Does sex, becoming one flesh, make you married?

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Bill77 said:
I’ve run into the idea that having sex, or “becoming one flesh,” makes two people married (assuming that neither are already married - then it would be adultery).
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No. And no. And again no.
Marriage makes you two in one flesh. Sex just makes you someone who’s had sex.
 
Not according to St Paul. Sex is a kind of marriage. The same Scripture Jesus uses, Paul uses also.

Yet, without Christian priesthood to confer a proper marriage vow, it is Porneia, which is sinful union.
 
I know that the passage is one of those “please don’t ever mention that” passages, but I think Deuteronomy 22:27-28 dispels that notion:
If a man comes upon a young woman, a virgin who is not betrothed, seizes her and lies with her, and they are discovered, the man who lay with her shall give the young woman’s father fifty silver shekels and she will be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her as long as he lives.
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There is a clear divide between getting married to her and having sex with her. That would appear to indicate that God views the act of sex and the act of getting married as two separate acts.
 
Bill77 said:
is seems to me to spell out pretty clearly that sex creates a marriage bond between two previously unmarried virgins that should not be broken. So if two virgins hav
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Without the Sacramental formula of Marriage as administered by a priest, the physical act is just fornication, a mortal sin.

See the Catechism on the 6th Commandment: CCC 2331 - 2400
 
I think, with the proper intentions, it probably did in ancient times. We see examples in Genesis. The man takes the woman into his tent and they “become” man and wife - no reference to a ceremony. But certainly this is not the case under the New Covenant, and probably not even the Old Covenant of Moses, where the Church has the authority to determine the “form” that entering into a marriage takes.
 
Sex before sacramental marriage is a sin, so how can sin create a marriage bond? If you want Church teaching, it’s in the Catechism.
 
It is a marriage bond, yet one that can be broken. Jesus said Porneia can be divorced. It is not binding like a Sacrament. It is a union of flesh.
 
I don’t actually think it is specifically Church teaching, but in traditional thinking, if two people are not married but engage in sexual relations, an expectation arises that they get married. Definietly if a schild is conceived but also otherwise, for reasons of decency. Thus although the sexual relations are already immoral (even if the couple intend to get maried), not marrying makes the situation even more immoral. So by that thinking, having had sexual a relationship with a person is not in any way morally equivalent to marrying them, but can create an expectation that you should marry them.
 
twf said:
I think, with the proper intentions, it probably did in ancient times. We see examples in Genesis. The man takes the woman into his tent and they “become” man and wife - no reference to a ceremony. But certainly this is not the case under the New Covenant, and probably not even the Old Covenant of Moses, where the Church has the authority to determine the “form” that entering into a marriage takes.
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It is also argued that it would have been OK for Abraham to kill his son as this was before God gave Moses his 10 commandments. God’s law applies only from the moment that he reveals it and does not apply retraoctively.
 
Sex consummates marriage, which means it constitutes marriage if you are already properly disposed. In Catholic practice, that means you have taken part in the wedding ritual, exchanged vows, and have thus been ritually bound to each other. This creates and/or confirms the proper disposition. Sex is still the necessary act to establish the marriage definitively. Without it, the marriage is incomplete and still dissolvable (or annullable). See the Catechism par. 1640.

However, sex without the proper disposition cannot ever be acknowledged as constituting marriage; if it did, that would open the door to sexual temptation being used as a means of trapping someone.

Outside formal Catholicism things are the same. Proper disposition would either involve a different ritual or be purely a matter of the heart. If you are properly disposed, then even sex with a prostitute would establish marriage – but in practice this is unlikely as one would probably sleep with a prostitute out of lust, which is of course not the proper disposition, but rather a sin. (And note that it’s a sin regardless of whether the person you’re having intercourse with is your spouse. Lust is always a sin and at odds with marriage.)
 
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I believe the above, but if it’s for life, I do not understand the rationale behind church annulments. Sure, it can be impossible to live with some people, but I would think a separation would be all that’s allowed.

Now if a marriage is not valid according to the Catholic church, I can understand why they would annul it. But there are persons who go through a valid Catholic marriage, by a priest, in a church, and still get an annulment. It seems the church might as well allow divorce under some conditions since it does grant annulments to those it considers validly married.
 
It doesn’t make you married, but it definitely makes you unchaste.
 
Becoming one flesh is marriage. Just not marriage in the Lord.

Paul is saying that two people having sex are “marrying in sin”. It’s like a sacrilege.

They are still bound, but as sin. Repentance and forgiveness releases this union.

A Christian marriage cannot be released by anyone. Even a tribunal.
 
NOPE!
Two persons profess their VOW together to leave parents & become one. It’s a promise to build a life together & have children. We are to be pure & chaste till married. Yes, both should be virgins.
This vow is made before the priest, who is God’s witness. God marries the couple. The priest is the witness.
Just b/c culture has changed after the sexual revolution, doesn’t change Gods desire for us to live Holy lives w Him.
It’s such a shame. LUST FEELS GOOD. God made us sensual ppl to help procreate. As testosterone is flowing & sweet young girls are in love w being in love, they go where angels fear to tread. Then, the guy is gone. How do you know, when it’s love? Keep saying,”NO!” Lust will leave. It is selfish & self gratifying. LOVE WILL STAY & ASK THE QUESTION. How many tear drops have fallen, needlessly? Plus, the sex act is so shallow, girls are used as sex toys & put to the curb.
So sad!
By God’s grace, I’ve only known my husband of 51 yrs.
Tweedlealice
 
Bill77 said:
In Matthew 19:3-6, Jesus says:… “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” Jesus even says, “THEREFORE, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” The use of the word “therefore” here seems to mean that it is directly BECAUSE the two are no longer two but one flesh, which is synonymous with having sex. But in the verse quoted above, it seems that Jesus treats them as the same, and just addresses the two becoming one flesh as what should not be separated, not necessarily treating it as if there is one or the other. He seems to treat it as if that “becoming one flesh” makes you married, and you should not be separated.
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Matthew 19:9
"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for porneia, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery.”

The word “Porneia” is basically the same word Paul was using when he addressed becoming one flesh with prostitutes. This is what Jesus was saying is an exception for divorce. Especially because some people/rabbis assumed certain unions as a valid Christian marriage, which were not.
 
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You are talking about a valid Christian marriage, not an invalid Christian marriage…

An invalid marriage is still a “joining of the two, to become one flesh”.

An invalid Christian marriage (rejecting God) can be divorced. If there was a contract, the Church must offer an annulment (which means it was not a Christian marriage). If there was no contract, then the individual must STILL repent of that fornication to be forgiven.

Many times, adult Baptism forgives these sins. Otherwise, Confession/Absolution has power.
 
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http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage.asp?number=503501

Greek text of the Gospel (Matthew 5:32) uses the word PORNEIA which means ‘illict or unnatural relations’ as the only exception to the permanence of marriage (which in reality means there was no valid marriage if it was an unnatural union, as in the case of incest or homosexuality). The Greek word MOICHEIA means ‘adultery’ and that word is NOT used by the sacred author who wrote the Gospel. Hence, adultery, while still a serious and mortal sin, does not itself invalidate a marriage (unless the person NEVER intended to enter a faithful union from the day of their wedding vows.)

 
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Natural marriage, again with no impediments, enjoys the favor of the law. As long as there were no impediments, we assume the natural marriage is valid no matter if it took place in a Druid woods, in an Elvis Chapel, on a beach witnessed by a Collie and a guy who got his certification online or in a remote tribe according to their customs. The Church even has a process for when a man converts to the Faith who lived in a place that permitted polygamy.
 
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