was almost instantly converted into a nursery for the ever increasing number of children that Fr. Wilcox has been ENCOURAGING.

I think you could call that a “Culture Change”. It was for St. Mary’s. Most Anglo-Catholic Parishes have a median age of 60 or so. St. Mary’s is more like 35 or 40.

For many Anglo-Catholics who are used to the older parishes that don’t have so many young families, St. Mary’s is also a “Culture Shock”!

May God richly bless those who act to save His Little Ones. Michael

 

[UKcatholicGuy]

NFP can most definitely be used with a contraceptive mentality, and seems that it often is. We have forgotten or tend to overlook the fact that the Church does not unconditionally approve of NFP. If used with a contraceptive mentality, it can certainly be sinful.

Here’s a direct quote from Humanae Vitae: (emphasis added)

If, then, there are serious motives to space out births, which derive from the physical or psychological conditions of husband and wife, or from external conditions, the Church teaches that it is then licit to take into account the natural rhythms immanent in the generative functions, for the use of marriage in the infecund periods only, and in this way to regulate birth without offending the moral principles which have been recalled earlier.

Notice HV doesnt advocate NFP as a “great alternative” to artificial birth control. Any parish or NFP organization that does so is not conveying the proper Church mindset regarding NFP.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

*pro-life_teen*:

I know I’m just a teenager and am not married and (obviously) don’t use NFP, but I WISH it was “overzealously marketed” in my diocese. I think the total number of couples I’ve met that use NFP is less than 20 (I mean, not that they go around with a billboard or anything- it just comes up in the course of pro-life talks). I don’t think the Church has done NEARLY enough to promote it. At least that’s been my experience.

This sounds like the opposite problem. Last fall our diocese began a big focus on NFP, and there are frequent articles in the Catholic Advance, our weekly diocesan newspaper. It seems the writers of these articles almost invariably talk about NFP’s “effectiveness” rate as if it were contraception.

It took me many posts and people patient with my rantings to come to the conclusion that these things did, in fact, give a false impression of NFP.

What are you going to do? No marketing department, no sales. Marketing department, some sales but others confirmed in their false belief. (“Gee what we’re doing is effective, why go learn yet another way.”) I have an idea; how about writing articles that get at the truth of the matter? Hmmm… maybe I should write one and submit it? Maybe others could help writing an excellent while pure article and all submit it to our local diocese for consideration for publishing?

Alan

 

[Christian4life]

Traditional Ang:

Well, Most of the the people here know where I go. Fr. Wilcox loves to boom with joy out every couple of weeks about those people who are “Doing their duty” and getting pregnant and having children.

Good for them! They’ll be paying my social security so I ain’t complaining! If you look at the number of people who will be working age by the time I’m old…and the number of women deciding to go “childfree” it’s a bit unsettling. There is going to be a ratio of 1/45 of nurses to elderly people in the nursing homes, which means I better have lots of grandkids and stay the heck out of one!!!

 

[gardenswithkids]

UKcatholicGuy:

Notice HV doesnt advocate NFP as a “great alternative” to artificial birth control. Any parish or NFP organization that does so is not conveying the proper Church mindset regarding NFP.

I noticed that when I read Humanae Vitae also, and my gut reaction years ago was “WHAT! You mean we have to have a serious reason to even use NFP!!!” I think realizing NFP was reserved for serious reasons helped me break the contraceptive trap. I find when I’m closely observing for my fertility signs I start to get worried I might make a “mistake” as Christian4life worded it. Maybe not everyone using NFP has that same tendency, but in a culture so drenched in contraception it’s easy to think that way.

Traditional Ang’s post reminded me of one homily I heard that suggested that couples in the congregation seriously consider having another child for the Lord. That was refreshing to hear. It must be nice to be in a parish where having children and creating large families are routinely encouraged. I would expect to be able to find that at a Catholic parish, but it seems most of the Catholics I know use either artificial contraception or NFP. The few I know who don’t use anything struggle with infertility. And then there’s my husband and me.

Pro-life teen remarked about not hearing NFP pushed in church. Sadly some don’t even bother addressing teachings against contraception in the first place. But when a priest or speaker gathers the courage to do that, I get frustrated when instead of really encouraging the Church teachings that children are blessing, they water it down with the “try NFP to keep your families small–it’s a good as the pill” rhetoric.

 

[JamesD]

gardenswithkids:

Does overzealous marketing of NFP promote a contraceptive mentality in Catholics?

In practical terms I don’t think so.
If NFP is not mentioned or marketed at all, then many (most?) catholics will resort to contraception because they are ignorant of church teaching or they succumb to cultural pressure.
Even if NFP is used for contraception for frivalous reasons I do not think that this will stand for long. Anyone practicing NFP for a significant period of time will morally and spiritually grow.

I think the case could be made only if artificial contraception was not common and considered normal by the secular culture.

 

[gardenswithkids]

JamesD:

I think the case could be made only if artificial contraception was not common and considered normal by the secular culture.

As I reflect on your response and the original question (does it create a contraceptive mentality), I realize that’s a good point. Overzealous NFP marketing may fail to promote the Church teachings fully, but it doesn’t create the attitude to stop after two or maybe three children. That attitude already exists, and some authorities in the Church just try to work with that instead of challenging it directly. I guess I’d like to see the Church challenge the “contraceptive mentality” more directly and promote large families, but most American Catholics would probably think that approach overzealous.

 

[otm]

There was a recent article in This Rock about NFP. I m not trying to say that NFP cannot be misuesed, but I do say that the sacrifice and sense of self giving that is required, as well as the much greater level of respect that it engenders for the other party is going to make misuse of it much harder than people here seem to think.

