Does the church delay marriages because of age disparities?

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Cakies08

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My fiancé and I are looking into getting married in the Catholic Church. However, we wonder if our age difference (him being 54 and myself being 24) will make the priest/deacon want to delay the ceremony. As of right now we are not 100% certain of the exact date we wish to choose. We do not want to have our hearts set on a date to have it delayed (we would not be mad just a little dismayed) which is why we are waiting to set an exact day.
 
If you wish to marry in the Catholic Church, you need to make an appointment with a priest ASAP. Most dioceses have a mandatory waiting period of marriage discernment and preparation for several months; the priest will determine the date for the ceremony. If you are both free to marry, then your ages should not be a problem. See the priest soon and get the process moving. :cool:
 
Cakies08 said:
My fiancé and I are looking into getting married in the Catholic Church. However, we wonder if our age difference (him being 54 and myself being 24) will make the priest/deacon want to delay the ceremony. As of right now we are not 100% certain of the exact date we wish to choose. We do not want to have our hearts set on a date to have it delayed (we would not be mad just a little dismayed) which is why we are waiting to set an exact day.
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Whenever there is an unusual circumstance, the marriage preparation should be carefully done. You priest would probably want to make sure that you have both thought through not just the wedding but the issues that will arise in married life. It’s not just age differences. The Church does the same thing for mixed marriages, second marriages and marriages with very different cultures or upbringing.

It is very important that you contact your priest and begin the preparation process BEFORE you commit to a specific date. Not only do you need to make sure that there is enough time for marriage prep but also that the Church and the priest or deacon are available.
 
Cakies08 said:
My fiancé and I are looking into getting married in the Catholic Church. However, we wonder if our age difference (him being 54 and myself being 24) will make the priest/deacon want to delay the ceremony. As of right now we are not 100% certain of the exact date we wish to choose. We do not want to have our hearts set on a date to have it delayed (we would not be mad just a little dismayed) which is why we are waiting to set an exact day.
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If I was a priest, I would question the wisdom behind a 24 year marrying a 54 year old. Unless there is a pressing need based on economics or a baby in the picture, that age difference is pretty significant and can open you up to a lot of bad outcomes.
 
I am still trying to figure out why it is that man put up an image of Satan and his Mother and call Mary Magdelene the Virgin Mary and then call Satan the saviour Jesus. Satan is me the Virgin Mary’s husband! I am the Mother of God and I am tired of man pretending that The highest God speaks to him. Mary Magdalene/Haggar is not the Virgin Mary and Satan her son is not Jesus! !! I AM THE VIRGIN MARY and I have always been blonde with white skin and sea colored eyes. The son is actually sun which is a light filled planet, the heavens that Sarah gave birth to that was called in her laughter and her faith and her spiritual waiting in patience and silence of who she/I am until I had completed everything and knew everything was going to be okay for all mankind first and you perverted everything about me and I AM MANKIND’S ONLY HOPE FOR SAFETY. Now I am about done with man. I have literally been telling people who I am since Iwas 2 years old. I am 39 years old sofor 37 years now i have been staying my spiritual information and nobody has ever listened or understood a word Isay and I am tired of people calling me crazy them seeing me up to look crazier when I am not crazy. The people from my planet Heaven/Noah’s ark the resting place which again you turn Noah into a man-woman again, sorry! ! I am glad that Satan changed all the words to my book and my information and turned all the versus that used to say Mother into Father, she into he and her into him.

