Does she like me as more than a friend. Aghhh need advice please:-)

[Jessamy]

Women check their emails every day…even my own mother does.

If a girl doesn’t reply immediately, she’s thinking of what to say…

I beg to differ. I am a women who doesn’t check her email every single day. During the school year I do, but in the summer I’m more likely to be outside than inside on the computer. Even women who do normally check their email daily go without it when they are busy.

This poster seems inclined to assume the worst about his potential relationship on very little evidence. There’s no problem with facing reality after 2 or 3 weeks have gone by with no reply, but a few days is nothing.

To the OP-
I would still suggest calming down and giving her a little more time to respond before assuming she is not interested. All this disparaging may be unnecessary and is only harming your mental health. No one likes to be turned down, but it may happen to you many times before you find the right person for you. Obsessing only makes things worse for you and will make it harder to try again.

 

[thomfra]

Speaking from a female point of view, I would reply not too eagerly, but it wouldn’t take days, if I liked the person. (if I were single) So, that fact that a few days have gone by, unless she doesn’t have access to her email for some other reason, she probably isn’t interested. Sometimes, girls can just be friendly, and they don’t mean anything by it…relating to romance, or interest in a guy. At this stage of the game, I wouldn’t sit by my computer waiting, or by the phone waiting…if a whole week goes by…I would just let the situation go. She’s not interested. Or it’s too soon for her to show interest?

That’s what I reckon too. But he should probably ring just to remove all doubt (so long as he doesn’t look like a stalker).

Then it’s onwards and upwards. Find a new woman to pursue, and don’t dilly dally (sp?). You are 30 now. Not 13.

 

[thomfra]

No one likes to be turned down, but it may happen to you many times before you find the right person for you

This is true. One must think “each rejection is one step closer to a yes”. he he

 

[whatevergirl]

That’s what I reckon too. But he should probably ring just to remove all doubt (so long as he doesn’t look like a stalker).

Then it’s onwards and upwards. Find a new woman to pursue, and don’t dilly dally (sp?). You are 30 now. Not 13.

it’s unfortunate that men and women just don’t say what they mean…and when people are not interested, they just play cryptic games that leave people guessing. I guess we are concerned with people’s feelings, but really…acting one way on a given day, and then not responding the next, is worse, in my eyes, than just being frank and saying…I’m not interested in having a relationship with you–we can be friends, if you like. I don’t know if I ever just flat out ignored a guy in college, who was interested, and I wasn’t. I think I was pretty direct…but sometimes honesty can get you dubbed some nasty names. But, to me, being direct is better than ignoring someone’s advances…

 

[FanofB16]

Hi.

Thanks for all your replies - there’s great insight there. I really appreciate you all taken the time to write something. God bless you all.

Anyway, she said yes to coffee. She was away for a week and just checked her email today etc. So that’s great news and I’m quite happy.

What do you make of this though? She mentioned how much she enjoyed the retreat but at the same time she said it was difficult because her exboyfriend was there and she misses him and loves him!!! But, she had a helpful conversation with him during the retreat. Your thoughts? Why include that in an email?

And why do I always overanalyze things

Look forward to your comments.

FanofB16

 

[Island_Oak]

Hi.

I’m a 30 year old single Catholic man and there’s a 22 year old Catholic woman I like very much. We’ve been spending some time together because we’ve both been away on a Catholic retreat with a few hundred others this past week.

I’ve been getting to know her, we seem to have a lot in common and she seems to like me.

So, ive been trying to work out if she likes me as more than a friend, and i cant work it out:

1. We can talk about serious and fun things. She holds my gaze for a long time.
2. She touches me on the arm quite a few times.
3. When I was in a group of friends with her, she told them I was wonderful and cool.
4. We can have serious talks about God.

And just the general feeling, that she is happy to be with me.
but the minuses:

1. We were finishing tonight clearing the retreat hall with me, her, and 2 of her friends. She hugged one of her friends, and then came over to me and shook my hand!!! I would not have xpected her to hug me, but I have always thought that a handshake from a girl is bad news if you are interested in her.