Granted that there is little enough said about the positive values of large families, it is still up to the couple to determine in good conscience how many children to have and when to have them. The Church could be more clear as to what consists of “serious” reason to regulate births. But I think we need to be a bit cautious about how quickly we judge someone else’s exercise of conscience. Infertitlity is not the only reason that a couple may have a limited number of children: 1, 2, or 3may be the limit they have chosen, in good faith, as to how they see their circumstances and capabilities. Many factors can enter in that may not be apparant: mental health, and job stability (who has that?) and the attendant ability to provide are just two that come to mind.

 

[JamesD]

otm:

There was a recent article in This Rock about NFP. I m not trying to say that NFP cannot be misuesed, but I do say that the sacrifice and sense of self giving that is required, as well as the much greater level of respect that it engenders for the other party is going to make misuse of it much harder than people here seem to think.

Yes, well said!

otm:

Granted that there is little enough said about the positive values of large families, it is still up to the couple to determine in good conscience how many children to have and when to have them. The Church could be more clear as to what consists of “serious” reason to regulate births. But I think we need to be a bit cautious about how quickly we judge someone else’s exercise of conscience. Infertility is not the only reason that a couple may have a limited number of children: 1, 2, or 3may be the limit they have chosen, in good faith, as to how they see their circumstances and capabilities. Many factors can enter in that may not be apparent: mental health, and job stability (who has that?) and the attendant ability to provide are just two that come to mind.

Everything you say is correct and true. However, In my opinion because of the cultural pressures, I think most couples tend to think in terms of " How many children do we want". Some couples know that they are commanded to be fruitful but they are afraid to step out in faith in God and have the number of Children that God wants of them. You are right that we should not judge couples by the number of kids they have, however, it is quite clear that within our own parishes (based on average family size) that there are more than a few couples who are “deciding” that they should not have many children. The well formed conscience must (by definition) leave the decision to God and follow his decision.

I think the prejudice should be toward being open to fertility (God did say be fruitful & multiply). NFP is to be used for facilitating procreation or to avoid pregnancy under unusual circumstances.

I think that as people of faith we should trust that our decision to leave the decision to God will result in Blessings. This is one of our greatest ways to love God.

 

[Christian4life]

Though I really wish people would stand up more for the children are a blessing mentality that the Bible teaches, at least if people are practising NFP they are not buying the pill or condoms and supporting companies which fund abortion/promiscuity and the like.

 

[Brad]

When it goes on for 3,4, 5 years, it’s contraception.

 

[p.e.driver]

As a teacher and promoter of NFP I can say that we often use the “It’s 99% effective just like the pill” ad to get people to even turn in our direction. It has been my experience that many many women have closed their minds to NFP because they believe it is the rhythm method and they don’t trust it for a second… especially if they have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. My diocese is practically hostile to our promotion so ANY advertising is welcomed. Hopefully they take the class to get the full story:

I can assure you (at least in our class and through the nation wide materials of CCL) that the concept of misusing NFP and encouraging the idea of children as a generous gift are explained MANY times. My husband and I usually explain it best this way: Every month provides a question & prayer is needed to discern whether you have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy… then if the answer is “no” you trust in God and see what happens. If the answer is “yes” then you take the time for courting and praying until next month when the question arrises. The old notion of “We’re planning on waiting 2 years to have children” dies if you think of it this way because you can’t see past the current cycle.

Finally, NFP is non-procreative not anti-procreative like contraception

Thanks for the post. It’s a great topic.

 

[Brad]

p.e.driver:

As a teacher and promoter of NFP I can say that we often use the “It’s 99% effective just like the pill” ad to get people to even turn in our direction. It has been my experience that many many women have closed their minds to NFP because they believe it is the rhythm method and they don’t trust it for a second… especially if they have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. My diocese is practically hostile to our promotion so ANY advertising is welcomed. Hopefully they take the class to get the full story:

I can assure you (at least in our class and through the nation wide materials of CCL) that the concept of misusing NFP and encouraging the idea of children as a generous gift are explained MANY times. My husband and I usually explain it best this way: Every month provides a question & prayer is needed to discern whether you have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy… then if the answer is “no” you trust in God and see what happens. If the answer is “yes” then you take the time for courting and praying until next month when the question arrises. The old notion of “We’re planning on waiting 2 years to have children” dies if you think of it this way because you can’t see past the current cycle.

Finally, NFP is non-procreative not anti-procreative like contraception

Thanks for the post. It’s a great topic.

Interesting. Although “non-procreation” doesn’t sound right either.

 

[p.e.driver]

Ok… here’s the full explaination of non-procreative.

Christopher West’s analogy:

Suppose there were a religious person, a nonreligious person, and an antireligious person walking past a church. What might each do? Let’s say the religious person goes inside and prays, the nonreligious person walks by and does nothing, and the antirelgious person goes inside the church and desecrates it. Which of these persons did something that is always, under every circumstance, wrong? The last of course.

Married couples are called to be procreative, but if there is a good reason, they are free to be nonprocreative, but you can NEVER be antiprocreative. Right at this very moment as you are reading your computer you are “nonprocreative”. We spend 99% of life being nonprocreative. It’s not a dirty word. Antiprocreative IS

 

[p.e.driver]

I found another Christopher West analogy:

Most engaged couples come to realize in planning their weddings that there are people they know whom, with good reason, they can’t invite to the wedding. The proper thing to do is simply not send them an invitation. Can you imagine sending them a "dis-invitation’? “We are getting married on June 21st, but we do NOT want you to be there. Please do not come.” That would be an obvious breach of the relationship.

Contracepting is like sending God a dis-invitation. “Do not come into our congugal act which you created for creation. We don’t want you here.” By not sending an invitation and showing good reason to avoid pregnancy, God will understand and there is no breach in the relationship.