Another thing is that women are imprisoned all over the world and nobody can see the bars that follow them through every step they take. You men can never understand or see the unseen can you? ?? So if a woman cries out and you are so insensitive that you clearly don’t seer the chains and bars she’s dragging around everywhere she goes then it doesn’t exist? ? This is why you ALL have been worshiping Mary Magdelene and Satan this entire time because you can see those graven images hung up on your walls. Well then I’d that is what you worship then go through the tunnel if light where the psychics send everyone and never be released. … it is just an ever going reincarnation station that causes your sensitivities to become more and more hardened until you become a rock and drop eternally. Wow so Satan who you call Jesus gave you an eternal life in the flesh. Guess what I gave you through the power of God although a powerful/ masculine force which is harnessed by me a woman , I give you eternal life in the spirit. In Christ, what do you think in Christ means; you all are going to stand inside the body of one man, really? No Heaven is the church, the savior and Noah’s ark the pearl amongst the sands of the seas several realms back for safe keeping from evil things as the angels do not like man and now I see why. When I told them about evil man in heaven their knees started shaking and it was the first time it was silent in heaven and their shaking then caused all of heaven to shake just by mentioning you men to them, the seven angels are to afraid to even come here because if how you behave. Nobody had ever made it back home to heaven after coming here except me and me alone! ! Although Satan did once because I was standing their with him. Satan the husband who became my son just by new bringing him to life in heaven but he is actually my husband and the other side of energy. I am light and he is dark.
 
ClearWater said:
Here are some statistics on marrying with an age difference.

theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/11/why-to-marry-someone-your-own-age/382520/
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Statistics don’t take into account context, attitude, personalities, or level of commitment. It’s kind of rude to post these statistics in a post like this IMO. I mean, what are you hoping to achieve? Do you really think that if someone finds their “soul mate” they’re going to care about statistics that say they “might not work out”?

The OP isn’t 14, she’s 24, well within the definition of “Adult”, and the acceptable age for marriage.
She only asked for information on whether the church had a prohibition in this area, not advice on her choice of partner.

The answer to your question is, no, there is no reason why the priest would want to delay the ceremony solely based on your age difference.
 
AdamPeter said:
Statistics don’t take into account context, attitude, personalities, or level of commitment. It’s kind of rude to post these statistics in a post like this IMO. I mean, what are you hoping to achieve? Do you really think that if someone finds their “soul mate” they’re going to care about statistics that say they “might not work out”?

The OP isn’t 14, she’s 24, well within the definition of “Adult”, and the acceptable age for marriage.
She only asked for information on whether the church had a prohibition in this area, not advice on her choice of partner.

The answer to your question is, no, there is no reason why the priest would want to delay the ceremony solely based on your age difference.
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Thank you for posting this. I agree wholeheartedly. Good luck on your marriage Cakies08 and may God bless your family abundantly.
 
ADS1987 said:
If I was a priest, I would question the wisdom behind a 24 year marrying a 54 year old. Unless there is a pressing need based on economics or a baby in the picture, that age difference is pretty significant and can open you up to a lot of bad outcomes.
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Ditto.
 
ADS1987 said:
If I was a priest, I would question the wisdom behind a 24 year marrying a 54 year old. Unless there is a pressing need based on economics or a baby in the picture, that age difference is pretty significant and can open you up to a lot of bad outcomes.
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As far as I know, age difference isn’t an impediment to marriage. The priest does not have to do the marriage ceremony if he’s not comfortable with it. But if the couple have done catholic marriage preparation and are committed to marriage, he can’t justly deny them marriage in the church.
 
AdamPeter said:
As far as I know, age difference isn’t an impediment to marriage. The priest does not have to do the marriage ceremony if he’s not comfortable with it. But if the couple have done catholic marriage preparation and are committed to marriage, he can’t justly deny them marriage in the church.
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Do you think it would be likely for most priests/deacons to deny us? We are committed to all of the steps that have to be taken to receive the sacrament of marriage.
 
Cakies08 said:
Do you think it would be likely for most priests/deacons to deny us? We are committed to all of the steps that have to be taken to receive the sacrament of marriage.
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I seriously doubt it. My parish priest married my husband and I at 18 years old (right after I turned 18, husband was closer to 19) on the fly since he was leaving for basic. I can’t see your situation would cause more issues than ours did. If you are both free to marry, take the proper steps and have the intention to follow the teachings on marriage (life long, open to children, freely decided without undue pressure, etc) I don’t know why they would. You are both adults and able to decide for yourselves who you marry. As far as I know, the sacrament of marriage can’t be withheld from couples that meet the requirements and are willing to abide by the teachings of the church.
 
bitterhope said:
I seriously doubt it. My parish priest married my husband and I at 18 years old (right after I turned 18, husband was closer to 19) on the fly since he was leaving for basic. I can’t see your situation would cause more issues than ours did. If you are both free to marry, take the proper steps and have the intention to follow the teachings on marriage (life long, open to children, freely decided without undue pressure, etc) I don’t know why they would. You are both adults and able to decide for yourselves who you marry. As far as I know, the sacrament of marriage can’t be withheld from couples that meet the requirements and are willing to abide by the teachings of the church.
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You are your husband were the same age. In the OP’s situation – the man is old enough + to be her father. There is quite a generational difference between the OP and the man – that can lead to problems down the road.
 