I might not see her again actually because we are all leaving tuesday and i na group of 500, its difficult t ofind people, but ih ave her email and would like to ask her out for coffee, but what advice could you give?

Are you really 30 years old?!? You sound more like a lovesick teenager!! Which perhaps explains why you are interested in a girl so much younger than you. Normally there is a HUGE gap in the maturity of a 22 and 30 y.o. In your case, likely, not so much. I would try and find an activity, work colleague or other outlet that will bring you into contact with peers you own age and appropriate level of maturity and activity/interests.

 

[estesbob]

Hi.

Thanks for all your replies - there’s great insight there. I really appreciate you all taken the time to write something. God bless you all.

Anyway, she said yes to coffee. She was away for a week and just checked her email today etc. So that’s great news and I’m quite happy.

What do you make of this though? She mentioned how much she enjoyed the retreat but at the same time she said it was difficult because her exboyfriend was there and she misses him and loves him!!! But, she had a helpful conversation with him during the retreat. Your thoughts? Why include that in an email?

And why do I always overanalyze things

Look forward to your comments.

FanofB16

My thoughts are in million years Men will never be able figure out Women. Go to the coffee And don’t worry in the least about what she said about her ex-boyfriend.

 

[whatevergirl]

Are you really 30 years old?!? You sound more like a lovesick teenager!! Which perhaps explains why you are interested in a girl so much younger than you. Normally there is a HUGE gap in the maturity of a 22 and 30 y.o. In your case, likely, not so much. I would try and find an activity, work colleague or other outlet that will bring you into contact with peers you own age and appropriate level of maturity and activity/interests.

I’d be careful about commenting like this…I was 22 when I married my 32 yr old husband. I fell in love, and so did he…and he and I were both mature. So, 8 years difference isn’t a huge deal, if the person younger is mature.

 

[chevalier]

Anyway, she said yes to coffee. She was away for a week and just checked her email today etc. So that’s great news and I’m quite happy.

Yeah, things often have explanations like that.

What do you make of this though?

Nothing really. Just that she wants to have a coffee with you.

She mentioned how much she enjoyed the retreat but at the same time she said it was difficult because her exboyfriend was there and she misses him and loves him!!! But, she had a helpful conversation with him during the retreat. Your thoughts?

“Helpful conversation with him,” sounds like uncertain future.

Why include that in an email?

Generally things don’t happen by accident, but it’s possible she just wanted to share that.

And why do I always overanalyze things

Because you’re impatient and you want to know more to be able to do more.

 

[Jessamy]

Hi.

Thanks for all your replies - there’s great insight there. I really appreciate you all taken the time to write something. God bless you all.

Anyway, she said yes to coffee. She was away for a week and just checked her email today etc. So that’s great news and I’m quite happy.

What do you make of this though? She mentioned how much she enjoyed the retreat but at the same time she said it was difficult because her exboyfriend was there and she misses him and loves him!!! But, she had a helpful conversation with him during the retreat. Your thoughts? Why include that in an email?

And why do I always overanalyze things

Look forward to your comments.

FanofB16

Heehee, I totally called this one, and I’m glad! Now don’t you feel silly for getting all worked up about it?

As for the ex-boyfriend thing, it sounds like she is letting you know that she’s got a little baggage left over from the last relationship… I’d see how coffee goes before you really worry about it. Just relax.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned it, because I’m tired and I don’t want to read the whole thread, but maybe she shook your hand instead of hugging you because hugging YOU would have been an sort of a temptation to an occasion of sin where hugging another guy might be like hugging her dad or her brother. If that’s what MIGHT have been on her mind (and you’ll never know, because she won’t tell you until your 50th wedding anniversary, because that’s how women are ) , she will probably make an EXCELLENT Catholic wife and mother. Call her!

 

[aboverubies]

I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned it, because I’m tired and I don’t want to read the whole thread, but maybe she shook your hand instead of hugging you because hugging YOU would have been an sort of a temptation to an occasion of sin where hugging another guy might be like hugging her dad or her brother. If that’s what MIGHT have been on her mind (and you’ll never know, because she won’t tell you until your 50th wedding anniversary, because that’s how women are ) , she will probably make an EXCELLENT Catholic wife and mother. Call her!

