J
jazzy0710
Guest
I’m looking for opinions here.
As some of you are aware from previous posts, my FIL’s wife is really not a very nice person and needs help.
DH and I tried to explain to him right from the very beginning 3 years ago when he married her that we both had a very bad feeling and we were right.
Bad stuff went down, she opened her mouth and let stuff fly out and caused a lot of trouble for my DH and I. of course, my FIL would always defend her.
Time passed and only in the last 3 months has he realized what my DH and I have been talking about all along. DH took him out to play pool one evening this past January, just after his birthday. My FIL said to my DH “I really wish I would have learned from the past 2 times!” My DH asked him what he was talking about and my FIL replied “I thought I was marrying one person and now I realized she’s someone completely different than who I thought she was!” This is my FIL’s 3rd marriage.
About 2 weeks ago she posted a status on facebook that sounded like she was going to kill herself. I have her in my contacts on there as does my DH but she doesn’t talk to either of us and we don’t talk to her because she causes too much trouble. Even though I don’t talk to her when I saw that post I knew that she truly needed help and I knew that I had to let my FIL know. So I called him on his lunch hour to tell him what I read. He was quite stunned that she did that and felt that she has improved drastically. I explained that if she improved drastically she wouldn’t be talking like that and she still wouldn’t be causing trouble for his almost 3 years later!
The woman doesn’t work because she claims her shoulder hurts too much and that she can’t find a job. She yells at my SIL when she goes in the fridge to make a sandwich and makes her feel like **** for taking the last of the meat or whatever. My SIL is on disability because she injured her foot very badly but she still contributes financially to the house. My FIL’s wife also doesn’t like being alone and bickers and whines every time my FIL wants to go do something on his own or go hunting with his brothers. There’s various people in the family that she doesn’t like and will keep him from and won’t even take him to see his own Mom in the nursing home because she knows that she doesn’t like her very much.
So here’s my question.
This past September when my DH and I moved into our new home his stepmom started talking to me again on her own out of the blue after not talking to me for a year and a half. My DH and I went along with it and showed her as much love and kindness as we possibly could. In October of 2013 DH and I discovered that I was pregnant and due in June. We decided to keep it a secret so we could surprise everyone at Christmas time. Although this woman is not my DH’s biological Mother, we decided to still honor her and give her an opportunity to be Grandma. So we bought her and my FIL each a bib that said I love my grandma and grandpa and put them into boxes to give to them as gifts. DH’s stepmom had apparently gotten into some kind of fight with her own daughter earlier in the day and she was refusing to come visit the next day. So DH’s stepmom hid in the bedroom and wouldn’t come out. We kept trying to convince her to and she ignored us and wouldn’t come out. She even swore at my FIL at one point when he tried to get her to come out. She was really holding us up from things we needed to do. She would only text us and that was it. She wouldn’t even come out to get any food. She would text my FIL to come bring it to her. Anyway my FIL finally stormed in there and told her the news. She texted me and congratulated me but told me that this had nothing to do with her that she was NOT the Grandmother and was just my FIL’s wife.
My DH and I were furious and left. The next day, Christmas Day, she sent me another text stating that she found a bib there that I needed to come and pick up because she was not the grandmother and that I had to give it to the real grandmother and then she compared my DH and I to her own son and daughter saying that they were doing it the smart way and waiting until they had their own houses and a bunch of money and steady jobs and were married. Like really? My husband and I both have steady jobs. He makes a little more than I do because he’s in the Navy. We rent a military PMQ house. We’re not rich, but we are comfortable and have a brand new very reliable car. Couldn’t figure this one out.
Anyway…
I’m due to have a baby boy on June 21st. Do you think we should allow her to come to the hospital? I personally don’t want her there because she has and continues to cause way too much stress and I know for a fact that if she opened her mouth and said the wrong thing which she usually always does, my Mom would not hesitate to say something to her or even hall off and smoke her in the face if she got mad enough. My DH doesn’t want her there because he feels after all the trouble she has caused even when we tried to be kind and show her nothing but love, she basically crapped on us. The only issue is that my FIL doesn’t drive and she’s his only method of transportation. MY DH is willing to go pick him up but we think that she may cause a stink because she’s not allowed to go or that he may refuse to go if she can’t.