Cakies08 said:
Do you think it would be likely for most priests/deacons to deny us? We are committed to all of the steps that have to be taken to receive the sacrament of marriage.
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I don’t think so. The priest only assists in getting you two married, but can refuse to assist you if you have an impediment like it’s stated in the Code of Canon Law. Assuming, neither of you has an impediment, I don’t see a reason to be denied getting married. I suggest you read the Cannon Law from 1057 and on.

What do you think of the minimum age required by the Church to get married (boy age 16, girl 14)? 🤷 I wouldn’t worry about it.
 
Walking_Home said:
You are your husband were the same age. In the OP’s situation – the man is old enough + to be her father. There is quite a generational difference between the OP and the man – that can lead to problems down the road.
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It could lead to problems down the road, but what marriage doesn’t have problems? If she really discerned and she is mentally prepared to whatever may happen like a pregnancy (for what marriage was intended ) and a husband that could help just a little around the house and raising a child without hurting his back and feeling so tired, or other medical complications, etc . If she knows now that she can’t count on him much to do that given his age, and is willing to go through it by herself mostly, then so be it if that makes her happy.

But if she hasn’t thought about that yet, she might want to reconsider.
 
E_7 said:
It could lead to problems down the road, but what marriage doesn’t have problems? If she really discerned and she is mentally prepared to whatever may happen like a pregnancy (for what marriage was intended ) and a husband that could help just a little around the house and raising a child without hurting his back and feeling so tired, or other medical complications, etc . If she knows now that she can’t count on him much to do that given his age, and is willing to go through it by herself mostly, then so be it if that makes her happy.

But if she hasn’t thought about that yet, she might want to reconsider.
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That’s kind of rude considering you have no clue as to either of our energy levels. Why should I not count on my soon to be husband? Marriage is a team. Hate to say it but he has more energy than I do. He goes or and dances for hours, I have to sit down after three songs, he works 5/6 days a week and then has his construction business on top of that, I work for days and I’m done with it. And yes he intends on being an active part of our children’s lives. I will take the comments of him possibly passing away before me (that is a possibility but so is me passing before him you never know), but not someone saying I shouldn’t count on him to help me. Your condescending tone is not beneficial to this conversation.
 
Walking_Home said:
You are your husband were the same age. In the OP’s situation – the man is old enough + to be her father. There is quite a generational difference between the OP and the man – that can lead to problems down the road.
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As I’ve been told multiple times here, due to our age at marriage, my husband and I were doomed to divorce. Marrying at 18 was a sure disaster waiting to happen. Having a baby 38 weeks after we married just increased the divorce odds as well. We’re still here, happy and a healthy marriage nearly 20 years later.

The priest that married us had parents with a similar age gap to the OP. Mom was 21, dad was 50+ when they married. Dad was Catholic, mom was unbaptized Protestant who later converted. His parents were married in the rectory since mom was not Catholic. They had 7 children together. There are many people that believe there was a very large age gap between Joseph and Mary as well.
 
Cakies08 said:
That’s kind of rude considering you have no clue as to either of our energy levels. Why should I not count on my soon to be husband? Marriage is a team. Hate to say it but he has more energy than I do. He goes or and dances for hours, I have to sit down after three songs, he works 5/6 days a week and then has his construction business on top of that, I work for days and I’m done with it. And yes he intends on being an active part of our children’s lives. I will take the comments of him possibly passing away before me (that is a possibility but so is me passing before him you never know), but not someone saying I shouldn’t count on him to help me. Your condescending tone is not beneficial to this conversation.
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I don’t think E_7 meant it the way it come across. English is not her first language. She is usually a very positive poster, not rude at all.
 
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