So true lol!

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m happy for you, Fan…I would just take each step at a time…and not worry too much. Easier said than done I know.

I personally feel that she sees you as a friend, right now, especially with the comment about the ex. If she was interested in more than a friendship right now with you, she wouldn’t have brought that up, I don’t believe. I mean, she might of, but doubtful. I think the fact that she is in love with him still, and ‘misses him,’ shows that she has not closed that door, yet. Now, if you go for coffee, and all she talks about his her ex…you might want to put this on the backburner, because until she is completely over her bf, she won’t be able to give you her full attention. Although, I’m hoping she doesn’t bring him up, and maybe you can be a good friend to her, and she’ll see you for how you see her.

Good luck to you!

 

[FanofB16]

Hey. I remain very grateful for all your helpful comments.

So, the saga continues…
Almost a week after her reply agreeing to meet for coffee and me replying on Friday asking when she would be free, I’ve still to hear back from her by email.

It’s kinda weird!!! But for whatever reason, it doesnt look good for me. .

As an aside, its funny coz I think we Christians don’t treat each other very well at times, and for me this occasion feels like one of them. All I’m looking for is the courtesy of an email reply!!!

 

[whatevergirl]

Hey. I remain very grateful for all your helpful comments.

So, the saga continues…
Almost a week after her reply agreeing to meet for coffee and me replying on Friday asking when she would be free, I’ve still to hear back from her by email.

It’s kinda weird!!! But for whatever reason, it doesnt look good for me. .

As an aside, its funny coz I think we Christians don’t treat each other very well at times, and for me this occasion feels like one of them. All I’m looking for is the courtesy of an email reply!!!

yes, common courtesy would be nice. I don’t think that this is going anywhere…I mean, yeah, she could be busy, but really–if someone is interested in another…it doesn’t take a week to coordinate a coffee meeting! Maybe move on in your mind…and if she replies, meet her, and just ease back a bit…just relax and be a friend…but, don’t be too overly anxious. If she is not feeling the same way, she will be tenative to meet with you then, if she is feeling the same way, it will evolve. True love doesn’t rush…just remember that Fan.

 

[chevalier]

Yeah. While sometimes loving hearts are eager, rush generally means there’s something to slide over.

 

[Ankabaranka_87]

I briefly skimmed through the posts here, and here is my opinion.

It was probably a better idea if you asked her directly for her phone number/email, instead of getting it from her friend. I know from myself that if a guy got my email/phone number through a friend, it is a sign (for me) of cowardness and that is a turnoff. I respect guys more if they ask me directly for my email/phone number. I am less likely to respond to a guy if they found my number through someone else. Girls, at least for me, like a guy who is initiative and takes the first step. What girls might not like is when a guy pushes too fast or too hard.

She agreed for a coffee and she told you about her ex-bf (that she loves him, &tc). This, of course as you know, means that she doesnt like you in that way. however, she may be interested in you. Try not to be too quick with her now, slowly get to know her.

She doesnt respond to you quick enough? It is her way of telling that she does not like you in that way, however she would like to get to know you more. Or, she is trying to turn you down in a nicest possible way. (believe me, I used this strategy in the past…i have a hard time to tell a person straight in their face that I am not interested in them)

Did you tell her your age? If she is like me (i’m 21), 30 is still a pretty far off age. That could put her off. And like I said before, take things slowly with her.

Show more of your fun side, joke with her when you meet her .

Hey. I remain very grateful for all your helpful comments.

So, the saga continues…
Almost a week after her reply agreeing to meet for coffee and me replying on Friday asking when she would be free, I’ve still to hear back from her by email.

It’s kinda weird!!! But for whatever reason, it doesnt look good for me. .

As an aside, its funny coz I think we Christians don’t treat each other very well at times, and for me this occasion feels like one of them. All I’m looking for is the courtesy of an email reply!!!

 

[FanofB16]

I briefly skimmed through the posts here, and here is my opinion.