What should we do?
As some of you are aware from previous posts, my FIL’s wife is really not a very nice person and needs help.
DH and I tried to explain to him right from the very beginning 3 years ago when he married her that we both had a very bad feeling and we were right.
Bad stuff went down, she opened her mouth and let stuff fly out and caused a lot of trouble for my DH and I. of course, my FIL would always defend her.
Time passed and only in the last 3 months has he realized what my DH and I have been talking about all along. DH took him out to play pool one evening this past January, just after his birthday. My FIL said to my DH “I really wish I would have learned from the past 2 times!” My DH asked him what he was talking about and my FIL replied “I thought I was marrying one person and now I realized she’s someone completely different than who I thought she was!” This is my FIL’s 3rd marriage.
About 2 weeks ago she posted a status on facebook that sounded like she was going to kill herself. I have her in my contacts on there as does my DH but she doesn’t talk to either of us and we don’t talk to her because she causes too much trouble. Even though I don’t talk to her when I saw that post I knew that she truly needed help and I knew that I had to let my FIL know. So I called him on his lunch hour to tell him what I read. He was quite stunned that she did that and felt that she has improved drastically. I explained that if she improved drastically she wouldn’t be talking like that and she still wouldn’t be causing trouble for his almost 3 years later!
The woman doesn’t work because she claims her shoulder hurts too much and that she can’t find a job. She yells at my SIL when she goes in the fridge to make a sandwich and makes her feel like **** for taking the last of the meat or whatever. My SIL is on disability because she injured her foot very badly but she still contributes financially to the house. My FIL’s wife also doesn’t like being alone and bickers and whines every time my FIL wants to go do something on his own or go hunting with his brothers. There’s various people in the family that she doesn’t like and will keep him from and won’t even take him to see his own Mom in the nursing home because she knows that she doesn’t like her very much.
So here’s my question.
This past September when my DH and I moved into our new home his stepmom started talking to me again on her own out of the blue after not talking to me for a year and a half. My DH and I went along with it and showed her as much love and kindness as we possibly could. In October of 2013 DH and I discovered that I was pregnant and due in June. We decided to keep it a secret so we could surprise everyone at Christmas time. Although this woman is not my DH’s biological Mother, we decided to still honor her and give her an opportunity to be Grandma. So we bought her and my FIL each a bib that said I love my grandma and grandpa and put them into boxes to give to them as gifts. DH’s stepmom had apparently gotten into some kind of fight with her own daughter earlier in the day and she was refusing to come visit the next day. So DH’s stepmom hid in the bedroom and wouldn’t come out. We kept trying to convince her to and she ignored us and wouldn’t come out. She even swore at my FIL at one point when he tried to get her to come out. She was really holding us up from things we needed to do. She would only text us and that was it. She wouldn’t even come out to get any food. She would text my FIL to come bring it to her. Anyway my FIL finally stormed in there and told her the news. She texted me and congratulated me but told me that this had nothing to do with her that she was NOT the Grandmother and was just my FIL’s wife.
My DH and I were furious and left. The next day, Christmas Day, she sent me another text stating that she found a bib there that I needed to come and pick up because she was not the grandmother and that I had to give it to the real grandmother and then she compared my DH and I to her own son and daughter saying that they were doing it the smart way and waiting until they had their own houses and a bunch of money and steady jobs and were married. Like really? My husband and I both have steady jobs. He makes a little more than I do because he’s in the Navy. We rent a military PMQ house. We’re not rich, but we are comfortable and have a brand new very reliable car. Couldn’t figure this one out.
Anyway…
I’m due to have a baby boy on June 21st. Do you think we should allow her to come to the hospital? I personally don’t want her there because she has and continues to cause way too much stress and I know for a fact that if she opened her mouth and said the wrong thing which she usually always does, my Mom would not hesitate to say something to her or even hall off and smoke her in the face if she got mad enough. My DH doesn’t want her there because he feels after all the trouble she has caused even when we tried to be kind and show her nothing but love, she basically crapped on us. The only issue is that my FIL doesn’t drive and she’s his only method of transportation. MY DH is willing to go pick him up but we think that she may cause a stink because she’s not allowed to go or that he may refuse to go if she can’t.
What should we do?