It was probably a better idea if you asked her directly for her phone number/email, instead of getting it from her friend. I know from myself that if a guy got my email/phone number through a friend, it is a sign (for me) of cowardness and that is a turnoff. I respect guys more if they ask me directly for my email/phone number. I am less likely to respond to a guy if they found my number through someone else. Girls, at least for me, like a guy who is initiative and takes the first step. What girls might not like is when a guy pushes too fast or too hard.

She agreed for a coffee and she told you about her ex-bf (that she loves him, &tc). This, of course as you know, means that she doesnt like you in that way. however, she may be interested in you. Try not to be too quick with her now, slowly get to know her.

She doesnt respond to you quick enough? It is her way of telling that she does not like you in that way, however she would like to get to know you more. Or, she is trying to turn you down in a nicest possible way. (believe me, I used this strategy in the past…i have a hard time to tell a person straight in their face that I am not interested in them)

Did you tell her your age? If she is like me (i’m 21), 30 is still a pretty far off age. That could put her off. And like I said before, take things slowly with her.

Show more of your fun side, joke with her when you meet her .

Hey. Thanks for your reply. A few points:

1. I got her email directly from her.
2. She agreed to coffee through the email and said it would be great to chat about things we chatted about at the retreat.
3. I’m at the end of my wits here with this thing

I was really happy when she said yes to coffee, but then she has not replied to my email over a week ago about when she would be free to meet for coffee. How weird is that.

I’ll probably give it a few more days and then email very briefly and just let things go.

I could understand her igoring my 1st email if she did not want to meet for coffee, but why reply yes and then not reply to another email??

Personally, I think its a very cruel way to treat a person this way - we all have feelings and especially I dont think its a nice way for a Catholic woman to treat another Catholic guy. Does she want to meet for coffe or not.

P.S. Please don’t misinterpret the above as a crazy like infatuation, its definitely not. Its simply that we laughed a lot at the retreat and also talked lots of good stuff about God and I would like to get to know her better at least build a good friendship. Its so difficult to meet people these days who are faithful to the Holy Father and the Magisterium, let alone for me a single Catholic guy to meet loyal Catholic women.

As always, would really like your advice.

 

[estesbob]

As always, would really like your advice.

I suggest you save a copy of this thread so you and your wife can read it on your 25th wedding anniversary

 

[Ankabaranka_87]

Hey. Thanks for your reply. A few points:

1. I got her email directly from her.
2. She agreed to coffee through the email and said it would be great to chat about things we chatted about at the retreat.
3. I’m at the end of my wits here with this thing

I was really happy when she said yes to coffee, but then she has not replied to my email over a week ago about when she would be free to meet for coffee. How weird is that.

I’ll probably give it a few more days and then email very briefly and just let things go.

I could understand her igoring my 1st email if she did not want to meet for coffee, but why reply yes and then not reply to another email??

Personally, I think its a very cruel way to treat a person this way - we all have feelings and especially I dont think its a nice way for a Catholic woman to treat another Catholic guy. Does she want to meet for coffe or not.

P.S. Please don’t misinterpret the above as a crazy like infatuation, its definitely not. Its simply that we laughed a lot at the retreat and also talked lots of good stuff about God and I would like to get to know her better at least build a good friendship. Its so difficult to meet people these days who are faithful to the Holy Father and the Magisterium, let alone for me a single Catholic guy to meet loyal Catholic women.

As always, would really like your advice.

Ok, I am sorry. I didn’t read the whole thread, and probably misread the first portion where you were mentioning (or someone?) that you got her email through someone else

And I sympathize with you about meeting people these days who are faithful to Holy Father and Magisterium. I am having difficulties myself, and I travel a lot and belong to various clubs at my university.

As for responding once, but not the 2nd time, that is somewhat cruel. Even I would not do that. Possibly your email got filtered into the junkmail? But that would not make sense if she replied to your first email?

My opinion? leave it. something about this is fishy (and I dont know the whole story) and if you already feel in your gut (or your mind is questioning), i’d listen to it. because it usually never fails (at least for me it doesnt).